₦airaland Forum

Always Sapele with this kind bad news for Delta state. Sapele people wetin we do una sef abeg?

Mynd44:
I have heard Nigerians use "bride Price" and "Dowry" interchangeably and they seem to think they are the same. People just assume the bride price is the dowry or that they mean the same thing but this is a wrong assumption.

I knew this in Social Studies when I was in Primary 5 and it shocks me when people who I think went to school around the same time (not the current era where I don't understand the curriculum) make the same mistake. Perhaps people just think because they are both possessions and gifts exchanged around the time of a wedding they mean the same but nah. They are very distinct things.

So here is the major difference



From the definition above

1. Bride Price is given to the family of the bride by the groom and/or his family and this is mostly set by the Bride's Family.

2. Dowry is the property or money given to the bride by her family when she marries and she takes these things to her marital home.

In some cultures, Dowries cannot be sold by the couple as it is wealth that passes through only the female line so only the bride's daughter can inherit them. Thats why you see where some families have jewelry that their great grandmother used and a female descendant still wears it. It can even be shares of a company etc.

There has been cases in India and Northern Nigeria called "Dowry theft" in these cases, they grooms family (mostly committed by the groom's family) tries to convert the properties of the bride and steal them. I know India had to pass legislation against it. Sometimes, the husband himself tries to steal these possessions.

Note also that in a divorce, the husband cannot lay claim to the dowry as these are personal gifts and are mostly acquired before marriage so are outside the purview of shared items.

In Nigeria, dowries can include, Kitchenware, livestock, land, jewelry and in some parts of the north, the father actually buys furniture.

Note that Dowry is not wedding gifts given to the couple. These are gifts for the two of them.

I think this is a dictionary definition that may not be in tandem with the reality of the situations in the areas mentioned. Let’s take away the dictionary definition and look at it the way it is.

It is right to term dowry and bride price as they same, as they are rightly the same in our country. There is no mistake.

How do you pronounce dowry in your own language to start with? How do you refer to it in your own language? If you go around all the ethnicities in Nigeria and Africa, you will get a common “head money” when interpreted to English. That is money paid as the culture, tradition or religious belief holds as the foundation for a proper marriage.

In the typical African society, women do not pay this “head money” to their husbands or husbands families. It is not the practice and borders around the abominable for such to happen. The man pays the price and offers all the gifts that go along with it.

The northern part of our country goes ahead with sending the wife off to her husband’s house with the furniture and items needed to live in the house. That’s why you find the ladies with bed, chairs, cooking utensils, food and other items to build the home. In a lot of cases the ladies, with no space in their husband’s apartment, abandon the properties in their parent’s homes. For our Muslim brethren, it is rooted in the religion, with the groom’s family paying the price in cash, cows and camels, expensive jewelry, etc. The same for Christian brethren in the north, where dowries are paid according to the tradition of the people and other things follow.

It is the same in other cultures in Nigeria, Yoruba, Itsekiri, Efiks, Igbos, Ishan, Benin, etc, who give gifts like cars, houses and household properties to their daughters, as token of their love and for their comfort when they go to the houses of their husbands. It is not termed “dowry”, but “sending her to her husband’s house”.

The Indians have the unique case where the women pay the same dowry to the men. That’s why in India, you find many families advertising their daughters on pages of newspapers for possible suitors. Initially acts of generosity, these traditions have evolved into compulsory and often abusive expectations, causing immense suffering for many women. Hindu customs from long ago are the source of the dowry system. As part of the marriage ceremony, the bride's father presents gifts to the groom's family in an old custom known as "Kanyadan," which literally translates to "the giving away of a virgin daughter", "Stridhan," which translates to "women's wealth," describes the presents presented to the bride with the intention of securing her financial future. These optional customs eventually became required obligations, which paved the way for marriage's commercialization. Dowry payments have become issues of threats and deaths in India. The groom gives nothing in return. Why not call it bridegroom price which is the opposite? The Hindus have a unique case and system that has even been challenged in the courts.

