₦airaland Forum

To tell you the truth I think I'll be quite skeptical if a Pastor etc was to tell me whose fit to be my husband or was to tell me I do not qualify to be Mr. X's wife . . . I understand that precaution must be taken when deciding on ones future/potential spouse but precaution must also be taken towards external advices in my opinion. I can also understand if someone who is in the faith (Christianity/Islam etc) seek the counselling/advice of their religious leader.

You know when I first read your question I interpreted it to mean would a person acquire a spiritual life before getting married - and if that were to be the proposed question I think or at least I'd hope to.

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No be fight oh! I just want to compare both lingo's to trace any similarities/differences etc

This one no be edexcel kind assessment so anybody wey sabi one or both lingo feel free to spray am anyhow as una like mek I kon study the word arrangements

So these Mods come be wicked like this, see how dem fit seduce pipo enter thread wit the kain topic dem put for homepage

. . .e don happen. . .who is without sin . . . . ehen una know the rest . . .

claremont:
This is a typical example of a Chicken versus Eggs question; which came out first, the chicken or the egg?! My siblings are my blood, I grew up with them, we share a common heritage. On the other hand, my spouse is someone I may/may not spend the rest of my life with. I am 100% sure that my siblings will be there for me when I need them, but it is fool-hardy to say the same for a spouse no matter how trustworthy he or she may be. Therefore, I would prefer my siblings over my spouse IMO.

. . . so what if you or indeed your siblings were adopted? the blood link will be absent but I doubt you'll love them any less. In fact that's one of the amazing facets of love . . .to have the capacity to love another not purely based on familial bonds, blood ties etc which is essentially involuntary.

Your siblings will also be married eventually if they haven't already so they will be there to support their own spouse first and foremost.

If someone is not willing to put their spouse first such a person shouldn't even be married in my humble opinion.

oops I completely misread the question. . . well that one is easy, my husband of course.

claremont:
So "love" is now a form of language?! Interesting!

Nothing wey person no dey hear for dis Nairaland oh!

Well it's a feeling conveyed by the parties involved so yep you could say it's a "form of language".

ronkebp:
It is just because 'Love does not have a language",

Well it's not limited by dialect that's for sure.

pendo89:
The same way blind/dumb people fall in love with each other.
I think chemistry/communication takes place in the soul first before it manifests in the physical.

Yes I believe that also but I was wondering after the initial attraction stage how does such a relationship with a huge barrier such as language differences survive but I guess that one party or better yet both will eventually begin to understand one anothers language.

talina:
Interesting topic. I would think a relationship like that would be very intense because the couple would have to rely on all other senses therefore, sensing each other on a whole different level. There is much intensity and sharing even in silence.

Yeah I tend to agree, I like the explanation you rendered as well - their relationship will be sensual then and heavily dependent on aural imagery.

. . . hmmm with all these scandalous stories concerning Ghanaians currently, no doubt some Nigerians feel oh so vindicated now.

Please remember there are bad and good people everywhere.

Parents deeply ponder on the name they are about to offer their children, some are swayed by the meanings thus I concluded that we are governed by the connotations attached to our names.

However I saw something strange. There was a girl baring a boy's name. I wonder what such implication would be apart from bullying of course. I mean for a female to carry a boy's name I feel could perhaps compromise their femininity (not outwardly, perhaps mentally) particularly if the name is so masculine or pertains strictly to a man . . . and vice versa. I just wonder because that girl would be constantly referred to as title exclusively associated with males - I don't know if that's healthy particularly mentally?

I've also heard names which beforehand had never existed. I understand some parents desire for their child not to have a generic name or to offer their child a unique name but a name that is conjured from thin air has no meaning. So what implication would that have for the child to carry a meaningless name?

I'm sorry. . .but what examples do you want me to render?

The only example I can relay is a personal account. I only observed one couple in such a predicament. The man spoke Greek, the lady English, they were in-tuned with each other physically (based on their body language) but obviously not linguistically.

How do two people sustain a relationship when they cannot speak the same tongue? - maybe love is the language they are communicating in.
It's actually intriguing for me to observe because actions becomes the dialect that both trade conversations in (well the couple I witnessed).

I will support her every step of the way, after all she is my mother

@ Topic . . . is this a short cut to implementing population control what a ludicrous idea (smh) I can't believe CAN suggested this.

I am saddened by the deaths and its nature seen in the country but carrying guns is not the sure solution at all (at least not in the long term) besides how many Nigerians actually know how to use one?

Dating even sounds casual when you think about it lol, courting sounds sophisticated.

. . .Anyway the way I understood courting or at least within my background . . . during courtship the people whom seek to translate their relationship into marriage (which is not a prerequisite in dating plus dating seems like trial and error to me). . .the two people involved will always arrange to meet in a neutral territory (i.e. a friends' abode). This friend was not an ordinary friend, as the role that person played was to oversee their arrangements etc. . . . because in courting (at least in my background) men and women were not allowed to have premarital sex, so to avoid such situations that friend or intermediary if you like. . was often usually present in the same setting where the couple were. During courtship both parties relay personal information about themselves to one another to obviously confirm if they are compatible or not etc . . . it is a very strict process but now I'm older I must say I do understand and appreciate the value of courting now.

Situations vary and every situation is unique so if one woman could fend of a despoiler it doesn't present itself that another woman certainly can. In the face of adversary people's responses are different, some women are actually paralyzed by fear hence won't even be able to defend herself irrespective of her size or whatever coloured belt she has acquired in karate etc. . .the same way a woman with no prior knowledge of karate/self defense etc may to her great fortune know how to protect/guard herself from harm. It's not a guaranteed outcome unfortunately.

It was early in the year I first heard about this particular hybrid faith.

Despite the contradictory elements I find it rather intriguing . . .

