liquidfaya:
what exactly does a man benefit from marriage?

you tell me.

who is more miserable between married men and women?

which gender asks for marital advice more?

which gender is more likely to ask for divorce?

pryme:


True, but how many of them lived happily ever after?

Some actually, remember that men stand to benefit more from marriages than women.

pryme:


Your Profile says "I am the prize", prizes dont have longevity.

Then you must be very bad at keeping valuable stuff.

lilwetdick:
How is abusing females mate guarding?

Mate guarding has to do with protecting a potential partner from a competitor

mate guarding is simply jealousy.

Both male and female mate guard..

yes it is jealousy, but let's ask ourselves, what kind of men get jealous?

1. insecure men(with egos of all shapes and sizes)
2. A man who realizes that he has a great woman.

A little jealousy is healthy in a relationship, but some of these insecure manchildren resort to covert bullying tactics to keep a woman.

pansophist:


You're actually fooling no one with your tactical reiteration of how you are avoiding arguement, or calling me a keybroad warrior. To me, it seems no more than a shield to prevent yourself submission from been scrutinised and disproved.

It is in the interest of everyone and society to be monogamous, as otherwise is a danger to oneself and society as a whole. There is no single, progressive, democratic society in the history of man that valued polygamy, and for a good reason. Of course some individuals may deviate from this rule, but on a massive scale, it hurts society.

You can do yourself a favour by stop responding, but if you choose to say nonsense and expect to be given a free pass, you are better off not write anything.

when ubunja was encouraging you all to pump and dump, no man thought that monogamy was in his best interest. You were all worshipping his feet and kissing his ass. The irony off it all, LOL

pansophist, The world does not revolve round your opinion, no matter how you set out to make mine seem irrelevant.

you are not my target audience, but you can enjoy the article and move on. I am disengaging from further conversation with you as it is quite fruitless and I value my time.

liquidfaya:
the word is Cuckold. And you don't have the faintest clue what it means.

the correction has been duly noted. .

pansophist:


I suspect that you are confusing the need to protect the family (which is predominantly on men) with mate-guarding. There is no such thing as one gender being predominant in mate-guarding than the other. The determining factor for a particular gender to mate-guard is if his/her partner is of high value, and he/she has a lot to lose.

Generally speaking, men mate guard when their partner is of high reproductive value and physical attractiveness, while women do the same when their partner is of high paternal value. For example, it is imperative that Chioma mate-guard Davido, as he is of high paternal value (social status, wealth, family background, he is also American, a celebrity etc), and being monogamous to him only is an indispensable way she can do that.

Furthermore, it is in the interest of a lady to be monogamous, as her attractiveness and reproductive value decrease with time. Her pool of men queuing to be in relationship with her also decreases with time. This is not a matter of brainwashing, but a matter of fact and observable reality. Also, male mate-guarding doesn't actually stop women from exhibiting their wifi tendencies either, as it is not a new phenomena that women usually jilt their partner to clinge unto other men they perceive to be better quality, just as men also dump their old wife for a younger one. Be objective.

it is not in the interest of ladies to be monogamous, just like it is not in the interest of anyone to have one stream of income.

Men mate guard with a woman they have interest in, a woman who has a chance of passing their genes on. As for the case of chioma and davido, she might mate guard him, but she will soon burnout trying to cuckhold a man, why can't David's be like Mike of BBN. I will always say it that davido is not monogamy material, or quality husband material, but he is better off than wizkid.

THE FACT THAT ONLY WOMEN HAVE A LIMITED REPRODUCTIVE CAREER IS A MYTH. the saying that men age like fine wine and women like milk is also a lie. what is not a myth however, is andropause.

THIS IS ALSO WHY I DON'T LIKE ARGUING WITH KEYBOARD WARRIORS LIKE YOU, YOU USE THE SAME TACTIC OF BELITTLING MY OPINION TO SEEM RIGHT AND BOOST YOUR EGO. I will not fall for it

bayocute:

I am doing that already. But I don't want to give the other girl hope cos I don't know if she would probably choose me over those guys later.

Dont you understand the concept of being open? What exactly is it you want from thiss woman and the relationship? Are you thinking of commitment with this girl? Then give her assurance of your commitment like a private proposal, but tell her that you want a woman who is fully committed, if she still is on the fence, drop her and move on.

pansophist:


If it happened that you defended your position after I pointed out its inaccuracy, and later on, an unnecessary argument ensued after that, then you may have a point. So far, you're still dribbling around without actually responding to that fact that mate-guarding is not a male thing, and also, polyamory by women only works before securing a desirable male.

