₦airaland Forum

this boy is just a half as smart as me, so imagine where i will be after reading this

ARE YOU AS SMART AS THIS BOY?

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.

Teacher: What is your problem?

Boy: I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the
third-grade too.

The teacher took the boy to the principal's office. While the boy
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal
what the situation was.

The principal told her that he would give the boy a test and if he
failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the
first-grade and behave. She agreed.

The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: What is 3 x 3?
Boy: 9

Principal: What is 6 x 6?
Boy: 36

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. 'I think the boy can go to the third-grade’, said the
principal.

The teacher said she had some of her own questions to ask.

The principal and the boy agreed.

Teacher: What is it that a cow has four and I have only two?
Boy: (after a moment) Legs.

Teacher: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?
Boy: Pockets.

Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut.

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the
answer, the boy was already answering.
Boy: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and
a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the
answer,
Boy: Shake hands.

Teacher: Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large
vodka peg,
Boy: Wedding Ring.

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose

Teacher: I am a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck.

Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and if u don't
get it u have to use your hand?
Boy: Fork.

Teacher: What is it that all men have one. It is longer for some men
than for others. The pope doesn't use his.
Normally a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, 'Send
this Boy to the University. I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!'

quite a creative write up!!
We may just not get it right!!! Thats my only fear!!
All men to him self, God for us all!!

What a great match!!!
A disappointment and sloppy game from Spain
There is just one formula against them. . . . .Try and score first and then build a good defense!!!


USA v Brazil!!!! in th final!!!

MrCrackles:
It's all over
If Spain come back, i will slowly roast my own testicles in the oven!

Don't be too sure Brashy!!!
I will help light the match and pour more kerosine!!

Was that strong enough to be a red card!!

OGUCHI ONYEWU!!!!!

World class display!!!!!!!
1 minute to go!!

The goal was scrappy but the build up was superb
Clark has been doing wonders here!!!
Spain being beaten to their own game. . . . counter attack
The Spanish defence is still Shait. . . .why is the same thing with all Spanish related teams??

G O A L!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clint Dempsey!!!

Charlie Davies off>
Bennie Feilharber on<

Fabregas off >
Santu Cazorla on<

r a m o s s s s s!!!!!!!!!

FBS:

But do you think The Yanks can pull this off?

Don't really think so but the way these Americans built their defense, will make Spain sweat for it!!
Still some good time left to play.

Cristalz:
The Americans have got determination.  .  .grit. They want this badly and they're playing like it too. Spain want it, but they aren't playing as hard, aren't playing like it's do or die.

And, the USA's defense is tight. Very efficient. A lot better than the Spanish defense. The Spaniards need to get their act together.

Spain ain't known for grit and all that.
They have a sleek and smooth way of getting their things done. if it doesn't work for them that way, then its not just their day.
I wanna see a Brazil v Espagne final!!!

MrCrackles:
Jeez Obama is played out, leave that dude out of soccer!

Try B-ball. . . . he was a team captain!!

Just a matter of time before the Spaniards score!!

FBS:
By the way, it wasn't Pique that he turned. Wasn't it Capdevilla?
Pique was in front chasing back towards goal? No?

Wow!! My bad!!!Shait happens!!

These Spaniards are all over the place!!
Howard will smell football today!!!

MrCrackles:

I read the shit EMP's
WTF is that Rueben Abati dude anyway?

Na my Oga for The Guardian ooh!!
We'll talk about it later. . . . .after the match!!

Brashy
I do like you to see this!!

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-287512.0.html

Half Time!! Quite a good hold out play by the USA
This is what tenacity and self belief does!!!

But i just don't see them holding out. . . . .there are a million game changers in this Spain side and we can see what someone like torres can bring to the table. . . . . .there bench also.
But lets see how it goes!!

Cristalz:
Who is the Spanish striker that keeps falling down when he is needed? The US just need a tight defense to keep the Spaniards away and they ain't doing badly there at all.
However, all it takes is one silly mistake.

Come on, Spain!

What a miss by Dempsey!!!
The Spaniards should watch it!!

But seriously, for the love of me, I wanna see a Brazil Spain final
Its gotta be a CRACK(ER)LES

tkb417:
very true!
at least Kitaun and Loyika will be here to banter and eldee wont be running shows in the music section

Where is Loyika??

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=277622.msg4083438#msg4083438 date=1245869865]GOALLLLLLLLLLLLL

What a goal from Altidore!!!![/quote]Look at how he turned Pique!!!
Gosh!! Never underrate a team no matter how small!!!
I love their tenacity!!!

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=277622.msg4083396#msg4083396 date=1245869343]David Villa is priceless. . . .
Movement, pace, stealth, vision, awareness.
Fergie. . . . .BUY Villa.[/quote]I am not yet impressed!!! Just that i can't see any better striker!!

