₦airaland Forum

Preciousgirl: i am new here
i need friends all over the world

those friends can be found in www.worldland.com, in www.nairaland.com you can only find Nigerians from all over the world. So let us get it straight.

Meanwhile, accept my welcome and try to eat the kolanut bunmi gave you.

BIN NEEDS SURGERY TO HELP HIM BECOME A NORMAL HUMAN
Re: Drop Jokes Breaking News Here!!!!! by Mr.T Anonymous(m): 3:04pm On Jan 13
ekeroyal:



The most difficult problem in determining his gender is that he no reproductive organ.

But Dr. T I honestly thought we were to keep this as a secret.

well,we have 2 operate on his reproductive system bt since Bin couldn't afford d bill,I had 2 announce it mayb he can get a sponsor.
ACCEPT MY WHOLE-HEARTED APOLOGY.

booqee: Oh lawd i'm d seventh to comment. I'm so happy!
Anyway how does dis affect the price of garri??
Btw, where is the joke?? I'm still searching abeg

I trust you.

Translator please

Mr.T Anonymous:
Bin is an hermaphrodite.

The most difficult problem in determining his gender is that he no reproductive organ.

But Dr. T I honestly thought we were to keep this as a secret.

Xymc...:
Lols... Nice jokes

Thanks bro

bin gbagbo: lol nice unfunny notes

BG(Bush Goat) did you identify with any of them?

bunmioguns:

Hi the "joker", hope your Sunday is going well.

I went clubbing last night and really had a good time. The lady sitting close having spent some considerable
amount of time looking at my beer belly sarcastically asked "is that lager or bitter"?

I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."

This is the story of a Governor from Nigeria flying in a small-sized airplane with just his aides.

Suddenly he had a heart attack and looses control. One of his aides becomes frantic and calls out a May Day.

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My 'oga' had a heart attack and is almost dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

He hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

He says, "I'm 5'4" and I’m in the front seat.."

"Okay," says the voice on the radio, "Repeat after me: Our Father, Who art in Heaven......"

And they prayed and prayed and prayed.....and you know the rest.

(Please don't say I told you.)

RENT FOR APARTMENT PART 2

'Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.
Therefore send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady.
Thanks for your understanding

Hi Suto, how are you doing?

Thanks Vanneri

Mr. T, BG is like that boy who wakes up and forgets what he looks like or what he's wearing and goes bragging about his looks and his "all seeing" shorts.
Please save your saliva, I mean your time and energy. BG is a robot, you can comprehend the rest.

PretiEbony: In your dreams abi?

BG, it's damn obvious all the night you spent scrubbing the floor, doing the laundry, trimming the flowers, feeding the dogs are never going to yield anything new.
Face it, you're damned

Bush Goat (BG) please get me served fast

Mr.T Anonymous:
Am cul,don't mind him,can't u see dat his name resembles his character BIN AGBO(RAM).

T's the man

https://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-hug010.gif

Emmm, BG thought you had bar attendants. Or are you the managaer, bartender, bar attendants at the same time?
Greediness never helps. Please look for an elegant manager to help you out while you continue serving.
And lest I forget, we can open a church in one corner to help people repent. I can notice some people have
a love for God but they can't find a church outside this place.

Now give me a four litres of alomo and bacon

Mr.T Anonymous:
*laughs*nice jokes,ekeroyal,I don miss u,where hav u been

Thanks bro, have been very fine. Just been busier than usual. How are you too?

bin gbagbo: GUY ARE U GAY

BG, the gay Lord, hope you have your Vaseline and your partner, cos we don't keep such. Now let me direct you to where you can find a space. (Gambari!)

During 2012 I have been rude, bad tempered, obnoxious, naughty, good and down right dirty. I just want to let you all know that 2013 will be exactly the same. New year's resolution STARTS!

Hurray! Please tell us yours

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT

A man is flying from Los Angeles to New York. During the meal service, he accidentally knocked the spoon off to the aisle with his elbow.
The flight attendant immediately took a spoon from his pocket and placed it on his tray table. The man was very impressed by the promptness
of the service and asked, "Do all flight attendants carry a spoon in their pockets?"

The flight attendant answered, "We had an efficiency expert in to evaluate our operation. He determined that 25% of the customers knock the
spoon off their tray tables. By carrying a spare spoon, we all save trips to the galley and can be much more efficient."

Later, as the flight attendant is picking his dirty tray up, the customer asked, "Excuse me for asking but why do you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The flight attendant replied, "The efficiency expert determined that we were spending too much time washing our hands after we went to the bathroom.
To counteract this, we tie strings to our joysticks."

The customer looked confused. "How does that help?" he asked.

"Well, when I go to the bathroom I just use the string. Since I never touched myself I don't need to wash my hands."

The customer nodded and asked, "But how do you get it back in your pants?"

The flight attendant smiled, "I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."

^^Both men above are adulterous.

Besides, I know BG inherited his late uncle's wife

God's Great!!

babarazy: So. Wetin com happen next?

And your village was flooded with monkeys

bin gbagbo: eke i am sure you come from this village and sure that you are one of the male monkeys bought for 15 naira

Gambari

@OP, how about guys on suit/jacket with damn good looks?

Once upon a time in a village, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for N10. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them..
The man bought thousands at N10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers got tired and stopped.
He further announced that he would now buy at N20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to N25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at N100! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at N35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for N100."
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!






Welcome to Bin Gbagbo Memorial Stock exchange

PretiEbony: Okay!!!

It's becoming obvious that you're Mrs BG

bin gbagbo: ^^^

i will keep hiding your post till you post sense


signed

BIN GEE (SUPER MOD )

What was hidden?

bin gbagbo: mtcheew!!

Toilet fly
Why the jealousy?

bunmioguns: Nice composition. . . .barka de xmas

Thanks Bunmi, have fun

It's all smiles friends and it's obviously a time most folks look up to and to make the most out of life -seriously. And in the spirit of "true love", I have meticulously penned down a few tips that have proved handy over and over again for people of all class regardless of your race, age, location, etc.

Here we go buddies :


1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think.

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat step #3.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake and bacon? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, therefore, never let it go by any means. I mean, have some real good standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Happy holidays folks

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