₦airaland Forum

lionel4power:
Well it seems you've taken a good lots of time in figuring it out.

Your post reminds me of a discussion I had with a young man in my area. we were talking about why Nigerian girls in rural areas tend to get pregnant before a certain age.

Some things this particular man said to me was quite troubling. I was really shocked to hear such from a 30 years old man.

For instance, he said a girl wearing a particular type of dress in an isolated place is asking to be raped. Imagine!!
EVEN if its a public place.

Even in her house she must not dress in some ways if she is alone with a man.
EVEN IN HER OWN HOUSE.

na wa oo

so I asked him what about in Western societies were women wear skimpy dresses and yet they feel safe, his only reply is that Western world is not Nigeria.

It's really sad, isn't it?

I've always said it, there's no justification for rape. None whatsoever.

Glad someone is writing this. You see, hate is one thing, chauvinism is another.

Yes, Nairalanders are extremely divided along ethnic and religious lines and they go about it with so much hatred but what you described up there is the typical chauvinistic nature of Nairaland boys. Yes, let's not blanket it all as "hate". Let's be bold enough to mention the problem, isolate it and address it without the fear of being called "woman wrapper".

A typical NL boy believe it's a "male thing" to denigrate ladies. Such persons join the bandwagon to call women unprintable names at the slightest provocation. They believe the world revolves around them. When a woman commits a crime, you see "fear women", when a man does, it's normal. When a man cheats, it's the fault of the wife for not taking care of him or maybe the fault of the side chick for allowing the man approach her; men are meant to cheat anyway. When a woman cheats, fear women. When a woman uses se.x objects, she's a mess but when a man does, it's because the women are claiming important. If a woman refuses you se.x, her own is too much; if she gives it to you, she's a LovePeddler. When a woman is young and flashy, she is a hoe; when she gets older, she's an old newspaper. When a fine lady graduates with good grades, she must have slept her way through. When a lady make a money, she must be keeping sugar daddies. When a woman is raped, it's her fault. Why did she dress that way?

I've come to believe these boys are so insecure and fear the acceptance of women as entities that can be equally successful. They try hard to protect their fragile ego especially those who have nothing going for them other that the fact that they are men.

It's chauvinism. And that's what feminism has come to address.

Foolishmasses:
Nigeria Social Media League ( NSML) as it stand on Sunday 30th June 2019.

Teams. Pts
1. Fatoyinbo United. 66
2. COZA City FC. 65
3. Busola FC. 60
4. Pastors FC. 59
5. Reactors United. 58
6. Suicide United . 55
7. Sniper City FC. 54
8. Naira Marley Wanderers. 50
9. Soapy Athlectic FC. 49
10. EFCC United. 48
11. Yahoo Convicts FC. 47
12. Regina Ned United. 40
13. FC Ned Nwoko. 39
14. Tonto & Destroyers United. 35
15. Ihedioha Villa FC. 34
16. Okorocha City FC. 33
17. No Ministers United. 20
18. Kidnappers United. 18
19. Herdermen Palace FC. 16
20. RUGA United. 15



Meanwhile, the managers of 12th and 13th placed team are under immense pressure to get back to the top of the table where they exchange 1st and 2nd spot respectively before Fatoyinbo United who were languishing on the bottom of the table before signing their merciless striker popularly and dreadfully known as Mr. Krest claimed the top spot with no end in sight in ceeding the spot because COZA City FC is trailing them by one point. However, third placed team, Busola FC is on goal drought after the famous win over Fatoyinbo United over the weekend even though many people called for the use of VAR before awarding the 3 points to Busola FC. Both Pastors and Reactors teams are doing pretty fine on the table as both team manage a draw in their last match with 2 outstanding game for Pastor FC which could see them in third place if they win both thereby qualifying them for next season's Hell Champions League. The accord between Suicide United and Sniper City FC is unexplainable as both teams keep trailing one another after promotion from Non League to Premier League in 2015 when the incumbent FA president , Muhammad Buhari won the election. Many have castigated Buhari for influencing the rise of these two teams by using his power to promote them to the Premier League. Buhari denied the allegation by stating that his childhood team which is Herdsmen Palace FC is not doing fine on the table and is bound to be relegated because spectators are not interested in watching HPFC matches, hence the reason for the low turnout on social media stadia.
As it stands now, lovers of the Nigeria Social Media League are certain that the current spot occupied by Fatoyinbo United will be shortlive because Big Brother Naija Destroyers FC has gained promotion to the elite league after a year in the second divison. This is because they have the biggest stadium for home and away games in the NSML.
No one bothers about the activities and matches of 17th placed team i.e No Ministers United because its not up to six months they gained promotion to the competition.
Lastly, RUGA United fans were disappointed after claiming a point in their last match despite having 90% possession.







