₦airaland Forum

abi na gunny?? i hear say him heart caput!!!

BABA MI!!!
Thank u, if u compliment, d rest of nlnd can burn 4 all i care!!!

aristo, u sim ta hav alot in comon wit da point, y dnt u apply 2 b his 1st madam??
e fit gree oh!

Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I
went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I
told the clerk I would like to have a license for
Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too." Then I
said, "But this is a dog!" He said he didn't care
what she looked like. Then I said, "But you don't
understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years
old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I
took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that
I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special
room for Sex. He said every room in the place was
for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps
me awake at night!" The clerk said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before
the competition began, the dog ran away. Another
contestant asked me why I was just standing there
looking around. I told him I had planned to have
Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold
my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I
said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called
me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to
fight custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I
had Sex before I was married." The judge said,
"Me too." Then I told him that after I was
married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours
looking around town for him. A cop came over
to me and asked, "What are you doing in this
alley at 4:00 in the morning?" I said, "I'm
looking for Sex."

My case comes up Friday.

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital
donation center.

Man: "What are you doing here today?"

Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood.
They're going to give me $5 for it."

Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to
donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."

The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and
they chatted some more before going their
separate ways.

Several months later, the same man and woman
meet again at the donation center.

Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"

Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed)
"Unh unh."

It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and
his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute,
loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with
straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and
pass in front of a very large gorilla, the
gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars,
holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting
and pounding his chest with the free hand. He is
obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy
dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests
that his wife tease the poor fellow. The husband
suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom,
and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets
even more excited, making noises that would wake
the dead.

Then the husband suggests that she let one of her
straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just
about to tear the bars down. Now try lifting your
dress up your thighs, this drives the gorilla
absolutely crazy.

Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the
hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her
in with the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you
have a headache."

A woman posts an ad in the paper that looks like
this:

Looking for man with these qualifications:
1. Won't beat me up.
2. Won't run away.
3. Great in bed.

She got lots of phone calls but met someone
perfect at her door. The man she met said, "Hi
I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up, I
have no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are
great in bed?"

To which Bob replies, "I rang the doorbell didn't
I?

Y r u guyz on dis guy's neck nw?? He sims to hav startd dis yr well bt wz deraild by som ppl, u go gunny, we gat ur back!!

A man goes to the doctors and says "Doc, you gotta
help me!" The doctor says "What's your problem?"

The guy says, Every morning I wake up with my
'morning flagpole', I give the missus a quick
one, then go to work.

On the way to work I car pool with the next door
neighbor's wife who gives me a Mouth Action during
the ride to work,

Once I get to work I do some work and at morning
tea time I go into the photocopy room and have
it off with the one of the young office girls.

At lunch I take my secretary out to a hotel and
give her a good bonking,

For afternoon tea I give the boss's wife a good
servicing,

I then go home and slip the maid a few inches,
Then at night I give the missus another screw,

"Well" said the doctor. "What's your problem?"

The guy says "Well, it hurts when I masturbate."

  , Gal says shes 39, u say make she stil take time out knw bobo?? Dem tell u say man dey that country
badbelle/witch full this  we land oh!!! (zoooooooommmmmmmmmmmsssss offfffffffff)

(Ofcos i b swit bobo to now, so i shuld really knw)

Vacancies stil open ohhhh!!!!!! Pls do apply

I lov it, as an engr myself, tink i'l post it to my subtracted rib dat sums my life up to a perfect square

kamsi, d tin b say i no knw if u b my chick wey i don lie abt d pay 2 already so i no go yan bt knw dis, its d best in d country, watevr u'v heard is paid elsewer, we xceed here, so hold dat ur zenith guy well

4 kenawo, most def u can write again, just go through d process all ova again, u shuld get shortlisted again, prepare beta nxt time and goodluck to u,          

Dis is 4 willy*2; U r a big fool, if u hav issues wit yorubas, com to Zenith heights, climb to the top and jump off, beta stil, jump in2 the lagoon! Wnt want u messin ma str up. Its nt our fault Yorubas are beta dan u wer evr the hell u r frm dimwit

NA me now so make una com get me!!!!!!!!!! Like say all of una no knw u run una dwn,   (Hiss and leaves tread)

nvr said dey dont make mony, said wat do dey pay, tel us Na, u had to leav dat ques unanswerd didnt u?? Mor pay dan banks my foot, ppl, ask around urselves!!!!!!!! But half bread is beta dan non!!!!!!!!

two dayz ooooh. But if went dat far and wernt calld, com dwn to HQ and find out Y, it just mite help u nvr knw

Pls dont waste ur energy, its nt worth it. NB: dnt walk dwn dat road cos once u start, dere's no walkin back, God deliver u my broda.

