₦airaland Forum

What exactly is Samuel Ortom doing there?

Ebubechuwku:
Your name wan sound like Hennessy, na wetin make me rush to the post be that, I tot u dey share Hennessy...


Anyway, an average man is pisssed off in nigeria because of the situation of nigeria, which make it difficult to be practising all what you mentioned up there..

Some people will pass aggression to their love one when they arr frustrated.

Well, we can learn to practise all the aforementioned things, practise make perfect....

Lmao @Hennessey

true all you've pointed out. And yes practice makes perfect

femi4:
Get married and free yourself from this guilt

Its a psychological thing like someone mentioned above, even if he gets married he might still feel same not with the "looking ugly" thing, but might attribute any hurdle he faces to being married and procreating with the wrong woman.

BTW I just feel he is messing around with the topic tho

A lot of us are guilty when it comes to showing affection to our partners, and that is why most issues in relationship stem from the lack of or frizzled affection between partners.

These days, people hold back from letting their feelings show as a result of several named and unnamed issues at the borders of life, and by so doing neglect those that really matter.

If you’re guilty of not showing enough, you can change course with the following ways.

1)Do not Hold Back Compliment

We are all aware of the power of compliment on us as humans; it can change the meanest person, it can even fix a person's sour day.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter how aware you think your partner is of their looks, success, and strength. Complimenting them can change their total outlook on themselves and the relationship.

A recent study shows 70% of people who cheat on their partners do so, when they feel noticed and complimented by others.

2) Accept your partner the way they are

Another important way of showing affection is accepting your partner the way they are. Accept them for their weird taste in art, style and dead sense of humour. Remember; it’s these things that got you interested in the first place. Accept their individual strength and weakness.

3) Appreciate them

As humans, appreciation is essential to us feeling loved. Sadly, a lot of people in relationships are starved of this, and cannot recall the last time their partners appreciated them for anything.

Set the tone by verbalizing yours in your ‘ship.’ What you don’t know is a little ‘thank you’ can go a long way in making a person want to do more and better.

Criticism is an essential tool for growth in relationships, but becomes a malfunction if taken to the extreme.

I know there is the need for us to be critical with our words, just for the aim of pushing our partner to become a better person or like the next person we secretly admire. According to Psychotherapist and Sex Therapist Caitlyn Cantor "It is what you do with criticism that determines whether it will build closeness or not."

1) Accept your partner’s individuality

This is a significant component of growth, that helps in the smooth sail of a 'ship.' But if your method of achieving growth is by demeaning your partner and comparing them to every Dick, Harry and Jane, you gain nothing. Remember as humans our strength and motivation differ.

Accept your partner’s weakness and strength; do not force them into becoming who they are not, just to fit into your little picture of a perfect person. This has caused a lot of problems in relationships.

2) Correct with love

No one is infallible, we all strive after it. If your partner accept your beliefs and way of life, even if they're very different from theirs, then its time you borrow one or two pages from their book.

The point is, when you blow up, avoid raising your voice, or spitting out words that might hurt them.

3) Guide your partner to become a better person

One of the biggest problem in our (relationship) world today, is that a large percentage of us make the mistake of forcing people we are with into someone they’re not. Rather guide them to become a better version of who they already are.

Your duty is to be your partner’s biggest cheerleader, be sure to feel confident for two, when they feel less about themselves.

4) Create a safe haven

Above all, you’re supposed to be your partner’s safe place, the one person they come to relaxed and forget everything bothering them. Your partner’s utmost desire is to feel safe with you not anxious, intimidated or inadequate.

Finally, accept your partner's flaws with less judgment.

The hotel room like one of those poor Asian countries like Nepal or somewhere worse, sad where someone's daughter will follow a man just for the bragging rights of having left the shores of Nigeria

First did you even ask what he thinks, he'd probably dreamt of a house full of kids, Secondly, he could be an only child or son and would want lots of babies. I feel what you're asking is selfish and for you going over board by refusing to pick his call is worse

Mercychen:
My ex is a definition of a well groomed man. Yes, he's an ex now but I can't stop talking about him because he made a great impression on me and I still make boast to say it any where. He was well groomed.

From his nails, his goaty( lower beard) to his teeth, very neat. His dentition is so amazingly arranged, sparkling white and shiney. ( I got same too) not all these cave man multicolor teeth I see around these days that look like they're coming to get you. Lol.

His clothes are always crisp and clean. His apartment and sorrounding, you would think it's a five star hotel suit. No masculine smell or odour anywhere around him or his apartment. Maybe because he's not hairy.

Abeg, he's neat.

Men should take their hygiene seriously because that masculine smell/odour is a huge turn off and it's common among hairy guys. Maybe that's why I'm no longer thrilled about having a relationship any longer.

Same goes for the women too.