If you can not disprove the above submission, then you're write up is false and unfounded. And to assume every male moniker on nairaland is up for unnecessary argument is sexist.

Your tone and language is quite confrontatational, please take note.

Mate guarding is a male thing, but do women mate guard? yes they do. But mate guarding is predominantly male behavior, remember that the woman is sure of ownership of her child, the man is not. Remember that females mate guard to get the necessary resources from the only viable male because she has been hardwired to think that monogamy is the way, but males mate guard for any female. female mate guarding doesn't really stop said male from exhibiting Bluetooth tendencies as you like to put it.

ALL IN ALL, male mate guarding is not really a bad thing if he is worth it, as i will explain on how women can take advantage of the situation in part 2.

pansophist:


Of course. You can see how she is in harmony with everyone that agree with her post, but if you constructively challenge her submission, instead of her to respond appropriately, she will either dismiss or call you a misogynist.

Behaviours like these are exactly what will make their write up to not gain the public appeal she want it to. One must be able to defend their stance. Bravery is about how you arrived at your conclusion, not necessary the conclusion in itself.

I am grateful for your response.

The reason i decline to respond is because, i have no guarantee that it won't lead to an argument. Arguing with some males online is like pouring water in a basket. We both won't find a middle ground, and i see it as a fruitless venture and find it better to thank you and move on.

But if i could be assured that this wont lead to an e-war, then we would have that debate in a friendly and non confrontational manner

HarunaWest:
Ur thinking of competing for a lady..You fall my hands sha...Is you game that weak?

Move on. The lady is using virginity story to chop una mugu...

A decent virgin dates only one person not a community. Takia

By the time i am through with romanceland, there would be no such things as decent virgins, only focused virgins with game who know what they want in relationships

bayocute:
I met this girl last month. We exchanged numbers and since then we became close. I started to have feelings for her. After couples of weeks to when we met, I profess my love to her. She told me she would get back to me. We became so close that we're already doing some nasty things even when she his yet to give her response. I got her several gifts, took her out and gave her money even when she never asked for it. The problem is she told me she's a Virgin (I got no problem with this). She told me her ex cheated on her with her friend which led to their breakup but the ex keeps coming back and she can't resist cos she loves him so much. She told me that she loves me too but she can't really say who she love most. So me and the ex should keep competing that would choose whom to live her entire life with. She told me we're like 4 but she love me and her ex the most.
Please Nairalanders, Should I bank on this Relationship or I should just let go. I love the babe so much that I can even stand no sex before marriage. What am I supposed to do plssss?
Forgive my Blunders plss

keep your options open

Funmmyastic:
Nice one Op.

Thank you.
I just want to clarify something, i am not Sandra8

Heroclitus:
She writes like she'd been preparing for war since a very long time...it's more of an attack against a particular gender than an Eye-opener for all

i cannot claim responsibility for the way you choose to interpret my writeup

Alexaonfleek:
Hmmm.
This table you are shaking........
I've booked my space Sha

i am about to shake more tables in the future

Korllami007:

You will start ruining your own thread.

thanks for your input dear

pansophist:
Firstly, mate guarding is not a gendered phenomenon. It is practiced by both male and female equally. Secondly, a woman may be non-monogamous, or polyamorous as you called it, but this is practiced usually before securing the best male she can attract, as she can only get resources from a single male. For men, it is quantity, for women, it is quality.

Men are like bluetooth, he is connected to you while you're nearby, but searches for other devices when you're away (quantity), meanwhile, women are like wifi, she sees all the available devices, but connects to the strongest one.

misogyny and mate guarding has started. i will not argue, for it is not my way. thanks for your input dear

Magnoliaa:
But both genders compete for the other. I don't just know who do it more.

yes they do, women compete too, but men has had mateguarding advantages for centuries

Magnoliaa:
hm, it's clicking. This is very interesting...

Glad it is clicking

Martinez39:
All these girls are confused human beings. Believe me, the sole aim of the female miseducations was to compete with ubunja. They were drawn to the drama and extensive impact of Ubunja's miseducations and wanted the same for themselves. When Sandra launched her miseducations, it gained attention at the beginning from boys but we later ignored it. The drama and revolution (I dare say) that marked Ubunja's miseducations were absent and, for the female miseducations, it boiled down to how long they were going to go on and on in a boring activity that was heading nowhere.

