Ekeroyal's Posts
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 Jokes Etc › Re: 4 Words When The Co Ndom Breaks.... by ekeroyal(m): 11:01pm On Dec 10, 2012 |
^^Boobsqee four words please!! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: 4 Words When The Co Ndom Breaks.... by ekeroyal(m): 9:05pm On Dec 09, 2012 |
I don't use condo.m |
| Jokes Etc › Re: i am back to jokes section for good. . ..credits to slimchi2k2 by ekeroyal(m): 8:47pm On Dec 09, 2012 |
bin gbagbo: its with deep regrets that i had to leave this way, but i have to. i have joked about leaving before, but i mean it this time. there is no truth here. i have been the best here buthttps://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-chores015.gif |
| Jokes Etc › Super Sunday 8th Edition(we're In Lafia) by ekeroyal(op): 8:38pm On Dec 09, 2012 |
A fulani cattle rearer was on a highway when he suddenly started wondering how to lead his cattle to their destination quite far off. While he continued to contemplate, he noticed the cars after refilling from a petrol pump zoom out on top speed. He goes inside and requests his cattle are filled as well. Strange! The attendant refuses and the man goes angry, gets his dagger out and after reaching agreement with the Petrol station manager, he paid and the cattle were brought forward. The attendant now inquires where to pump into, the man replies "the anu$". The first cattle is brought close as soon as a few drops got in, the cattle took off on full speed. The next cattle all had a share & were now on top speed. To catch up with them, he requests that he gets his share via the anu$. The attendant wastes no time in pumping the nozzle into his anus and as soon as it got in, the man zooms off. What a day! Happy Sunday Yokes Section  |
| Forum Games › Re: What Xmas Gift Will You Give The Person Above You? by ekeroyal(m): 10:51pm On Dec 08, 2012 |
crayons and drawing book |
| Literature › Re: Strong Words From The Comdt by ekeroyal(op): 10:51pm On Dec 06, 2012 |
"Love can neither be created nor destroyed but can be planted, grown, developed, shared and transferred from one person/thing to another consciously or otherwise." ~Comdt Эke Royaℓ™ |
| Jokes Etc › Re: 'smart' Bin! :P by ekeroyal(m): 12:20am On Dec 06, 2012 |
booqee: Yes its copy and paste! I'm not a comedian..don't expect me to start forming jokes from my head! Damn...there are more productive things i do with my time dan been a silly jester on nl. Puleazzze!OK, I went on vacation because of things like this, please don't make me go again. Try to be a better joker next time. otooro: slow down boobsqee, u know what you'll do, make sure u lie on eke and disgrace his family!And you the exact definition of madness, where have you been? Or did you escape Yaba Left?  |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 12:00am On Dec 06, 2012 |
RENT FOR APARTMENT A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque & mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following letter: Dear Madam: Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that: #1 - it had never been occupied; #2 - there was plenty of heat; and #3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home. However, I found out that: #1- it had been previously occupied, #2 - there wasn't any heat, and #3 - it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following watch out for part 2 |
| Jokes Etc › Re: 'smart' Bin! :P by ekeroyal(m): 7:25am On Nov 25, 2012 |
booqee: where dyu see ekaite??You can't be too fast dear, your copy and paste skills is now damn obvious  Check the post under your "so-called" yoke and you'd see the link between Ekaitte and Bin. What a pity! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: 'smart' Bin! :P by ekeroyal(m): 10:18pm On Nov 23, 2012 |
what business does Bin & Ekaitte have? Or are you saying Bin is a girl? |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Power Holding Company Of Nairaland {BILLS} Elite Members by ekeroyal(m): 10:11pm On Nov 23, 2012 |
booqee: ee go even be for one interesting and juicy section sef.Why do you misinterpret my sentence? |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Power Holding Company Of Nairaland {BILLS} Elite Members by ekeroyal(m): 8:56pm On Nov 19, 2012 |
Sorry Homar, please how old are you? No offence intended. |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 7:16am On Nov 18, 2012 |
