₦airaland Forum

I swore I won't post threads on this section no more, but like all resolutions I simply break them. Anyway this is an exception because I really need to say this.

This trend I have observed to be more prominent amongst the yoruba and least prominent amongst the Igbos.

A man decides he is tired of cooking, cleaning and sleeping alone on a cold bed, plus the first girl after a thousand that finally accepted to date him because her personal crush is dulling. The next thing you see would be pictures on nairaland front page of the mumu proposing and because marriage is pretty cheap for them. You see them married and In the no distant future, a thread like the rubbish on the front page "I think my wife is cheating on me".

How won't she cheat on you when you used a girl who was supposed to be a girlfriend for an exalted position of wife. How won't he keeping malice and having insecurities when you picked a boy instead of a man for the exalted position of husband. Shey una think say God is crazy when the bible said a man shall live his family and become one with a woman. He never said a boy nor did he say a girl.

How could you be married to a girl who has not shown loyalty to you, proved her loyalty to you, demonstrated her submission to you and above all stuck with you in ups and downs.

How could you marry a man who has not proven his loyalty to you, proven capability to handle manly affairs, proven capability to be unshakeable amidst fear as well as ability to be family oriented.

In the quest for Nigerians to copy everything western, we leave and ignore the engine of a vehicle and purchase based on the beauty of the outside body. Yet we forget na the engine go keep the vehicle moving for life and the body must fade.

You use a girl who ordinarily should have remained a gf, who ordinarily should have been a phase to be forgotten, you go on and wed her. Because you have been made a pussy who listens to all the nonsense women say about owing marriage to a lady because you slept with her. I doubt you are surprised now she keeps her phone secret and you wondering where to find the guts to demand loyalty.

Boys aren't meant to marry, they are meant to hustle, many girls aren't mean to be ur wife, they are meant for our girlfriends. Why not wait till you grow into a man before marrying, why not wait till the boy you are dating becomes a man before marriage. Why not wait till you both have decided that above the love that exist amongst urself that loyalty surpasses.

Loyalty is a preserve of the mature and ready, even the mature and ready struggle at it, talk less the boy - husband or the our - wife - who - should - have - just - been- girlfriend.
.
Stop marrying women you are supposed to date/ court first to determine their loyalty and compatibility, stop saying yes to those small boys who wanna be romantic like the movies the watched yester night and thus feel marriage is an achievement.

Loyalty is that which stops a man or woman even though tempted from cheating on their spouse or from being uncaring and callous to their spouses.

Cheers.

this is a lovely read and I can say categorically 98% true. What's a bro gat to do than to manage them else we become durrent and his kin

GooseBaba:
Smh...... My friend will you shut up your dirty mouth dia..! Look at this demented sewer rat. Ol boy, you dropped what was left of your brain.

Garbage in garage out.....

hahahahahaha

olalat:
Bros i take care of my home with ease FYI. I just gv u scenarios there. No perfect marriage. Ignoring the man will compound the pressure. It will mk their home hotter i repeat. The fact that ur wife use the technique to calm u down does nt mean it can be generally applied. The fact dt d man didnt open up to his wife is enough evidence 2 show dt hes a diff person to u. Ur advice may their home so i repeat. She should act normal and pray. My one kobo.

Well you cat know better than we all that accept my idea so thanks for ur input. But I shall pass

olalat:
Bros i take care of my home with ease FYI. I just gv u scenarios there. No perfect marriage. Ignoring the man will compound the pressure. It will mk their home hotter i repeat. The fact that ur wife use the technique to calm u down does nt mean it can be generally applied. The fact dt d man didnt open up to his wife is enough evidence 2 show dt hes a diff person to u. Ur advice may their home so i repeat. She should act normal and pray. My one kobo.

