₦airaland Forum

Mtcheew.....

Get the job and apply for a study leave ltr.. or do your masters online.

PuZZyNegro:
It's not about affording or not. It's about knowing when to ask.

This guy has been living his life. All of a sudden, because I sent him 20k, he now needs 30k. That's absurd.

I need the money more than him even if I have it

It is a thing of the mind ,and a bad one at that. Some pple put u on a payroll every month for their upkeep. Sometimes even asking you money for naming ceremony. I can't even call my parents or siblings for money, except it is almost live and death situation. We all know the country is hard on most pple nowadays.

Also he's been surviving before u came around. If u can afford it give him and tell him your mind so as to avoid next month payroll cos he's coming back.

Shut up and go write memo like this for the so called displaced herders .

Odewaleadesoye:
I support the castration and death penalty


But let's look at this:

Mrs. Tonto Dikeh Said below (bolded)

But how can we eradicate rape when the so called ladies are not helping themselves with indecent dressing?

Don't get me wrong, I didn't support rape.
Only fools rape.

Do minors also dress indecently? rapist have psychological problem that should be addressed by locking them up or taking the weapon(pe...is) away from them. Let see how u will get the urge when you are locked up or don't have the so called devil underneath you(atleast that's who they blame for it).

Kyrian1118:
This morning around 3am my wife and I were having sex and the kids were fast asleep , I couldn’t bother to locked the door because I knew they were fast asleep and none of them would wake up , as we continue I was in the mood about to cum when my son of two years walked into the room shouting for his mummy I was still on the top of her and doing it slowly because I was about to cum without my son noticing , it was dark too.

I whispered to my wife to not say anything we will keep quiet until he leave but while I was still riding his mother in silence , he climbed to our bed and started crying mummy where are you, at this point I had to allow him to go to his mum , I was so angry and locked myself to the bathroom and mastrubate until i cum. This is not the first time he has been doing this .
I came out of the bathroom and he was asking me so many questions which I ignored him and slept. I left for work without playing with him like we do every day.
I am beginning to hate him because he is trying to separate my wife and I . Anytime we are busy he is also interfering and our two daughters of eight and four are never like him , I do allow them to have their mum attention during the day all day unless they are at school and why can’t he allow me to enjoy my wife at night . I feel like my son want to take over my wife and I hate him. What do I do to stop him for interfering between my wife and I ?

If all this is true then you need to go check ur mental state asap, how can u even bring urself to hate ur 2years old toddler. Don't start maltreating that boy because of sex,things are happening now.

This thing is common than you think, if and when you can't pray to God to give you discerning spirit ,then you end up with vultures like them.
There are good men of God and there are evil ones ,but how do you know if you don't pray on ur own so you won't fall victim.

This is how foolish women keep bringing their fellow women down , while men try to raise each other.

If I come out and say a woman without a car doesn't deserve a man some idiot will still agree with me.

All this unnecessary comparisons is why there are rampant women fornicating and committing adultery just to be at the so called top. Live and let's live.

sacajawea:
A lot of people have died from the Second Strain of this Virus Disease and we know it, but Nigerians on the Internet being controlled by the devil, do not want to believe it.
It is stronger, deadlier and Tougher. People who are not at risk have seen something.
This government despite being very irresponsible and Selfish still is reasonable and Worried enough to take measures. Una never see anything.

If only people know that this strain is deadlier , they will comply and avoid crowded public spaces. May God keep guiding and protecting us.

As much as what she did is wrong and betrayal of trust, survival instincts kicked in coupled with staying In an unfamiliar territory. You guys didn't have a plan.

Let her try and secure a place first since u don't have any funds for now.

The condition of this country is pathetic as it is now. But u don't have to make the same mistake ur fiancee made, so as not to compound ur problem, so use that time to start ur nysc and safe some cash except you have some good cash stashed somewhere.

NaijaOlosho:
Clout

You can do your burial without the notice of the Govt.

Sorry about your daughter but stop chasing clout and respect your girl

It's very easy to know u don't have her type, you can't have a to lose and bury a child an utter this rubbish.
Obviously there is curfew,flights ain't working either.... Reason she is pleading.

ikeno:
u guys should try and set him up with a business atleast something he can be doing so as to be be getting little money.with that am sure him be more focus

Did u read or just decided to write this so u also can make a comment.

Marriage is all about commitment, not from one but both spouse.

The mistake most pple make is leave the commitment part to one party.

Sometimes marriage is one sided and pple believe they have a good husband / wife cos they ain't aware or haven't paid enough attention to their spouses sacrifices to make it smooth for them.

Endurance is the ability to endure an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way. So yes marriage is to be enjoyed and also endured, that's why the phrase for better or worse comes into the vow.

Also, I believe God himself knows how hard its for a man to love one woman(his wife) for the rest of his life and how hard it is for a woman to submit to her husband, hence the commandments to do so.

Romanoff:
The same marriage that some are jumping out of.

The same marriage some are sharing bitter stories, some discouraging singles.

Dear Lord, give us wisdom to build Godly homes.

