₦airaland Forum

@gabrywyl
dnt push me

wer d baby??
na d pikin i wan chop. . .

DONT MIND DEM JO,
UR JOKE WZ - - - T I T E!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
JOKE OF D CENTURY!!!

clems, u r nxt

@ every1
tank u. .
tank u. . .
tank u all very much. . . .
u see, its all such hard work and am glad ya'll recognize,
part 3 will be out soon,
ITEUN!!!
wer r thou??

WELCOM BAC NURSY
MY NEW HALF YEAR RESOLUTION IS TO RUN ITEUN DOWN. . .
AS U CAN SEE,
ITS A WORK IN PROGRESS,
BT WE R GETTIN DER,
ODAS MAY FALL ALONG D WAY TOO. . .
SAM MILLA. . .
IBKAYE. . .
SAUCEKID. . .
IFYALWAYS. . .
GUNPOINT. . .
AND MAYBE EVN U,
BT LUK AT D BIGGER PICTURE,
ITS ALL 4 GREATER GUD!!!

For all of u who wer waitin 4 d part 2 of Iteun's Sign Undastndin,

ENJOY!!!





Iteun was at table for his breakfast and asked the grandma Clems, where his mum(Ifyalways) and dad(Sam Milla) was. The granny replied that they were still in bed! iteun smiled, ate his breakfast and went to play.

At lunch time the stupid boy returned and asked granny the same question. They are still in bed, Clems replied. The stupid kid laughed again, had his lunch and went to play.

At dinner time he returned. Where is mom and dad? They are still in bed, grandma Clems replied. The boy burst into laughter for the third time.

Clems could not bear it any more; What is wrong with you boy!!! Each time I tell you your parents are in bed, you burst into laughter?

Iteun explained: Last night daddy came to my room and asked for Vaseline. I gave him Super Glue, !!!


I no fit shout

Jeovy:
am still waiting for explanation to what just happened 

@jeovy
waitin. .
waitin. . .
waitin. . . .
waitin. . . . .
dats y u no undastnd wetin happpen in d 1st place,
wit cha pentium o.1 brain,
okoro teeth,
and fantasy football face,
kid to put it to u in 1 sentence,
CHA JUST GAT PUNKED!!!
   

@ibkaye
ha!!!
bt u said u liked it na. . . .


@infobaba
sorry

U NA. . .
AFTERALL NA ME BORN U. .

BABY
Y R U CRYIN??

Iteun just returned from a trip and as soon as he stepped into his house, after the usual welcome thingies, he asked his younger nephew, Jeovy, if everything was alright in the two days he'd been away.

"Ha, Uncle, Praise God!" he said, "In fact, I want to give a testimony at Church on Sunday! A strange thing happened when u left,  Alright ke, hmmn, everything was not alright o". Slightly curious, Iteun asked, "so what happened Jeovy?"

"Soon after you left on Friday, Uncle Equlibrium from next door came to see Aunty Ibkaye. We were in the sitting room watching Cartoon Network and I slept off.

But when I awoke, I couldn't find them both. I searched everywhere: kitchen, toilets, garden and still I didn't find them. I became scared,  and then I heard some murmur coming from you and Aunty’s room.

"It was dark inside and I couldn't see them well at first from the door.


But I guess Aunty Ibkaye was mad at something because her eyes were gleaming.

Then I think she was feeling sick and nearly fainted and Uncle Equlibrium started breathing in her mouth, just like we were taught in P. E. Class.

And then it got serious because he started having trouble getting her mouth and kept trying to hold her head in place and all that.

"She must have nearly died because he started to feel her heart! He had trouble finding it and he started feeling all over her body, inside her clothes to find it! At a point he even started using his mouth, looking for it all over: her thighs and all!

By then aunty was so sick, she was just moaning and moving here and there. Uncle Equlibrium too was becoming infected and he started grunting like Balu the bear in Jungle Book, !

"Suddenly I saw it, Uncle Iteun, I saw it! I saw the demon that possessed them all the while.

A black, thick, snake-like demon came out of Uncle Equlibrium's pants, standing strong and rude! They paused for a second, and then Aunty Ibkaye got brave and decided to bite it to death.

It was a fierce battle as she struggled with it. It kept going in and out of her mouth and Uncle Equlibrium was cursing softly all the while.

Eventually, the demon surrendered and started bleeding white,

"Then, Aunty Ibkaye tugged it several times and slapped it, I don't know why she did something that silly or stupid, because,  the demon got angry and strong again!

Then Uncle Equlibrium and Aunty Ibkaye joined forces and started squashing it between them.