Well you cant know better than we all that accept my idea so thanks for ur input. But I shall pass

olalat:
Yes, im married with kids. A self employed man whose income is nt fixed but has fixed bills to settle at regular interval. So i know what im talking abt. The may be passing through a lot of pressure. Finance, family etc. She has to gv him space but act normal in d house. She shld nt mk d house hot 4 him again. The man may an introvert and again wt of if she is unable to conceive yet nd pressure is mount frm d family wc he may nt like to tell her so as nt to cause friction betw her nd d familw member. Many water do pass under the bridge pls. Ur advice will ruin her home i repeat. She shld nt heed to it. Thanks.

you should learn to understand that women are humans with feelings as well. You highlight Wat you passing through as a man if the house, yet you fail to realise what she is passing through as the woman in ur house. Many times your wife has used the method I explained above but you didn't realise it. Read my suggestions slowly this time and you will understand why it's the best. As a woman is a support to you, do also are you to he and must make efforts to integrate her in ur life. What is she to fear from not implementing my advice. A divorce? Divorce is a small thing compared to living in a marriage that all emotions have left. Thus she better arrest it now by getting his attention. He has to open up to her and change his ways. We all take care if our families and children and it's not easy for any man. So why the fuss with him.

GooseBaba:
It one of two things. Either you're telling a lie. Hence your agreeing that its the spiritual connotation that is the diety not the artifacts without knowing it . Did the diety seize to perform for its adherents after the artifacts were stolen..? Answer that and see the folly in your assumptions.

But I'm not one to call one a liar without proof. But i will call you a sewer rat cos I have proof. Your post.

People wey sabi no dey brag. Only empty barrel make the loudest noise.

hahahahahaha I will keep laughing at you. I can't be found out to have exchanged all this time to a boy beneath me. I dey brag abi. Please send ur full name in a pm to me and let's prove the potency of my bragging. Do it today so you learn a lesson at most by tomorrow. Please ensure its the same on face book to enable people match the pictures in the crime and barbaric section of Nairaland to you. Even better still post ur pic and full name here. It would give a better exposure of my bragging. At least there o evidence I warned you to desist and stop mentioning ur betters on issues beyond ur reasoning.

I just dropped the gauntlet, pick it up

olalat:
Counselor, are u married? Cos i see u trying to push that woman out of her matrimony. Earlier comments had really addressed the issue. Ur own advice if followed will just gv d man excuses not to sleep at home again. The man may be under serious pressure, the woman should just act normal and give him littke space nd mk herself happy. He may misinterprete her actions pls. No perfect marriage. Stop giving married people advice as if they are boy to girl friends pls, else u just promote animosity in d house.

before I respond and explain anything to you. Are you married?

GooseBaba:
The idiot that said he saw the "light" still messing around with what he termed was for illiterates... Smh..

Your stupidity knows no bound..

that should not bother you kiddo. I never defined the light nor will I give you such preserve knowledge meant for more evolved beings. You defined the light from your limited knowledge. You are a buffon. Wat makes your case a terrible one is that you don't realise you a stupidd person. You keep prancing all about nairaland disgracing urself. If you have any pity for ur future self. Change like apc

GooseBaba:
Lmao...!!!!!...!! Running from pillar to post. Where did I challenge the potency of any diety... Where!?

We're talking about the artifacts no being the actual diety. And here you are still supporting my statement in regards to their symbolic spiritual connotations With your rants.

Clearly I now know that you're suffering from post traumatic colonial syndrome. Linking illiteracy to the same thing you just testified of its potency.

My friend, you're a demented sewer rat for life!!!

remember they are mere tools, common mediums of expression so technically should not be potent. You dat is a devil pikin. If I put the rosary on you, you won't catch fire as I hope. Why is that so but if I can see you in real life and I touch you with small omengo. You won't be senile for the next 30years. Hahahahahaha small pikin feeling funky.

GooseBaba:
Lmao...!!!!!...!! Running from pillar to post. Where did I challenge the potency of any diety... Where!?

We're talking about the artifacts no being the actual diety. And here you are still supporting my statement in regards to their symbolic spiritual connotations With your rants.

Clearly I now know that you're suffering from post traumatic colonial syndrome. Linking illiteracy to the same thing you just testified of its potency.

My friend, you're a demented sewer rat for life!!!

ha simply cos of wat I wrote you no longer asking that stupid question about my african religion.

Its illiteracy mbok, cos the potency it possess I can tell you how it all comes about. But won't do so lest more penury is added to ur existence.

So from Wat I wrote it was in support of ur point of view? See if you have finished from any school, return ur certificate and use Nepa bill in future. You are a tablarasa

GooseBaba:
You are trying to hard to actually tell yourself that you're not a dummy. Hence your weak attempts to challenge my intellect.

