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Traditional wedding is at the BRIDE'S HOME, because that is where you pay your DOWRY.Abi you no wan submit your DOWRY?

After the traditional, u fit carry your wife to your MAMA for WHITE/CHURCH WEDDING. If you like u fit skip the CHURCH WEDDING.

But you must do the Traditional wedding is at the BRIDE'S HOME. IT IS A RESPECT TO YOUR WIFE'S FAMILY.

Kobojunkie:
Abegi , make falana go siddon make we hear word o'jare! im no even say make him sue the federal government for years of neglect of our schools, na extra two week holiday be the ILLEGAL thing wey the government don do our education system. abegi!

@Missy85

Its people like you guys that allow our leaders to take us for a ride.

Free and fair election is not a function of PUBLIC HOLIDAYS but[b] GOOD AND SINCERE GOVERNMENT[/b].

Falana carry go we are behind you.

Bonniefran:
Restitution as you mentioned is not clear enough, we do know that the man in question has children from both wives and they have been living happily and in quote 'To the Glory of God'. Don't tell me that your RESTITUTION would mean to send away the second wife because those her children cannot return back to the womb: These children are part of the man already and so why would you choose to separate them and their parents in the name of church. Did God asked you to separate them? Hmmmmmm!!!

Well this is not a religious forum so i won't go into the RESTITUTION stuff.

But my point is that one wife rule, apply's to all BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN and not Christian leaders only.

chiteny:
Emmatok pls understand me. I did not say that born again christians should marry more than one wife {a topic on its own}. i only started by saying a man who is married to more than one wife. Maybe he was polygamous before being a "born again", i don't know. All i am saying is that such men should not be discriminated against. Bible only clearly states that they would not take up leadership position in the church . Period.

Can you please show me that part of the bible that says ONLY CHRISTIAN LEADERS SHOULD MARRY ONE WIFE.

A Christan is Christian in leadership or not. Their is no separate HEAVEN for a leader or member.

Even if he was polygamous before been "born again" there is a room for RESTITUTION

chiteny:
Condemning the man because he has two wives is bad and unbiblical. The only restriction is holding a leadership positioin in the church. He is not expected to hold any leadership position in the church since he is married to two wives. But he can attend the church, pay tithes and offering and what so ever he wants to do freely without any discremination.

I disagree with you on this issue. It is un-biblical for a BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN to marry two wifes. In Leadership position or not.

chaircover:
Yes and No

Men - Some men will be irresponsible regardless. They were born, reared and will live an irresponsible life till they die.

Women -   and expectations in return for peanuts from a man so he ends up thinking that he is fly.

@ chaircover

WHY ARE YOU SO BIASED .

Some women do not have standards or self esteem.

Stop painting the picture that SOME MEN ARE BORN EVIL, WHILE ALL WOMEN ARE BORN SAINTS.

Both sex has it's good and bad folks.

seyibrown:
Why does anyone blame somebady else for making them irresponsible?  

Like the 'Adam excuse' as adamsrib mentioned, the MAN blamed GOD AND THE WOMAN for his irresponsibilty! Could Adam not have refused to do wrong? He could have, and so can men today. If ALL MARRIED MEN kept their marriage vows and THE UNMARRIED MEN treat all women as their with dignity as sisters, this world would be a better place!

If ALL MARRIED WOMEN kept their marriage vows and THE UNMARRIED WOMEN treat all MEN as their  BROTHERS  with dignity , this world would be a better place!

FAIR IS FAIR.

seyibrown:
Why does anyone blame somebady else for making them irresponsible?  

Like the 'Adam excuse' as adamsrib mentioned, the MAN blamed GOD AND THE WOMAN for his irresponsibilty! Could Adam not have refused to do wrong? He could have, and so can men today. If ALL MARRIED MEN kept their marriage vows and THE UNMARRIED MEN treat all women as their with dignity as sisters, this world would be a better place!

If ALL MARRIED WOMEN kept their marriage vows and THE UNMARRIED WOMEN treat all MEN as BROTHERS their with dignity , this world would be a better place!

FAIR IS FAIR.

emmatok:
http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art201101082534796


I am 30 years old, dating a married man that hates to see me in company with other men. Whenever he sees me talking with another man, he insults me.


Whenever I talk about marriage, he says the same thing. Now, he is in Lagos on transfer and he neither calls nor sends text messages.


Last month, he suggested that we call the affair off. I love him and I do not want to lose him. What do I do?


