₦airaland Forum

All of you saying Tonto lied about the bride price are not insiders to the matter. I have a friend who borrowed money from me in 2010 to go get married. Till today, I no see shishi. Of course, she gave the guy the money to present since she was heavily pregnant and felt she needed to cover her shame at the time. He also beat after she delivered and kept defrauding her. She lost a very stable job because of him.

I'm not defending Tonto though because she actually went too far by insulting the man and his mother online like that.

Ignore the haters and keep doing what you love. I think the main issue is with the fit of your clothes. Either you tailor them to fit you better or you bulk up to fill them.

He's not a German Shepherd at all.

You are right to give it a good thought before jumping in. There are other factors associated with marrying older men which may not immediately be evident while dating.

1. He may be buoyant now but how many more years of his working life are still available for him to cater to you.
2. What is his health condition now? Does he have underlying ailments like hypertension or diabetes that may soon prove health challenges? You might soon find yourself a nursemaid or worse, a young widow if he does not take proper care of himself.
3 What is his attitude to you? Given the age difference, he might be controlling and you would be in no position to express yourself properly as it might appear rude to "challenge" him. He should at least be your friend and hear your opinions before taking decisions.

A lot of younger guys are afraid of heavy responsibilities so they might not be ready for marriage. A young man can also die young too as they tend to take more risks such as drunk driving. The main advantage of marrying an older man is that he is usually already established in his business or career so he has more money to spend. He can, however, lose it in an instant in a bad business deal or an act of God. I was just talking to a friend who told me he lost his house to unforeseen structural damage at 55 after 20 yrs of being in the US and the insurance company wouldn't pay so he is basically restarting from the scratch.

Pray very well for God to show you if he is truly your husband. If you do go ahead, ensure you establish a business that can sustain you and your kids as well as life insurance policies and educational plans so your children would be well catered for in any case.

I wish you all the best.

That's the Nigerian system for you. After so many years of rigorous training, it is still a case of who you know to get a place.

I had a personal experience like this during my NYSC in the North. A woman was brought in labor to deliver her 9th baby. She and her husband were very poor. The man was a carpenter and she a petty trader (I think). The baby had hand prolapse meaning that, probably like this baby, the hand came out of the womb instead of the head first. This was Oct. 2005 and they could not afford N30000 for the CS she required. It was against the hospital policy (government) at the time to do free surgeries and despite my pleas, the head of the hospital at the time wouldn't budge. I couldn't at the time afford to pay because it was soon after the banking crisis and my money was mostly frozen. Even my monthly corpers and doctors salary at the time combined was not up to 30k. The woman laboured for 3days, the baby died in the womb and became infected. Subsequently, the mother developed a high fever and died. I have never seen a man cry so hard for anything before. It was just so heartbreaking and I honestly could not sleep for a full week after that.

The reason I am telling this story is because of the people rushing to judge the doctor for his 'quackery'. In medicine, we are taught that one mother's live is worth 20 unborn so the emphasis needs to be placed on saving her life first because of the other children she already has or might bear or even just care for in future. In a rural setting, if the baby was wrongly positioned and not moving, it might have been near impossible to hear a heartbeat. There are even cases of babies who have lost all heartbeat only to wake up several hours later in the morgue. Why not send for a scan, you say? Those are not readily available in rural setups and even if they are expensive to the common man and there may be a lengthy queue for the service which is time a woman in labor may not have.

Also, our people present late. They may even register for antenatal but for fear of the cost and stigma attached to a CS, they prefer to go to local midwives and religious homes where they will first exhaust all their money and the real quacks will complicate the situation before sending them to the hospital when it is too late. The reason these people seem successful is that without any intervention, 85% of deliveries will have on their own. It is only qualified people who can identify the 15% and try to prevent it.

Poverty might have had a part to play here too. Maybe they couldn't afford a CS. Do it on credit, you say? How many can you do without folding up your practice? It is common for people to come, beg the doctor to save life, promise to pay later then after the procedure, you are told there is no money. When the doctor decides to be merciful and let them go, a few days later, they will then throw a lavish naming ceremony as is customary.

