₦airaland Forum

bunmioguns:
Honestly


Didn't know why we all left Jokes section



This section was so hot that time

Seun wasn't forthcoming. He was legit feeding off our contributions but didn't know to make us chair holders share olders I mean business partners.

bunmioguns:
I was walking from office to home one day


I no get Money buy pure water because dem never pay us anything




Naso my leg hit on a big stone


Ekeroyal saw me and burst out laughing


I ask why he dey laugh


He said don't you know you suppose spit on the ground after hitting leg on the stone




As i look straight to his eyes


Naso all the teeth in his mouth comot




I laugh sotey I mistakenly Fart for Bin Gbagbo 's mouth





This yoke is dedicated to

My old friend in the jokes section


Bing Gbagbo

Ekeroyal

Larride

Donkoline

I have been trying to ignore this your "yoke" but the home training in me says slap pa Bunmi to order before he start to pick things on the road.

But thanks for remembering there are elders in this street that deserve some "Arkolaid". Bunmi my boy, I want to arrange meet up for boys this December. What do you think?

bunmioguns:
You never stop this your Eke



Bushman








































Where is bingbagbo



Lest I forget



I miss booqee




She carry my belle go give another man because I no get money

Yeye man, I heard bingbagbo is behind the famous Kwame & co of Ghana, and Covid-19 gave him more business so he's busy counting his money.

booqee will here you allegations and you'd be in better pepper soup.

Man how's Ajegunle?

Ajibel:


So these ancestors are still on NL

Besides the aforementioned, I can recollect our able mod dani1luv, studiocfr, agybabe too

Booqee is now married methinks

My brother, I'm glad to see you're doing well...oiin

My guy, your memory is really good. daniluv used to be our enemy those days. I hope he's still around.

I missed you guys. Well done my fellow ancestor.

You people should pls forgive me but as I wade through the internet and continuously see Fumilayo vs Bolanle, the only thing playing in my head right now is "Bolanle pepper them oh!.....Who no like better thing ah!....."

Good morning, good afternoon and good in-between gentlemen and ladies.

For the indomie shildren of this generation I have watched you all with great amusement from my prison room in Sao Tome or Principe (not sure where I was locked up). I'm your most prestigious comedian (joker as we called it) after competing against nuisance like bingbagbo of Ghana via Côte d'Ivoire, bunmioguns of Ajegunle, mikuz of Aba, mukina2 of Ilaje, Ajibel of Gwagwalada, booqee (boobsqee) of Ajangbadi just to mention a few. I emerged Victorious like M Buhari (in 2015 elections) against all odds. Thanks to my squad Homar of Ikot-Ekpene, sutoboy of Ijebu and bright of Ekwulobi.

Life in prison was not easy but glory be to God I came out with 2 wives and 6 kids. My combo marriage was state sponsored and as I write now I have everything working for me. I understand that covid-19 has taken away from a lot of us. But at the same time some of us are doing well.

If I forgot to mention you and you still remember the good ol' days please come forward for your palliatives. You must come with you ID cards though. Don't forget your face masks too.

Disclaimer: If you were a member of the "MODS" teams during our tenure pls stay away, no palliatives for you from me.

Needing to buy paypal funds $315. If you're genuine and have funds right away quote this message and drop your Whatsapp number. Or if you can make the payment for me on Fiverr, then we can talk.

umaryusuf:
Very correct.

But, I don't agree with number 5. How do you meet someone from Upwork based in another country? When the cost of the meet-up could be more than the project budget.

Your point is well noted. Under that circumstance a meet-up is unreasonable even in Nigeria but if the developer is in same city or a couple of hours away, I don't think a meet-up is a bad idea.

ovoSoft:
10. A genuine developer isn't CHEAP

Very important. However, a good developer is affordable to clients of his calibre.

talk2hb1:
What if you cant afford their value nko?
You beg, after wasting the developers time calling for a meeting you aint paying for.
Imagine the cost of going to a meeting in my micro accounting calculation:
1) My Cloth Laundary (750)
2) Transportation (@ least #500 in Lagos)
3) @least Meeting and mobility last 2hrs time could be used on ongoing projects which is billable
Now which part of my account book does that go?
In accounting book that is bad debt if at the end of the day we couldnt work together. Do you pay for the listed above?
Instead of calling for unnecessary physical meeting, you can initiate a meeting online (Skype, WhatsApp, Hangout, etc)
If terms is good, call for a meeting in person to build the final working relationship, in fact the online meeting will help you determine the developers promptness to give you update on your project, since most of your communication will be via online if you eventually signed him or her up.
You did not include a contract in your list, which ought to be part of it, that will help you know if your developer has a government issued ID.

I don't know why a businessman can't afford transporting and hosting you if he really wants to give you a job or even the developer doing same.
Talking about pricing and budget, in my experience that question, 'what is your budget' is all about hoodwinking the client. Prior to your meeting, you should have sorted your charge.

micgray100:
I appreciate your comment ekeroyal... But you know the person you talking about is a client of mine. You are right of his name and location which is Ibadan..
I truely registered a Limited Liability Company for him.. And he trusted me enough to have sent me money. I got his job done and delivered which he appreciated..
If you anytin against him, report him to the nearest police station. And be assured I will give you all my support for his prosecution if he is found guilty..