DB,


Abuja





At 30, you are still not sure of the future with a married man? Maybe you have to wait till you are 40 before you know what you really want. Obviously, he does not want you to be married for selfish reasons. If he really wants you, why would he not discuss marriage with you? Thank God, he is asking you to get out of his life.


Do exactly as he says and start life afresh with a more serious man. If you hold on to this guy, you could end up an old maid.

NOW THIS IS WHAT THE POSTER IS TALKING ABOUT. YOU CAN CALL THE MAN IN QUESTION A DEVIL [/b]FOR CHEATING [b]BUT IS THE LADY A SAINT?

http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art201101082534796


I am 30 years old, dating a married man that hates to see me in company with other men. Whenever he sees me talking with another man, he insults me.


Whenever I talk about marriage, he says the same thing. Now, he is in Lagos on transfer and he neither calls nor sends text messages.


Last month, he suggested that we call the affair off. I love him and I do not want to lose him. What do I do?


DB,


Abuja





At 30, you are still not sure of the future with a married man? Maybe you have to wait till you are 40 before you know what you really want. Obviously, he does not want you to be married for selfish reasons. If he really wants you, why would he not discuss marriage with you? Thank God, he is asking you to get out of his life.


Do exactly as he says and start life afresh with a more serious man. If you hold on to this guy, you could end up an old maid.

marabout:
I think that not everyone is meant to stay in one marriage lifelong. This applies to both men and women. Some people naturally get bored easily vows or no vows.
Often when relationships/marriages fail,  both parties are hardly innocent even if only one goes out and cheat outright. The marriage must be already lacking something even if they didn't realise it.

In diaspora, the influence of family back home is much less. At least back home, there is always someone in the family you respect: dad, mum, uncle, aunty, godmother/father,  or even a friend or trusted family pastor, who can always talk sense into you or your partner. That social support network is often lacking or minimal in diaspora. Most often ladies see this as a kind of liberation. But liberty like most things always come at a price.

I have always suspected psychological/psychiatric conditions in many black people doing various crazy stuff. But it is so stigmatised in our culture that people don't seek help.
I really dread the time when most diaspora naija kids will be growing up in conditions familiar to many Caribbean kids today: single mum households, large turnover of boyfriends. Terrible prospect.

The level of aggression, quest for many women (sex addiction?) etc could mean that many actually need help.

I concur.

Some of this people have this STAY ABROAD AT ALL COST MENTALITY and they and up destroying their marriages and children's future at in the name of LIBERTY.

@Abydee,

From all i have read i think your husband has a Melancholic Temperament.

They are  prone to depression especially during failures.

They are  independently minded person( they love to do things alone)

In a relationship they can be VERY COLD and are mostly unwilling to provide others with any significant amount of love .



The best way to deal with such a person Is to:

Avoid nagging or quarreling with him or else he will continue to snob and avoid you.

Never insult him with  his failures, because it will make more depressed .

Avoid bringing up any favor you have done for him in your discussions, because he will see himself an INCOMPETENT  HUSBAND.

Always encourage him, even with thing are bad.

Learn to read his MOOD, know what makes him happy or sad.

shewun001:
@poster, divorce may not be the best course of action to take right now, let me ask u a few questions.
1 do u make enough money to take care of your family's needs/
2 do u share this your money well or u hoard it?
3 how many children do u have together?
4 do u make her feel alive in bed?
5 do u still love her?
why did u go thru her fone?, suspicion? Ignorance they say is bliss.
My candid advice is that u confront her and take it from there, if u guys can work at it fine and if u cant , walk away .

May the good Lord give u wisdom to handle this right.

MY guy all this questions useless.

THERE IS NO REASON FOR CHEATING IN ANY MARRIAGE.

Mkpotu:
The Law is simple on that, you cannot build something on nothing! It is a ground for divorce (quitting the marriage), once a marriage is built on deceit & fraud, it means that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. And I believe the church's doctrine will go the same direction.

I think its just like somebody being an AS, while you are AS too, BUT THE PERSON LIED TO YOU THAT SHE IS AA, such marriage too is built on deceit.

I AGREE WITH YOU.

But some people criticizing the POSTER cannot see what your saying here.

ISSUE HERE IS NOT AGE OR CHILD-BEARING .

She forged her birth cert and other document relating to her birth. That is a big fraud.

Do you people know that this will affect the GUY'S career in the future?

The GUY has two options here.

1. GO get a divorce.

2. Go and correct those forged documents at the marriage registry and church.

SHALOM.

andromida:
hello poster stop trying to catch your man cheating what you do not know will not hurt you.(knw this is very hard)but for your sanity and if you want to preserve your marriage stop snooping.

