₦airaland Forum

jaksmillioniar:
are u sure dat u are sick in the brian

I'm sure am not... again, u and i never had a discussion bout that,so check ur command of english words. This is not a tussle,u called on all women folks for being irresponsible and i replied .

Are u sure the reason why ur english is badly composed is because ur father failed to contribute his own quota?

If she goes ahead she has to know that she has to pretend ,let go and choose to always rub his ego. Agreeing to almost whatever he says might work for her but if she cant do all this and more she better run cos he wont change. Any little twitch can make him react violently since he has bad temper.

Haha,mfm madam. That is what pple feel when they see a woman without earrings or makeup,thinking this person will make me happy cos she goes to church or pray. Nah! Not all.
Why will ur wife dictate when to see ur parents,it aint her fault its urs,u dnt value them enough so she in turn doesnt care . As much as men should cleave to their wives and love them doesnt mean they should stop caring bout their parent or abandon them. Go and put flowers on ur fathers grave,ask him for forgiveness,ask God for forgiveness,and forgive ur wife,meanwhile forgiving ur wife doesnt mean u should allow such pettiness from her again. Communicate how u feel bout the way she's acting towards ur parents. Then ur healing will start,depression is bad.

If and when they slap u now u will call on nigerians to help you find justice

The thing ur father did is what some peeps father did and they had to change their birth name to something else forever because of the shame,eg pablo escobar, and u now want everyone to see ur father like an angel he is not.

CSTR1003:
Most girls are taught sex education nowadays from many avenues.

They know far more than their predecessors..

They know enough how to have and enjoy sex.

They just don't care until the repercussions.

And u are speaking from experience because u have raised a teenager before.

When u dont have someone u cant know their value,because pple over thirty are unmarried does not mean u shld label them. Wait till u become a parent of a thirty year old and then u can talk. Its just like saying a man above 30 without a minimum of 10 million in his acct is useless. Stop judging pple unless/untill u walk in their shoes.

Elder001:
Thumbs up dear.
One thing I fault among my fellow men is "hypocrisy and say abuse of patriarchal privileges". Just some days ago and a fellow man who came visiting saw me sweeping the home (that was on Sunday) ,to make things worse when my queen came back from church she asked me if I've prepared food and I answered yes.
My friend Emma started calling me all sorts of name to the point of insulting

He was saying "this leg when you dor give this woman so" and I told him that this is a civilized world that my wife isn't a slave.
He then told me that only a foolish man will cook, wash plates or clean the home when he has a few wife.. my wife was even hearing what he was saying but he didn't care.

I then asked him if his wife is contributing to the upkeep of their family because his wife is a working class, Emma told me that yes his wife must contribute! but he can't cook or wash plates for her. you see what I'm talking about? he started asking me stupid questions .
Instead of quarrelling I kindly told him to quit the talk but he refused an instead went outside angrily and drove off.

U are a good man kudos to ur mum,she did right by you. Sometimes i dont blame men who dont help cos they grew up in an environment where its not practiced ,mostly within the family circle( parent) but for u to come into another man's house and try to run it ,is just utterly rude. It is this kind of men that makes their friends ashamed of helping their wives.

Try and get a phone for any grown up in the house or get a landline,that way u will get to talk to them after the days job/school. Some pple are just bad with phones, but u still need to sit her down and let her know how communication is very essential now that there's a distance inbetween you guys. Goodluck

You dont think? He removed a tooth and u are still there.i did rather u take ur chances,which is leaving him cos the next might be the eyes u are suppose to use and pack ur things or better still that thing that pumps blood by ur left.this is almost a lawless country and he is a police man(THEY ARE DUBIOUS).

Well,her stories might be different,u guys already have a pattern in ur rlt,happy,sad,anger,stubborn,malice, makeup sex etc. This are the normal activity of every relationship but when it includes put downs,violence,verbal ,emotional and mental abuse then that is no longer a safe place.
My advice ,pull out and u both work on urselves first even if u will come back together ,u will come back cherishing each other, and if u wont u still need to work on ur own anger issues for future purpose (New relationship)Pls work on urselves individually by seeing a psychologist...

ChiefAzubuike:
That shows that woman is very irresponsible. She should be looking for other source of making money instead of losing to virtual.
No be her mates the carry pon pon for head for building site.

