Ekeroyal's Posts

Nairaland Forum › Ekeroyal's Profile › Ekeroyal's Posts

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (of 44 pages)

Literature › Re: Strong Words From The Comdt by ekeroyal(op): 2:33pm On Oct 12, 2012

"When you get to a point where you can no longer trust your allies, your enemies could be your best bet."
~Comdt Эke Royaℓ™

Jokes Etc › Re: Fall Noni by ekeroyal(m): 2:02pm On Oct 12, 2012

Fasterboy: eemmm....gud yoke 4rm a bush gal. Dear booqee, hw is ur hunter-hubby? Heard u guyz jst relocated to that fine hut. I'm ~~surprise~~(how to dictate bush people) hw u manage to get network coverage in dat bush.

Jokes Etc › Re: JOKES SECTION CONTEST: Who Is Funny?? by ekeroyal(m): 6:57am On Oct 12, 2012

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, it was like this", said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her
ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the
cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was
my wife's golf ball stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
...
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!"

Jokes Etc › Re: Fall Noni by ekeroyal(m): 7:11pm On Oct 10, 2012

https://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing025.gif

Jokes Etc › Re: JOKES SECTION CONTEST: Who Is Funny?? by ekeroyal(m): 5:41pm On Oct 10, 2012

Valiantvaliant: ^^^ presido where you dey go? Come defend ya title.
.
.
.
A family in Nigeria was
puzzled when the coffin of
their dead mother arrived
from the USA. It had been
sent by their sister.
The tiny corpse was so
tightly squeezed inside the
coffin that their mother's
face was practically touching
the glass cover.
When they opened the coffin,
they found a letter from their
sister pinned to their
mother's chest, which read:
Dearest brothers and sisters,
I am sending you our
mother's remains for burial
there in Lagos.
Sorry I couldn't come along
as the expenses were so
high. You will find inside the
coffin, under Mama's body,
12 cans of Libby's corned
beef and 12 cans of
Luncheon Meat. Just divide it
among yourselves.
On Mama's feet is a brand-
new pair of Reeboks (size
for Junior. There are four
pairs of Reeboks under
Mama's head for Tunde's
sons. Mama is wearing six
Ralph Lauren T-shirts - one is
for Omo, the other for Roy
and the rest are for my
nephews.
Mama is also wearing one
dozen Wonder Bra ( your
favourite), just divide it
among yourselves.
The 2 dozen Victoria's Secret
panties that Mama is
wearing should be
distributed among my nieces
and cousins. Mama is also
wearing eight Docker pants -
Ikeje, please get one for
yourself and the rest are for
the boys. The Swiss watch
you asked for is on Mama's
left wrist, please get it.
Auntie Ronke, Mama is
wearing what you asked for
- earrings, ring and necklace
- just please get them. Also,
the six pairs of Channel
stockings that Mama is
wearing must be divided
among the teen-age girls
there. I hope they like the
colour.
Your loving sister,
Bukky
P.S. Please take care of
finding a dress for Mama for
her burial.

Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 1:31pm On Oct 10, 2012

Don't tell me you don't know the one and only mad man of this section.

Celebrities › Re: Who Would U Kiss, Hug Or Slap?? by ekeroyal(m): 12:17pm On Oct 05, 2012

I'll kiss the OP huh

and hug the OP undecided

Jokes Etc › Re: V.i.a.g.r.a For Bin by ekeroyal(op): 12:11pm On Oct 05, 2012

GHOST FIGHT

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his system extremely upset.
Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom he decided the latest was another and stayed put. Unfortunately for
him, this wasn't a false alarm and he soiled his bed linens terribly. He was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. BG happens to be
having a stroll after having viagra dissolved in dry gin and was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and
swinging his arms wildly(as though hitting someone), which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As BG
stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked,
"What the hell was that all about?"
Still staring down, BG replied: "I think I just beat the $hit out of a ghost!"

https://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-shocked003.gif

Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 12:00pm On Oct 05, 2012

^^hi pretty am good and hope you are too. Have been busy taking care of BG since he went haywire. But signals reaching me from yaba left shows he's recovering.

Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 11:39am On Oct 05, 2012

A man went to the doctor complaining that every time he spoke, he farted. "You must (FFFaaaart....) help me, Doc.
Its extremely (whwhwhiiiiffffle...) embarrassing. The only (Phhheeeeeeooooowwww....) saving grace is that the farts don't
(sssssphphrrrrrroophphphphphph....) smell."