I think this is a very good topic by OP and such issues should be discussed here for better understanding for all.

Thanks to MYND44.

Kajaard:
This is a new year. Flee from hate and jealousy to avoid stagnation in your life.

This your post is extremely pathetic.

Pathetic because it was the honest truth. Not recognizing the truth is very hypocritical. Where is the “hate and jealousy”. If you did not clearly read through the lines and understand the sincerity in my initial comment, then you wallow in self deception. Do you not see that your comment reveals your limitations and stagnation. Take off those myopic tribal lenses that you wear and view Nigeria as one nation.
Wake up this year and rebuke that reckless tribalistic behavior.

allthingsgood:
A Nigerian icon visited his fatherland and that is what is paining U. Tufiakwa! If this isn't witchcraft I don't know what this is.

Olodo.

Now you call him a Nigerian icon. Can you not see that you are a confused fellow?

If you regard him as a Nigerian icon, why not let all Nigerians recognise him for who he is and celebrate him as a Nigerian that he is. Why tribalise it when you know that as a Nigerian, he should be celebrated by all irrespective of tribe and religion? If you do not recognize your tribalistic behavior as witchcraft, what else can you ever recognize?

See your kolanut head like tufiakwa.

allthingsgood:
Why are U always bitter You guys need help.

Where is the bitterness? Or is English so hard for you to understand? You need help truly.

Strictlygreen:
Omo'lomo. SW is safe for our industrious sons and daughters to come visit and pay homages to whom it is due. Starboy Saka was in Ibadan kicking up dusts on the street. AJ is trotting between Lagos and Ogun without fear of the UGM Kidnappers. Adesanya was in town.
God bless SW
God bless PBAT
God bless Nigeria.

And there you are hailing him as Mr. Nobody that you are. Rather than regret the tragedy of killing that’s befallen the entire region, you are busy mocking some, as if yours is free from the daily ritual killings and kidnappings. What a shame.

A little thinking about your own life should tell you that hard work brought Joshua to this level and not his tribe or religion. UGM or ritual killers have no business with him because he lives in a country made very safe by the leaders. He has attained stardom because that same country provided the platform to achieve his dream. Have your leaders made your country safe to reside and travel?

Today he can see the President because he has washed his hands and can eat at the table with elders. At your age he was not selling tribal stories, but working hard and boxing his way to stardom. At your age he was made.

Rather than screaming in this manner on social media pages, take your time to market yourself. Work hard so that you can at least begin to meet local government chairmen and councillors.

FearlessYoruba:
Ok Mr OSU Wawa jew rat

Slave. Maybe you need to be told or you can find out by yourself that you are from a generation of slaves.
Even dirty gutter rats are better off than you stinking fellow.

vibratingpenis:
They are all thieves

And you that called them thieves should be addressed as who? Dem say na thief dey know thief, remember?

Letmecum:
oga asked yourself. India rejected there religion and took there technology. You cannot brainwashed everyone to follow your blind path. Try go your heaven quick what are you still doing here. Abi na private jet u won take go your heaven.

Yet the same Indians stand on queues, sell their properties, pray in their shrines to travel to the lands where they rejected their religion and accepted their technology, to live better lives. The present VP of the USA has Indian roots. The last PM of the UK was Indian. No be juju be that? Yet the Indians have uncountable amount of churches and mosques in their country. Even when the Indians practice their beliefs, how many of them use fellow humans for money making rituals? Is that what your ancestors taught you? How many use charms to cause calamity to befall others under one guise or the other? Having accepted their technology, the Indians have bettered their societies. Tell me how the so called ancestors have made societies better here.

Now can you not see that you are still in the Stone Age? I guess you need that private jet to visit your ancestors and tell them that life has moved beyond what they taught you.