Ekeroyal, remember, this is a trend I have built trust for years.. I don't want any bad comment here..
Appreciate our little effort to make Nigeria a great country for us to be trusted..

micgray100, thank you for responding appropriately. I don't know you and what you do, but am getting to meet you. I met your client on this forum and entered a gentleman's agreement, kept my side of the bargain and he failed to do same. For your information, he has ruined my reputation and business relationship I have built over the years. If you take a look at my profile, you'd notice I've been on this forum for 10years, I have never been banned once. Now that 's a bit about me.

Question: what would you do if you pay someone to deliver something, he fails to do so and refuses taking your calls and chats? If you met him somewhere would you refuse to go there in search of him? Talking about litigation, he would hear from me.

Am not spoiling your business, but what would you say about someone who comes here to say his name is 'King' when it isn't? Part of my job is warming people about dubious people. And nothing would stop me from doing so.

Thank you.

tokzy205:
lol, so if the developer is just joining nairaland, it means he/she is not trusted, you miss it dere bro, so many possess all these you listed and they cant even design a proper software, anyone can share previous works, it might be that of their friends, the best thing in my opinion is for client to pay after service, at least you asess if he has done a good job or not before paying.

How do you motivate a developer to start a job without financial commitment? If you ask for a demo fine. But I won't start a job if the client haven't committed some money.

Talking about sharing previous work, yes anyone can share that. Ask them of the development version.

Ladies and gentlemen, the points I'd be listing below won't be exhaustive. If you've had you experience, don't hesitate to share.

I understand Nigerians are ingenious and capable of taking on very advanced software development jobs. I do as well. However, I have observed with keen interest that some of us are constantly taking advantage of our ability to trust ourselves based on word of mouth. I can authoritatively tell you to stay away any developer who fails the criteria listed below. It's just an advice by the way.


1. Make sure you have the developer's full name.
2. Ask for previous jobs, preferably those related to the task you want them to help you with.
3. Ask for their professional/personal social media handles/links.(linkedin, twitter, facebook, instagram)
4. Ask for their website, check their portfolio section.
5. Ask for a meet-up, if they refuse run for your life.
6. Let them tell you the value of what they are offering. Don't tell them your budget.
7. Try verifying their phone number(s) using truecaller, responsible ones have a traceable name on truecaller.
8. Make sure you pay into a bank account that corresponds to the name you find consistent with your findings.
9. Check how long they have been on Nairaland and checkout their posts/comments. Trusted ones have spent at least a year and have been active, in a positive way.

These rules apply to those who use fiverr, upwork, etc.

Feel free to add yours or share your experience.

peace19:
My name is King, I contacted this man on enlightenment on how to register my business name, to my greatest surprise, he helped me out with everything even get my company registered to be ZILLION KING LIGHT INTERNATIONAL LIMITED for me without me passing through any stress, this was great. I really want everybody in Nigeria and Overseas to contact him if you want to register your company, he is very great, Loyal, Kind, Efficient and helpful. Thanks

His name is not King. Or maybe King of scam.

Anybody dealing with this guy is going to be scammed. His name is Dowodu, Afeez Babatunde. He is a thief. He knows no jack in web development. He doesn't have anything. One of those Ibadan scammers.

Whatever testimony he has is a scam, trust me on this. If you need evidence, I can provide you.

Please stay clear.

Anybody dealing with this guy is going to be scammed. His name is Dowodu, Afeez Babatunde. He is a thief. He knows no jack in web development. He doesn't have anything. One of those Ibadan scammers.

Please stay clear.

Please those dropping numbers kindly take note:

1. Please if you don't stay in Lagos, don't bother dropping your number.

2. If you don't want to meet with the purchaser of the script, don't bother dropping your number.

3. If you don't have the exact script, don't bother dropping your number.

Now let me see one who has the script, stays in Lagos and wouldn't mind a meetup.

Thank you.

Are you up? Pls take your call.

If you're in Lagos and wouldn't mind a face to face meet up and have this script leave your phone and email id below.

bogats-ng.com

Please read the simple requirements above.

Thank you.

Whenever people talk of Fela it should go with 'MOG'(Man of God).

He didn't live a fake life
He didn't deceive no one
He helped as much people as he could
He exposed wickedness and falsehood
He was neither a thief nor a liar
He prophesied and they're fulfilling today.

Mention a better man of God among present day popular clerics?

Legendary Fela(MOG)

Oga how market? How is your car performing?

Please can I see the side and rear view? And what year is it?

dasparrow:
Yes she was released after bail conditions were met.

Oh! I see. She better face her journalism, else.....

As much as this Chibok saga isn't oozing a good aroma to "Nigerians", "Parents of the abducted girls", and whoever really cares, I strongly believe there's more to it. If the truth isn't told now, it would someday. My only concern is that "Nigerians" are too gullible, those who should save us the dramas are not interested, those who are interested, are professional scammers, expertly hoodwinking them people all over the place to believing that when "shite" is properly fried it would become vanilla ice cream..

Nigerians should start thinking independently and try controlling their hunger for cheap & poisonous food.

The only thing I've learned is that I should never name my child Lai, Linus, etc.