Lovely turn ALTIDORE!!!
What a goal!!

Matrix
Slumdog Millionaire
Taken!!

Brashy et Omar

Before i continue, can someone define what working together means?
Cos most of the things you guys harp on are largely production issues!!

MrCrackles:
Two inept industries wanting to work together will be nothing but disastrous!

Hmmm Brash!! I doubt it but have you seen Slumdog Millonaire?
If you haven't, It walked away with eight Oscar!!
Made up totally of all Indian/Bollywood cast but mostly British/American/Hollywood crew!!

There is nothing wanted of Nigeria in terms of HR and creativity that won't be found
We may pick holes with out distribution network, quality of movies, technology and finance
But i must tell you that most of these issues can and are already being surmounted.

I don't see why Nollywood characters can't interprete a Hollywood or Bollowood Script. . . .we are our own problems
We rile and fail to appreciate ours while congratulating others (yes they deserve it). If we are able to dominate the African Movie and entertainment , we can also dominate the world scene. I don't see a lot of Nollywood movies but we just need to surmount little challenges and we are there. As for the finances, lets fight and defeat the Alaba boys. After that we can measure the level of success.

We'll surely get there.
If Akon, Wyclef and Tuface have done Collabos with why not Jim Iyke, Stella Damasus and tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie and Eddie Murphy.

I can remember one Lawyer Arsenal fan in my area. . . .the guy so hated bendtner that he believes you don't need a GK if Bendtner is the striker!

LOL at topic
LWKM!!!

So if you see poster asking you to jump into the Lagos Lagoon, you go jump in abi?

Also if you see bank or company advert stickers and respond to them nko?

The case get as e be. . . . finally, police go collect money fromt he guy release am!!!

Are you an AJEBOTA or AJEPAKO? Please read below to know and tell us your level:

1. If every morning after you wake up, your folks give you a hug and a kiss before sending you off to school, then you might be an AJEBOTA. But if them toss you beta slap for not kneeling down or prostrating "properly", you are definitely PAKO! Like my guy wey im papa ask am one day; NA GREET YOU DEY GREET ME ABI YOU DEY TRY CATSH SHICKEN?

2. If as a young lady, before you even dare stepping outside you put on at least a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with a face cap on with matching sneakers, you could pass for an AJEBOTA. But if you repeatedly nonchalantly tie only wrapper round your chest, u throway leg inside foam slippers and waka go Mama Bomboy kiosk to buy maggi seasoning cube, your PAKONESS don attain xtra height.

3. If your folks, perhaps through an exclusive Country Club, introduced you to a variety of sports like cricket, golf or polo, we would agree that you're an AJEBOTA. But if motor don avoid jamming u repeatedly from either playing "ten-ten", "su-way" or "set (5 per side soccer)", no long thing when I just say u be HEAVY PAKO.

4. If your clothes were bought exclusively from abroad and you were wearing the latest and most popular name brands that made everybody else wonder, I will classify you as an AJEBOTA. But whereby you specialize for "Boskona" (trying your clothes in a makeshift stall before you purchase) pricing, you are HEAVILY ENPAKIATED.

5. If you were the type to get dropped in school and picked up by a driver designated to do so by your parents, I'll qualify you as an AJEBOTA. But if you hold world record of flying "DANFO" and "MOLUE a.k.a. FUNKY TRAIN" in motion or jumping down before them even match brake and you no dey ever wound, I HAIL YOUR PAKO STANDS.

6. If you were familiar and current with the latest things in vogue, I'll rate you as an AJEBOTA. But if the 1st day you see person wear NIKE chucks and you begin wonder why im put yoruba girl name untop am, PAKOISM don skatta your head.

7. If you ever toasted a girl/guy speaking perfect Queens English with the latest "fo-ne" slangs and acting "all cool", I think you fall into the AJEBOTA category. But if your type dey approach babe/bobo with tribal mark wey no even sabi ordinary "is & was", you con mix am with your very strong and conk native dialect and you still dey try to show yourself with "ibon (bad English)" for the small grammar wey you think say you know, you are genetically enPAKIlised.

8. If you either have a dry cleaner that picks up your family clothing and returns them washed, ironed and folded, or maybe you personally take them there to get the same job done, or you have a washing machine in the house and maid who finalizes the rest part, we'll fit you into the AJEBOTA clan. But then, if you dey use one full iron bucket of OMO to soak your "cloth (plural for cloth in pidgin)", den u spread untop concrete-slab for "super scrub" with Kongi soap to hustle that troublesome collar, dip in back & forth until e turn to milk colour, hand-squeeze am with your upper bodi facing 1 direction while d cloth face d opposite direction, snap and flap d cloth in mid-air like 15 times to discharge (remove) d wrinkles before u use "wooden peg" to hold am for back-yard rope or better yet, lay am over your corrugated iron fence, NNA MENNNNNNNNN, your PAKO level don nearly cross perfect 10!!!!!!!!

