₦airaland Forum

This thread should be re-titled:

"Reasons to give me work to do"

Your signature betrays your post as an ad.

Serves them right. India is a slum and hates blacks.

But what's with nigerians and hostile countries?

India. Libya. South Africa.....

It's a crying shame how the word hilarious is being abused in nairaland.

"Man lost his job. See hilarious replies".

Smh.

What Dino still doesn't get is that celebrating his graduation is beside the real revelation by sahara:

Dino was a mediocre student.

We wouldn't have known otherwise, with all the false claims of Harvard and London business schools.

I don't know how mediocrity is cause for celebration.

SR still won the day.

spartan117:
Sahara reporters *yawonon* Hope I got dat spelling right pls someone should quote me to give the correct spelling to the expression on dino's face

The correct espression on Dino's face is:

man baby.

Mentcee:
Good.

The sweet but unanswered question now is; has the dullard presiding over affairs in Nigeria ever seen or touched that kind of cloth?


I'm not talking about wearing same!

By the way, I'm writing a book titled THE IDIOT CALLED BUHARI.

Pls click like to agree that Buhari is a brain dead illiterate.

This is getting stale.

He's still president.

You're a nobody.

How's that certificate working out for you?

timilehing:
BEDC charges N34+kobo per unit for prepaid since January

Discos don't fix rates, NERC does.

dimexy247:
Oh boy! Fear grip me sha! If olosho be 2.6 billion, wife materials don finish for market be that ooo buh wait who calculated this maths?

I did. Conservatively.

Wife materials are not more than 800m.

Even then you need to smack some sense into them.

sekundosekundo:
Deeper life and Lord's Chosen are pure Bible believing Church.

Like i said, i respect deeper life to a greater extent.

I've no respects for the modern voodoo churches who operate worse than MMM.

sekundosekundo:
I recommend The Lord's Chosen and Deeper life to you.

Funny enough i always thought deeper life is more honest.

At least they still talk about salvation and are not as worldly as your RCCGs, Omega Fire (even the name sounds shady), Winners, etc.

verygudbadguy:
But the VC should have done that immediately the school was queried na. Do you know what must have happened within the period of one week?

Have you wondered why it is still difficult for Dino to upload the pix of the certificate online?

Personally, i think he graduated but with the way things have played out, i suspect foul!

It's more likely they fixed the graduation probably by doctoring his results.

If that's the case, the VC might not necessarily know the whole truth, or he may know but can still safely say "all available records show dino graduated in 2000".

Those records are available, whether real or fake.

sekundosekundo:
Lols, have a nice day my Boss.

Same to you, padre.

Just keep an eye on your wallet.

sinistermind:
The bold words just me laughing hard... Nigerians just want it quick. The Nigerian Church is like every business venture... "where is demand, there is supply"....

There are pastors running different departments.. One is for single people, attend his church and you'll miraculously find a partner. Another is for women search for fruit of the womb, wen a woman goes there, she get pregnant miraculously and the list goes on..

And all you read in the news is pastors knocking up girls, shagging members' wives, defrauding others, buying mansions and cars for questionable celebrities.

But membership in their cults swell.

Now they're so bold they don't answer to pastor; they call themselves "men of god", whatever that means.

Any man looks me in the eye, tells me he speaks with god or he took a trip to heaven and back or placed a curse on someone or brought a dead baby back to life....i'll simply walk out on that crook.

sekundosekundo:
Thank you boss, can we meet.

Why ever would i want to meet you?

sekundosekundo:
Thank God you said 'my wallet' and not yours.
Just to let you know that I am a Christian and I AM SUPER RICH.

I am also ready to meet with you any where in the world.

Lols @ super rich!

Your pastor told you that, huh? He convinced you to believe you're super rich, eh?

HE is super rich, not you. You're broke as fukk with only your misguided faith to your name.

Hocus pocus!

sekundosekundo:
Let your conscience be your judge.