Ubunja is original and seeks to liberate with truth and logic while the female miseducations is based on competition and imitation. Ubunja had substance but his imitators didn't. Ubunja's write ups opened eyes and started the awakening of males by bringing to light something new the boys never knew and Ubunja traced the dots for many. The same can't be said of Sandra8 who mimicked Ubunja's style of writing to tell us what we already knew while trying to sound like a sage. I can't contain the laughter. The female miseducations were bound to fail.

a bad case of asslicking and hero fetish. disgusting

Growing up, we are taught to think that men are polygamous in nature, they are hirdwired to want as many partners as possible thereby entitled and prone to infidelity. Meanwhile women are hotwired to be monogamous and to have one mate for most of her reproductive career. Are women really monogamous?

Contrary to popular belief, it is unlikely that women are monogamous. In a scientific study, it was found that female primate species were naturally opportunistic , mating with as many males as possible to secure more resources for her and her children and purposely confuse paternity. .This was because females lived longer than males and needed more resources to take care of her offspring, especially as carrying young affects one's productivity.

Nature has made it so that males are to compete for the right to reproduce so that only strong genes make it to the next generation. Billions of sperm compete fiercely to fertilise one egg. But a large responsibility of rearing young lands of the female. Child rearing is capital intensive so both male and females had to adapt. females by poly amory, getting resources from many men, not by monogamy.

Since females were not monogamous, males had to resort to what we call mate-guarding in order to ensure they had reproductive rights to a female and be sure of paternity of her offspring. Mate guarding is the physical guarding of a female in order to deny rival males the opportunity to mate with her and is one of the most commonly used defensive strategies observed in mammals. Take note this is very important because :ALL MALES ARE HARDWIRED TO MATE GUARD.

Some male species like chimpanzees have resorted to abusive tactics to mate guard, but human men have taken it up a notch through the use of misogyny. Let's use romanceland as an example, it is filled with more men than women, more misogynistic men are opening female bashing threads, these are the same men that will later slide into your DMs and when they receive a non favorable response, resort to bashing you online to make you less attractive to other men. Has it clicked yet?keep reading

Mate guarding tactics like misogyny, among others,lessens the burden of male mate competition. Why? Because it is easy to bully a woman into submission and cripple her ability to be independent of men in society, than it is to fight off other men. Ever notice how men who beat women can't fight other men? Or reduces his violent frequencies when other men come to her aid and beat him up? Same thing.

Encouraging monogamy and dependence in females, decreases infighting in males and increases infighting in females. Instead of men competing for women, women have to compete for valuable resources from a single valuable male. This role reversal allows men to have the advantage by having ownership a single woman and giving him more time to pursue others instead of fighting off potential rivals. Marriage benefits men a lot more than they want you to believe.

This is why the concept of a 'gold digger' or a 'ho' is demonized by men in society today. It twarts male control over natural opportunitistic female mating patterns.

Ever noticed that 'hoes' and 'golddiggers' end up with successful partners, because these women know how to seize opportunities and trigger the male mate guarding instinct.

Wanna know how to use mate guarding to your advantage in dating ? Anticipate in part 2.
Amatarasha
rehkina
funmmyastic
blackivy27
lefulefu
Ubunja
Martinez29
airforce1
safiaa
pocohantas
adabieku
husbandsnatcha
pettyprincess
funmisticqueen
AstroG
dairykidd

Anonymus010:
I Need The Advice Of Experienced Married Men

NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.

Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.

Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.

Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school.

Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her).

After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry.

Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.

Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid.

Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......

THE PROBLEM:

2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking.

After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.

The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).

I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.

Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.

Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.

this sounds like symptoms of a mental illness, you should take her to a psychologist

Whitewolf8:
Nairalanders please I need your help,I recently met a girl and instantly fell in love, I've already slept with her (i wasn't the one that disvirgined her)when I found out she's 17years old and is still in SS2,she looks bigger and more matured than her age so that's what deceived me initially. I'm 28years and working class. I've been trying to back out as soon as i found out cos i feel like im messing with a minor,and I've been explaining to her why it won't work between us but she's threatening to take her life if I leave. please what should I do?

paedophile

All this story op wrote doesn't work all the time. An ex boyfriend did all these, We both new he was cheating, he never admitted he did it because i didnt catch him in bed, but caught him escorting two ladies out of his room naked when he taught his friend had suceeded in taking me away from the scene. he tried to downplay the whole thing, denied anything happened between them, tried to make it my fault for coming to his house unannounced because I had never done that before.