There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Shelley is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Shelley surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Shelley. 'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...' he continues 'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.  1 Like |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 10:51pm On Nov 16, 2012 |
A man was having problems with premature eja.culation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to eja-culate, try startling yourself.” That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife. At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to eja.culate and fired the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, “How did it go?” The man answered, “Not that well. When I fired the pistol, my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air.” |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 6:46pm On Nov 13, 2012 |
FUN TIME (laugh with caution) ============================= Always check your dictionary well...... 'Good-Morning Doc,' Musa says. 'I want to be Castrated.' 'What on Earth for?' asks the Doctor in amazement. 'I...... It's something I'v been thinking about for a longtime & I want to have it done,' he replies. 'But have you thought it through properly?' asks the Doctor. 'It's a very serious operation and once it's done,there's no going back.It will change your Life forever!' 'I'm aware of that & you're not going to change my mind,so either you book me in to be Castrated or I'll simply go to another Doctor.' 'Well,Ok,'says the Doctor, 'But it's against my better Judgement!' So he had his operation and the next day, he is up & walking very slowly, legs apart down the Hospital Corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him, is another patient walking in exactly the same manner. 'Hi there?' Musa says, 'It looks as if you've just had the same operation as mine!' 'Well, ' said the patient, 'I finally decided after 37 years of Life that I'd like to be Circumcised.' He stared at him in horror and screamed,,,,,,,, 'SHIT,THAT'S THE WORD!' AH! I made a mistake! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Power Holding Company Of Nairaland {BILLS} Elite Members by ekeroyal(m): 10:25pm On Nov 09, 2012 |
Homar: HERE ARE THE BILLS OWED BY MEMBERS OF THE JOKES SECTION . PAY UP OR BE DISCONNECTED . Bin gbagbo = 55,000,000 naira . . . . . . Buminoguns = 86,000,000 naira . . . . . . Seun . . . . . Na police we go use come arrest you cause your bill don turn to infinity . . . . . . Booqee . . . . . . 5,000 (but you can settle in kind , your two booobies can clear your debt if only you allow me . . . . ) lagusta = you will be disconnected permanently cause we all know you cant afford the bills . . . . Mugulo or mogulo . . . . 41,000,000 . Prettyebony 12,000 (you can also pay in kind ) switcgirl = 9,000 (you can also pay in kind too ) . Larride = 222,000,000 (we don send firing squad to get you down thief ole) vicky = 60,000 (proper nyashing can clear your debt) . Vivly = 105,000 (one night round with suto will solve your bill problem) . Dani1luv = 150,000,000 (i can see |
| Jokes Etc › Re: "SUPER BAR". . .offtopic. . barjoint. . .NITECLUB!! by ekeroyal(m): 10:18pm On Nov 09, 2012 |
Am tired of something called D.R.A.M.A and if you don't know what that means. Well this is what it means.(D)umbass (R)etards (A)skinq for (M)ore (A)ttention..People who create drama are either: Jealous or Unhappy with themselves...Recipe for drama: 1 cup of gossip. 1/4 cup of rumors. And a teaspoon of jealousy. cc: BG |
| Jokes Etc › Re: "SUPER BAR". . .offtopic. . barjoint. . .NITECLUB!! by ekeroyal(m): 6:54am On Nov 05, 2012 |
bin gbagbo: choi!, no wonder pant no dey gree you... mr bigpeni$Wiener=BG |
| Jokes Etc › Re: "SUPER BAR". . .offtopic. . barjoint. . .NITECLUB!! by ekeroyal(m): 11:53pm On Nov 04, 2012 |
I was in bed with a blind girl the other night(I mean before my marriage) and she said that I had the biggest peni$ she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." |
| Jokes Etc › Super Sunday 7th Edition(10 Commandments Of Marriage) by ekeroyal(op): 11:34pm On Nov 04, 2012 |
Commandment 1 Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning. Commandment 2 If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep. Commandment 3 Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand! Commandment 4 Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen. Commandment 5 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is. Commandment 6 Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. Commandment 7 Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Commandment 8 Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife. Commandment 9 Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste. Commandment 10 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. |