Pls 4 dose who stay far frm Lagos, 4get it, it aint realy worth it, advertising companies pay nxt 2 ntin and i challenge any lander who works in 1 to counter by tellin us his/her pay package!!!!!!!!!! But if it wnt inconvinence u, i say any job is beta dan ntin i guesss. Goodluck house mates,


Believe me, God deyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,

Tanx house, som infro i got here got me a job in zenith, i started monday ystrdy, i hav to tell u dey are stil heavyly in need of mor people. If u are bright and hav what it takes, the tin to do is bring your cv 2 head office, ajose adeogun str, VI yourself, ask 4 d HR office, if you're nt allowed beyond d reception, its ok, jst state your purpose and drop your CV there, God wil do d rest for you as He did 4 me. Do this quickly as i expect a heavy test season in Jan. Goodluck and see u in Zenith,
NB: The pay na DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE                  


Bone online registration!!!!!!!!!!!!

ben jay, ya dare diss ma tread? shey u b fine boy? well i gat news 4 u, ya finess go expire 31/12 2007 if u dnt retrace ur steps!!!! wit ya new year sandpaper face!!!!!

Comon landers, dont yall hv stuff ya wanna say to the house??

I may be fat but you're ugly,
and I can lose weight.

Politically Correct Holiday Greetings:

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive,
gender neutral winter solstice holiday, practiced
within the most joyous traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, and with respect for
the religious persuasions of others, or their
choice not to practice a religion at all.

And

A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the
generally accepted calender year 2008, but not
without due respect for the calenders of choice of
other cultures whose contributions to our society
have helped make Nigeria great, without regard to
the race, creed, religious, or sexual
preference of the wishes.

Love Equlibrium


Warning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This greeting is subject to clarification or
withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to
actually implement any of the wishes for
himself/her or others.

Had Zenith interview ystrday 19th nov, at their head office in VI, i want 2 use dis medium 2 ask all who present there ystrdy, if any1 gets an offer leta call frm dat particular interview session, pls let d house know. Good luck to evry1 who made it dat far,

Call it EFCC frm today

Bad chic, i no rotten like u , any oda ideas landers?

his guy has four daughters who all live at home.
One Friday night the doorbell rings. The guy
answers it and a kid standing there says 'Hi, I'm
Freddy. I'm here to pick up Betty. We're gonna go
eat spaghetti. Is she ready?' The man, mildly
amused calls down his daughter and the two leave.

A few minutes later the doorbell rings again and
he answers. A kid standing there says 'Hi, I'm
Jim. I'm here to see Kim. We're gonna go for a
swim. Can I come in?' The guy, now perplexed,
says yes and the two take off.

A few minutes later the doorbell rings and again
the father answers. A kid standing there says
'Hi, I'm Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo. We're
gonna go to the show. Can she go?' The man, now
kind of annoyed says yes and the two depart.

Sure enough, af few minutes later the door rings
and the father answers. A kid standing there
says 'Hi, I'm Chuck, '

Pls post ur opinions, wat do u fink chuck is after abeg?

Mr hassanic, u really stay in jos? i'l b ova there in a few dayz, will u post ur fone no or email add so i can reach u wen i com ova so we can do bizness face to face?

A man is in the dock, the Judges says, 'on the
3rd August you are accused of killing you wife
by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you
plead?'

'Guilty', said the man in the dock.

At this point a man at the back of the court
stood up and shouted 'You dirty rat!'.

The Judge asked the man to site down and to
refrain from making any noise.

The Judge continued 'and that also on the 17th
September you are accused of killing your son
by beating him to death with a hammer, how do
you plead?'

'Guilty', said the man in the dock.

Again the same man at the back stood up and
shouted 'You dirty rotten stinking rat'.

At this point the Judge called the man to the
Bench and said 'I have already asked you to be
quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I
will have to charge you with contempt of court.
I can understand your feelings, but please tell
me what relationship have you to the man in the
dock'.

He replied 'He is my next door neighbour'.

The Judge replied 'I can understand your feelings
then, but you must refrain from any comments'.

The man replied 'No, your Honour, you don't
understand. Twice I have asked if I could borrow
a hammer, and on both occasions he said he didn't
have one.'

monicamony, why so funny?
wats the best way 2 end racism? kill every one!!!!!!