"Hmm!" said the doctor, "I'll have to send you to a specialist."

"Will that be a gastro-enterologist (Faaaaaaart) or a surgeon?" said the patient.

"Neither," said the doctor. "I'm sending you to an Ear, Nose & Throat Specialist. If you think those farts don't smell,
then you've got something wrong with your nose ! !"

https://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-fart001.gif

Jokes Etc › Re: JOKES SECTION CONTEST: Who Is Funny?? by ekeroyal(m): 11:34am On Oct 05, 2012

Let me do this one

A mathematics teacher enters the class and writes the following on the board
"two men did a job in 3 days, how many days would the same job take 6 men of the same strength?"

A student quickly raised his hand and responds "sir, if 2 men can do the job in 3 days then no need
of using 6 men. It is better they go and look for job somewhere else. Because if they all do the job
the money will not be enough for them" tongue

https://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-dance006.gif

5 Likes

Jokes Etc › Re: JOKES SECTION CONTEST: Who Is Funny?? by ekeroyal(m): 8:36pm On Oct 04, 2012

I don't understand what's going on here. DVD ON or OFF what's this?

2 Likes

Jokes Etc › Re: Nigeria @ 52 By Hon. Patrick by ekeroyal(m): 9:57pm On Oct 03, 2012

Bunmi's case is out of legs because it's been out of hands long time ago. Next page please embarassed

Jokes Etc › Re: Bin Gbagbo's Memorial Hospital by ekeroyal(op): 6:49am On Oct 03, 2012

The October 1, 2012 discussion at mental department of the BG memorial hospital

A sadist(Donk*****), a masochist(Dvdon), a murderer(Bunmi), a necrophile(Bin Gbagbo), a zoophile(Homar) and a pyromaniac(Mikuz) are all sitting on a bench at the mental corner of BG memorial hospital, bored out of their minds.
"How about having s.ex with a cat?" asked Homar.
"Let's have se.x with the cat and then torture it" says Donk*****.
"Let's have se.x with the cat, torture it and then kill it" shouted Bunmi.
"Let's have se.x with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again" said BG.
"Let's have se.x with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it." said Mikuz shocked

.
Silence fell... then everyone turned to Dvdon and asked:
"So, what's it gonna be?"
To which he replied, "Meow!"

Jokes Etc › Re: Bin Gbagbo's Memorial Hospital by ekeroyal(op): 6:39am On Oct 03, 2012

larride: Na you sabi

Thanks

Jokes Etc › Re: Nigeria @ 52 By Hon. Patrick by ekeroyal(m): 10:06pm On Oct 02, 2012

I have been looking for a place to give my shout out to my loved ones, it's a shame nobody created anything close to that not even the self acclaimed jokes president bg.

Anyways I want to send my shout out to mam Abubakar Shekau and other notable members of boko haram. Happy independence to them.

Jokes Etc › Re: Super Sunday 6th Edition(ft. Bingo Gbagbo) by ekeroyal(op): 4:45pm On Oct 02, 2012

dvdon: Ehhm 9ce joke but pls next tym ft some one encouraging instead of BG ok am there others r there 2.

Ok bro, noted.

@Boo ==>thanks

hey Ruqaya, did you go for amnesty program? undecided

You've been more than scarce.

Jokes Etc › Re: Super Sunday 6th Edition(ft. Bingo Gbagbo) by ekeroyal(op): 9:53pm On Sep 30, 2012

sutoboy: where have you been?

Have been around bro, just watching the turn of events. Hope you're ok.

Jokes Etc › Re: Super Sunday 6th Edition(ft. Bingo Gbagbo) by ekeroyal(op): 2:05pm On Sep 30, 2012

^^thanks
@bg how's your sunday going? Hope you said your Psalm 23 today.

Jokes Etc › Super Sunday 6th Edition(ft. Bingo Gbagbo) by ekeroyal(op): 3:17pm On Sep 23, 2012

welcome to Nairaland Entertainment news, it's the super Sunday edition & as always, whenever "he's" featured, you can be sure of what to get.

