₦airaland Forum

Mr. Gbagbo at the Funeral

**Pls a minute silence before you read this**

A famous heart specialist who once worked at Gbagbo's memorial hospital died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart.

When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed. Just at that moment Bin started laughing.

The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing? Are you nuts?"

"I was thinking about my own funeral" Bin replied. "What's so funny about that?" "I'm a native gynecologist."

BIN, A PAINTER WHO CLAIMS HE'S A MEDICAL NATIVE DOCTOR

Re: Bin Gbagbo's Memorial Hospital by booqee(f): 8:12pm On Jul 10

I think d painter is bingbagbo, while d woman is mugulo.

bunmioguns: .
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Fall down from Okada

Please change your career, you're too young for this

BUNMIOGUNS RIDES OKADA FOR DAILY BREAD

Re: Bin Gbagbo's Memorial Hospital by bunmioguns(m): 4:25pm On Jul 11

booqee: I think d painter is bingbagbo, while d woman is mugulo.

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Fall down from Okada

"Excuse me", why all the rant about boobsqee or what? Is she got such large ****? Even at that, it's a priceless gift you guys should appreciate. *I never mean to insult anyone. However, this thread is going haywire, I think it's time we locked this thread. Thought I heard someone threaten to close the JS because of this kind of stuff, or have they gone blind or what?

This is a topic am definitely interested in. Please who can give me a rough estimate retail price for this pure gold chains in Nigeria?

18k, 22k, 24k. I'd appreciate.


Thanks

swtchicgurl: hahaha! I hope ur wife isn't on nairaland ooo. She go brk ur head! Lol

Nah! She ain't there, she's a smarta$$ but when it comes to NL, she's just an 'a$$'. Don't worry she doesn't even know if NL exists. Common we both all the way, but hope it's not serious.

bashy_demy: Nice one bro like your definitions of kiss

thanks bro

[center]Lunching of the Department of "Yaba Left", Bin Gbabgbo's Memorial hospital.
Hip-Hip-Hippppppppp Hurray!
[/center]

Finally the Psychiatry department is now incorporated into Bin Gbagbo's memorial hospital. And as part of the Launch, he took a good number of retarded junkies from a government owned psychiatric hospital, gave them training and boom he organized them and took them to the local stadium to prove to the dignities that he was capable of some financial support by the way he handled them.

It was a local derby football match and the stadium was packed full. And it was time for the anthems, Bin commands: NUTS UP!(they all stood up). After the anthem, he commands again NUTS DOWN(they all stood) The crowd was amazed and carried away by this brilliance.

Then came the goal from the home team and Bin commanded CHEER NUTS(And they all broke into cheers and applause). Now it was obvious things are going well. And he decided to go grab a beer and some peanuts, leaving them in the care of his able assistance(Donkollione).

When Bin returned, there was riot in progress, all dignities already taken to their heels. And he inquired what had happened, Don replies 'sir, everything was fine until a boy named Mikuz came around and yelled PEANUTS!

^^Please stop spitting on me. Try and behave responsible for once, for one thing you now own your personal memorial hospital.
By the way, thanks Bin for giving us the laugh. Hold on, looks like something new happened again today. Lemme check

Thanks everyone for viewing, commenting, and guessing who the doctor is. In a while we'd be sending the gift to the winner.

@Bin, am waiting for your 'Liars'. I've got enough S. Advocates to take care of them.

swtchicgurl: can i kiss you?

Sure honei common, I'd give you butterfly stomach.

~vicky~:
i love this

Thanks Vicky ma'am

The Naked Truth

A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked under a sheet on a gurney in the hallway of a Bin Gbagbo's Memorial hospital. Just then a man in a white coat came by, lifted the sheet, looked for a moment, and then disappeared.

A few minutes later, the same man in the white coat stopped by again, lifted the sheet, looked closely for a moment, then disappeared.

However, when he appeared a third time, the anxious woman worked up her courage and asked, “Doctor, will I be going into surgery sometime soon?”

The man replied, “Don’t ask me, lady. I’m just a painter!”

Woman:

**Guess who the man is and win a great price for yourself.

Dear Fellow Nairalanders,

It is no longer news that Bin Gbagbo -the self acclaimed Doctor & Jokes President of NL, the All women peddler, the one man gang of harebrained hillbilly, etc has finally opened a memorial hospital for himself while still alive. And as a dedicated fellow, I have resigned from my job to make sure I bring you happenings from inside and all around the hospital premises.

Please be sure to check here regularly for updates. Your advice to our once sane friend Bin will be highly appreciated, because I heard he's planning to add a "Yaba Left" Department soon. I hope he doesn't become the first patient as usual.

