₦airaland Forum

naenae sosa: I could not shake this emptiness..I knew my soul was damaged cos I wasn't capable of truly loving or getting close to anybody,my thoughts were always kinda dark,I was always in a state of competition with sumone,even tho I had everything I would still envy sumbody even tho I was d toast of a lot of pple.

I hated myself and d internal conflicts. Was hellish but I coped very well with d weedsmoking,drinking,partying,motivational book reading,money making,girl huntin g and friends..I had such an addictive and obsessive nature but the plus on that was I carried it into academics as well.
Then I met this girl...

@naenae sosa
great job.

@readers
We're not judging here, not arguing either. Just sharing what we feel/felt/experienced/experience in our walk/tumble with christ.
The aim is simply that like a buffet, we/you pick and chose which revelations are best suited for our/your peculiar circumstances.

Just like in the bible, not everyone is a prophet, neither is everyone a dreamer. Not everyone dey see winch, neither is it everyone that needs the gospel of wealth (afterall, BillGates no need am). Aethists no dey think of hell, neither is everyone interested in walking on water (me, I'd rather have the miracle of having a luxury cruise yatch than that of walking on water only once in my lifetime)

If we all move mountains literarilly, that mean say Kilmanjaro no go get resting place. Today in Kenya, tomorrow in Nigeria, the next in Ghana. If we all dey varnish, airplanes no go get money again.

This thread also opens my eyes to the fact that if the bible were to be written again, we would all have a place in it. Maybe that's why Revelation talks about our names in the 'book of life'

Everyman to his own revelation, everyman to a better unrestrained one-on-one relationship with God

pastormustwacc: All this thread e be like super-story to me.

yes o.
I guess we the 'bench warmers' also have our own stories to tell.
Hope it helps us better understand that despite our weaknesses and strengths, we are humans with individual christ relationship stories underneath the hood

Gracious10: OMG! where have I been? Keep'em coming!! @Esere, this NL is too small for what u got in that big head of urs . More of this kinda thread.

Ok, u got me
My head is actually literarily big

naenae sosa: Wow,this is the most interesting thread by far..esere I would love to talk to u one on one,your views are interesting..If people understood xtianity better more pple will be saved..I am a born again xtian and I like good stuffs,I like cars,I like powerbiking,I love photography,I love when life is dynamic n progressive.

I grew up in a xtian family but my parents weren't too serious about it,I remember sundays staying at hme with mom and sistas watching indian movies and eating good food but she was a discliplinarian nontheless.I remember going to church and hearing the sermon about hell and being pricked in my heart,I got born again a couple of time but it didn't last very long.

**rubs palms**, **brings out mat under the mangoe tree**
Oya, start ya story

Jesus superstar in 3D

While waiting for updates from madam, I thought to share an experience

In my wilderness days while searching the scriptures
I happened upon a particular passage in the new testament which I tried to unravel
(I cant remember the particular chapter or story)

In attempting this feat
I soon saw something glaringly missing in the bible
(or so I think)

The stories around Jesus seemed to convey a straight-faced man
one who was given only to shooting from the hips
no much smiles
with a halo on his head as he moved slowly
**Think Jesus movies, and you will understand what I mean**

This particular passage that I stumbled into (I cant remember where) in the bible paused me into a rethink of this strict concept of Jesus
I quickly imagined the questioner, rising up smiling and grinning like a youth in a university lecture theater
and asking Jesus, the lecturer, one or two questions
and jesus the lecturer answering back teasingly with the entire class laughing
but the message being passed accross

Woww!! Jesus was a human. And this humanity was most likely not completely captured in the bible as we know it
Somehow the writers or translator where more concerned with his 'holy' nature.