We get the kinda leaders/rulers we deserved. Why won't our leaders play us as they wish when we celebrate irrelevant nonsense.
(c) Foolishmasses

LMAO.

This is funny really.

But you that had the time to type all this aren't any better than any other person on social media discussing it...

Besides, any public agitation against rape is just IMO.

ubunja:
I'm all for the case going to court. If for nothing than closure for the victim.

What the court will decide we'll welcome.

Perfect!

ubunja:
But it will change the game for future victims. They'll not make the same mistake.

Because of people who are yet to be victimised, you want the present day victim to go without justice? See, we encourage everyone to speak up and make the same mistake but we also want justice for the one who has spoken up. In fact, that's the best way to encourage others.

ubunja:
justice does not always win. Make peace with that.

See how tyrants ruined countries like Zimbabwe but today those men still walk free. It Hurts. But what can you do?

Some things will only be settled on Judgement Day.

No one is arguing that. Justice does not always win. But we can always be on the side of justice. If the man is guilty, she could still lose the case due to lack of evidence. But it'll still be a good thing she eventually spoke out.

ubunja:
there is such a thing called The Court of Public Opinion. The sentiment of the general public can influence the outcome of a court case.
That's why these women like reporting cases first on Social Media than the Police.

You're right and for the same influence of public opinion, we should desist from shutting down people that report rape cases based on the grounds that they didn't do it early enough. Such could deter others.

GutsOverFear:
You that grew up with saint what's what you just spewed called.. Double standard

I didn't give you my opinion on the guy that voiced out. I don't know the source of your double standard allegation
You're just looking for things to justify your wickedness. I pity the under-age girls around you. Who knows, they might also consent to your advances

GraGra247:
I respect your opinion. But unfortunately it's not mine opinion.

If anyone refuses to report rape at least within one or two years it happened, its better the fellow stays silent forever except of course in a case where the rapist is being suspected to have committed the same crime or similar crime in the future. My view.

Reporting it 10 years or 20 years after simply creates problems I listed for everyone.

The fellow that committed the crime could've even beat the habit by then and living an upright life.

The fellow that's reporting the case could've also accumulated a lot of wrong doings probably worse than rape over those years.

Law enforcement agents simply won't know from where to start investigating.

I simply advocate its reported early or its forgotten. Everyone also has gone through heartwrenching circumstances they'd rather not speak about for life.

Don't make seem as if I'm saying it should not be reported early. That is ideal. But I totally disagree with never reporting cause you didn't do it as soon as it happened. We are arguing this cause you miss the problem domain. Reporting years later is never the problem, the problem (rape act) already exists. Reporting years later only makes it a bit more difficult to solve the problem. And like I said earlier, whether you're able to prove it or not, it's still a good thing you eventually spoke out. If you rape someone and later turn a new leaf, go and apologise.

loswhite:
Without proof you already believe the man is guilty

I never said he is. I use expressions like "allegedly", "if guilty", etc. We can only hope for a good trial. I'm only saying there's nothing bad in speaking eventually.

GutsOverFear:
You are the wicked one here.. If not you would see that these ladies are trying to pull a man down

You grew up with beasts as ladies that's why you can spew this trash.

ubunja:
yes.

But when it comes to rape everyone is emotional. And the man won't be guaranteed of a fair trail.

See how already everyone has concluded the man is guilty.

Well, everyone is not the judge. Everyone is not the investigator. Everyone is just voicing their opinion. We hope for a fair trial. And if the man is guilty, we should be glad she eventually came out.

ubunja:
don't wait till a person is famous to report a rape because then it raises some questions.