I gave you specifics of how a traditional artifacts of worship is retired. You still continue to regurgitate classical european rubbish. How can a symbol of a diety becomes the diety. You well so? I asked you, did you practice? If you did not practice/experience any rites or observe then everything you are regurgitating you got from a book or Wikipedia. But to save face, you turn to accusations of me not knowing. Clearly shows your desperation.

The same idiot that said I don't know how his own ancestoral God is worship is eager to throw out "African context" that all worship artifacts are the actual diety..smh

When i called you a demented sewer rat you take offense. But I only speak the truth. And the evidence is in all your post.

hahahahahaha this boy still hasn't learned. Listen the religious artifacts in ur shrine bear different semblance according to their spiritual connotation. And historical use.

Thus virtually interchangeable. Thus why you regard them as mere tools. Before you suckled any breasts, I saw, I did and I performed. Today I do no such folly no more and I tell you. Ogugu exists in the diet it represents, agwu exists I the deity it represents. If them born you well please, walk into a agwu shrine with slippers and wonder if you wouldn't come out raging mad. My wisdom of today has told me Wat the African religion is all about and thus I abandoned it for illiterates like you.
I follow the light now and thus I also will tell you. Symbolism is very important to who accorded it. The idols where mere art to the colonialists and thus was so and represented nothing else. The idols were god-form to the Africans and they performed as required.

You are a small boy, a baby, thus I don't wanna go I to details of issues beyond you. But Yo prove the strength of ur african worship.

Please go snap ur symbolic tool with ur phone and come show us here on nairaland. If you find that easy to do, then pm me with an apology for ur idiocy you nincompoop and then I will introduce you to a potent african practice. That the thought of snapping it alone should make you a raving mad. Talk less of actually doing so.

Wat is, is not and what appears not be be, is.

Ponder on that and if you grab any sense from it? Would help ur ignorance in future

GooseBaba:
It's not my fault that you cannot read and comprehend. Keep dodging. There's evidence for all to see...

what I quoted is exactly what we can all see. Abi I no read well ni. Didn't you say so? Instead of covering ur head in shame ur still asking me. If I mention my ancestral religion of what use is it to proving my earlier assertions. Mr man to not know something nor be interested in knowing is no crime, but to be deluded to think you actually know is a crime and I believe you should be in jail.

Please ur idols are mere tools and tools are interchangeable abi. I have a idol I just molded fitted with WiFi and Bluetooth for quick communication with the gods. Please come and buy it to replace the old " tools" in ur shrine.

Be deceiving urself That the idols in ur shrine aren't more symbolic than mere tools of communication and reference. In the African context they are gods. Oracles, ditties, representations of the different parts of chi.
You are making me waste knowledge on you and I hate doing that

GooseBaba:
Throwing different dodge tactics to save face. You're a complete slowpoke.

Why did you stop with the rat reference. I got to ya abi... . You go suffer

GooseBaba:
What have you said in this your gibberish you replied with. Dodging the question asked. You Cannot debunk my statement. Instead you give me more gibberish.

My friend will you Sharrap dia!

black mother and child? Lmao. Ritual only during transition? Lmao., that u have sense? Lmao. Hahahahahaha. You are a case

GooseBaba:
Then mention your ancestoral mode of worship or shut up. If you don't know you ask. A ritual rites occurs if no other priest can carry the legacy left behind by the previous preist. Nothing is discarded. History is preserved within the shrine or relocated. It serves as a point of reference for preist to do other inquiries.

If a Catholic decides to throw away his old rosary. That's makes it worthless from the beginning. Even the muslims will burn an old Koran to ashes. They just don't discard it.

When was the last time a Catholic washed his clothes in front of the image of the black mother and child. Are they scared shitless? My friend stop exposing your enormous stu.pidity here.

I really had to quote you again. Young man you are trying too hard to appear intelligent. And you are really really not. It's not a bad thing though. Just read ur last paragraph and don't hang urself in shame at such monstrosity. Just learn never to spew such nonsense in public again

GooseBaba:
Then mention your ancestoral mode of worship or shut up. If you don't know you ask. A ritual rites occurs if no other priest can carry the legacy left behind by the previous preist. Nothing is discarded. History is preserved within the shrine or relocated. It serves as a point of reference for preist to do other inquiries.