Not every thread needs ur irresponsible advice. She isnt backing her child and robbing people.

Mayweather,manny,joshua etc are using their strenght to make money but u want to channel urs into a woman by beating the heck out of her and also want pple to support ur ideas.

andymola:
@OP will never report to the forum if the guy comes from her side. that's how they behave. As soon as they are married, they start rebelling against the husbands family members. sometimes they bring their family members and the husband will never complain.

That is not always entirely true,some do and some dont and with this story and what she wrote ,hence the advice.
She wont need to bring it here if it were her siblings cos am pretty sure she can deal with them without them feeling hurt. But reverse is the case when it comes to inlaws u need to careful cos its delicate and that is d reason i thinks she seeks SM. Dont be quick to judge some men go thru stuff like this too.

Another interesting thread,let the fun begin. Welcome back ahnie ,i missed ur stories.

There is a difference btw been disrespectful and been firm,find it.
When u come into a house as a wife some family members wants to start marking their territory,and God help u if u stay together. How will u allow ur inlaw enter ur matrimonial bedroom to gist with a hubby u havent seen all day? If he tries it next time enter d room and sit on ur hubbys lap,and why will ur hubby tell u his family matters more? Obviously he is the one giving his brother the free hand.
All this is happening cos ur marriage is still young but nevertheless u still have to be very firm . It is ur house now and u are his wife.

Elliot2:
Lol. d point any one of us needed help is over,every one is doing pretty well now. i'm nt d one ans d bad name,huh. it is not me he disappoints but d poor woman who suffered to raise us in luv n unity.u dont wnt to see ur children disunited,do u

He did not dissapoint any of u, the only people he owes is his immediate family and his parent. If ur mother had abandon u guys to take care of her siblings am sure u would have tagged her wicked. That u gave ur bro tfare and saying it like u donated a kidney is bizzare. There are pple who give random annoymous pple their organs and their families dont come sitting ariund asking to be compensated.
Get a grip of ur emotions and leave this be. It is distasteful,cos u mention ur sibling comes first before ur wife and hope u know that also incudes ur children, and i feel u hope they gonna also gat ur back like that.... No,life will happen.

This one na jakandeola olunloyo. Did u sniff beer,or these is just ur normal sef.

Ezkid the way u put the write up in ur first story made it seem like u hate u mum, and put all the blame on her alone instead of ur dad too,hence the reply u got mostly, the truth is u are just starting up life and life hasnt even given u trees of lemon to make lemonade so start out ur own plans firstly by moving out. Continue to send them money after u have saved up too , u are not their parent ,its thier responsibility to cater for their young .
Dont worry bout ur mum, the church will feed and cloth her sinnce its her believe not to support u guys.just do what u can.
Nigeria is hard as it is now,people dropping dead cos of too much overthinking.

So wrong to have done that to you,atleast she could have communicated her fears to you. But still u need to forgive her ,continuing with her depends on how much u can let go and try and forget. Let the matter stay buried forever if u choose to forgive her and try and rebuild the trust only if she is willing to change.

If u feel u cant continue with her u need to be certain u also haven't exibited same character before(cheating) on her.

nahzyla:
You can write a thesis on the hypocrisy of Nigerian men.
They want you to contribute financially but they will never share kitchen work,
they want to cheat and be naturally polygamous but wives Must stay faithful,
they want unconditional submission from their wives but can not follow Bible instruction to love their wives like Christ loved the church

etc

You are correct,i was watching a programme on cnn this morning where they did a short documentary on men behind bars and what i deduce from that is not so far fetched from what i always say. Men are the cause of all this things going wrong,from objectifying women ,domestic violence,rape,drugs,etc. some men always feel they must prove a point to people eg ,men dont cry,its a sign of weakness to love a woman,women are only after money.
Society also doesnt help,telling a man he needs to get married so he can get someone to clean up after him. Our mothers did the house work with either a sibling staying over and with a light weight work load that ensures u close early. Reverse is the case now . Men want u to work,share all responsibilities and also take care of the home front while u close from work at almost same time and still expect you to take the cheating aspect like its a normal thing in marriage.