I could imagine Jesus konking the heads of one of his younger ones
or going to report his younger sister to their mum:
"mama, i saw angela in a dark corner with that boy from next door"


I could imagine Jesus jumping in excitement, laughing, running, joking, teasing, snoring
I could even imagine a babe eyeing him in his neighbourhood and thinking "what a waste" (maybe nas why na women cry pass wen dem one kill am)

What of if the gospel of jesus is full of such human-characteristical approaches?
but all we see is a strict 'holy', solitary man

Imagine your life being written about, some 100's of years from now, and all the fun parts being taken away


That got me thinking

kindabigg: wicherts.socsci.uva.nl/wicherts2010IQAFR.pdf

This simply shows the weakness and bias of the IQ test against cultures

Another issue i find interesting is having discussions with foreigners (Asians and Westerners)

They and us (my experience) are always thinking of what they can bring to Nigeria to sell.
I actually had to grab one on his knee to stop the direction of our conversation
I said to him "so we've talked about bringing stuff to Nigeria. What can we bring to your country from Nigeria to sell?"

He paused for a second or two, then said "crude oil"

I almost fell sick that day

bigx: For the staff issue, I think hiring family and friends is a contributory factor.

I was asking myself too barely a month ago when I went to get chicken at Zartech in Port Harcourt (a lebanese business I thought was Nigerian previously) why most of the long-term successful businesses in Nigeria are owned by Indians or Lebanese, you just spoke my mind here.
We really have a lot to learn from them.

Excellent example.

So what is it that drives such?
Is it that black folks accede more to their demand because of their skin colour?
Is it that they have some culture that drives prosperity?
Is it the way we are brought up? the parables we hear, but which are actually a reflection of our cultural nuances/indescretions?

For example, my dad always narrated a saying from his village:
"what use is there for a story of a man who set out on great adventures. He crossed a thousand seas etc" when you ask "where is this great man?" The answer you receive is that he died on his way back from the adventures

I soon noticed that not many from my dads village where rich, and quickly discarded this saying as being an integral part of a defeatist culture

@Glorious10

From your story and mine, we can see that angelic beings are now changing their dress sense. Suits!!

Uhmmmm ..interesting

But they should stop behaving like oyibo sha.
They need to wear agbada. Afterall, these look more like robes

The objective of this thrread is to help us examine and sieve out aspects of our culture that has the ability to hinder or promote our business growth both locally and internationally.

-It has the potential of seeking to find out why businessess domiciled in South Africa could more easilly be international than those domiciled in Nigeria
-The thread seeks to do away with generalization by actually digging deep into the construct of regional and global business success.
-In examining such nuances, we might soon discover why Youtube, LinkedIn are globally popular, while NairaLand is a ninch champion. Is this because of Seun's culture, or the culture of NairaLand's birth place, or a concious choice?
-What drives such a concious choice, is it still culture?

ochukoccna: Vague rationalizations
Expatiate more

I am trying to figure out why I (you might have seen the contrary) have never seen any Indian or Foreign businessman set up a retail shop in Nigeria and fail.

bigx: I don't hesistate to sack and pay off workers if there are any financial issues, most times the workers removed are even a contributory factor.

Good to know that this might only a figment of my imaginations. I have seen many occasions where nigerian businessmen hire staff, and with time, the staff end up being like part of their familly except they betray oga.

I know of a company right now that it is clear that some of the oga's top staff are incompetent (or not extremely efficient). But he still keeps them.

I do not think that Indian or lebanese businessmen will fill any sense of loyalty to their Nigerian staff.

aba Graciuos10. where's the rest part of your interesting story naw?

your baptism story is particularly funny

pastormustwacc: ^^^Jesus is not a businessman. He choses His words very carefully. And that will not be the first time that someone dead rises again in the bible.

Ok then. As you please
Sorry for my uninformed distraction

Gracious10: Wait a minute! R u implying that Abraham had a "plan B" before he obeyed God? Knowing he had ishmael. Whatever happened to the faith?

What is faith? Everyone has her understanding of faith

My own struggle in understanding this concept brought me into different realizations
1) Faith was described by jesus using a mustard seed
My own understanding was that this means it grows, but contains elements for a specific purpose

2)Abraham was described as the father of faith
My own understanding was that he was first called out from his land and people
What did he do?
He did go,
But he first took his dad and nephew along with him
He then dropped his dad
later he dropped his nephew

He was to have a son of promise. What did he do?
he had a son called Ishmael, while still making love to his wife untill they were advanced in age and she bore Isaac
Even after the death of Sarah, he took a wife Keturah who bore him 6 sons


In all of these he was called a friend of God. This to me is the most important information. It makes me see faith not as a rigid structure to be aspired to, but as a fruit of a direct relationship/friendship with God

Gracious10: Back home, I was being pressured in having an immersion baptism. It was huge war. I didn't even understand what i was being baptized for. Well I did go for the baptism but thank God I came out alive, cos the yeye water carry me dey go and the pastor baptizing me was so skinny, couldn't even swim nor hold me. It wasn't a nice experience as I drank enough water for 1yr. Dad never bothered me over baptism again.