You are wrong.

What if he has HIV/AIDS, or haven't you heard of unfaithful partners infecting their spouse?

It is vary dangerous to live with a Cheating partner, especially in marriage.

If you don't want to Divorce, then you must secure yourself, children and property very well.

[quote author=Sisi_Kill link=topic=572614.msg7398002#msg7398002 date=1293135664][I]*scratching head*[/i]

Wtf is non-scene? [/quote]Sorry PROF,

I meant Nonsense. ok

[quote author=Sisi_Kill link=topic=572614.msg7397949#msg7397949 date=1293134952]GMAFB!!!!

Who's silly enough to write crap like that in a text?!!

Epic fail with this silly attempt to wow nairalanders with another "women are horrible creatures" story.

Go back to the drawing board my friend. . . This one is a total washout.[/quote]And why are you doubting such a story. Because of that TEXT?

Well let me tell you, SHIT like this happen all the time. Even is the church btw PASTORS and MEMBER.

I heard and seen worst in my little stay on earth.

pro01:
@ Benzora et al

Your forgiveness theory sounds nice on paper. And it is not a bad idea. However, it's all a very very complicated process. As the Americans would say: give a mouse a cookie. . .and it would demand a glass of milk. Pierre Cornielle puts it this way: "he who forgives too readily only invites (further) offence". The way this works is this: niceness is often perceived as weakness. And so easily forgiving a wife caught cheating on you would only diminish your respect in her eyes. For real.

I've been theorizing a lot about this issue of late since one has to marry sooner than later, if for nothing else, to produce a heir, and have a family in line with society's expectations and famiily tradition.
  Much as I admit the near-impossibility of life-long fidelity on the part of one's wife, I also must bring  my 'badness' and 'mafia' philosophy to bear in this matter. According to your point of view, 'real' men or 'mature' men are quick to forgive and laugh off their wives' infidelity. Sorry! But nothing can be more subjective than definitions of 'realness' or  'maturity'. After a very extensive consideration of the matter, my preferred view is similar to the colloquial American '11th Commandment', viz. "thou shall not get caught". We realize that you are most likely a thief, but do not get caught stealing. If you get caught, you shall face the dire consequences - not a mushy kiss on the cheek in the name of 'forgiveness'. Quote me: a cheating wife who is assured that her husband would easily and readily forgive her (very dangerous) 'anti-party activities' would persist with such disloyalty and eventually sell her husband to his foremost enemy after a viagra-induced night of hot passion. Every wise mafiosi knows that women are creatures of emotion - a woman would easily reveal all her husband's secrets and weak points to another man (his arch-enemy even) who's fcking her. We men would just fkck for lust, but women are easily carried away by passion and emotion, thats why their persistent and unchecked infidelity is dangerous to any man on the rise.  One can't afford not to instill a positive fear in one's wife and yet hope to retain her respect, devotion and absolute loyalty.

I LIKE THAT BOLD.

It is only a weakling and wuss that takes  such non-scene  from a woman.

A Mature man must instill FEAR AND RESPECT in his relation .

I guess that is what the POSTER lacks (REAL MEN MATURITY).

Because no woman, knowing the type of no non-scene husband she has will try cheating for 1 year not to talk of 3 year.

@ POSTER

YOU ARE NOT A MAN.

How can you abandon your property because of those women.I hope you are not under a spell from their village.

All this while you ran away from your home. That BOY FRIEND would have been banging your wife inside your house. And you MIL will support them.

WARNING[b][/b].

Do not go back to that house alone, because they(WIFE,MIL AND BF ) may harm you.

I will advise you to go get all your family members sharp sharp. Let them help you send those people parking from your house immediately.

HTown Eve:
emmatok, so you are a sex addict since you not a V right? kpele.

WHAT-EVER, I don't care what you call me. But i respect people for what they are.

HTown Eve:
You have a right to your opinion and I respect that.
Sorry your statement above shows some form of illiteracy.  
If virginity is such a virtue that makes you such a disciplined and wonderful person, why are you partaking in disrespecting Omolola1 above?

Whether you are a virgin or not is okay.  That is your cup of tea.  Why do you want an accolade for it?  Let me ask you this, do you self service?  I ask because it is biological for a human to be turned on.  You are dead if you don't or have never been a.roused sexually.  Just biological facts.

No one is saying virgins are not aroused sexually.