I didn't even argue or look for a fight, but i was so angry he thought i was that immature and daft but i kept quiet. He even took me out that evening. Went home and blocked his number for a month. I was too angry to even cry, but i did smoke weed that night for the first time. When i finally unblocked him, he tells me he met someone else, and said he felt he would never see me again. But he still wants our relationship to work, he still loves me, and i believed him until I found out he got her pregnant.

Then what i did to him through his new girlfriend is a story for another day (unless you want to know then ask me)and it takes someone truly wicked and pissed like me to pull it off with a straight face. Hell hath no fury after all,i did warn him.

It's two years now and i have moved on and he's still begging somewhat when the new babe drained him financially and in other ways, I still use him on rare occasions

Ladies,the best way to handle men is to control your emotions and use them to your advantage. Men always use emotions to control us.Flip the script once in a while.

RAGGA40:
She barred your line because she's ashamed of what transpired between you and her, in her mind she views herself as a cheap slut.

She is not ashamed, neither is she a cheap slut, she is a true lady who knows her worth. she knew that sex with op was bad news and isn't worth it

Yoloboy098:
read the write up well.. it's not about the sex but reason that could make her barred my line and block me on WhatsApp after she left.. that's what I'm asking

simple! you think with your dick and not your brain. she told you she is not interested, she didn't want to have sex. When her body betrayed her,and she asked for protection, you were still thinking with your dick. A man that does not have self control, that cannot take no for an answer is an immature man and very dangerous.

spongeisback:
So what's the problem here? She refused to have unprotected sex with you and she refused your money. So what exactly did she do wrong

i tire for op

Yoloboy098:
We met one Saturday afternoon in my area ... We exchanged contacts and started texting each other.. I told her about my interest in dating her but she made a statement I cannot forget.. she said she doesn't need love from any guy.. I felt maybe it's due to past relationships that never worked out with her because in our conversations she talked about having some relationships that just didn't work out because she was getting tired in the relationships...

Fast forward.. after a week to two of phone calls and texting .. she came on a visit to my apartment.. I brought up the issue of we getting along together but she said no she wasn't in love with me.. she told me she don't want anything to happen between us.. she said she only like me as a friend but she don't like me for a relationship..

While trying to calm her down into believing my words of treating her right with a good heart.. I realized that while playing with her hairs and running her neck slightly .. she was getting more relaxed by resting more comfortably on the bed.. I made a move on her and gave her a kiss.. she first waved her head away but I went for her cheeks and started kissing her cheeks and neck.. she was getting more relaxed and never pushed me away.. I made a move for her boobs and brought it out and started sucking it and she started moaning and rubbing her hands on my head.. I moved my right hand down.. pull up her gown and made a move for her pussy.. I used the tip of my middle finger to shift her pant and dip my finger into her pussy.. she was already dripping wet and I continued sucking her nipples while rubbing her clitoris faster and started fingering her.. she increased her moaning...

I shifted up a bit to pull off my boxers but she stopped me.. she asked for a condom.. I told her I was not having any but I will make sure I won't realease my sperm into her.. she changed her mood and insisted that if at all we were going to have sex that she wouldn't do it without protection.. after much persuading she still refused . she got up and dressed.. after few minutes of talking with me she said she was ready to leave..

I walked her off .. she even refused to collect the money for bike from me.. she said she has enough change with her.. she got a bike and left.. I sent her a text on WhatsApp to ask if she's home.. I realized that my message only dilivered without being received because of the single mark sign.. I have been calling her but everytime the call goes through instantly it says number busy which is a sign of barring my line

Please nairalanders.. what could make a girl be acting like this

She is sensible, simple. she knows what she wants and you're not it at all. You refused to see the signs that she wasn't interested.

That a lady is relaxing doesn't mean anything, if her mind is not in alignment and she is disciplined then sleeping with her without getting consent is tantamount to rape.


kudos to the girl tho

Best147:
Hope you don dey comot pant? Snap am well oo

lol. maybe another time