9. If you happen to do emergency laundry for an outfit you need to wear in a very short while, you pop it into a dryer and hit buttons to get it ready, some how, some way, you're an AJEBOTA. But if after washing, u squeeze it out, carry towel, roll am inside d towel and another person dey d other end make una for pull with force to drain d water come outside (what we refer to as "TOWEL DRYING" in KC), and den finally u use your coal iron steam-dry am, u be PAKO oooooo!!!!

10. If every summer after school your idea of a holiday is looking forward to yet another trip to Jand or Yankee, you are an in-born AJEBOTA. But if u begin jump up because say una dey go village for New Yam Festival and hunting seasons dey coincide, hence u fit finally throway your "Egungun" outfit and flex d new 1, no vex when I say u be PAKO.


Footnote: So what is wrong in being PAKO? The lessons of life are in the end on the street,



Warning:if PAKO changes,it can become BOTA, but if BOTA changes, na PAKO, enjoy

MrCrackles:
What question did Sharo-Wiwa ask me?
Who gave ya'all the authority to sub-let or sub-lease?
Answer me now before i wham bang you!

You don't have the right to do the highlighted either. . . . . for the love of God, na we be EPL oga. na we hold the yam and knife
If we cut for you, you chop if not, you go hungry!!


[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=270819.msg4069578#msg4069578 date=1245680319]Would you guys stop the banter if i offer y'all the EPL title next season? [/quote]Now Brashy speak on their behalf or. . . . . .

As the Landlord of the EPL, its our prerogative to sub-let it in part or in whole
So answer Sauron's question and stop questioning out authority.
The Departure of Tevez and CR7 doesn't confer the EPl or any trophy for that matter on Arsenal.

E nwero zi m ike i kowa ihe n'eme ebea!!
Anyi a na alparita ububo n'eke amamihe, k'anyi abiara ichu nwanyi?
Ifyalways, gi bu ebe a gbadoro ukwu nwere n'ekwuputa okwu ihunanya niile a!
Ama kwam n'o bu ezigbo ihunanya di nkea maka o nwere k'o ga eluo, o buru ihe ese m'okwu.
Nkea putara ka anyi ghara egwuri m'egwu kuo n'ubi onye anyi biara. . . . .


Ihe onyo nyo ndi unu tuputa siri amakacha. O gosiputara na ndi be anyi n'eti egwu apuolari na mba uwa!!
ka anyi nye ha nkwado ma gbaa ha ume. Asi m ndi nyoputara ihe onyonyo ndia na weebusite ebe e tinyere ha; Ji di nu k'unu ji
Maka na onye asi ya jide k'o ji, ya mara n'ihe o na eme di nma!!!

KA CHINEKE MEZIE OKWU!!!

Pls Forumites, i found this rather educating, soul searching but also funny.
Pls click on the link below and feed your brains. . . . . .


http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/reuben-abati/a-nations-identity-crisis.html

Na wa ooh!! 700k per car.

OP
Just cleared a 2003 Toyota 4Runner for 350k and had it in 5days. I think it was the fastest the agent has done for me.
I have had to very sad experiences with containerised cars.
They didn't only take longer, i paid demurhage on them and heavy one at that.
The congestion then didn't help matters. Ship arrived first week of March but i didn't get the containers until a week before Easter.
It was very frustrating. . . . . . . but thank God it wasn't as bad a what happened to me last december when i had to clear a container twice.

Till further notice, i won't do Containerised again. if you wanna do RORO pls try and use Grimaldi. PTML i think has the safest RORO terminal.

kablooee:
sorry about that emperoh, you do not to send it down to UK, we can get the code from the eeprom dump if you send the radio to us you. it will cost you far less than that.
send me a mail
info@adeizaautos.com
08059988889

emeshot:
dont rush i will get you help on monday.i have been out of town for days now.monday my numbe is 08034466531

Guys, Copy that. . . . . .will follow up!!

Emeshot, remember me? I was the guy that checked out your red Baby boy two weeks ago with a friend.

I just hope his advisors are not misleading him
He had a great stint with the club and i had expected him to stay given the success he achieved within a short period of two years.
All the same, he is very replaceable. . . . lets see who United gets.

JK
Everything are stil speculations
Until Real Pays for CR7, we can't readily say this is whats gonna happen.

Also there really isn't much to debate about hence the dry thread
Consequently, you can see fellow Mancs of the qualifiers thread and the Confederations Cup thread!!!