If a Catholic decides to throw away his old rosary. That's makes it worthless from the beginning. Even the muslims will burn an old Koran to ashes. They just don't discard it.

When was the last time a Catholic washed his clothes in front of the image of the black mother and child. Are they scared shitless? My friend stop exposing your enormous stu.pidity here.

hahahahahaha holy moses. Look at me thinking I was talking to a person. Please read the nonsense you streamed together as words. Resend it to me again in a way humans can understand. Black mother and child? My friend are you chatting from Mars or did your spaceship just land? Plus ritual rites are only performed when a priest passes away and a new priest comes on board? Oh my, I just have to say it. You are a stupid fellow. Please before you become afflicted for claiming a religion you k ow absolutely nothing about. I suggest really zip it for ur own good.

Face you studies. Leave matters beyond you for your betters. I have told you this earlier yet you keep mentioning me.

GooseBaba:
Says the demented sewer rat...

have you seen a sewer rat before? If you haven't, look closely at a mirror and smile. That's how they look like exactly. Carbon copy
For the demented part. Read ur posts to me for clarification on that definition

GooseBaba:
You simply dodge the question.

Simple question, which ancestoral mode of worship did you practice. If you did not practice. Then it's settled that the knowledge you have of ancestoral God's is from books not from practice. That in it self exposes your folly on the subject matter.

It's a simple fact... A traditionalist will never call the medium he uses to connect to the forces of nature as his Actual God. Only mentally inept colonial monkeys do.

and traditional african practise is universal in conduct abi. Aren't you ashamed of urself. You don't know where I am from but u assume my traditional religious practise has same practise with urs. Please since ur practice tells you that ur idols are mere tools, it should be good practise to wash the clothes on one, to change the idol once in a while to a newer more modern one equipped with WiFi. If you are scared shitless to do that to a common idol in ur traditional shrine, them you must be nuts to call it a mere tool. The reverence you give to it has made it transcend a mere tool to a diety or God in itself. When a Catholic feels his rosary is old, he discards it and purchases a new one. Do you do same to ur idols oh you traditional idiot

GooseBaba:
I asked you to mention the name of the traditional God you personally worshiped through/observe their mode of worship so I can deduct if you're speaking from experience or regurgitating garbage from the books you read. Stop dodging the question.

I don't need books or Wikipedia. I adhere to traditional mode of worship growing up/observe festivals and rites. "Akuebe" to be precise in warri Nigeria.

Motherfuvker! Which did you practice. Fuvk what you read is what ancestoral mode of worship did you practice.? If you've never practice then whose ego is deflated in what they read and regurgitate.

Let's see who is stuck on colonial mentality. That's depicts his ancestoral mode of worship as idol worshipping...

I dey wait....

and after telling you the God I worship how will that improve ur mental capacity to grasp where I am coming from. I have explained in the simplest a primary school pupil can understand, yet you fail to grasp meaning from it. I can't break ur head and put it inside na. So go read my earlier posts. Even the answer to the question you posited is there.

GooseBaba:
See this demented sewer rat Feeling funky. I don't need to know you before I know that you're beneath me.

hahahahahaha e pain am. Only the immature type as you did above when they can't match intellectually in a discourse

Cholls:
My brother Eddygourdo I give you a thumbs-up. but I will disagree based on the fact that their marriage is still young.

When you have husbands or likes, don’t distract yourself from your partner. Try enjoying it with him instead of living two separate lives, or just express it and be there sometimes to support him so that he can feel inclusive to your life. You should push him and encourage him.


For the most part I know you women would only have a problem with your husbands if his selfish about it. Why be in a relationship when you can’t live together and share differences so that you can appreciate or simply learn more from each other.

One thing that might also help is if the wife tried to show some interest in what her husband enjoys. Maybe from there he could come out of is shell.

Well she said they shared till he pulled away. There is obviously something bothering hin deeply and he isn't willing to share. Not pulling away would make her presence irritating to him. I think it's best she does to Get his attention and hopefully for him to speak out on his issues

GooseBaba:
Clearly you are regurgitating...

Your initial statement was terming the artifacts as the "Gods". I corrected you that it's not a God, but a medium of worship. And a medium can be used anyhow the practitioners sees fit. Giving sacrifice to the Gods via the artifacts does not make the artifacts a God. An outsider cannot come and tell you how to manage your affairs.