You're not over him, and if not careful this might affect your relationships in future because you'd keep comparing him with anyone you meet.

Tyler Perry's 'A Fall From Grace' comes to mind

Just wondering what will become of Demi after 2023

DSC7:
I have been thinking of connecting with her but i remembered that she deactivated all her previous social media handles due to her job...

She is the understanding type but I can't say same with dat my bro.....

I fit tell am now make he just flare up...

Its better you tell him before the wedding Nd he flares up than keeping it away from him and somehow he gets to find out, trust me he will, and if he does he'll l never trust you again.

Where did you see the rape part in my post. Have tried to but I didn't succeed because she scratches me it was very painful so I slapped her very hard out of anger and I left the house for a few hours. I have apologised to her she forgave me because it has not happened before it was the devil and I regret my actions. I need is advice not insult

You assaulted her, and you're here justifying nonsense who knows if you went beyond that. I suspect there is more to this story, and you rushed here to share your side first. Because na who report matter first police dey support.

She is getting worked up over nothing, her father in-law found love and companionship in the weirdest place, the least she can do is be happy. Her husband knows supporting his father's decision means they keep living the luxury life they have. Sometimes you just have to know what side of your bread is being buttered and SHUSH

Your motive for vengeance makes no sense. You said she had fun in school which was in the "PAST" and from your story its plain to see she's not that way again. All I see here is a man looking for an excuse to Cheat on his wife

Vanilla4:
Not necessary me catching the person, if I noticed such it's red flag.

Ohh..okay

Vanilla4:
Sharing strong emotional bond with another (man or woman)

Kisses, touching and other inappropriate stuff, including texts.

Etc

Okay, you're all about catching the person in the act

MrBrownJay1:
the minute a babe thinks of cheating and/or fantasizes about cheating..... thats cheating in my book.
the minute a babe plans to cheat... thats cheating in my book
the minute a babe is talking to another man about cheating together.... thats already cheating in my book

Looks like a page in my book too

We all have weird, funny, serious things that counts as cheating. So let's hear it, what really counts as cheating in your book?

You're already giving yourself reason to cheat by outlining your wife's bad side, put yourself in her husband's shoes if you are away and another man decides to do same with your wife how would you feel.
. You need to talk to a counsellor WhatsApp 07032423546

Relationships are not always easy, but it should be a ground to become a better partner.

Life itself is a learning ground and so is relationship, no one is a champion at it, we learn from our past experiences and are still learning from the present. There is always room to learn more, and I hope these six ways of becoming a better partner helps someone learn some more.


1) Self Evaluation

Relationship requires work, and if you want to be a better partner, you have to observe and analyze your actions in order to improve where you're lagging. Ask yourself some important questions such as; Are you doing things that are as annoying as your partner? Are you hurting them more than you feel they're hurting you?

By asking these questions, you might realize you're doing the exact things you complain about, the only difference being that your partner is matured enough not to whine about it.


2) Be Mindful of Your Words

These days, we are all dealing with endless amount of stress from virtually every areas of our life and most times its easier for us to take it out on our partners when angry, by saying things or using words we might regret.

When angry, tame your tongue, do not use harsh words, do not use words that demean your partner, if they respect you enough not to call you names in the middle of a heated argument, then you shouldn't.

Discuss disagreement in a healthy way without yelling.


3) Listen More

Listen to what they are saying and the unsaid things. Sometimes its not what is said, but what is held back. It is important you find the meaning behind words and actions they try so hard to hide.

It might surprise you that your partner is aching in a certain way or traumatized from past experience, and if you don't ask why he/she repeats a certain behavior you might never know.


4) Sacrifice

Relationship basically entails sacrifice, giving up things for the good of the relationship. Whatever it is you do and you realize causes turbulence in the "ship" it is important to drop it.

5) Apologize

When wrong apologize. Having a steel heart that doesn't acknowledge your wrong is unhealthy. It is even worst when you try to justify your actions when you hurt your partner.

One important way of becoming a better person is acknowledging your wrong.

6) Spend Time Together

Spending time together is very crucial to every relationship. Make it a point to try to check in everyday and show affection that is if you're both busy people.

Spend at least five hours doing things you both enjoy doing together, when you get to see. This will help in making your "ship" sail strong. While together remember, to affirm your love for each other, do not hold back how you feel.

.

Emmanuel909090:
Learning

Welcome aboard

A few weeks back, I made a post on the aforementioned topic, and received more than a dozen emails and direct messages asking me to "broaden the topic."

So, here we are. This is my little effort at making the said topic "broader." I will be direct as usually. ('Cause I can't help myself)

Most times I'd rather leave the topics short and simple so the message I'm trying to convey is not lost. For everyone who asked for more, this is for you.
Fingers crossed every missing tidbit in the last post is found here.