Had same pressure for baptism from my mum. As far as my mum was concerened, she needed to do her bit so that if me an am stand before God during judgement I no go tok say my mama no lead me to baptism

Also, my water baptism was quite interesting

As my tall lanky teenage frame towered accross the pastor
threatening to tip over and drown him
He looked at me befuddled, stepped back to a safe distance
and screamed "Jump"

I was equally confused and looked around
what next I thought?
He jumped or stretched and pushed me from the back of my head
and I splashed into the water face forward
I hurriedly gasped for my breadth and escaped from the water

We all looked at ourselves, mum, dad, pastors co-baptizees
This was not baptism as we knew it.
You were supposed to be laid to rest backwards
and raised back upwards from the water

The pastor shrugged, and smiled to cover his embarrasment
"Neeeeeeeeeeext" he screamed

a big clap offering for Gracious10 for sharing. Halelu..... Halelujah

Gracious10: Elaborate on the issue of Adam and Eves disobedience. It's really interesting that u can set up a dialogue with God.

This is an issue that comes within a context. Its tough to just explain like that.

The first question you could ponder on is how did Adam and Eve look when there where ushered into our world?

The movies make them look like they were in their 20's abi?

Adam lived till about 930 years. When did the count begin? Was it from his matured creation? after eating the fruit?

What if Adam was created as a baby? Uhm who go look after am abi?
did he have an umbilical chord?

Gracious10: So if God insists that u marry one eyed ugly woman with reasons, will u still still say No? Since he knows better than us? Are u not afraid of the consequences? Abi, u go disagree with reasons as well?

Another excellent question from you
Apart from the fun part, lets look at this with more critical interest

**
If God tells you or I to make love to a snake, would we?
If God tells you or I to eat humans, would we?

For me, na argument I go enter with God for a long time be that. As in real argument, probably till I die. This does not mean a yes or no, neither will I feel a sense of guilt that i have not done the last thing he told me to do. We will discuss on other issues while holding off decisions on this particular one till later

**
If God gives reasons would we?

Now we're talking. We go discuss am well, well. And I guess in the process he will convince me well enough (come lets reason together he says). Just like he tried convincing Peter in his dreams to eat unclean things.

**
He knows better than us alright, are we not afraid of the consequences?

This is another good one.

Did u read about Abraham.
1) In the new testament, it is explained that Abraham knew that after killing Isaac, God will bring him back to life
2) In my own insight, Abraham had another son (ishmael) remember

***
In conclusion,
1) God (the Jesus revealed aspect) would not tempt you more than you can bear
2) He does not require that we fear him or any consequences (Even Moses in the old testament had a great relationship with him while the israelites where scared and perished after any small thing they do)
3) Who would give you God's command as at present?
the pastor?
abi na something u dont fully understand from the inside?,
abi na dreams?

Is it not through challenging/testing/arguing/critiquing/discussing a 'command' that you get to better understand it, and where it is from?
You see that it is therefore important you test it no know its source.


In my case, I challenged something that was sown strongly in me as a kid and grew up with me. I challenged it, and found out it has no roots in my destiny ..chikena
For some others, it might be theirs sha


Also, it is such strange obey 'commands' that people harken to that make them blow up plane full of people

@Frosbel

While not disputing or confirming your opening post. I would like to draw your attention to the story of lazarus and jesus. I am not in anyway intending to weaken your assertion that jesus describing lazarus to be asleep was a sign of afterlife peculiarities.