People light candles in front of statues in churches. Does that mode of sacrifice make the statue their God. The adherents of the Koran have killed people who desecrate a Koran does that make the book their God.

So it's settled. Your initial post was daft. It clearly shows that you don't understand or know the purpose of the artifacts in relation to actual worship. You were simply running your mouth because you read a couple of books.

laughs, the couple of books hurt ur poor ego I see. Listen kiddo go and educate urself. Broaden ur horizon beyond Wikipedia and gobbling down stories the colonialists fed you in outdated books. If you learn to think for urself you would understand the folly you posted

GooseBaba:
Story story STORY... Present your evidence of colonialist ravaging the homes of commoners and taking great treasures. Or forever remain daft.

you this kid, you really dull. If you couldn't understand what was written in primary school format. Then you need to face ur books lest poverty ruins ur future. Don't argue with ur betters

sashishalom:
ah-ahn...so this is what my parents will give my yoruba hubby to be?haba...lemme start telling him now o..lolz..still rep imo tho

Wat a waste of good ukwu..
.. Yoruba ke

You marriage is very young and being that you never had the fine tuning phase during courtship. You both are having it now. Too bad he is pulling away while you are pulling closer and it's frustrating you.

You need to do the reverse affection method, pull away in character too. I don't mean emotionally, but it's a game to get his attention. Whenever he smiles at you frown and be disinterested though give him Wat he wants. Ignore him alot and give him the cold shoulders without it being very obvious. Continue thus till you have his attention and he starts asking you Wat the problem is.

Even when he asks, tell him nothing. Give him more cold shoulders and hide ur cheerfulness. This character if it drives him nuts then it's proof he loves you and was going through a phase

Give him more cold shoulders till he gets angry at ur behaviour and flips out. It only then that you table his offences to you. Hopefully you both would have a heart to heart talk and he would open up to you on what u is killing him

This is a fine tuning phase and if handled properly will pass, making ur marriage stronger

GooseBaba:
This is just pitiful..

If that be the case (african of that age)then you must agree that the image of Christ, the cross and the bible is idol worshipping. The kabal is idol worshipping. Because both parties would be upset if you desecrate this object.

Kindly tell me which african God or idol you worship. So I can deduct if you're speaking from experience or just regurgitating some rubbish you read in a book.

now I will explain to you in simple terms you can understand. The rosary when I the market place, is simply an object to be bought and sold. When a Catholic buys it. He uses it for prayers. But first he blesses it by the priest. By virtue of using it for prayers, it's a mere tool. Then after prayers thus same Catholic is about to fornicate. He ensures he removes this rosary from his neck in order not to offend God, the symbolism of his action is that God lives in that rosary, this same Catholic decides to travel or retire for bed at night. And before he does that he ensures he wears this so called rosary for protection. He would argue that evil spirits cannot hate hi so far he is wearing it. The symbolism of that means God is in the rosary and would protect him. Thus the rosary has been considered a tool and a diety all by the same person in different scenarios that suit his wants. Therefore the symbolism of that rosary to the wearer is that God is with him.

This is very much the same as the common idol in the shrine, it's a tool bearing semblance with a chi and also symbolises the presence of god. Thus from the moment of its use it is treated as a god, sacrifices offered up it in symbolism with offerings to their god, plus the abode of the idol treated sacred in reference to their god.

Young man in african religion there are many parts of the chi. Thus many parts are represented by distinct idol form which represent their identity with their chi and most times this images show conformity in different climes in Africa.

I hope this is simple enough to understand

GooseBaba:
1897
Over the centuries, Benin had years of greatness and suffered times of turmoil, but a single event divides ancient from modern Benin. James Phillips, a British official in the Niger Coast Protectorate, led an unarmed expedition to Benin City in January 1897 to enforce trade agreements and a ban on reported human sacrifice. To prevent the British party from interfering with annual royal rituals, some chiefs ordered, against Oba Ovonramwen’s wishes, warriors to attack the expedition. Six British officials and almost 200 African porters were killed.

