₦airaland Forum

If thats you in the picture, then you had better have a good reason for insecure about ur looks,

That means you need to be clearer about wats the ish with you,

Chineke God, Afraid of wat??

My future mrs Esss must be atleast 6ft2,

I adore tall chicks, their presence alone is very intimidating,

Abeg oh! I no wan born Aki and Ukwa O,

Any babe below 5ft 5 no follow at all,

My appologies to all short chicks,

Holy JESUS, wat did u say your problems were again

I don laugh till the point wey my rid don dislocate

I experience the same tin wey my guy dey suffer now wen I dey secondary school,

This babe wugly beyond salvation, I mean. There was nothin to even use consider am, Nkiru, 0 Azuka, 0
But the aggression wey this babe use pursue me, men my mind cut, I really tried, I would sit with her, we will talk, she even went as far as buying me gifts on vals day,

My guilty conscience nearly make me zuzu (mumu) commot with the girl.

Thank God say I change school oh!

The phobia most men have with wor-wor girls is that they are afraid of the critism/mockery they will recieve from their friends and society, and also incase she carry belle, your pikin go resemble evil spirit

But on a more serious note, if I were to find myself in the same situation again, I still wouldnt know how to deal with it, so my advice is,

The next time wey she disturb you, give like three hot slap without any warning, make she vex quarrel with you, This is the only way to get instant peace of mind, Na play i dey play Oh!!

Or you can be more human and Just explain to her that it just wouldnt work out between the two of you, (give her an excuse like you have a girlfriend, or your parents dont want you to date anybody from her tribe, or tell her you have AIDS, or that you have been betrothed to somebody, or you want to become a reverend father, or you are a born again christain.) But make sure it is reasonable and not insulting to her intelligence,

But wateva you do, make sure you set her down gently without hurting her feelings, remember she is human.

Or pack out, change address, or change school or change state,

Rememba say wor-wor na contagious disease oh!!

Yes, still wishin ( I would have told her how i felt)

Have you ever wished your life were different, i.e you had someone elses life?/

Webmonk Chineke gozie gi, meaning God bless you

The most important thing in a marriage is Compatibility, If both of you are compatible, there would be this natural chemistry that would keep the bond between you permanent,

Cooking, Hmmm, I like isi ewu, Nkwobi, Pepper soup, Ofe Nsala, Ugba and opkoroko, edikiankong soup, Ogbono soup, Abacha, Ofe owerri, ofe onugbu,

CHINEKE NNA. . she must sabi cook too,

Ask for the sex part, that can be taken care of outside,

Na wah o!

Nice article Bolarge, Really I was in awe after reading it,

But still, all that stuff you just wrote only happens in a very perfect world which we happen not to be living in,

I'm one of those folks who does not believe in love, so I wouldnt Include it in part of my rules,

Here are my golden rules to finding my life partner;
1. Compatibility, She should be someone who I gel with,
2. Tolerable , She would be someone I should be able to tolerate, cos they always have an attitude/behavior that would piss off
3. Brains, Educated, She should be able to reason with you on the same level at every point in time. That she can come up with brilliant ideas that differ from yours and make you see reason with her.
4. Humble, She must understand that I am the head of the house and respect that./ but that does not mean she should be all submissive and shit. If she sees me going wrong, she should be able to call me to order,
5. Strong, She should be able to control and run my home with an iron grip, meaning she should be a strong woman,

these are my golden rules, remember you will live with this person for your entire life,

Question; Why do people go to church hmm

Answers; 1. To solve a problem spiritually, The problems are as follows in their order of frequency, gender related and commomness,

a. Unemployment, Men & women, 30%
b. Child Bearing/bareness problem, women 80%, men 10%
c. Wealth, Men 90%, Women, 10%
d. Spiritual problems (mami-water, winch, abiku, ogbanje, native doctor problems e.t.c), Women, 95%, Men 5%
e. Marriage problems, Women 85%, Men 10%, undecided 5%


