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Amna1:
Hello fellow nairalanders please i need your humble opinion on something that has been bothering me for the past decade.


Growing up life was smooth for us all as i came from a family of 5 and i was the second to the last born,my family was middle class so we lived quite a comfortable life which was short lived by the passing away of my father and ever since life has been one hell of a hardship after another. shortly after the death of my father we left lagos for our village and that was the start of all our hardship. I was just 9 years old at that time and for whatever reason my mum took it upon herself to make me suffer as she would deliberately starve me for up to 3 weeks and even deny me entry into our own home for no tangible reason,so right from age 9 i started hustling for food like most street and homeless children do and mind you we had all sorts of food at home and any time i was at home she would tie me up and give me bloody beatings and sometimes i would go unconscious as a result of those beatings as she used to hit me with anything her hands could hold even metal bars.....so i started avoiding home by all means as it was the last place on earth i could really call home and now I'm around 27 years of age and i don't want anything to do with her as anytime i remember her i would feel really sad and my heart heavy asl.i can go months without hearing from her as we now live in different states.....and she still lives in my head rent free as i always remember her before i go to sleep crying.i try to preoccupy myself with learning useful skills like programming but funds are my major hindrance but i still bust my ass every day to make a decent living and make sure i give my kids the life they deserve full of love and happiness...........
Dear nairalanders please give me tips on how to forgive and forget all she did to me as i believe it'll only hold me back and don't recommend a therapist as i don't have funds for that.people who have been in similar situation pls help me overcome it and i have no close family members to talk to about it as you know family ties these days thanks very much........

Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Farano
Rocktation
Mods front page please

There is this verse in The Lord's Prayer that i always strive to live my life by and it goes like this " Father forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespasses against us " i know it hard to do but it's also simple. Here is my first advice to you , the second one..

Due to curiosity and a chance at full closure on the matter, go visit your mother wherever she is with an elderly person from your mother or father family or someone you know she trust and listen to and raise this issue with her, asking her for forgiveness if you have in any way hurt her but take care not be aggressive or forceful while at it..

Now my advice above should be taken under advisement. I pray God bless you and lead you to the right step to take in Jesus name.

Rokiat:
Honestly this is commendable because it is very rare for a man to help a woman without expecting anything in return.

This is shocking.

You think is rare because some people don't like noise and most of them don't expect anything in return it is your fellow sisters who think otherwise and start sending unnecessary signals

Please add me to the group
07013868090 thanks.

Me am interested in training. How do i go about it? My location is Lagos

Escabado:
A Nigerian Lady Identified as Elohor Okudu narrates how her husband has refused to help her own family members after paying almost N580k bride Price.



She wrote: “I got married 8 months ago, my hubby earns 70k monthly while I am yet to get a job, during our wedding ceremony, hubby spent about 580k on the list given to him for the traditional wedding, I persuaded my parents to reduce the list but they said it is a must and a tradition.”

“He raised the money alone as I wasn’t working and I was unable to help monetarily. After the marriage I recommended that he ought to send something month to month to my parents as he do ship off his parent as well, yet incredibly the answer he gave me was that he didn’t owe my parents anything that they have collected all they are entitled to from him, at first I was not furious about that, until my yonger brother needed to get married and his lady family gave him rundown of things for the conventional wedding which is added up to 400k.”

“My father at that point shared the costs and advised my significant other to contribute 120k towards my sibling’s wedding however incredibly, my better half said no and revealed to me that my family has gathered all they needed during our wedding and they shouldn’t come to him for any money related help this got me furious and I disclosed to him that he is not responsible.”

“Since that time, we have been living like outsiders in the house, he doesn’t converse with me, he has quite recently been minding his own business, and I have never seen him this way not even in our 2 yrs of dating. kindly advise me on what to do to savor the situation

Am shocked reading this your epistle; 580k on list of item demanded including bride price, if we now add the money spent on menu menu and other essential like wedding clothes and all, then the total money spent will be going to a million naira all from a monthly salary of 70k? And to capped it all, you are currently not working
and as such you can't support him financially but have you try to ask and know how he was able to raise such an amount of money? Is through his life saving and loans? Have you try to ascertain if he is undergoing any pressure as a result of the expenses made and apply a soothing balm no matter how small it is? Hmm! It is well.

My advice make peace with your husband and let your family know that you people are under pressure as a result of the expenses made during your wedding and as such you guys need to get yourself together. Please don't start what you can't finish oh.

Abeg which part of isoko or urhobo you are from because as far as i know they don't charge high like this for bride price including the list of items.

Good morning sir and ma'am,. Hope you all add a wonderful night rest ?

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Abeg come finish am

AndSunGorilla:
My top three are

Chigozie Agbim
Biodun Baruwa omo Alhaja and
Akpere

Guy are you sure this are you best 3 abi you dey pull my leg?

DaHrNn0001:
You are a rare kind,a different breed of ideology... Even with your husband jobless, you still respected his place in the family and worked together with him... May God bless you,keep your home and give your husband a good job to pay off for the house... Kudos

AMEN.

doggedfighter:
The tides are turning

No tide is turning sister, its just that men are too ashamed to come out as they will be make jest of.

Nothing wrong in congratulating okowa aka Mr Road Master but you people should be ashamed.

So that you people will finish him totally abi? Let him be and enjoy his largess in peace with his family.

edoairways:

That is why Delta state is still crawling in terms of development

Thank you and the most unfortunate thing is, they are celebrating it.