England responded immediately, mounting a “punitive expedition” to capture Benin City. The palace was burned and looted in February 1897, and the oba was exiled to Old Calabar. To break the power of the monarchy and to end ritual practices, the British confiscated all of the royal art treasures, giving some to individual officers but taking most to auction in London to pay for the cost of the expedition.

Now I agree one has to think from a critical perspective. But could you kindly present your own evidence of Bristish troop ransacking homes of commoners..

that is one scenario that explains some stolen artifacts, others would probably have been stolen from other kingdoms asides the bini Kingdom, others were likely taken from shrines and lastly from the home of commoners. Art and artefact abound. Many of little importance and some of high value. The Cockerell is questions cannot be proven to a fact you have been from the story you just gave and thus could have come from somewhere else. Many artifacts where gotten from archealogical excavations of burial sites of Kings. Kings where known to have been buried with their treasures. Even great warriors and wrestlers of the time were buried with artifacts.

This points out my earlier comment. Why did the artisans make the artifacts. For prized possession? For worship? Or for aesthetics. Being that powerful men where buried with their idols in those days. Is it thus surprising their graves where filled with artifacts eg their gods?

GooseBaba:
Now your initial nonsense was about the art been the Gods. Clearly, you're inept of what the art represent in traditional mode of worship. The art is a tool, a medium of worship. The art is not worshipped. This is how daft you sound. It's like saying a rosary is Gods of the Catholic or the statues in the Vatican are worshipped.

Then you went over board with barter...!! Try looking up on a Benin masks and see if it does not tell a story. Mind you the Royal palace was ransacked. Not the homes of commoners.

and you have evidences that linked all stolen art to homes of Kings and not commoners? Nigerian education is very limited as it makes people not to think for themselves. Please Mr man. Thousands of art abound from different ages. And diverse climes. The art is the key and it was stolen from wherever they were found. It's not surprising most were found in Kings palaces or in ransacked shrines. Well my mention of the shrine retaliates my earlier post on gods

GooseBaba:
Now your initial nonsense was about the art been the Gods. Clearly, you're inept of what the art represent in traditional mode of worship. The art is a tool, a medium of worship. The art is not worshipped. This is how daft you sound. It's like saying a rosary is Gods of the Catholic or the statues in the Vatican are worshipped.

Then you went over board with barter...!! Try looking up on a Benin masks and see if it does not tell a story. Mind you the Royal palace was ransacked. Not the homes of commoners.

and the igboukwu art was found in the home of a king abi. Mr man whatever is housed and it's home revered with a belief that it represents a diety, has superceded a mere medium of expression of that diety. That the molded idols are mere tools so is everything. What matters is Wat is attributed to them. In the African context it's the chi. Man's attempt in creating a semblance with the chi he worships. So oga majority of artifacts with respect to african tradition were gods. To an ignoramus like you, they were mere tools of expression because you feel you have read two or three books, but to the African of the age, that was god.

The Benin masks tell a story people attributed to it, but nevertheless of what purpose was it crafted by the artisans. To tell stories, as a thing of worth to a possible owner, for aesthetic or for worship.

The age was an age of the arts and great men gave gifts of arts to Kings. Thus may have prompted many arts works. But generally the biggest market was the African religion of worshipping idols.

Please young man, that u read two books, learnt think inductively while considering ur reasoning in both objective and subjective contexts. It will help you

GooseBaba:
Clearly nollywood has thought you about traditional artifacts. If this was a gift from a royalty to another. Tell me wetin consign Gods inside.

Furthermore, most african artifacts tell a story or serves as a narrative tool for oral historical teachings s. From trade, to travel, riots or everyday activities. History was taught orally but the artifacts give a physical roadmap. Try and educate yourself on your history..

really, look at Wat you typed above. Read it and tell me you aren't ashamed. The artisans of old made artitefacts specifically for what purpose? The time period of the time would suggest an aesthetic use, worship and most importantly source of exchange (barter system). Most of those great artifacts where mainly between two categories which are the second and third I mentioned. Thus my assertions that they are or were gods is not moot young man. Many artifacts transcended between periods of worship, periods of barter and as of today aesthetic as depicted I the Cockerell above.

GooseBaba:
Is this post suppose to be a joke...? if you know what artifacts are in traditional settings. Then you'll understand the folly of your statement.

please teach us Wat there were in Africa at the time of their abduction. Defend ur statement