They squashed and squashed again. It was so bad! He was growling this time like an enraged gorilla and she kept saying all sorts.

For some time she kept blaming him for the trouble saying, "Oh Equlibrium, you've killed me, you've finished me, I'm finished" some times, she was begging God for more power, "Oh Lord, Oh God, give it to me, give it to me !"

And truly, after a long while, the demon died, bleeding a creamier white this time.

"They just lay there tired. Uncle Equlibrium and Aunty Ibkaye,  and were just talking in low tones.

Suddenly, I think the snake-bite became worrisome, and aunty became sick again. Uncle Equlibrium started to look for her heart once again and then, oh my God, the demon resurrected! This time, it was aunty who took charge.

She put it right under her and started sitting on it. It was biting her and she kept yelling and jumping and sitting and Uncle Equlibrium was then begging for God to intervene.

He just sat there holding aunty and calling God several times.
Truly God was faithful and The Demon finally died.

Aunty slumped across him and they both fainted there for a long time!

"When they awoke, Aunty Ibkaye said she was concerned about something and Uncle Equlibrium brought a rubber hood out. He said truly, they should have used it.

Maybe they could have just strangled the demon instead,  but on the other hand that they could always blame the infection from the bite of the demon on you anyways….

"Uncle Iteun, hmmmm… I must give testimony in Church on Sunday! If not for God, imagine!

And I must say, you have a brave wife in Aunty Ibkaye!"

Tessybaby, realising that the housemaid Ifyalways had started behaving funny, decided to engage her one morning.

Tessybaby: "Ify why you don begin dey behave anyhow these days? E be like say u no wan know ya matefor this house again o! Face no dey fear face for that  ya Onitsha village?"Abi you don carry craze for head?

Ify responded immediately: "Look at you, you call yourself Madam, which kind wife wey u be? Afterall my food dey sweet pass your own, "

Tessybaby: "Ehn!!!!! Who told you that you cook better than i do?"

Ify: "Na Oga Sammy Milla now, "

Tessybaby: "Lord have mercy!!! Papa Iteun, ??!!!!!!!!? you will come and meet me in this house today, Na war between me and am today. Ohoooo no wonder,  I don dey suspect this thing since, "

Ify: "No be all be that o, , I even better pass you for bed, "

Tessybaby: "Yeepa, !!!!!!!!!,  I'm finished!!! So,  Papa Iteun told u such thing too?"

Ify: "No, Na Oga driver Broda Ben-Jay talk so."

Tessybaby: "Uhmm, Ify baby, Ifyerry Ifylosky, come here ehn,  Good girl. Abeg no let Oga hear that one. OK, "

      

^*hisses* goes bac to wip up mor anti Iteun sentiments

Iteun don hear'am 4 my hand dis time around!!!

Jeovy:
what is he driving?

i no say u no go skool bt let me explain,
driver---iteun
motor---ifyalways
does dat ans ur question??
mufus lik u!!

ok iteun, bring it on!!!


NEW MOVIE STARRING. . . .

EQULIRIUM---DIRECTOR

ITEUN---DRIVER

IFYALWAYS---MOTOR

OTHERS

SAUCEKID---PROPS

TURKEY---LUNCH

GUNPOINT---SECURITYMAN

IBKAYE---COOK/DUSTER

SAM MILLA---ASSISTANT/DEPUTY SECURITYMAN


ASARI DOKUBO---BOZZ

TOM ATEKE---ASST BOZZ

AND FINALLY

GUEST APPEARANCE BY

SEUN---DEPUTY ASSISTANT BOZZ

@jeovy
boi, if no b say me and ya papa na paddy,
i 4. . . . .
take time

and who ask u??

Cayon:
@ poster

Don't find it funny but rather insulting

SAM MILLA:
wait until i catch you equitosi

cant touch dis. . . .

y u dey laff??
i wz der,
do u hv any idea wat it took me 2 smuggle dis out??

aight ibkaye
nitey
till anoda time

OK IBKAYE
SAW UR HANDI WORK
You WANT WAR??

OK
OK
OK

You MAIL ME

@ JEOVY
GUY DNT PUSH ME

DAN ISKA KOWE
IN NA KAMA KA!!
MAI GASHI GOMA!!!

OK, U WIN
DO U HAV AN ACCOUNT WIT ANY OF DOZ RESTAURANTS??

BT Y

YAHOO,
HOTMAIL,
MSN,
EXCITE,
GMAIL,
ANY OF THOSE RING A BELL?

LOL
WER R You FRM,
ZAMUNDA??

can i ask u somtin else??