₦airaland Forum

Ideyontop: there are more better houses in abuja!

sharap

Kaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii dis kind story dey make me vex. D mother in law dey craze?

tarryT: E ...The poor will always be with u......The Super Eagles deserve much more...

u no well

Nawa oooo. Abeg dis money giving don do na. Ah ah. Na wetin na. Poor people full everywhere na.

Even though I don't like her cos of her BBA 4kup but I still shed tears when I heard about her death. RIP my dear.

Buy her flower and hang ur 2 balls (akpa amu) on top.

Report coming in from vatican city shows that pope benedict xvi is to resign on feb 28 2013.

Am foreseeing anoda plane crash ooo. Tb joshua pls warn them not to go ooo.

Who tell u say I need job? I am gainfully employed.

All these ogogoro policemen sef

Mba

Dis is everlasting sex

Don't have a car yet. so no commet

Na lie

He must be those dangote's sons in diaspora

Tonto dike

E be like say our reps no get work again

Lagos State government today gave actress Ngozi Nwosu N4.5million to help with the treatment she needs urgently. The actress has been battling with a kidney and heart-related ailment for a while now and needed N6million for treatment abroad. She raised N2million from well meaning Nigerians a few weeks back and needed N4million extra.

Ngozi can now have the treatment she needs thanks to Governor Babatunde Fashola.

Pls is dis woman d owner of rita lori club for surulere?

u sure say no be she kill her twin sister because of that man

wat of me? after my lecturers gave me third class in school am now a big boy. even feeding some lecturers.

i no know say my job na machine oooooooooooo

pikin go be 7+6= 13 feet

Private sex equals private pregnancy. Stop denying it.

Do I look like a homo?

What is he still waiting for before he die? Die he no die, come back he no come. Abeg my brother dey warm up for deputy governor oo

CohenJane: monkey. this is all you have to say. sorry for the man and woman who laboured hard for you to have education

you are very stvpid for dat ur comment

Who is dis man and how does his wedding concern nairalanders?

Tb joshua's prophecy

Intrepid!:
Nigerian Navy chopper with bigwigs na im Timi Dakolo wey nobody sabi dey claim say e suppose enter. Dem suppose give that modafoka slap for trying to attain some measure of popularity with this disaster. RIP to the dead. The people that caused this crash know themselves.

see me see trouble oo. Dat dakolo deserve presidential slap.

african football matches are full of corruption, if not how can a club score 20 goals against its opponent in a single match?

8Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8. On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8. And on Thursday she came with another option by saying 7 + 1 = 8.
If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

LOVE
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

FATHER
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: 1 year older then me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born


Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Singapore, Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me, Sir.

BALD
Teacher: How come you do not comb your hair?
Akin: No comb, Sir.
Teacher: Use your dad's then.
Akin: No hair, Sir.

SEA LEVEL
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did you get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do you mean 'under water'?"
" They are all below 'C' (sea) level!"

STINGY
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know Maths.
Ted: You don't know my father! He will not give me anything.

Budget Cut

To surprise her husband an executive's wife decided to stop by his office.

On entering the office, she saw the secretary on her husband's laps.
In order to defend himself the husband said "budget cut or no budget cut management must do something. I and my secretary cannot be sharing this office with just a single seat! Surprise!!!


FATHER and SON

Dad asked his son: whenever I beat you how do you stop your anger?

Son replies: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad asked: How does that help you?
Son: I clean it with your tooth brush.

Tit for tat!!!

THREE GUYS

Three guys were gisting at a beer parlour. The first guy said when my wife was pregnant she was reading a book; a tale of two cities and she gave birth to twins.

The second said his wife was reading the three musketeers and she gave birth to triplets.

The third guy dropped his beer bottle and started running home.

When they got to his house they saw him burning a book and they asked why. He said his wife was reading Ali Baba and the forty thieves and she is pregnant...not in this house ...it can not happen!

Prevention is better than cure; they say!!!

WORKERHOLIC

One day, a man was sitting in his office on the 19th floor of a building when a man came running into his office and shouted,"John, your daughter, Anna just died in an accident right opposite this building".

The gentleman was in panic. Not knowing what to do, he jumped out through his office window. While coming down, when he was near the 14th floor, he remembered he does not have a daughter named Anna.
When he was near the 7th floor, he remembered he was not married yet.
When he was about to hit the ground, he remembered he wasnot John! This is what stress does.

Important!
Take things easy and relax as much as you can. It is not all about work! Work! Work! Work






Feel Hot Jokes



Humor!
Akpors just got a job as a porter in
a five star hotel in Abuja.
The manager told him:


"...in here we give every customer
personalized services and you
have to be very observant so you
know how to address their every
need even before they ask"

Before the manager could finish, a
couple walked through the hotel
entrance and the manager quickly
approached them, nicely took
their baggage and said,

"Welcome Mr & Mrs James, it is our
delight to have you in our hotel.
Please come this way to the
reception"
... and he led them to the
reception.

After the couple had been taken
care of, Akpos asked the manager,
"Has the couple been visiting this
hotel before?"
"No" came the reply from the
manager.
"So how come you knew their
name?" asked Akpos.
"That is why I told you to be very
observant. All I had to do was
quickly look at the label on their
baggage while I'm taking it from
them and see the name on the
tag".

"Oh, here comes another couple.
Why don't you give it a try?"
"Ok" said Akpos and he hurriedly
approached the couple, helped
them with their luggage and said,
"Welcome Mr & Mrs SUPERIOR
HAND MADE LEATHER! We are
delighted to have you in our
hotel..."

The manager fainted!