She also opted out of her first marriage cos of domestic violence, had it been she had stay put, what she will be experiencing now will be pains and agony.

She got it right the second time. No man or woman is worth wasting ur life over.

May God bless our homes and give us peace.

yettymuse:
How y’all allow a man hit you still baffles me.

You don’t know the power you carry as a woman!

Some of you take so much all in the name of marriage. You still need opinions from a faceless forum before you make a decision. It’s very clear that most women don’t know what they want.

What do you want to hear?
Stay for your kids and watch war room!

Exactly my thoughts ,the power that women carry.....
OP, I would advise you leave, with all u have said even his family wants you to leave him . U should have been planning your exit since. As sweet as marriage is, it takes Two to tangle. First thing is to really be sure this is what you want and stand by it, next build a case against him by getting evidence of the verbal /physical abuse, then get a good Lawyer the law will mostly favour you when it comes to those children. Lastly, one life , it is really a waste of life to end up and live in an abusive marriage,no man or woman deserves that. Know ur worth lady

SimplyFacts:
As a husband or wife, what are the helpful measures that one could take to absorb anger when one's blood is boiling

I think to just have it at the back of ur mind that anger causes high blood pressure, Research shows that in the two hours after an angry outburst, a person has a slightly higher risk of having chest pain (angina), a heart attack, a stroke, or a risky heart rhythm. So choose if you want to live long in health or die trying.

See this as a test,one of many lessons in life, even though it seems overwhelming, it sure will pass.

Just keep ur head afloat. Sometimes it's gets very tough once you are at the end of the tunnel ,so don't loose hope.

And remember that the only person u can totally rely upon is God.

Children are capable of learning different Languages at the same time, explain this to your husband and tell him to do some research on this.
It's very important that they learn to atleast speak and understand one of ur dialects. God forbid if anything happens in the future they will easily identify with a either of ur tribes.

This are things you discuss when u re in an intertribal rltship. Nevertheless if ur husband still restricts you then start inviting any of the grandmas especially "his" ,then do a follow-up.

If this is ur own problem this 2020, you are finished. If by now how to gain independence and fully become a man is not ur priority then you've missed it.
Dey there dey look wetin no concern you. And if you feel too pained about it ask your brother to give the clothes to you to wash.

No go dey reason am say u wan go tell them for una family house. Reason many couples don't want inlaws that poke their noses in their affairs around. Marriage itself is stressful, don't add ur own archaic mentality.

Curses are real, and some pple don't even need to add jazz for it to make manifest. Try and ask for forgiveness then genuinely ask God to forgive you. No go dey reason say nothing go happen coz when and if it happens another person might share in it with u, and those who advice you to ignore won't be there with you.

Being an overprotective parent can be bad because the child might grow up with plenty insecurities and low self esteem. But the way nigeria is and based on the fact that our police and legal system doesn't work much, makes it more difficult to raise children. And all this rape,police brutality, kidnapping, poisoning,domestic violence, witchcraft, bad gangs etc, some parents just want their children by their sides everytime.
It can be dangerous been an overprotective parent, my take is teach them all survival skills and pray for them.

Ohraykon:
dis one na jjc you no even know as e dey go

Don't mind him, how many masturbation does Tyson fury says he does in a day. American jail will clear ur eyes.

Pls it's a pram not a baby carrier. I opened cos I saw baby carrier. It's confusing.

Hunye:
My mother in law made the arrangements, got a single mother that was in need of money,my husband slept and got her pregnant, she delivered a set of twins after which she was settled with money and she handed the babies over.
I was called by mother-in-law to come carry the children and nurse them as mine but I couldn't. I Know I can't possibly love those babies, they will always be a reminder of my childlessness and that what I couldn't achieve over years, a woman achieved it for my husband in a twinkle of an eye.
To be honest, I no longer love my husband. But he still loves me and making everything possible we come back together.

U can't force love, it's not easy accepting ur husband back and continuing your role as a wife and adopted mother. 3rd party interference ruined your marriage.
As for the second guy he looks more shady and might come with lotta baggage.

U may Accept ur husband back cos u gave him the go ahead to rear an offspring through another woman, u could have weighed ur option and opt out before accepting their terms ,but u choose the latter.

Men are fast to hit women because they are not physically as strong as them. But when it comes to dem dudes, they just laugh over it and say men don't hold grudge but meanwhile it cos thats another alpha male and you don't quite know if u can take him.

OP I have also seen where a little reset slap overtime turns to one blind eye/ partial deafness .violence whether from a male or female is absolutely wrong.

We don't have control over what people say or how they treat us, however we do have control over ourselves and how we react towards one another that is what men and women should train their body and mind to adapt to.

If you don't first try to make an effort in introducing yourselves to each others parents then u are wasting ur time. Go ahead and get to know how well they will take her and vice versa.
There is nothing wrong in marrying pple you don't have common backgrounds with e.g. religion / tribe. But be ready for any rejection or disappointments.

One more thing I hope you guys have talked it through, religion and intertribal marriages needs a deep counsel. E.g.. All the things u need to understand 'bout each other's religion, tribe and family. She might still want to continue to practice her religion.

