₦airaland Forum

My broda, I no fit shout, but na so e dey.

Try go scope babe for club??

Even if na shamgba, you go learn

Una know say the easiet place to go get babe na for inside church!!!

Na just like this you go talk,

Brother; Good evening sister Rosemary Magdalene,
Sister: Good Evening Brother Eccleciastics Jeremiah,
Brother: Sister, Last night the lord ministered to me in a dream or vision, (or better yet) The lord appeared to me in my room last night
Sister: Praise the lord,
Brother: Alleluyah
Sister: What was your vision or ministration, or what did the good lord tell you
Brother: You know I have been praying and fasting over 40months now, asking the lord to reveal his true plans for me. Last night the lord answered my prayers, Sister i want to share the testimony with you.
Sister: The lord is good.
Brother: All the time.
Sister: so what is the testimony?
Brother: The lord told me you are going to be my life partner
Sister: Praise the lord, He also told me too, Lets go to your house in your car and pray about it,

Its that easy,

Kituan you dey laugh?

Na so my own crase use start o!

As a nigerian man I must Know, what does a Nigerian girl call being romantic

Nna see me see problem O!

What does a naija girl want?? Flowers?? Cards?? Wines?? Expensive dinners?? Boat cruises?? wat??

You know it is not just in our culture, wetin you wan use all dem flowers do(wey go die you go com throwey am), Card (wey once you read am you don throw am for dustbin), Wine Ke! (wen I fit use the money buy 1crate of mineral), Expensive dinner!! you no well, (You no sabi cook??), Boat cruise, (if you wan die for water, go die only you),

You see, we are romantic, but not the hollywood way

Crase is a very complicated issue O!

Make una see this crase pikin wey dem dey call Krasy Niaja dey give other crase people advice,

I sure say your crase don reach Phd. level, no wonder dem dey spell ur own crase with K,

Abeg make person find doctor number call, before this issue go begin need spiritual attention Oh!

True Love, love, Infatuation, Compassion, Interest, Feelings, Attraction, Like, e.t.c

We could sit here and argue all our lives,

This is Own opinion,

Question; What is true Love??

Answer; True Love is a state of mind. It is a word which we use to find comfort in our companionship with another person. It is a term we use as an excuse to do things with other people. It is a non-existent phenomenon,

True love is no different from infatuation, True love is as real as heaven and hell (for those over-zealous church freaks, there is no proof of it).

In simple english, TRUE LOVE DOES NOT EXIST

This is my honest opinion, and if you give it thought you will see I'm correct

Okay I think its Official, All of una don Kolo,

The only thing wey una don dey do na to dey call each other crase person,

I feel say crase dey even worry me for actually responding to this post,

OMG!! I follow dey crase,

My stats?? Easy

Check out the marital status of the women in your church, Start with the ushers, at least 70% are single and Old,

Check out any crusade, retreat, or church program, When the pastor is about to pray for life partners, the church becomes more livelier.

Check out the age and marital status of the most active young people in your church, you'll notice they are all 30years and upwards and most are single,

Its a shame, but its the truth, Ask for internet dating?? NA just suggestion I make o!! I no say make you go do am, Na you and your God know wetin you go get,

But on the more serious side, church marriage get as ebi, just pray say you no go marry one of the freaks or the hussies,

Men in search of waht in church

I'll be damned if I should meet mrs right in a church,

Churches are filled with 45 freaks, 50% retired and worn out women. Hustlers/old whores (who have given up on life and have fallen back on God to salvage whatever is left of them). Only 1% of chicks in churches are wifey material, The last 4% are just plain hussies,

The best place to find a wife is;
1. School (univeristy)
2. NYSC
3. Workplace/ Office
4. Nightclub, lol. (i cant believe it myself, but I heard it works)
5. Internet chat rooms , O.k now I'm just being an ass,

But church Lie lie. No think am

What are guys scared of? Hmmm

REphrase, What are my scared of??

1. Love?? nope, reason; Dose not exist

2. Old age? I dont think so, Reason; At 60, I'll still be looking younger and finer than my wife of 45.

3. Beauty?? Hells no, Reason; If 50cent could do Vivica Fox, and Jay-Z could get Beyonce, then I could have an orgy with J-lo, Beyonce, Shakira and Maria Carey,

4. Marriage??, Of course not, Reason; At the age of 50, I could marry an 18year old beauty and still live happily . but most women , would have depreciated and lost their market value at this age.

5. Sex??, Are you kidding me??, Not a chance, Reason; At the age of 80 i could still get my groove on (at least we have viagra) , But chicks, hmm (that area is permanently out of service),

Wow, It really is a mans world,

Sorry ladies, I didnt mean to scare you,

Nigerians and their big egos,

Una win, wetin again una want??

I was too busy to watch the match, but a win is a win, even if na penalty

Lets stop thinking that our Nigerian squad are a team of Gods, Dont ever under-estimate any team, (for god sakes TOGO went to the world cup and senegal and cameroun and south africa e.t.c didnt).

Football no carry any country name ontop o
Big up Nigeria, we go reach there

First of all, do you smoke cannabis? If you do then you'll know he answer to your question

The beating gave me the life I'm living today, And its a good life  (most of he bois I use to roll with aint living as good as i am today)

I dont mean to sound proud, But I'm doing better than most of my peers,  And my life is on a good path so far

My parents loved me, despite the incessant ass kicking (as a child I hated it, In fact I hated my mum, but I'm closer to her than I am to my dad), call it tough love, but hells if my kids deserve the same kind of love, you bet ur ass they will get it,

Atleast I'm a living example that ass whooping can change your life

Dont get it twisted, I never had bad parents, I was a real hot head when i was young and like most Nigerian parents they believed in spare the rod and spoil the child, (I thought this was supposed to be a metaphor, I guess not),

They brutalised me with love,

9ja parents show their love in a very weird way,

Yeah those ideas will work if you where conceived, born and raised outside of Nigeria,
If I tried a quarter of the stuffs on that list, I'll be dead, even at my age

Like Ch!z said, you are advocating suicide,

My butt still hurts from years of serious child abuse (flogging) for doing stuffs that where not half as insane as what you are suggesting,

WARNING; NIGERIAN KIDS< DO NOT TRY ANY OF THESE STUFFS AT HOME, EXCEPT YOU WANT TO DIE

Igbo kwenu,

Indi Igbo ekenem unu o!

Abum Nwa di ana, Onye Agwu Ukwu Nri, Anambra state

Nna I no know if i write am well, mana udo di

Kachi fo

hi everybody, I just saw eldee's "i go yarn" video, and i really dont know what to say , pls does anybody know how i could download this song
. i'll really appreciate it, thanks