That's what we're saying.

If you're raped go report. Today. Tomorrow. But not 15 yrs later.

You are 100% right. But should the rapists be left go free because the victims waited for long before speaking up? Will past victims have the mind to speak up seeing how we treat this case? Time might make it difficult if not impossible to prove but it never make it less a crime.

ubunja:
time is crucial because proof is needed.
A crime reported 15 yrs later won't be evidence-based

No one is saying time is not important. I am saying that regardless of how long it takes one to speak up, rape is still rape and remains a terrible crime.

We have seen people convicted for a crime they committed 50 years earlier so all hopes are not lost. And if she ends up not being able to prove it cause of the loss of evidence, it's still a good thing she spoke up. That'd make her feel better and encourage other victims to talk. We cannot get rape victims to be open if we keep shunning them down.

GutsOverFear:
So it's OK for Busola to cry out as a rape victim of what happened 15 years ago..

But it's not OK for this guy to do the same.. Hypocritical double standard people we have in Nigeria..

FYI what the pastor did with her wasn't rape. It might not have been a consensual sex in the encounter but the subsequent ones were consensual..

She enjoyed it that's why she didn't cry out then..

Would she cry out now if the person that raped her was a nobody?

See what a fellow human being is typing. The heart of man is indeed wicked

egbarison:
This rape charges is not only in Nigeria, it's just a new trend to defame someone who has climbed higher just to discourage him from moving forward. Fear women!! If possible always allow her remove her pants herself and help you pull down your boxers to show genuine interest (capture or video her if possible). This thing is too much!!!

Typical Nairalander playing the gender card.

Fear women? Women are the leaders of bokoharam? Women are the kidnappers terrorising Nigeria? Women are the rapists roaming the streets? Women are the Fulani herdsmen killing people out there? Please, I'd rather have a logical response than this chauvinistic comment you spewed up there. You think a Dakolo's wife just woke up and decided to look for a pastor to defame?

I don't know the kind of women you have in your life but don't quote me if all you can offer is prejudice. Thank you.

GraGra247:
My sister knew what she escaped from and reported it as such.

This is not the time and age when people are too naive. The media and technology have broadened people's knowledge.

8 years olds are on Facebook, 2go and whatsapp.

Some of the problems and complications of reporting it late:

1. Many or all evidences would have been lost.

2. The aggressor would have fought and beat his bad character by then as everyone have done at one time or the other. It would be totally unfair by then to call him out.

3.Everyone had skeletons sometime in his/her past including the lady victims of abuse that spoke out late. What was the theft, prostitution, runs, abortion etc they left behind in the past to accuse another person of rape 20 years after.

Credible reports has it that Busola Dakolo was wayward in the past. If it's true do you know how many men she seduced and destroyed. Did anyone crucify her for that.

4. It easily creates doubts and divisions of views. A lot of people find it difficult to believe and they are right.

5. At a time ladies wake up and accuse innocent men of rape over minor disagreements it's necessary "real" victims are "educated" to report promptly to avoid all above listed.

6. At a time when ladies accuse men of rape and its immediately accepted as fact, its proper its reported quickly and early so its easily investigated and innocent man spared and the guilty punished.




As much as we say there's no excuse for rape,there shouldn't be any excuse for a 17 year old that has come to full year of accountability to fail to report a rape attempt let alone a full fledged rape.

First, sorry for your sister's exposure to such things, glad she came out fine. I admire her courage and I wish most kids would be like her.

Back to the topic, are you saying since she didn't come out immediately, she should keep mute forever? How would this help those yet to speak up? Aren't we using this speaking up thing to shadow the real issue on ground? She should have voiced out but she did not so the pastor, if guilty, should now be left alone? Shouldn't we be seeking justice first?

See friend, I am not making excuses for anyone, I am only highlighting reality. We all want rape victims to speak up asap. We want to tell them the dangers of not speaking up in time just as you listed. We are clamouring for the same thing here. But some of them have the fears I listed above and we can't help it. People are different. Whichever way, turning the table to blame the rape victim is outrightly ridiculous. Speaking up immediately or 100yrs later does not in any way undermine their ordeal. We have to chase away the kite before blaming the hen for exposing its chicks. Yes, evidences are lost after many years but speaking when you can remains ideal. Whether people eventually believe you or not, you get to feel relieved. Regardless of how we view this, we must agree that speaking up late does not remove the cruelty of rape. Like I said earlier, the question is if the man did or not. Trying to shun her down cause she didn't speak up early enough would only discourage past victims from coming out. They'd literally give in to their fears.

