₦airaland Forum

Can a 33 years old lady be raped 4 times by the same man without complaining to any body including her sister ?

Na!!! even an underage knows her way to the police station Nigeria.She is up to something crazy.

leisuretym:
Dear Nairalander,

she's 22yrs old ,400level law student  and am 28yrs old busy graduate , the relationship is 3years old now.

her Dad suddenly asked her to come home last week and when she got home . her dad said she must marry a friend son who is rich ,   that its was a nice offer,   she said '' my Dad said its a nice offer''   but she rejected it!   

now the Dad has stopped her allowance and while given her 3weeks to think about it !
they have started arranging her travel document to Jerusalem said the two families will be meeting in Jerusalem for Xmas, she returned to school with nothing on her hoping to frustrate her.

she's everything i have worked for in my life and am loosing in two weeks!

her dad gave her a teddy bear from the guy's family and i wonder ! 
am loosing it all, what do you think please!  this is the only girl i love.

MAN are you ready to marry her NOW. If YES go tell her parents and if NO i will advise u leave her alone. Because parents these day do not value all these boy

friend/girl friend stuffs . They want serious relationship the will lead to marriage for their children.

So make up mind and propose marriage to her as soon as possible. Or else she moves on .

[quote author=Mrs. Eve link=topic=556892.msg7215021#msg7215021 date=1290692926]Well,

My husband doesn't want to be around any of my male friends and I don't care, I am not losing my good male friends because my husband got some MACHONESS he dealing with, SCREW THAT!

IF YOU HAVE GOOD MALE FRIENDS LADIES, HOLD ON TO THEM, THEY ARE VALUABLE TRUST ME![/quote]Damn!  It seems that you deliberately making you hubby jealous by seeing those men.

At least show him a little respect. Marriages this days dey make man fear o .

Even when you find your soul mate, maintaining a relationship takes time, patience and commitment. In reality, the notion of finding one‘s true love, along with other legends surrounding love and relationships, can be tricky, especially if you don‘t distinguish fact from fiction. To help you do just that, here is clarification on 10 commonly held misconceptions about love, marriage and relationships.


Myth No. 1: Every person has one true love or ”soul mate”


Truth: A person can have more than one soul mate.


The possibility that there are several potential suitable mates for each of us diminishes the romanticism of finding that perfect Mr. or Ms. Right. And that may be why many people hold firm to the belief that there is one true love out there for them, somewhere.


”It‘s possible to have more than one soul mate,” says Audrey B. Chapman, a Washington D.C.-based relationship expert and author of Getting Good Loving (Agate, 2004). ”You can have different soul mates in order to have different experiences and at different levels into your life.”


Myth No. 2: Your ideal mate is someone with a personality similar to your.


Truth: While it‘s helpful to have a lot in common with your significant other, maintaining one‘s individuality is important.


“There are differences even in people who are similar,” says Dr. Bronwen Millet, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Washington, D.C. ”You (can) create whatever type of relationship you want by working together with your significant other. What I‘ve seen in practice is that couples (who are) committed, willing and able to step out to do the work have healthier relationships , Saying that there are too many differences for the relationship to work is an easy way out.”


Myth No. 3: Love conquers all in a marriage and relationship


Truth: The concept that ‘love conquers all‘ sounds good in love songs, but you need more than love to sustain a long-term relationship or marriage. The truth is, love is only a starting point , To survive, it needs to be tempered by tolerance, tenacity, humour and humility.


Relationship experts agree that there should be other variables in place to help nurture a healthy relationship. According to Dr. Millet, couples who share common values and maintain a high level of commitment are more successful at making their relationship work. In addition, each person in the relationship has to learn to apply coping skills. These include developing problem-solving abilities, learning how to listen and communicate effectively with regard to your mate, handling anger and stress in a positive manner, and applying patience when needed.


Myth No. 4: Each person gives 50-50 in the relationship


Truth: While most of us are taught that we must give equally in a marriage, it rarely happens.


”Someone can give 30-70 or 60-40,” says Chapman. ”What matters most is to ensure that the person who is giving 60 percent isn‘t resentful of the person who is giving 40 percent.” This especially holds true in today‘s society, where traditional male and female roles have become debunked. Some women have assumed the role of the breadwinner, or earn just as much money (or more) than their partner. In addition, men have become more versatile in their roles regarding children and domestic responsibilities.


Myth No. 5: I can change my mate over time


Truth: What you marry is usually what you get.