The healthcare challenges in Nigeria are enormous but the few doctors who still practice here are really struggling to help with little or no infrastructure while the people don't help themselves. I cannot fault the doctor in this scenario at all because his action might actually be the only reason both mother and baby are still alive. It is sad the child lost an arm but it could have been much worse.

Please I need to replace the back casing for my popstar? Any ideas where to get it?

Hurlstarling:
I remember so vivid then how ecstatic I was in God's presence. Full of life and joy, in fact led praises in youth gatherings. So it becomes quite unbelievable how vast things have changed over the course of three years, and how well I personally have changed.

The beginning of this I cannot pinpoint. However, the causes I can suggest. Over the years I have become an active thinker with logic dominating most of my reasonings. These registered quite a lot of dissonance in what I used to belief and what reality presents as same it has helped in understanding the universe and God purpose for humanity, and what he is doing to achieve this despite the human race being unappreciative. Also, my not so interested in many things and zero emotional level could have also contributed to the lack of Joy in God's presence, since Joy is positively heightened emotion. This then stands not the problem: "My inability to make use of my gift."

As a thinker I do so well in the line of writing, so the gift of writing which is intellectual I exhibit without restraint despite my personality, in fact it favours it. My other gift which propels this piece is the gift of worship: I am a songwriter and singer.

Unable, is the verb that relates to this gift. Of course I try my best going to church despite my so restrained spectrum of interest. That wouldn't be a problem, the problem is the joy is not so much there: the need to be part of what they do. I see choristers sing and every time I wish I can be part of that, sing with them to the God of my fathers. The gift is there, I have written hundreds of songs, taught couples in the past, still write, just I can't exhibit the will to sing or teach them any longer. I am approaching zero level of interest in spiritual activities. Conflicting is I still love God having understand his plan for humanity. So the author is not an, and can never be an atheist. This is evident in my coming novel "A Loveline" (I will like you read it).


So, if anyone knows how, and how and well, well and good, efficient practical not spiritually placed steps to exercise this music skills of mine in God's presence as I expressly do here with my writing skills, I will be glad to see it shared.

I don't want it wasted.

-Hurlstarling.

it's extremely likely you're depressed. Sometimes stress, disillusionment with life or other factors are responsible. See a doctor.

Please WhatsApp me your current plans at 08136106556. Thank you.

AkinPhysicist:
Absolute rubbish: You are saying 1+1 =2 but 1-1 =2. You are deluded big time!

Did you even read what you wrote or just decide to rant?

FSMs:
Am sure you Have now Realize how Dumb and uneducated you are! Instead of Thanking your parent you are busy thanking one imaginary sky Daddy very un greatfull

Your level of education shows in your grammar and improper punctuation. Pity!

FSMs:

There parent slept together... It happens that their moms Got pregnant took them in her Womb for 9months.... Please can you remind me of how they we're created again? It's like i didn't get that part in Biology class!!

How would you? It's obviously beyond your understanding.

FSMs:
What of the Others that Died Should we Also Thank him? Or was it there Fault?

It is very sad that they died indeed but "In all things, give thanks". They didn't create themselves so it was only by His grace they made it that far.

TunezMediaTV:
Nollywood actor and filmmaker Ekere Nganga was among the survivors at the Reigners Church Uyo Building Collapse but sustained a fatal injury on his neck.

He's still alive so it's not fatal, please. Thank God for sparing his life.

OK. Thanks

Are the batteries used?

My personal experience in Kigali is what I have stated. My "persona" is the same one I have exhibited in several other countries I have been to without any similar issues. If your experience was better, simply say so but the fact remains Kigali doesn't compare in size or population with any major city in Nigeria. I know we have a lot to improve on locally and corruption has eaten deep here but showcasing Kigali city centre is like showing off just Banana island and it is not representative of the rest of the country.