FearlessYoruba:
Ok Mr OSU Wawa jew rat

Slave. Maybe you need to be told or you can find out by yourself that you are from a generation of slaves.
Even dirty gutter rats are better off than you.

femtex007:
What could be the reason why this guy wasted these innocent souls now?
Is it that he's depressed or what
I find it hard to understand these white guys oh

The killer’s name is SHAMSUD DIN JABAR.
Now put the rest together and you must agree with Trump and Netanyahu.

FearlessYoruba:
Ok Mr OSU Wawa jew rat

Slave. Maybe you need to be told or you can find out by yourself that you are from a generation of slaves.
Even dirty gutter rats are better off than you.

Letmecum:
We where practicing our own tradition. Until western brought there useless religion to make us disbelief our ancestors. Thank God I'm not blinded by there religion.

You cannot say that you do not eat beans, yet you eat akara or moi moi.

Why reject their religion and then accept their technology? Why not ask your ancestors to make mobile phones or tvs for you? Abi your ancestors no for do anything?

Take off your boxers, trousers, shirts and shoes and wear leaves all over you.

If you are not blinded by their religion, why are you blinded by their products? You sure say you know wetin you talk?

God1000:
Such unspeakable abomination, love doesn't exist in some families

No better words to find than your my brother.
It is so despicable. His own mother? Aided by his own friend to throw his own mother into the well?
Absolutely it is abominable and the boy must not be allowed to get away.

saddler:
Sorry i am not religious. Its my opinion. If you dont like it, you move to the next comment

It is your opinion. You made it in the social media space. It is public. Expect reactions from such sensitive comments.

Now you can move on too.

FearlessYoruba:
Ok Mr OSU Wawa jew rat

Look at you.
Maybe you need to be told or you can find out by yourself that you are from a generation of slaves.
Even rats are better off than you.

Frankie6835:
politics is a business. gov fubara can't kill his marketer who brought him to limelight. why not step down because we in rivers state voted for Labour party not pdp. if you want the right thing, start by stepping down for Labour party candidate, not ranting.......

It is true that Fubara cannot kill his mentor, but is it true that his mentor must make life hard for him?

So far all the things have gone beyond that stage. It is time for LP and PDP (Fubara’s supporters), to put their houses in order and prepare for 2027.

If you take a close look, you’ll find Wike working hard to control PDP in Rivers state. The same Wike appears to have been handed APC rivers on a platter, with Amaechi on the sidelines and possibly supporting Atiku.

Wike in 2027 will bring up a fresh candidate in PDP, support the APC candidate and with good finance, attempt to stop Fubara’s reelection. It is up to Fubara to place his feet on the ground at the PDP national level and then gain inroads into APC and possibly LP to return in 2027. He needs the remnants of the PDP Rivers big men and aggrieved APC members to achieve that.

As for LP, a strong and consistent candidate must come up now and begin to make his/her way. Rivers state is there for grabs, with both APC and PDP bracing up for internal election troubling lawsuits.

Do not forget that at the twilight of his administration, Wike employed over two hundred thousand SAs. The story out then was that they were supposed to provide whoever he supported with at least two hundred thousand votes and the rest from citizens. Violence was widespread and the rest as they say, became history. Fubara may employ such Wike strategy if it ever truly worked.

FearlessYoruba:
Okay me OSU Wawa jew rat

Look at you.
Maybe you need to be told or you can find out by yourself that you are from a generation of slaves.
Even rats are better off than you.

saddler:
Its my opinion and i have freedom to express it.

You should be more concerned about your religious brothers and sisters who use loud speakers to disturb neighborhoods, market places and public peace.

And you are not concerned that noise pollution is not synonymous with members of my religious inclination only? What about those of your own religious inclination who mount speakers on roof tops to wake people from their sleep every morning at 4 am? What about those who keep entire neighborhoods troubled with music blaring from speakers from morning till night, in the name of selling their CDs? What about those who trouble the ears of passengers in buses everywhere selling their drugs? Are those not supposed to be of concern to you? Why play the ostrich?