Another view of this is that Jesus chose the word 'sleeping' specifically for a reason. Notice that when his disciples pressed further, he ended up saying lazarus is 'dead'. Also notice that Jesus when he was going to heal a blind man also approached it in an interesting way. Whereas his disciples sought to pin the blame on anything available, christ simply said. This man is blind that that the works of God might be revealed in him

My insight into this is that Christ was channeling his 'mindset' into one for a miracle by redefining issues.
-A sleeping lazarus needed to be woken up
-a blind man was there at a particular time so that God's work will be revealed

Its almost like a businessman failing in a venture, and pressing on by redefining it as a learning experience

***Make una no vex o. Just thought to contribute my 50 cent ***

make una come tok una tory oooooooooo

This is not fair naw. I don tok my own, una no gree tok una own

@Gracious10
I guess that the point i am trying to make is that we must talk to God directly
No tradition, pastor, fear, nak.edness, sin, advice, "he too big we too small" etc should stop us from doing this

In fact, it is sometimes adviseable to talk to God like ones mate. Because when you start doing all those baba, egbon, creator of heaven and earth (he his already, ur saying it does not change it) we might end up in a fearful state with him and block our total experience

This i feel was the gospel that Jesus symbolised. That the 'word' (which created all) became flesh starting even from a baby whose bum had to be wiped; and dwelled with us...
I for yell emanuel!!.. but them go fit tok say i be that prophet pikin



If the God who (if we are to use human language and measurements) is bigger than the entire universe could bend down (so to to speak) to create us with brains and describe us as his image. Then we must be very important enough for him to want to discuss with us

And such a mighty being must definitely have the answer to all things. abi?

Gracious10: Hia! What happened to obedience to God? If God gave Ezekiel that ability, do u think he won't give u the ability to live with a one-eyed ugly village woman? Your write-up is really interesting. I will read through them again to satisfy my curiosity of where u really stand.

Excellent question. Excellent question

remember i talked about 'growing' a discerning spirit right?
So the question then becomes "how do u know God's desire/command towards you"?
Also remember the scripture saying that "we should test the spirit"

Remember Jesus was ministered to by satan using the scriptures (Satan even try sef, because he knew to use the scripture on the deepest God given desires of Jesus)


Obedience to God?
Firstly, what exactly is 'obedience'?

-So is it what Pastor Emeka says, that is God's command/desire towards us? are we sure that he heard from God? so God rather talks through pastor Emeka than through you abi?
-Did we personally hear directly from God? was it a clear human like voice or a pull/push inside?
-Did this 'push/pull' thing ever tell you to stay in front of a moving truck, and that by faith, the truck will not crush you etc? Did u do it?
-Have you found a 'unique' way of seperating God from things that have the 'appearance of God'

(while some are pondering these questions, something might come up from inside saying "wait a minute. Is this not how through questioning that the serpent decieved Eve?)
(yep sure. Adam and Eve should probably have questioned God personally and rigorously instead of simply trying to obey, then later falling for the stories of the serpent)

If he has called us friends, lovers, sons or daughters, do we know what this really, really, really means?
I have said NO to my earthly parents a lot of times. what they've done was to try to convince me otherwise, and me try convince them otherwise.
Somethimes we found out that we want the same thing through such arguements. The only challenge was the packaging of the information


He has given to each his talent according to their abilities. God gave me the ability to like fine classy women well well. He has given some women the ability to kiss frogs and turn them into princes. I am satisfied and content with my own talent o

Wow Debrief's case is extraordinary

A loving man suddenly starts misbehaving because he has money (this mostly happens to folks wen never see money and power before)
And for us xtians, I always say this. We need to be careful with churchy things. There is a big distiction between men and God

She has moved on which is great....but
If a man can turn 180 degrees so easily, he apparently has some demons (childhood issues etc still lurking)
Isn't Debrief's continous association with him risky?
I mean he has said he's not marrying again because of Debrief

Is this not a warning sign?
Can we play with fire and expect not to get burnt?

Apparently,IMO Debrief has her own issues of being tooooo caring and trusting (Debrief, I hope u'r not trying to live out the gospel of forgiving by doing ths?)
I just dey tok sha

Is our culture or sense of community bond a hinderance to the success of Nigerian entrepreneurs/small businesses?
(these are all assumptions)

There are many reasons why I ask this question
For example, our business men are many times reluctant to sack staff. Even if there is a recession, we'd rather hold on to the staff without paying them except they decide to call it quits
I would imagine that a foreign businessman (lebanese or indian) in Nigeria will not hesitate to get rid of staff immediately the company's revenue takes a deep.