| Literature › Re: Strong Words From The Comdt by ekeroyal(op): 3:38pm On Oct 29, 2012 |
"When you don't know what to do, you should endeavour to know what to do, because failure to know what to do could lead you into a ditch full of shit, reason: it could be the only thing you may know at that point in time." ~Comdt Эke Royaℓ™ |
| Romance › Re: Why We Love To Double Date Women...... by ekeroyal(m): 8:16pm On Oct 28, 2012 |
Omen100: Hmm, this is a difficult one because there are no honest reasons to "why" men double date, like me, not only that I double dated, I even triple dates.Pls a copy of this and similar can get a pregnant woman into labour! 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Why We Love To Double Date Women...... by ekeroyal(m): 4:20pm On Oct 28, 2012 |
gree-die:Are you a man? sage_:https://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing025.gifogini32:When do I get a simplified version of your comment? |
| Nairaland General › Re: What Was Ur Childhood Dream?? by ekeroyal(m): 4:09pm On Oct 28, 2012 |
My childhood dream is that I never dreamed as a child no matter how I tried. Oops, did I mess things up?  |
| Jokes Etc › Re: NPJC ........capable Of Doing This? by ekeroyal(m): 3:57pm On Oct 28, 2012 |
MOGUL.O: |
| Jokes Etc › Re: JOKES SECTION CONTEST: Who Is Funny?? by ekeroyal(m): 3:11pm On Oct 28, 2012 |
SO this shit is still on? Ok here's one for your ribs this Sunday Evening. If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes wet and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. the years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! after years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. he said, "honey you were right, all these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you". "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in." The Wife fainted!! Happy Eid-El-Kabir people 1 Like |
| Jokes Etc › Re: [:PHCN:] Power Holding Company Of Nairaland. by ekeroyal(m): 11:21pm On Oct 21, 2012 |
Homar: My fellow nairalanders under the region of jokes section we the leading party of this jokes section NJPC are recruiting employees to join the PHCN (power holding company of nairaland) we took over from PHCn (power holding company of nigeria) because of their lack of proper management cause they had a madman as the manager->BG . Now we need employees who are qualified in the following areas . . . . Those who are expects in collecting bribe . . . . Those who can not differentiate the positive and negative of current . . . . Those who can carry wires and also drive a van . . . . A financial secretary who is not a con . . . . A treasurer that is trustworthy . . . . An assistant manager . . . . And the most important position - the general manager . Those who do not do well in the job will be removed by the ceo's of the company Homar . Suto and |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Bin Must Go . by ekeroyal(m): 9:39pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
Homar: my fellow esteemed members of the yokes section of nairaland ( pardon my grammatical blunders ) it has come to my notice that bin crapbo aka the madman is turning our beloved yoke section into a place of nuisance . He sees himself as the head of the yokes section not without minding our useless mods (abeg dani no ban me na joke o ) i can still remember as of last few years when studio cfr . Jackpot . Victor . And me ofcourse (that was until i moved to romance section but still took my NJPC with me anywhere i go ) Even dani was ruling the section he was giving usPls what's mouth watering? |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 9:08pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
lancey: nice work broThanks bro  |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 5:45pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!". 1 Like |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Drop Jokes Breaking News Here!!!!! by ekeroyal(m): 10:35pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
| Literature › Re: Strong Words From The Comdt by ekeroyal(op): 10:21pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
"It is your decision to be stupid, your problem, you've got no right to blame even the person who suggested it to you. Pull up your socks and face the music" ~Comdt Эke Royaℓ™ |