I'm curious as to what type of followers Chrislam attracts and how reconciling complementary faiths is possible.


. . .e.g. Jesus is not considered the Son Of God in the Quaran yet He is in the Bible . . .


How does such a follower abide by essentially two beliefs?

How does the different components of both Islam and Christianity fit in to create Chrislam?

Is Chrislam essentially a pick and mix religion?. . . .

oluite:
@OP
I know of someone who had all babies via CS because she said its Straightforward and far better,not for any medical reason.

. . . hmm interesting. How many children did she have? I heard that a woman can only employ CS up until a certain amount of births.

LOL thanks for that link I needed a laugh

This is Miss Haiti. Haiti is pitch black, like they never left west Africa

she is half Persian and half Ghanian, With an American accent on top of that, How authentic can she not get, Im not even gona bother showing you a Ghanian authentic girl, You can see in your local cities, you will always run into them, especially at calling card stores, looool, "I wontu kul gahana, su bliss giv mi a kard"

ahhh you either pity ignorant people or just laugh at them, I prefer the latter

ronkebp:
PERSONALLY, I DO NOT KNOW A THING ABOUT THE CHEMICAL BEING RELEASED WHEN TO DELIVER THAT BONDS A MOTHER TO HER CHILD, BUT I KNOW BREASTFEEDING, GIVES THAT MOTHER AND CHILD BOND, WHEN I WAS WEANING MY CHILD, I CRIED, BECAUSE HE WANTED HIS 'MUMMY',  THOUGH HE STILL CLINGS ON TO ME AND RUBS HIS HEAD AGAINST MY CHEST OOO AND PRETENDS HE IS JUST HUGGING ME,  

blank:
Had an emergency CS and it was horrible. I did not immediately bond with my baby as i was trying to get through the pain and it was hard. It took almost 3 weeks to feel that "bond". Anywayz sha, i dey ready to av pikin nos 2 but the pikin dey take style late.

Goodluck

chaircover:
I dont think that women who choose to go for an elective CS do so because they dont want to feel pain. The Pain of a CS is probably on par with labour. It is major surgery and the wound wont just heal in 24 hours.

I have heard reasons such as wanting the baby on a particular day to fit in with other things, not wanting tears or an episiotomy, a traumatic previous labour etc but on the whole I dont think that that many women actually request for an elective CS for the reasons above. Many women have an elective CS for medical reasons & many others end up with emergency CS's

The most important thing is that baby and mother are healthy

very Informative . .  I can't believe I never even factored in the pain of CS . . . I 've heard women who months after birth still feel the pain.

[quote author=~Sissy~ link=topic=758901.msg9140058#msg9140058 date=1315938605]well sadly some "women" do see the need to place greater price on vagi.nal birth because in their deluded thinking it makes you more of a woman. you havent seen where some women are outright insulted and demeaned by other women because they birthed their children through CS? ever wonder why some women hide the fact that they gave birth through CS from others? inasmuch as elective CS and co are now more in the spotlight, the stigma of CS is still booming in some places[/quote]Yes, sadly I believe there is a stigma attached to CS. Many (like me) don't understand it in it's entirety and then we are inundated with stories of celebrities having cesarean and some of us assume that it might be a high maintenance or even vanity thing, since it's casted as a lifestyle choice because of the way it has been portrayed in the media i.e. . . "too posh to push".

Is there a greater price or value when a woman goes through all those hours of labour to give birth to her child? I read somewhere that when women give birth there is a particular chemical that is released that bonds the mother and child - the same with br[i]e[/i]as[i]t[/i] feeding, according to science.

I guess I've grown up in the belief that part of the parcel of pregnancy was to also pass through that labour of love by secreting the child naturally - of course this is just my own notion not scientific fact.

Now I must underline that I know any mother loves her child but I think a part of me reckons that perhaps in vanity or not wanting to pass through such pain for the sake of their child leads me to question the fortitude of their love at that particular period. I imagine that any mother would be willing to carry any kind of pain for their children (unborn or not).

P.S It's not my intention to cast judgment or frown on peoples choices I'm just naturally inquisitive - I hope I haven't offended anyone most especially mothers.

Egba girl:
Hey all, Looking to connect with any nigerians in Dakar atm. If you are in Dakar, hit me up!

I hear Omotola is in Dakar


. . . .anyway I can't wait to visit this beautiful country, how is Dakar by the way?

I don't like this idea but I appreciate it's just a recommendation. I can't imagine seeing Nigerian men and women content with having one child that isn't of their preferred gender (most especially a male child). Also children are percieved as inheritance, blessing etc so restricting two healthy fertile people from reproducing may be construed as busy body by some Nigerians. . . furthermore many Nigerians may just resolve to have their children abroad if they are made to adopt this policy and I'm pretty sure US and other host nations alike will not be best pleased with such an outcome.

In all honesty protest is one thing but to call for the death of another nation is frightening to me. People carry protest all over the world but that doesn't mean one should submit a premature obituary (smh). However I seriously doubt many of these people will even be able to render solid reasons (outside what they have been made to believe) as to why they are protesting - in my opinion.

I find it interesting that our individual self esteem is attached to other concepts be it rooted in beauty, intelligence, wealth, talents ect and of course God.

I thus wonder if the removal or the extinction of the origin or bedrock of our ego causes depression/confusion etc

A person who is vain in their talents for instance a dancer could have her ability prematurely erased in the occurrence of an accident, thus her self esteem evaporates along with that with which it was rooted in (her talent)

Which makes me think about those who attach their esteem to an incorruptible and unseen being such as God.

Does their own supply of self esteem remain permanent?  - well providing that they do not backslide. . .

I'm not a fan of such contest but I must confess I am a fan of Leila Lopes's beauty.

Angola, well done