2. To avoid going to hell, that is to get saved (dem dey fear Satan), Women 60%, men 40%

3. Busybody, that is no work to do so dem dey church, Women, 95%, Men 3%

So there you have it, thats why people go to church

And HE said (Note; Not SHE said O!) let us create man in our "own"(i.e Him and ehn son) IMAGE, (Na him and ehn son {jesus} been dey discuss,
And he took the rib out of MAN and created the woman,
And he sent his only begotten son (Not daughter), Meaning say ehn get only one pikin, and na boy,

No be talk O!!! Na bible,

So no be lie to talk say, It is a mans world,

And you still neva explain this quality of a thing,
Quality is suppose to be something wey dey last pass abi??
If woman expiry na 50, and man own na like 95, abeg which one you go like buy (if to say na car)

Acid abeg explain this ur Quantitative and Qualitative analysis give me,

I love you Ladies believe me, but I mean, even God is a man. So what do we have to be scared of??

The truth is; Women are like perishable foods,

They have their validity period,

Best Before; 50

Man no get expiry date o!!

Who needs surgery when you got money,

No be Heff dey with all those fine girls for ehn playboy mansion so,

My broda na phork I talk o!, Akwa Ibom ro, wetin

Romance no near their side at all, But that tin wey dem sabi do, Dem sabi am well well , E enta their blood,

I have no Idea how cute ass came about those reasons but damn!! That about sums it up,

Except she missed out a very important point too,

Some are still there because they like being abused, Thats the mentality they have bout how a relationship should be, Maybe they themselves grew up in a house where daddy whooped and abused mummy's ass all day long and mummy never complained or moved out!!
See ,

So who really cares why they remain in abusive relationships, what about men who put up with abusive wives , abi na only man fit abuse woman??

nna chi efogo na paris ebe mno,

Anaba gom

Kachi fo

Or gi chu the babe,

mana udo di

Ndi ebe anyi, asim ka kene unu,

Afam bu Ichie Omekannaya Esss 1 of Nairaland,

Unu nokwa ofuma oh!

Udo di!

Kachi fo,

Fromuk Ana me kene gi o!

Chineke!!

Na Text book abi na report that pikin write so??

Make person find work for Dayokanu, na no work na ehn make devil dey use am write plenty nansence like that,

Militia as dem don pursue us, make I leave the room for them to hold their church crusade abi na retreat?

Una don come out now dey do like virgin mary and angel gabriel, Mean while unu na kwa iko na azu, umu Akuna kuna.

Militia Ka chi fo, We fit jam for another room , nice talking with yall anyways,

Goodnite or wateva whereva u r

unless na sugar mummy, the answer is mba a.k.a NO

you no get respect for yourself and for elders??

oneday the talk of who senior must come out, na that time shame go nearly kill you

Proverbial just come out dey go find my guilty concience for where i hide am,

Meanwhile you guilty pass me,

na people like you dey sweet to flog,

yeye boy

Nna make una no dey preach here now!

Na church be this??

Sister magdalene don com talk ehn own, now brother nicodemus dey follow talk.

See me I still dey talk am, NIGERIAN MEN are romantic by our own standards,

So if you want us to upgrade our romantic status to super-mumu-romantic a.k.a Hollywood film romantic, then simply follow the following rules;

1. You get sabi phock pass ashawo wey don get 45years experience, that is to say you go dey show over-skill for bedroom, {very important lesson}
2. You go sabi cook, no be fried rice o!! thins like Isi ewu, Nkwobi, Ugba and opkoroko, ofe onugbu, ofe nsala, fresh fish pepper soup, e.t.c
3. You go dey clean house, dey wash cloth dey iron am too, dey even wash motor (like those girls for music videos "my neck, my back, lick my , y and , k"
4. You go dey do exercise so your body go dey like shakira and beyonce own,
5. Then you go dey wear oyinbo clothe them, you no go dey tie wrappa dey waka for house like say you dey village,

I swear say if you do this things, your bobo go romantic pass wetin you fit think.