Too often, people embark upon a relationship or marriage with the expectation of changing their partner into the ideal person they want. ”To try to change a person is a setup (for a letdown),” according to Dr. Millet. ”In order to change someone, you have to rework that person, starting from their childhood.” Her advice is to get to know the person you are involved with and be able to understand and accept him or her for who he or she is before you commit.


Myth No.6: Getting married is a cure for promiscuity


Truth: Marriage won‘t ensure monogamy.


Experts agree that a person who is promiscuous probably has other issues that he or she is trying to avoid and will inevitable bring into the marriage.


”You take you with you everywhere you go,” says Dr. Millet. ”Whether it is sex, drugs, whatever - these are all distractions that have to be addressed before marriage. You can‘t run from yourself.”


Myth No. 7: After a breakup, the best way to recover is with a new relationship


Truth: Jumping into a new relationship after you have just ended one is usually a recipe for failure. Time spent solo after a relationship or marriage ends (in addition to counselling for some) is necessary to heal a broken or bruised heart. Entering into a new relationship too soon might not give you a chance to work through all of your issues. To be happy in a relationship, you must first be happy with yourself.


Myth No. 8: My true soul mate will never cheat on me


Truth: Your partner may still cheat on you, even if he or she cares about you.


According to the experts, it‘s the quality of a relationship that will usually dictate whether or not a person cheats. People cheat because there is something missing from the relationship, or because there‘s something missing from the individual who is doing the cheating. Usually, the person going outside of the relationship feels the need to be confirmed by someone other than his or her spouse.


Myth No. 9: You can never date your best friend‘s ex


Truth: It depends on the circumstances.


Both Dr. Millet and Chapman say that you can date your best friend‘s ex, if the situation is right. ”If you are dating your friend‘s ex two days after they‘ve broken up, that‘s a problem,” says Chapman. If, however, you start to become interested in someone whom your friend dated while you were both in high school or college and you all are adults now, that‘s acceptable and also less likely to seem like a betrayal to your friend. It‘s also important to communicate and to set boundaries, which will determine what is acceptable in the relationship, according to Dr. Millet.


Myth No. 10: All men cheat , eventually


Truth: There are still some good men out there who don‘t cheat.


While a larger percentage of men than women do cheat, according to relationship experts, not all have - or will. The truth is that, with the latest technology (cell phones, e-mail, Blackberries), it is easier to cheat on your spouse. Now for the twist: The number of women cheating has increased - as many as 40 per cent of women (up from 20 per cent) have had affairs. ”Today, more women are cheating than did during their mothers‘ and grandmothers‘ generations,” says Chapman. ”And women are better at it,” she adds.


Whether you have already found your soul mate, or are still looking for that special individual, know that any worthwhile relationship requires mutual commitment, as well as respect and communication. And that‘s the truth!

http://www.thirdage.com/marriage/10-relationship-myths-and-the-truth-about-soul-mates?page=0,3#ixzz15SSedBZm

SSaemoenl:
Its time to change this their ancient worshiping of the royal family(Queen). I hate everything about royal family.

That is their culture, and they are keeping it. Let Africans too learn to protect their own cultures.

MzWumi:
No one knew what I wanted to do so no one would even open their mouths. Plus everyone knows that I don't take nonsense, so who can dare question something that is none of their business. The only person that knew was my uncle, not even my own mama. I told her while we were in the limo heading towards the church. Everyone thought I would have my uncle walk me down the aisle, so when I told him that I wanted my mother, he agreed. I didn't tell my mom because she is a big traditionalist and is always worrying about what people think!
She was very shocked at my idea, she didn't like it. I told her that if she was not willing to walk me down then I will refuse to get out of the limo, so she didn't have an option!

My mom has been there for me through thick and thin. She has endured years of suffering all for my sake, and on my day of glory, why should I let a "man" take credit for her hard work just for tradition sake?  That is complete bull crap!

FYI, we also had a mother daughter dance as well, lol

If it were my Mum, she will ignore your threat and see if u will not get  married on that day.

Marriage is about two families coming together not just you and your man.

stillwater:
Times have changed. Anyone should.

For those who want to marry, marriage it self is based on tradition.

why are we Africans trying to dumping our traditional values.