I would like some contributions. Thanks

Shollypopz: hhhhhmmm........I see.
I have further questions to ask you but I've been told to create another thread.
See u then, maybe

Ok naw. as them don drive us from here.
But im for better for ladies to understand root causes than just plucking the fruits from tree tops and saying "this one is sour ..throw it away".

Just my 2 cent
**runs away sharp sharp**

Gracious10: I have peace within me, I believe i shouldnt force anyone to be with me. Relationship is a two thing. I believe he has his own side to the story. Apart from what i have mentioned, this guy is nice.....But with what i have presented, should i still hope he will come back? I am not dating anyone and dont wish to date till i understand what went wrong here and how i can fix it moving on .

I might be wrong, but his profile actually fits the description some pastors I know.

If such is the case, you're not his first and wont be his last
-Quit bothering yourself about him. He won't change. He has no side of the story.
-has he even introduced u to his mom?
-You'll drive yourself to a point where you will be the one to have s.ex with (seduce) him. When this happens he would feel no sense of guilt or wrongdoing towards you by rationalizing that you lured him into it
-Don't... I repeat dont defeat yourself by hoping to get explanations before you move on. This is a 'mind game' that is turned against you
-Gracious10. This guy is going to nack u (sorry, i had to say this bluntly to get you back to your senses) for free and on the cheap.

I'm saying this, because I've seen this same thing play out so many, many, many times
Great for the guys, bad for the girls
...Its your choice

I'll break this to you in bits.

Gracious10: I have been dating my guy for almost a year now. He is 15 years older than me. I am in my late twenties.
This guy is super nice but i have issues bothering me about him.

1: He never introduces me as "his girlfriend or woman" ( he calls me baby when we are alone and my name when people are around).

He doesnt feel the need to be commited to you. Neither does he want people to raise eyebrows when the next girl comes along

2. He never returns my call promptly, he returns calls in 48-72 hrs and when i demand explanation, he gives excuses of being too busy and would call back when he has time for it! He also accuses me of insulting him and i still apologise. I have never used a curse word on him cos i understand what respect is

This guy actually feels that he is beyond your league

3:we cant have a conversation without him rubbing his age on my face. I am literally scared of showing displeasure in his attitude towards me cos i dont wish to labelled rude and insultive..

He sure doesn't consider you his 'mate'. He would like you to be aware of this just in case the r/ship breaks up

4:He loves to ignore me for days no matter how worried i am of his welbeing..

Commitment phobia

5: He is stingy. If i dont ask for anything, he won't bother doing it for me even if my hair looks nasty.
I dont ask him for money because by the grace of God, i can comfortably take care of myself. I have never being[color=#770077][/color] a financial burden cos i know everyone has bills. And i believe a man should provide for his woman the way he can no matter how little. A good woman will appreciate that.
I love this man to bits, i have been completly transperent to him and to my commitment to God. The more i try to reach him, the more he appears to be invisible.

He is a stingy person. Used to receiving and not giving. Your commitment to God does not phase him one bit. He's had relationships with hundreds like you

Recently, he treated me his normal way in public, practically avoided me and sneaked out of the event without informing me of his exit. He later asked me to join me in a resturant, i refused to go. He appologised but i think this guy has been planing to leave me. So i decided to stay away for a while and since then, he hasn't called.

The handwritting is clear. (Umhh, familiar setting replaying itself)

Shollypopz: I have a question and I'm sorry it's not related to the topic of this thread. For those that have both male and female kids, how do you delegate household chores between the two gender?? Are u more concerned about teaching ur female kids how to cook and clean the house than ur male kids?? What effect do you think this have on your children later on (in respect to ur reply). I will ask further questions that would lead to what my main issue is?? I've been thinking of this lately.