Ok thanks for the sermon, padre.

verygudbadguy:
How come it took the VC 1 week to give this statement.... It took Havard some minutes to debunk the certificate saga.

London School of Economics denied him in few minutes.

Nigeria is a peculiar country, i concur!

He said dino melaye graduated "from all available records".

He didn't say whether those "available records" are authentic or forged.

sekundosekundo:
We sin b'cos we don't know the POWER of God.
If somebody told you that the pastor did evil, will you call it stage managed.

Watch your tongue.

I'm not afraid of your marine spirits and false gods.

I'm even less bothered by those rogues who blind you with hocus pocus with one hand and deprive you of your wallet with the other.

sekundosekundo:
What would have been your reaction if the news was that the pastor slept with Otobo?.

Just another day in the office.

sinistermind:
Sorry for your loss... The name "Jesus" is highest selling brand name in Nigeria

"Prosperity" you mean.

They no longer preach salvation and the supposed humility and simple life of jesus.

Now it's all about dedication of cars and houses, seeding for wealth without hard work, pregnancies without consumation, promotions without merit, marriage without suitability, and spiritual victories.

They pander to the blackman's love of fantasy, laziness, superstition, and deferment of individual effort to some cosmic force like some frigging jedis.

Meanwhile, the silly sheep get mired deeper into poverty while the pastors and apostates fly high and live large without any other source of income.

The average pastorpreneur is richer than the gaddam pope.

It's been 2,017 years since jesus supposedly died. So far not a trace has been seen that he cares about the sheep, nor whether he really intends to return.

Nonetheless, the sheep keep "sowing" while the pastors grow bloated, obnoxious, and ever daring.

Did you ever see the video on youtube where that charlatan TB Joshua was fighting satan's best friend?

Look it up, it's a hoot. Even the last scene of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 is more convincing.

sinistermind:
My brother, i am not just understanding the story at all at all.... when did the baby die? and looking at her sef, she doesn't look like someone who supposedly lost her baby, hours ago

I lost 2 kids. I know how parents, especially mothers, react when their kids ain't breathing.

And that dazed kid is looking as right as rain.

Another stage-managed sham to part fools with their money.

Seems the church is now more lucrative than oil and gas.

Scream:
Why is checking of an ordinary certificate requiring all these ceremonies?! We are not serious as a nation! How many sittings did it take Havard to clarify things when they were mentioned?!

Well, you've to understand that your elected representatives have nothing else to do.

You won't want to know how many trillions will be spent in the name of logistics and sitting allowances after this predetermined charade is over.

Saraki reduced Nass to a joke.

Bwahahahahaha...

Christians.

No wonder Apostate Suleman is spending your hard earned money on oloshos.

Your son "died" on the way to church and you still have the presence of mind to continue on to the church instead of running wild back home to your people.

Lols.

That poor kid was sedated with 50ml of Coflin.

softwerk:
Hmm! Nothing we won't hear!

This sorry excuse is becoming too much of a cliché

What does the hacker stand to benefit by hacking your facebook account to 'correctly' threaten your EX with exposing her nudes?!

Just the other day someone claimed her 'cucumber' video was photoshoped

Nigeria took a dive to the dumps the moment our people heard about photoshop and hacking.

Few even know photoshop describes a product by Adobe, and not a process.

But then, naijans still call any SUV a jeep.

Jacksparr0w127:
Slay queen End of slaying


RIP anyways

Well...she done got slayed.

Er....slain.

Funny how the irrelevant are always given a podium.

Joavid:
You're wicked!!

Hey guys, another one!

Kill her!!

Still can't land an airbus a380

VanBommel:
Banky my nigga....I wonder how someone like him that is so handsome and so good in R'n'B can be single, abi is his village people using his relationship status to fan bole (roasted plantain)?

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

But there's no lagoon in UK nah.

Silly woman.

It's only rape when humans do it.

You don't see animals making a big deal or committing suicide after a bout.

I clicked cos i thought her husband did the raping.

Which would've been far more entertaining.