Freedom of expression does not permit to you act or speak in extreme ways. That’s why you are told that even your freedom has a price. That’s why recently you have been warned that jail term awaits you if you insult public officials.

FearlessYoruba:
Ok Mr OSU Wawa jew rat

Look at you.
Maybe you need to be told or you can find out by yourself that you are from a generation of slaves.
Even rats are better off than you.

helinues:
In this case, some people want to take advantage of Turji's name to be doing their dirty work

Do you see why people call you terrible names daily?

So to you “some people want to take advantage of Turji’s name to be doing their dirty work”?

To you, people want to take advantage of the name of a known terrorist, kidnapper and killer? To you he is a very good person. To you Turji does the clean work, while others do the dirty job?

Where did APC pick you up from again please?

You reasoning is absolutely wierd.

It’s a new year. It’s our country. Let’s have a positive outlook and hopefully things will get better.

saddler:
Better in all ramifications since i stopped going to church and listening to their nonesense

Congratulations to you.

If you choose not to go to church or listen to your assumed nonsense (which fall within your personal rights), do you not think that you are infringing on
the rights of others as regards their beliefs and choices, by making such remarks.

If you think that your life is better not being member of a church, how have you assumed that the lives of others are not better attending religious organizations of their choices?

Our constitution guarantees freedom of association and movement. Are you aware of that?

saddler:
Gibberish.

Every year they release all these nonsense and gullible people believe them. At the end the lives of their worshippers gets worse.

How has your own life fared after all these years?

Certainly a year of victory for the children of God.

Atinuke12267:
I don't know why it's so hard for iggbos to do without crime.

It will be wrong for us to call all of them criminals.

Not all are criminals.

We still have at least 5% of them that do not indulge in crime so it will be unfair to label them criminals because of the remaining 95% indulging in crime

And I don’t know why it is so hard for your people to do without using fellow humans for get rich quick rituals. Dem take human sacrifice swear for una? Abi laziness no gree una do better thing for life?

FearlessYoruba:
They both leave Anambra to come and commit crime in Rivers state.

People like you are not called ode for nothing!

1.55 trillion budget? Niger state? Did I not read well? That’s fantastic.

Hopefully this governor can move the state a long way forward before his regime comes to an end. Hopefully also the next person after him can be also very passionate for good governance like him. His program on agriculture is very elaborate and hopefully, if insecurity is checkmated, the state can make its own contribution to the national food bank.

symbianDON:
Very weak shot fired. Seems Reno has finally met his match

Truly that was not just a weak shot fired, but a meaningless shot.

He met more than his match. I said it yesterday that Omokri bit more than he could chew, tackling El Rufai.

I also said Omokri should expect response not only from El Rufai, but from El Rufai’s son. Maybe he’s in the libraries making some researches on El Rufai and his family.

By the time they are through with him, he’ll understand that the “no response” that he gets from Peter Obi is a better option for him.

For now, he must prove to us that he’s not the alias Wendell Simlin, as mentioned to the whole world by El Rufai.

A man who could not read the budget paper that he presented to the state house of assembly?

A man who was teleguided throughout the campaign so that voters would not see his inability to read and understand English?

Wetin remain again?

Are we sure that he understood what it was all about?
Are we sure that he understands what the constitution is all about?

Abegggiii.

Olachase:
If no be country way no good

Wetin won carry me go Burundi

Anyway I'm happy to tell you guys that in three months time I will become a Burundian


Inside me and Atiku I no KW who lie pass

Abeg bros eh, na trek you go trek reach there? I get people wey wan follow you reach. Dem go carry pure water with garri Ijebu make hunger no come be issue for the journey.

EmperorCaesar:


Wickedness is a fulltime resident in SE Nigeria

RIP strong man. You shouldnt have returned to your village

I know tens of your people who have sworn not to travel to the East till Jesus comes

And beheading of fellow humans for money making purposes is a hobby and resident in your region. Have you quickly forgotten?

Have you forgotten that thousands have vowed never to visit your region in this life anymore?