This na tested and guaranteed method, worked for all the women who tried it

nne Ikamefa, oga dili mma. oh udo di

Na true talk we dey here dey talk,

Abum onye nigeria, so we know these things,

I wish we could talk about issues openly like this in the real world back home in nigeria,

babyosisi, stop being holier than thou,

There are no children here. abi umuazi fa no eba??

Biko umuazi naba o, ndi agadi na ekwu

Nne Babyosisi,

Even if Militia like make ehn be hemaphrodite, wetin ehn dey talk no be lie, 9ja men like ashawo pass their life,

If una like make una dey claim say una no dey kwa Iko, Mary magdalene, Na una sabi.

Make una take advice or suffer being unromanticized

I tire for una O!

The girl dey try tell una say the guy fine like Denzel washington wey dem mix him DNA wit george clooney own and say she wogly pass shrek wife,

That is to say beauty and the beast remix,

Now una see as e dey do boy when e see una abi, Go scope am make ehn reject you kwa.

I dey pray for u sha, But at least now you understand how bobos dey feel

I dey jealous dis your bobo o!!

Dis na lesson to all 9ja girls, If you want make ur man romantic give you, you dey do the following things;

1. You get sabi phock pass ashawo wey don get 45years experience, that is to say you go dey show over-skill for bedroom, {very important lesson}
2. You go sabi cook, no be fried rice o!! thins like Isi ewu, Nkwobi, Ugba and opkoroko, ofe onugbu, ofe nsala, fresh fish pepper soup, e.t.c
3. You go dey clean house, dey wash cloth dey iron am too, dey even wash motor (like those girls for music videos "my neck, my back, lick my , y and , k"
4. You go dey do exercise so your body go dey like shakira and beyonce own,
5. Then you go dey wear oyinbo clothe dem, you no go dey tie wrappa dey waka for house like say you dey village,

I swear say if you do this things, your bobo go romantic pass wetin you fit think. if you want make eh dey sing for mid-night sef, that wan na small tin

I just been wan ask were you dey were all these guys just dey fax u all dis dynamite,

Militia I know say una girls sabi gossip well, well. So which gossip wey you don hear for woman side wey fit make you believe say dem girls from that area sabi romantic,

But if ur bobo dey sing for hot afternoon, ehn for kukuma go american idol at once,

I get question O

but you for tell us qwa, which ethnic groups for women romantic pass, Cos apart from akwa ibom girls that does it better than yours, (in bed), I no sabi o,

So teacher abeg teach me

Chineke Nnam biko gba aram oh!

Nne Militia, You be proper militia. , I sure say you be all dis Niger delta babes, shebi you don kidnap person before for Bayelsa.

But I bow for you sef, You no dey try lai lai, See the way wey u just use wan finish the entire cultural and ethinic groups wey dey Obodo nigeria,

Nneoma o gini ka indi calabar mey? If any Calabar man read that ur post, Na one small juju dem go DHL give you.

But on the real, what do you nigerian ladies want??

Me I no go fit give girl flower o!! To me na waste of money, instead collect perfume, make you dey smell fresh and sweet all the time.

Nigerians and Africans in general no get that mugu for their blood wey una dey call romance,

Ro, gini?? Na valentines wey I suffer buy babe designer perfume, and one expensive wrist watch finish, You no wetin she give me?? 50naira card and one pen wey no reach 100naira,

Omo if you want naija man romance, come ehn go carry you go boutique, you go buy clothe. Una go come go Mr Biggs Buy like 300naira thing. Den ehn fit carry u go market make you buy things wey you go use cook for am, maybe even soap to wash ehn cloth, Then una go go house enta room talk small, Phork from night till early morning,, then for morning you go go cook wash ehn cloth, then use transport go house,

I dey play oh. I romantic pass like that, at least i go go drop you for junction.

Ladies I'm just being an ass,

But please explainn to me what you will consider as being romantic, and no about buying flowers o!