MtuMsuper:
That is a rather harsh indictment if you ask me. I have been to Kigali on several occasions, and its my 2nd trip there in the last week of November 2013 that left the greatest impression on my mind. Arriving on a Friday bus from Nairobi, i checked into my hotel and settled in well. I was personally treated with alot of decorum and respect. I guess it was down to if you radiate a positive persona, it will be naturally reciprocated!! I think the airport is just about right for a country the size of Rwanda, and to their credit, they have a functional and well run national carrier, RwandAir.

The reason Rwanda is clean is many fold. For starters, they have banned the use of polyethylene bags, hence unsightly garbage heaps poisoned further with man made synthetics is a thing of the past. Secondly, and most importantly, it is the practice of community work whereby all able bodied citizens between the ages 18-65 are obliged to participate in cleaning up the area ,or participate in a community work in the rural parts. This practice is called "Umuganda" which is not compulsory for foreigners, but they are encouraged to do. I personally promptly went to work because the ethos of it sits very well with my own principles. I cut branches of a tree that were overhanging, all the time side by side with a university professor!! Everyone is there, men and women, educated and uneducated, soldiers and civilian. Even the president participates. Afterwards, I was invited to the house of a local engineer for a taste of traditional Rwandan cuisine, which i enjoyed very much as it is virtually identical to my own back home in Kenya.
I found this link to explain Umuganda further.
http://www.rwandapedia.rw/explore/umuganda/images/umuganda-kicukiro-district-24-november-2012

Please do you have HP pavilion G4 casing?

Sorry to say Kigali is incomparable to Lagos. It is just the city centre which is not much larger than Balogun area that is so fine. I was able to walk round the entire area in two afternoons. The exteriors in Kigali though neat are very rustic and their international airport is not as fancy as any of our local airports. The people are also very racist and disrespectful. A perfume was stolen from my luggage while in their care. It's not a place I would ever willing visit again.

The simple way to do this in case of any of you do run across this again is to add the 1st and last digit i.e. 1 + 64 = 65. Then 64 divided by 2 = 32. Your answer is 65 multiplied by 32 = 2080.

I had a 21 yr old in my class in Medilag.

I just want to give @luvinhubby a big thumbs up. He was a lifesaver when I had my CRV. I discovered him here after mechanics had dealt with me. He and his boy ThankGod were ever willing to assist me with parts and repairs at very reasonable prices. Well done, Uncle Rowland.

Please can you deliver to Alausa, Ikeja?

Awesome!

Sorry, my first job as a teenager was a nursery school teacher for about 30 kids. I know they can be very active but there is no excuse. The teacher should be jailed. How did she let him out of her sight for so long? Why couldn't she give him some water? He must have been extremely thirsty to go outside and look for it. The proprietor is also culpable but the child was primarily the teacher's responsibility.

rosety:
Bromeliads are wonderful indoor plants. There is a whole bunch of them in the family from the ones you have in the picture to ornamental pineapples, tilandsia and air plants. The airplants are the wierdest ones as they get all their nutrients from the air (they have no roots). Their flowers are very long lasting and colourful. Looks like plastic. Unfortunately I don't have any flowering bromeliads in stock right now and I am typing this post at a ridiculously early hour for me. As soon as I can I'll post some pictures.

Next to anthuriums, they are my favourite plant

Please do you have any now? I learnt they are excellent indoor air purifiers.

OP, funny. "Totota" ke? Se asewo ni? Change it back to "Toyota", I beg.

Was it bought in Nigeria? Is it still under warranty?

MrCork:
u clearly goin to hell cozz R A antichrist (READ YOR LAST POST..U ADMITTED IT)....and if u don't change yor atitide..U WILL NEVER FIND MAN ON NAIRALAND!!;(real talk)

You're just frustrated and looking for someone to stoop to your level. I don't have time for people like you and can only pray God has mercy on you.

MrCork:
[color=#000099]^^^^another. Antichrist!!(((SHAME))[/colokr]

Can you imagine? Something is wrong with you. You who are casting labels are the one most likely to have a specially prepared chamber waiting for you in the pit of hell. You better pluck the log from your own eye first. Hypocrite!