Because SEX IS A DRIVE, as HUNGER IS ALSO DRIVE.

But i have seen people who can fast for 60 day without food and water, is it easy ? NO

So, is it easy for a person to stay for at least 18 years without sex?.NO

IT TAKES ENDURANCE AND INNER STRENGTH.

Like it or not VIRGINITY IS ALL ABOUT VIRTUE AND  ENDURANCE.

ARareGem:
So una still dey talk for dis matter? OK, let me repeat what most people I agree with have already said. Virginity is a virtue (male and female). But I must say that the organisers of the below mentioned forum, pageant,  are going about encouraging this virtue the wrong way. A true virgin doesn't need a reward from the world. He/her partner's undying respect is good enough. The pageant exposes the girls unwisely.

As for those ladies who are keeping themselves for the right man, kudos.

And as for the guys who are doing the same, I hail o..

That's my own contribution.

THANK U JOR.

DON'T MIND THOSE SEX ADDICTS.

Omolola1:
u guys re misundrstndng me, what i meant was the virginity threads are becoming too much

How is that a problem. SIMPLY IGNORE THE TREAD AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT.

Omolola1:
ds virginity issue is really becoming over-stressed

Virginity is all about[b] VIRTUE AND ENDURANCE.[/b]

HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN ABSTAIN FROM SEX FOR A LONG PERIOD, AT THIS AGE AND TIME? NO ONE, EXCEPT A VIRGIN.

EVEN SOME REVEREND FATHER NO FIT AVOID SEX .

Omolola1:
ds virginity issue is really becoming over-stressed

Virginity is all about[b] VIRTUE AND ENDURANCE.[/b]

HOW PEOPLE CAN AVOID SEX FOR A LONG PERIOD, AT THIS AGE AND TIME? NO ONE, EXCEPT A VIRGIN.

EVEN SOME REVEREND FATHER NO FIT AVOID SEX .

slap1:
The columnist's response was not right, IMO. Why the hell would she say the girl brazenly lost her virginity? Did she know the circumstances in which she lost it? Is virginity a barometer for measuring faithfulness in a relationship? The girl returned because she realized her mistake, it's just a pity her virginity didn't make it. And if you love a girl coz of her virginity, it means you've not disvirgined a girl b4 and wants to see what it tastes like! So take the chic back, I say. You'd have a leverage over her if u take her despite evritin.

NA WHERE THE SO CALLED VIRGINITY RUN GO?

That girl is a lier, She left the NICE GUY for the BAD GUY.

Because NICE GUY na MUGU. AND the BAD GUY is sharp enough to collect the VIRGINITY.

Now she is coming back to NICE GUY(MUGU) .

Well i will advise the NICE GUY(MUGU) collect the balance of that VIRGINITY. Then dump her sorry ass.

My GUY there is noting like YOUR Best Friend Wants To Take YOUR Babe. Your babe has the free will to choose between you two.

The fact is that your BABE is not SHOWING STRONG RESISTANT to your friend.

All you need to do is to ask her to choose who she want. She will likely say you her every-thing. NO PROBLEM.

Just observe her moves and closeness towards your friend.

DO NOT DISCUSES THE ISSUE WITH YOUR FRIEND,BECAUSE SOME MEN CAN BE VARY DESPERATE AND DANGEROUS WHEN IT COMES TO THIS RELATIONSHIP.

JUST KEEP AND OPEN MIND AND ENJOY YOUR-SELF.

Major Hamzat Al Mustapha targets included businessman Pa Alfred Rewane, Kudirat Abiola, aned Alex Ibru, the publisher of The Guardian.

This is not a tribal issue, so all those YORUBA HATERS SHOULD STFU.

Our judicial  system in this country  is very bad, because i think that TERRORIST  Major Hamzat Al Mustapha should be spending his life time in jail.

@ Ujujoan

I think you are making a big mistake here.

One thing i want you to know is that ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. And that is how relationships start.

You can be attracted to any  person , but you must know when to keep your distance.

And why are you CRUCIFYING the man.Are you a saint?  Or are you saying you have not been attracted to some body other than your BF before?

@ Ujujoan

The man has not fail his wife in any way.

He is just taking precautionary steps.

MY AUNT SACKED HER HOUSE MAID, WHEN SHE REALIZE THAT THE  GIRL DON'T WEAR BRA IN THE HOUSE. IS THAT A CRIME .

@ lerato1

He only entered my v, g, na half way but then i came back to my senses and pushed him away from on top of me, wore my cloths and i ran out of his room.

that is also cheating.