This week he's caught in the church reciting the famous Psalm 23, hear him;

Palm wine is my lifeline, I shall not doubt.
It makes me to lie down in dirty places.
It leads me beside still gutters, it nourishes my soul.
Even though I finished 12 bottles,
I fear no Police or Army, for the bartender prepares the table full of palmwine before me in the presence of Homar, and anoints me in the pool of peppersoup.
Surely stockfish & kanda will follow me, all the days of my life. And I shall dwell in Ojuelegba forever & ever,
Amen!

As more often than non -the pastor fainted.

Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 6:13pm On Sep 11, 2012

A boy went out to have cannabis with his friends in a hidden area, after about two hours they got a signal that Police was around. His friends signaled him to join them in escaping, at that point he began asking 'where are my legs?'

Jokes Etc › Re: Paralympics (BG ) by ekeroyal(m): 10:30pm On Sep 10, 2012

@OP, am sure you don't even have a prick. Just doing shit till my wife sees this dumb post from a modachud shithead.

cheesy

Jokes Etc › Re: You Must Read Dis! (wetin Concern Dem?) by ekeroyal(m): 8:56pm On Sep 09, 2012

what concerns dumb man with hissing/sighing?

what concerns a baby with condom?

what concerns bleaching cream with Gordons?

Jokes Etc › Re: Laugh 'agege Laff' The Royal Way by ekeroyal(op): 11:11pm On Sep 07, 2012

At an art exhibition two women were staring at a painting entitled, "Home for Lunch".

The painting was of three very naked, and very black men, sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black joysticks, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis. The two women were standing there, staring at the picture, scratching their heads and trying to figure this out. The artist walked by and noticed the women's confusion. "Can I help you with this painting?" he asked.

"Well, yes" said the one woman. "We were curious about the picture of the black men on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?"

"Oh," said the artist. "I'm afraid you've misunderstood the painting. The three men are not African-Americans, they're coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went "Home for Lunch."

Jokes Etc › Re: What Do You Think Is The Tribe/nationality/gender/age Of The Poster Above You?? by ekeroyal(m): 11:49am On Sep 06, 2012

~vicky~:
CLINIC?

carrot get tree....chai Nairaland

Ask Bin, he knows better.

Jokes Etc › Re: Projan Boxing Promotions Presents. . .a Night Of "No Mercy" by ekeroyal(m): 8:44am On Sep 05, 2012

bin gbagbo: the fee is 5000 naira for men and free for the ladies

though it will be live on HBO, ESPN, CANAL+, SUPERSPORTS 9, NTA etc

. . .but the winner of the born2fuck vs bunmioguns will face ekeroyal on september 11

Wiener! Do u fix a match for a hall of famer? DustBin wants to get someone killed. The Police shld pls take note.

Jokes Etc › Re: V.i.a.g.r.a For Bin by ekeroyal(op): 1:18am On Aug 31, 2012

The similarity between sperm and Gbabgos?

Answer: Only one in a million is useful.

Additionally, Bin isn't of that number.

Reason: Viagra is the baby maker.

Jokes Etc › Re: What Do You Think Is The Tribe/nationality/gender/age Of The Poster Above You?? by ekeroyal(m): 12:32am On Aug 31, 2012

bunmioguns: .
.
.
.Name: BIN GBagbo

Nationality: Niger Republic

Tribe: Nill

Gender: Hermaphrodite

Age: 75

Marital status: HE-GOAT

Number of Kids: Unknown

Occupation: Dr of Jokes

Falls from carrot tree cheesy

Jokes Etc › Re: Projan Boxing Promotions Presents. . .a Night Of "No Mercy" by ekeroyal(m): 12:11am On Aug 31, 2012

Bin, is this fight going to be done with knuckles or sth? And how much is the gate fee?

Jokes Etc › Re: You Know It’s Your Funeral If? by ekeroyal(m): 10:48pm On Aug 25, 2012

~vicky~:
One lady sent me N500 airtime & she shared a testimony d following day. Another sent me N1000 airtime and a man proposed 2 her dat week. Just last week, one man sent me N1,500 airtime & today he has gotten American visa & a job with an oil firm. You may be d next 2 share ur testimony. Send urs now cos MIRACLES STILL HAPPEN

@ Vicky, this's O.P. Why you? embarassed

Jokes Etc › Re: Madt Kids! Lol by ekeroyal(m): 10:49pm On Aug 24, 2012

so the question is.....will you be

tongue

Bunmi's b.i.t.c.h?

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 (of 44 pages)