Excellent question.
My mum brought us (boys and girls) up sharing tasks equally.
-For the boys, this has affected our relationshps with our ladies positively.
-Unfortunately for the girls, their men are stuck in task seperation and end up being lazy. This is because my 'sisters' are able to perform both traditional male and female 'dominated' chores

@davidylan; Graciuos10; Mr_Anony; O.M.E

Ok naw.
Its now time for you guys to share your stories

No add jara or remove insightful stuff o

you enjoy your calling

Many years after getting born again
my childhood toughts that if I completely yielded to God,
he could send me off to be slaugthered and
he could give me a one-eyed wowo viilage girl (sorry if this offends anyone) as a wife still haunted me

I had to confront this fear head on
I cant remember when exactly, but I soon received a new revelation on this
From meditating on the bible i saw many pointers

the one that I still remember clearly was Ezekiel 4
God told the prophet to lie on his side
on the streets of israel for about 430 days
and this, Ezekiel did

At my first glance, it seemed like a punishment (na punishment sha, no be 'seems' )
Then, I realised that as tough as it looks (and it was),
he could only have done it with abilities bestowed by God

in order words, Ezekiel would have enjoyed doing it , or have been given the ability to do it
although spectators would have seen him as suffering
(in fact, the thing Ezekiel didnt enjoy doing, he told God straight up. And God let him be)

Eureka!!!!!!
I do not enjoy marrying a one-eyed wowo vilage girl,
... that is to say God no give me that ability
but i actually don't mind dieing for a cause that I believe in

whew!!! more peace



**sad that I am talking like this about someones beauty. It is wrong (not a sin). Please forgive me if you feel offended. It's just that, it has always thuged at me since childhood**

No escaping


You can imagine the thoughts that filled the minds of little kids from xtian homes
Where did they get all these sort of information from?
Na their church and elders

Well it made sense for me (even as a little boy)
to withold my life from jesus for as looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong as possible


****
When I did get born again (....earlier than I had planned for),
as I knelt down to get initiated into christ
I realised I was surrendering my all to Jesus,
and that he could do with me whatever he wanted:


He could send me off to some arab land to be slaughtered for the gospel,
he could turn me to a bell ringing pastor
including graciously giving me a one-eyed, ugly, village wife


**Such reasoning is probably why u see xtians lamenting on NairaLand threads
that brother Joseph says God revealed them marrying sister Mary.
While sister Mary who might have no single feeling for brother Joseph will be in torment as they consider the revelation
For example: https://www.nairaland.com/1081418/dont-love-him-he-said

Naa, not my cross

Back then, the gospel was much different than what we have now

Presently, following jesus is touted as guaranteeing you:
wealth, blessings, peace of mind, Rolex watches, long life, you shall not die,
Private jets, yatchs, vacations abroad, fine familly, brand new cars etc

The only caveat in contemporary gospel is that these things are yours only if you have faith and if you are a faithfull tither
So in as much as people are drawn to this gospel, the antithesis is that people also run away from this gospel
so that they don't sacrifice all their money, cars and houses.


Back then, when you think of following Jesus, your familly go fit start to dey cry
It meant many things...... all negative in earthly assessment

-prepare to be killed for the gospel
-prepare to be poor like your pastor
-prepare to ride tortoise car
-prepare to dress in tattered clothes
** U see why the term S.U. evolved to be a derogatory label for untidy christians**

-in fact be prepared to do whatever God tells u to do
**and a larger percentage of the things God will tell you to do are anti-wordly**

For example, if God says you should marry a village one-eyed and ugly wife. You'd just have to do that and remain sad all your life
(Na this one I be struggle with pass as a small 7 year old pikin till maturity)

baby escape plans

Our/my concept of the consequence of salvation meant a lot of things which we had somehow been inculcated with
the consequences of none-salvation was also clear -Hell
(kai, as I small reach, our loving Chineke for send me go hell fire ... shei)

Our small minds had devised a way to avoid going to hellfire while enjoying sin for as long as possible
It was simple
When we get older (after grooving), or just before we die
we repent

Some 'I-too-know' folks tried bursting our well laid out plans:

What if you die in childhood like Ebenezer died last week in a car accident?
*'' umh we will see the accident coming and we pray for forgiveness before it happens

ok, what if you're asleep in the car when the accident happens?
*'' henceforth, we won't sleep during journeys

do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked. If you do have the chance to pray for forgiveness just before you die, God already knows that that was your silly plan. sucker
*'' Kai, what to do?

simple... repent ..now!!
*'' But repenting means following christ into suffering naw