Goodluck.

See the truth is that for most pple it's those things we sacrificed ourselves doing for our partners when in a rltship that hurts the most when d relationship collapse.

It's evident you don't like to be treated like this, so don't take it, cos one day he will tell you that u pretended and changed after marrying you. Call him aside when both of u are together and let him know u don't appreciate the way he spoke to you in the presence of his friend.

He is treating you the way u presented yourself . He his not your husband , so he doesn't have any right over you.

Sepsis:
Hey guys. I could use a little perspective on something that’s been bothering me. Got married for a little over a year now and I have a kid. The baby is not up to a year yet. The crux of the matter is my wife started stress eating after she delivered. Her weight was normal after delivery so it wasn’t as a result of the pregnancy. After delivery, she started eating a lot of junk. She wasn’t staying with me then - she was with her folks. Her eating wasn’t supervised.

Now she came back all fat and bigger than normal. When we dated, she knows my stance on being overweight. I have a special dislike for fat or thick girls. They always look lazy and clumsy and I’ve never been attracted to a fat lady.

Now she’s overweight. She looks way older than I am and I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to her. When I see pictures of men and their wives looking fit, it makes me wish that was me.

We haven’t taken any picture together in up to six months. She hasn’t taken any either. I can’t post her on my social media because I’m not proud of the situation.

She has a good character and takes care of the baby well. I work full time, run errands and cook for the house. Her main job is taking care of the baby. I have tried to help out domestically to lessen her burden. In fact, since we started living together she hasn’t gone to the market for one day.

I don’t know how to approach this situation. Already I’m sexually frustrated and I’m too young to be feeling this way.

As delicate as this matter maybe , remember this life is short and you need peace and good health, atleast she offers peace as stated by u. rather than frustrating urself have u communicated to ur wife about this, lotta women tend to start gaining weight after delivery especially if they are breastfeeding. Tell her ur fears bout her weight nicely .lastly Marriage is for better or worse ,this are part of its worse for you. No dey go reason cheating as an excuse ooo.

chiefboomite204:
pls I need help... I want people that passed through this stage to help me out.. I am not myself anymore

I also passed through this some years ago, I was monitored but I guess not well enough because I ended up losing the pregnancy.
What went wrong was I already had a tear and was leaking amniotic fluid( this can also close back). No standing, gravity doesn't help atall. But I have heard of babies surviving and been able to be kept in there longer and the chance you have is that u ain't leaking fluid . Be on strict bedrest as they can't tie ur cervix anymore and ask if u can be given steroid shot for baby's lungs. Just make sure u ask questions and get to know there plan ( your doctors/nurse) it's ur right. Best of luck

Same thing am experiencing, but experience has thought me to keep my child warm and I also clean like crazy, did u change his tooth brush,soaked his utensils in hot water vinegar and salt? These are things I do after treatment. At least if I will have to do it I sure want to postpone it further. Pray pray pray.
Again I don't know why he was on drip, but could u do more investigation on underlining problems that might also be a cause. Goodluck( sending my love to him).

Ode leleyi sha.

tohsie:
Hello everyone. I have 3 boxes of cyclogest 200mg pessary to give out. One box is open and I have used a few. It expires 2020 May. I would like to give, preferably, a trying to conceive mum. Please send a mail if interested.
I am a June 2019 silent mum. God blessed me with a baby boy after 5years. I never really had a problem getting pregnant, only problem was with staying pregnant. I had miscarriages, all at second trimester.
I can not begin to describe what I went through. But for God. This baby is an indication that God exist. God was with me before, during and after pregnancy. He is a faithful God.
I used cyclogest 200mg twice daily from week 15 to week 34. I had cervical cerclage done at 15weeks. By week 18, I was funnelling to the stich and placed on bedrest. I was admitted at week 21 with the hope that I will get to week 24 because that was when babies have a chance of surviving.
Even going for a shower was war as I had cramps all the time. The only thing holding this baby in was the stitch. I had lots of emergencies while admitted. Sometimes emergency was because baby's heartbeat stopped when the nurses were listening in (probably because he was very active invitro).
At 31 weeks, I had bad cramps. A test called fetal fibronectin was done. When fibronectin level is higher than 40, it means a preterm labour can happen anytime soon. My fibronectin level was at 250.
I was discharged at 34weeks and had my cervical stich removed at 36 weeks. I had my baby at 37+3 weeks against all odds. I had a labour of less than 4minutes which is what I have always prayed for. You should have seen me climbing stairs and walking around because baby refused to come out. I had the best medical team. Infact, some of the doctors in my team were crying when I gave birth. After my baby came, I can not count how many unbelievable testimonies we have had. He has been a bringer of blessings to us. God answered every prayer I asked for before I got him.
I am sharing this story, howbeit late, to encourage someone. God is never late. Trust in Him, He never fails.
Baby dust on us all. I pray God answers all our prayers and bless all mothers waiting for their own miracles.

Congrats Mama, it shall be a permanent blessing. Just sent u a msg now,won't mind getting the cyclogest. Thanks