Yours nairalandly,


Comdt Eke Royal
(GCON -NL)

Definition of "KISS"

Prof. of English: a "KISS" is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper;
it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Prof. of Accounting: a "KISS" is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Prof. of Architecture: a "KISS" is a process which builds a solid bond between two dynamic objects.

Prof. of Dentistry: a "KISS" is both infectious & antiseptic.

Prof. of Statistics: a "KISS" is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of two minds and hearts.

Prof. of Philosophy: a "KISS" is persecution for the child, ecstasy for youth, and homage for the old.

Prof. of Computer Science: What is a "KISS"? It looks to be an undefined variable, whose possible value can equal love.

Prof. of Algebra: a "KISS" is infinity, because it is two divided by nothing (not zero).

Prof. of Geometry: a "KISS" is the shortest distance between two lips.

Prof. of Physics: a "KISS" is the contraction of two mouths, due to the expansion of the heart.

Prof. of Chemistry: a "KISS" is the reaction of an interaction between two hearts.

Prof. of Zoology: a "KISS" is the interchange of friendly salivary bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology: a "KISS" is the juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscles in the state of contraction.

Prof. of Economics: a "KISS" is that thing for which the demand is always higher than the supply.

I nominate Vicky. She seems to be the only one in form now even though she's a copy cat.

@Suto, 1st joke's nice but the second is what I can't tell. Any other joke?

Anyways, hope your Sunday is going well. Flexing TinZ.

Just because am being nice to a colleague, men like WasteBin & DaniLoaf are misbehaving. Smh! I now see the lack of maturity that has triggered Mrs. Toure to slam you guys. What a pity.

Meanwhile, Switchgal, I don't wear boxers, I do wrestlers. You faultered. Try sth else. Lmao

swtchicgurl: ow r u sweetie?

Am fine honei! Where have ye been?

bin gbagbo: shatttapp dia, since when did you raise a family LLIAR!!

riffraff, I know you'll start raising families when you're 70. Continue living in a bar, your children will know you on your burial day. bhenchod!

bunmioguns: .

Bros where u dey since, abi na Dani1luv Mukina you?

Hey Bunmi, ekaro! I've been there just that we must face our families and job fully, sometimes when the situation asks for it. But no probs, everything is fine. Meanwhile, Nobody Mukina me at all . (Mukina == Ban) right?

And how are you, by the way?

@BinLaden, where's the joke?

Pls who's BIGVAJINA? And why is Mikuz running away, did she over feed you with her endowment?
@Mikuz, pls go answer your call and stop embarrassing men, bakar-ra What is chasing you?

@Suto, I love you as a friend but sincerely this idea ain't a good one. Am that poor that I can't even afford a blackberry not to mention the pin.
Why not we use yahoogroups? Holding on to blackberry means oppressing the poor as they teach in the church.

mikuz: Since a ban has been placed on intimacy jokes : from now henceforth any intimate joke posted here will be moved to sexuality section. So in line with the on going transformation agenda spear headed by Mukina2 and Dan1luv, Dry jokes should also be moved to Dry section.
(No offeinhence)

Hey Mikuz, KEDU? How the family and job. It's been a while.

bin gbagbo: . . .yes!, its now we gonna see the real jokers on here!

i am a versatile joker and i create jokes on every topic, unlike guys like ekeroyal, sutoboy, booqee, bright etc.

prove you can do a joke devoid of sex now!

Hi Bin Wiener, it has been proven that you're not one of the dumbest but the only dumba$$+ar$ehole we've got not just in NL but all over the internet. Always jealous, sorry do u get drunk round the clock? I mean do u live in a bar? In a nice way.


And to 'Mrs. Yaya Toure', I never knew you now own NL so that you just jump around slamming people. If you don't mind, kindly moderate the sports section or tell us if you are now the mod for this section or are you now the owner of NL? Nigerians, is time to grow up and be like your counterparts world over or forever remain a drawback to the world. NL should be like a FB for Nigerians and not a prison yard. If Seun(with all due respect) is no longer interested in us expressing ourselves to the best of our abilities for our humour, please go on and close down this site.

Thanks.

booqee: Hmmm.....quite funny

Panshow: LOL. Gr8.

Thanks Boo, Panshow as well as those who enjoyed but it are too lazy or would I say silly not to say a word.

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the
Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says
"Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm
granting you six months to go back to earth and be
anyone you want to be."
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and
*poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipal...ini."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but
that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and
hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts
laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No sister,
the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

Point!

The Business Package

An airline introduced a special package for business men 'Buy a ticket and get your wife's ticket free'.
After great success, the airline sent letters to all the wives asking them 'how was the trip?'
All of them gave same reply "Which Trip?"

@mcnepow, you're screwed now, have you got any other witness?