1) You're in Charge of your emotions

Truth is, anger can make you say or do things you'd probably regret. Always remember that you're in control when it comes to your emotions and not the other way. If you can remember this forgiveness comes easily.


2) Focus on what you love about your
partner

If you're struggling to forgive your partner for something big they did, it might be time to reflect on the things you love about them. Compare and contrast, ask yourself if whatever they did is worth ending your relationship for.


3) Focus on the moment

When dealing with an erring partner a good percentage of us make the mistake of remembering all other similar things they did wrong in the past. The easiest way to forgive is to focus on what happened at the moment.


4) No perfect relationship

Every relationship has its struggle. An important pathway to forgiveness is for both partners to genuinely look at how they must have fanned the embers of the problem. I made similar statement in the previous post.

Blaming your partner for everything that goes south in your relationship will affect them negatively and this is not a solution.


5) Move past the offense

Forgiveness is easy when you forgive and let go of hurt. If your partner is sincere enough in admitting they're wrong, and genuinely apologizes, then its important you choose to forgive and try as much as you can to forget just for the sake of what you feel for them.

Our society is striving and a lot of people have fallen to the prevailing hardship and are unable to provide for their financial and material needs.

With the current situation there is an urgent call to create a prudent and safe residual income to help one attain a desired financial freedom. Having a monthly source of income is not enough, you need to put plan in place to create multiple streams of legimate income, one way to do that is by network marketing.

You might ask, what is network Marketing? Network marketing is a simple referral system that earn you commission and incentives by bringing people. Not as easy as it sounds though, but I'll be sharing four tips on how to become successful as a network marketer.


1) You want to create wealth

This should be the number one thing on your mind. Your aim is to get a few people do things to create wealth.

First you have to find prospects and be able to convince them, the trick is the less you say, the more they hear. this does not come easy, you have to understand this is a process-- be consistent, persistent and learn while earning.


2) Treat it like a job

Just as you try to do the right thing with your job by being committed, dedicated and diligent so as not to get thrown it, you need same attitude in network marketing.

Learn how to manage your time, always remember it's a process do not get worried or stressed out when things are not going as fast as you were told it would. Be patient how you would on a job.

3) Learn to manage your emotions

Learn not to get emotionally attached to results, you can't control the result, but you can control the process that leads to it.

Do not compare yourself or down liners to others before you or them.

4) Don't quit

Strategize like a general would in a battle, lay out your plan, work to bring your plans alive, also review your plan daily. Finally, fix your eyes on the ultimate goal which is all the mouth watering commissions.

Sonnobax15:
Nice one op

Thank you

yammz:
Having someone you love and always wish to spend time with is an amazing feeling everyone wish to experience.

True that

chatinent:
Nice one.

Thanks..

[quote author=chatinent post=105770493]Nice one.[/quote


Thanks...

Having a near perfect relationship begins with you, I use the word "near perfect" because alot of people out there believe the concept of a perfect relationship is an illusion.

The truth of the matter is, having a perfect relationship have nothing to do with you as a good person. You can be good and get put down by people you love, they fall in love with at first and then want you to become something else.

Often times, these things have little to do with the person you are with. You have to see and treat yourself in a certain way before the other person can . Below are steps on improving yourself in a relationship.

Mental pictures

It all starts in your head, imagine and create a successful picture about yourself and relationship, see yourself in control of your life, see your relationship working out well, see who you will become, do not be scared of how big all these look in your head.

Work on your self esteem

This largely determines what happens in your life {how much you like yourself} A lot of people today scream "self love" but in reality have zero confidence in themselves. They hate everything about themselves, and want to be like the next person.

You have to love yourself enough before it can be transferred to someone else.The truth is, how you feel about yourself is how you'll act in a relationship.

Simple ways to work on yourself esteem, repeatedly say "I like myself" before you start the day or write down things you like about yourself.

Be yourself

A lot of people have find it difficult being true to themselves especially in the early stage of relationship, this mostly to impress their partners.

Funnily enough, when it comes to character you can only pretend for a short time before the real you jumps out. The fact of the matter is, be yourself, love and accept you the way you are.


Positive self talk

Before you can believe in your partner, you have to be able to believe in you, trust your journey, speak positively to yourself. This statement can be said out loud or inside. Change the negative voices in your head, rather learn to be your own fan.

Healthy living

Eating a healthy diet and exercising is very important. Staying healthy should be at the top of your priority list, you can't control everything, but your habits and approaches taken towards your health can often make a whole lot of difference.

The point is, eat healthy and exercise often.

Most times we act strong before family and friends selling the wrong impression that our relationships are heaven made while we die slowly.

We all need someone to unburden to, and in most cases some people feel more comfortable talking to a total stranger knowing their secret are safe.

We all need someone to unburden to.

Need someone to talk to.