Even the western world still follow this tradition.

check chelsea clinton wedding

coded777:
Ladies and Gents, i'll just go straight to the point. i've been hawking through the romance sect for sometime now and seeing some cute stuff.
here is the picture though in reality,
My phones were switched off all day. I called my gurl on phone just before midnite, we've not talked for up to 2mins she was telling how she's tried my numbers to no avail, then i tried to explain. low and behold i heard some flapping sounds like when you're having a hard fuc k then i had my girl moaned. . OMG!! this is practically undeniable, i asked immediately what she was doing she said she's pulling her jean trousers which was differenct from what she first tlld me that she's lying down in bed and about to sleep. i believe there is no lieing about this one, cos its a red handed caught.
my heat almost jumped out.i just hung up the call.

a few minutes later she began calling me but i did not pick, i dont know how she wants to justify this, honestly my heart is broken, why are girls like this damn! i just lost my pretty angel,  what does she has to say NOTHING! cos i caught her, a sensible person who is not dumb knows this.

Well i only thought it wise to air this here probably i'd gather up some tips on what next i should.
frank opinions, pls your welcome.

@ poster

I am 80 % sure she is not f**king another man while talking to u on phone.

Because no decent women would do such a thing not even to her foes.

Maybe she is just masturbating which i do not think is bad. Except u also u are the religious type.

hey Missy ★ B

I do not understand why you fighting over this issue .

We are just putting things in perspective here. OK!

WHY ARE SOME WOMEN HERE SO DEFENSIVE.

Some women are criticizing tolutara because they are also guilty of been Materialistic .

In Nigeria here you see mothers borrowing money to buy ASO EBI,SHOES.BAGS e.t.c just for a day burial ceremony or OWANBE PARTY

While their children are suffering . And some peps are claiming they are enjoying themselves or living life to the fullest.

Abba, do you think joy,happiness and looking good in life is a result of how much money you spend buying all these things?

You have to admit it's pretty dumb and doesn't make any sense, What makes it's even more retarded is that they complain when they don't get respect. I mean, c'mon. I hear women complain about guys(JERKS) all the damn time, and they wonder why they get cheated on, ignored, and what not. I can't think of anything that can be more idiotic.

@ poster

You should also ask yourself Why do women date jerks(BAD GUYS) and reject good men.

WELL THEY JUST LOVE FUN THEY GET FORM JERKS

@ Ileke-IdI

Are you Investigating Divorce Cases In Yorubaland or Polygamy ?

Because they are two different issues.

As for polygamy most Yoruba women especially the EDUCATED ONES ARE VERY MATERIALISTIC .

They neglect single men withing their age bracket and run after rich married men(ARISTOS) irrespective of his religion but for his wealth.

How can you now blame the men for polygamy when the women willingly run after them for their riches.

SOME SPORT CARS still comes with  Manual transmission  because you can control the car's acceleration on difficult and curvy roads.

MrsEve:
Emmatok,

You telling me TWICE to leave African men alone IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT,

Jealousy is not always a bad thing but TO THE POINT where the person is harmed because of jealousy overload is bad,

If you are a jealous person it okay, JUST WORK ON IT NOT BEING AN OVERLOAD that all,

I still say African men are the most jealous men in the world,  

OKEY MrsEve keep fighting African men while i move on with my life.

I HOPE THE-SAME JEALOUSY  IS NOT PUSHING YOU INTO THIS ANTI-AFRICAN MEN QUEST.

AM JUST WONDERING ARE YOU THE FEMALE EDITION OF MOBO444  

MrsEve:
Emmatok,

You telling me TWICE to leave African men alone IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT,

Jealousy is not always a bad thing but TO THE POINT where the person is harmed because of jealousy overload is bad,

If you are a jealous person it okay, JUST WORK ON IT NOT BEING AN OVERLOAD that all,

I still say African men are the most jealous men in the world,

OKEY MrsEve keep fighting African men while i move with my life.

I HOPE THE-SAME JEALOUSY IS NOT PUSHING YOU INTO THIS ANTI-AFRICAN MEN QUEST.

I AM WONDERING ARE YOU THE FEMALE EDITION OF MOBO444

MADAM EVE, pls leave AFRICAN MEN ALONE.

No man will open his eyes seeing another man banging his wife/girl friend without feeling jealous.

Or tell me that man that will feel comfortable seeing his wife/girl flirting with other men. EVEN PLAYBOY WILL BE JEALOUS.

You are JEALOUS because you are in a relationship with him/her and that is normal. You cannot be JEALOUS with a stranger.

MrsEve:
African men are the MOST JEALOUS men in the entire world, @Mediatrix

MADAM EVE, pls leave AFRICAN MEN ALONE.

No man will open eye seeing another man banging his wife/girl friend without feeling jealous.