FKMagazine:
But it d3oesn't change the fact that, men are the head of any Godly household & they are architect of raising Godly children. ''A woman alone can't raise a Godly child". Pls quote me.

But same men want to run out of marriage not because of infedelity on the women part which the bible clearly quotes, but mostly because divorce favours them most,and there by leaving the children most of the time with the woman ,forgetting that everybody has their role to play in modelling a childs life. Am not disputing the fact that men are the head,am just saying they have failed in handling that role thus making some women take the baton as single mothers.
Most men now also wants to share responsibilities equally as a matter of right;but wont want the woman to share in d decision making.

Safiaa:
this is nothing new. Men of this generation are extremely feminine and take no accountability for their actions. Everything is the fault of someone else. Whether it’s infidelity, failure or just general life obstacles. Women are becoming more masculine, taking the place of men, being the wife and husband of the household. But what are we to do when women are raising male children by themselves? Men are being raised by women so they have no masculine energy to learn from. Sad.

I say it everytime,every shifting power the woman has today was given to her by a man ,cos of there failure to be upright and be the head they so much want and yhat which God called them to be. I like ur right up.

My mum was like this till i got married and as much as they think they are doing right by u ,girl ! u might get all f....d up and end up with the wrong person in a bid to just get away. The only solution is get a job and get it fast, if not u might loose urself trying to satisfy them .

edoman2016:
No man will abandon a good and loving wife to become a single mother. Most single mothers are feminist. They are arrogant, rude and unsubmissive to their husbands. They are full of troubles in marriages.

Even Bible supports a man to run away from a troublesome wife and sleep peacefully on a tree.

Remember same bible said once you divorce u remain so till ur ex spouse dies. But we choose what suits usfrom the bible and work on it. It takes two to tango. When u bring true love to the table u will recieve true submission . Being the head doesnt mean u control ur spouse just as being a president doesnt mean u control the country ,u still get to delibrate.

If this is how men and women think then there would be no marriage. I cant see anything wrong with what she did asides burying her head in church activities which can be sorted out by talking to her and stating ur displeasure the same way u will wish to be spoken too.

coputa:
He should leave the seat for your lazy fada,abi.Do you think he is the problem of Nigeria.You are the problem.Nigerians.

Since u want to be insultive ,its okay. No! He should leave it for ur dumb..s father. I didnt know that i cant state my mind without a clueless person responding with insults,and here is a boy looking right and left for what he cant find within himself. There's not a single idea,everything confused,a clear harmonic progression cant be found in ur statements. U can go on and kill urself with rants,every insults returns back to u .

coputa:
You are among the lazy youth,No doubt.

And that is the reason u replied? Nigga u lazy too.

coputa:
for who,your brother who is the messiah.Nigeria growth is tied to everybody in this country and not buhari and his cabinet.We are all genetically linked by corruption and nepotism.

No! Ur father who is the alpha.

Ezkid:
I guess you'll give anything to have her back if she abandoned you in your childhood days, smh for African mentality, they always idolized their parents even when they lack parental care, its not my choice to come through her and as such she owed me a living, those spilling trashes here have forgotten that you can only take care of your parents if they took care of you. She unwittingly cut her source of income thereby denied those innocent kids the good lives they deserved. Im just over 20 and I have kids sisters and brother, now their responsibility has indirectly fallen on me because sometimes when dad isn't around I took it upon myself to feed them with my hard earned money including her, it has become obvious im on my own on issues regarding my education and I've accepted my fate but what I won't accept is feeding her with money im 0supposed to support myself and my education with.

There are plenty people who grew up as orphans and they didnt die. Some have parents and they still trained themselves. Am surprised u never appreciated when she was the bread winner and how ur father has to spilt the lil money he had between u guys and a rick ross stepmother.
Boys usually have emphathy towards their mother but the kind of disdain u have for ur mother might turn out to affect u pyschologically . Alot of parents dont even send their wards to the uni in the west especially the ivy league schools ,most go through scholarship and also do summer jobs . Pls stop habouring anger thoughts over ur mums attitude,anf allow pple to air their opinions.

Stupid man, they wont see their childrens future. Howccan u claim to get a prophecy and be opening mouth like parrot and devouring it. Fake man,fake agbada,fake vision.