All these are distractions. Let's all pray for justice.

First, a kid who does not even know what "uncle" is doing to her is more likely to talk about it innocently and casually. On the other hand, a teen who understands the full implication of "uncle's" action might need some courage to spill especially if the so-called uncle is a well known/respected individual. Such persons usually believe the weight of the immediate saga would be more traumatic than the rape itself (wrong). Some believe speaking up will expose their perceived loss of dignity to the world (this why some parents fly their children abroad after rape incidence). Some would be thinking about what their fate would be if people do not get to believe them. In fact, self doubt would normally creep in and gradually they recline and keep it in their hearts (forever sometimes). If you've never been a victim or have no close person who's been there, you might never appreciate this.

Secondly, I don't even understand why the emphasis is on how long it took her to come out. Does time change the concept of rape? Even if she spoke up after 50yrs, the question is, did the man do it? The good thing is that she's not keeping mute forever and other victims would derive courage from her case. It would have been a different thing if the man had come out to apologise (maybe before now). In that case, we'd be saying he did it before he met God.

@OP, what makes the lady a slay queen?

Ralphjoe:
why will any adult be bathing outside for God's sake, it's not proper, she probably does not have shame, well the lady videoing her is wicked, posting it online is more evil than anything... guys check out a browser where you earn Bitcoin directly to your wallet as you browse normally, download it below and start getting paid as your browse.

She was within the premise and probably thought the fellow lady had some sense.

Zhegx:
Some comments under the original post are just plain stupid.......Some dumb girls are telling her she is "living her best life" and calling her a strong woman... smh. She has every right to enjoy herself but she is the antithesis of the word "role model"....

You want everyone to be cursing her just like y'all do on NL? Sorry, not everyone is a hater.

Y'all are calling her Olosho yet I'm sure some of your body counts are greater than hers.

Hypocrisy everywhere.

Atiku:
Ghana

I'm sure you didn't get my question.

Bunch of perverted idiots.

Neoteny:
Of course she can clap all the back she wants and such nonsense

But your initial position that everyone else should mind their own business, which os a common theme on nairaland, is quite wrong

There's nothing more public and faceless like the internet, and people should be as free to make fools of themselves and express their opinions as they damn well please.

Whether people chose to respond in kind is another matter

Dude, I said that wasn't me! Check the user names. Hian!

Neoteny:
I'm referring to your position that seems to suggest people have no right to say negative things. The internet is quite brutal and unforgiving, especially to celebrities. If they can't develop a thick skin then they should refrain from posting any little thing about themselves.

Lol... not my position, look at the user names. I only quoted you cause I have an alternative perspective. The internet is brutal, people should develop thick skins; all true. But just as the person posting should have a thick skin in case trolls come for him/her, the trolls themselves should also have thick skins in case the poster decides to clap back. So that she clapped back doesn't mean she does not have a thick skin, she's only contributing her own quota to the brutality of the internet. Besides, it's only a picture of herself she posted and virtually everyone puts pics online so this is not a typical case of "any little thing about themselves". We're only talking about it cause she's a celebrity.

Got my point?

Is that an Irish drink?

Iyketeam:
The behaviours are numerous

Table of content
Academics.
Friendship
Lecturers' Phobia
Lack Of Association
Chasing Shadows

Read here ==> https://www.iyketeam.com.ng/2019/06/negative-behaviours-among-nigeria.html

This is dumb, sorry bro.

Neoteny:
STFU

She did it for attention.

Whoever said social media attention must be positive?

If you can't take the criticism then don't go public

So she shouldn't have responded? Or she should have thanked the troll so it'll be that she's taking criticism?

I see no big deal in what transpired up there. They are both internet users and such things are bound to happen. We're only talking about it cause she's a popular.

Nairaland boys' obsession with the feminine gender is simply alarming.

Please, which one of them is Zlata?