Or tell me that man that will feel comfortable seeing his wife/girl flirting with other men. EVEN PLAYBOY WILL BE JEALOUS.

You are JEALOUS because you in relationship with him/her and that is normal. You cannot be JEALOUS to a stranger.

For those blaming the husband. That man is not guilty until we hear from the woman who ran away .

If the silly woman really wants to divorce her husband she would have gone court to normalize her divorce.

I bet u she ran away with her lover boy not knowing the implications of her actions.

I WILL NOT BE SURPRISED IF THE SAME WOMAN, RUNS BACK TO HER HUSBAND BEGGING FOR FORGIVINGNESS AND BLAMING THE DEVIL.

I KNOW A LOT OF WOMEN DO THESE THINGS (RUNS AWAY AND RUNS BACK BEGGIN).

oweniwe:
All una people wey de abuse the poster, una be dunce, stoopid mugus. When the parents are old and retired, who'll be taking care of the late baby? No be the poster? Her parents de carry load put on her head and you want her to be dancing? Do you know the stress some "elder brothers/sisters" go through to train babies their parents had late? Some brothers/sisters sacrifice a lot to care for something they didn't create. For example, you are 21, your 55 years old pop has 8 kids which include 3 toddlers and still wants more kids. You know that when your parents are old, you'll be the one to be paying the school fees of 3 or 4 siblings. If your parents have another kid again will you be happy? If my papa and mama try that nonsense, i go tell them my mind: "next time you have another baby, i'll buy a shot gun and shot it. Why una de pile load for my head?"  

Are u human at all   .

IF the poster is not happy with the new baby. Let her go and start her own family, after-all she is a 21 year old ADULT  

MRbrownJAY:
^^^^^i did no insult you but if you found my reply insulting then accept my apologies as it was not intended.

AM COOL  

@MRbrownJAY


No need for insults.

Since don't believe in reconciliation. Then you are entitled to your own opinion.

OK

! NO LAW CAN FORCE A HUSBAND TO EITHER RESPECT HIS WIFE OR TO DO WHAT HE IS NOT READY/WILLING TO DO!
[quote][/quote]

It simply shows you are ignorant of the law. Do you think those couples who go court to settle their differences are only going there for divorce?

MR Commentator

Why don't you proffer a solution to her problem.

Onyema1:
Most people here just have grossly polluted mind.  What's the big deal in 2 guys or even 4 guys sharing the same bed.  back then at Kenneth Dike Hall we sleep 6 guys in a room in the same foam.  Nothing  even crosses any body's mind and every body is happy sleeping that way.  Some times you go visit your guys and you feel like sleeping over without hassles.  Well I guess it's part of the packages in America where about 30% of men are homo or the tendency to become one.  @OP you cannot live in the same room with someone and not want to share your pptys.  if you want that privacy move out to your own apartment that's how big boys do it.

@Onyema1

YOU ARE RIGHT, MOST REALLY PEOPLE HAVE POLLUTED MINDS.

@Poster

I it is wrong for you to be spreading tales about or less than one year old marriage on nairaland.
As an adult you should know that marital issues are not to be discoursed in public because every one has an opinion(right or wrong).
When is NAIRALAND A Marriage COURT where everybody is a judge.

We are only getting your own side of the story and not that of your husband.
We do not know your husband.
We do not know if his actually beating you or doing those other things you claim his is doing to you.

IT ONLY A VARY GULLIBLE PERSON THAT BELIEVE ONE-SIDED STORY ESPECIALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP.

Must people are telling you to get a divorce, well that is not the solution to your problem.
Because most of the time, when couples go their separate ways, they do not find happiness with someone else! The divorce rate for people who have once been divorced is higher than for those who are getting married for the first time.

Thier are laws in the NIGERIAN MARRIAGE ACT that can force your spouse to fulfill his marital obligations.
So i will advice you to get a good and professorial Marriage Lawyer.

GOD BLESS.

wow, you are sleeping by your wife and still having Sex In Dream

Is your madam on strike or what, you better start talking to her cos your issue is not spiritual at all.

@*Hauwa*

I meant joint account for family need,

and personal account for private use like meeting your own person needs .like , clothings, cosmetic,investment etc.

I agree with the joint account stuff.

The couple should have a joint account were they can both deposit certain amount of their monthly pay equally at the end of every mouth, for family expenses like .bills, feeding school,children stuff e.t.c.

Then they can keep their personal accounts for their own private use .

Fumes dont kill in seconds there must have been a period of discomfort which they ignored probably because they are  carried away with their sexual escapade.