₦airaland Forum

lacapine:
I have a 17 years old maid who would be 18 in June. She came when she was 12 and she is like family now. She is in SS1. My problem is her issues with boys. Always keeping boyfriends of which I discourage her big time. Had to ask her why she keeps them, she said because her classmates/ friends have boyfriends.

I have screamed and threatened but she will still keep. What am I doing wrong? Should I allow her just keep them? I teach her sex education though but she says she isn't sexually active. Today, I saw the picture she and the guy posted on facebook holding each other. I lost it today. I flogged and punished her. I'm I being too hard? How do I help her? We wanted to help her till university days but with these, we are scared and reconsidering sending her back after ss3.

How best do I handle this situation.

Listen, I will be brief and my words will be hard to swallow because it is the truth based on experience.


1 When the head of the family makes the mistake of sleeping with the maid "even once" she starts to misbehave to the wife and sometimes even the man as well. That child has been with you since she was 12 and I'm willing to bet that all this boyfriend thing means she is quite attractive in some way. The probability your hubby has slept with her before is high.

Why?

Your hubby, as the head of the house, is supposed to inspire fear and respect from the girl. She can branch when you send her on an errand but should never branch when her oga does the same. it is not normal at all. Another thing is that "Incident of an affrontery" you mentioned. I strongly believe that's proof of a sexual relationship between the girl and your husband staring you in the eyes. The girl no longer cares about what he can or will do. It's how all young girls behave once you tamper with them sexually in an illegal way. Ask any man with experience.

The girls will keep the secret, yes, but they will disobey and insult that man in the worst kind of way. And because the man can never allow the truth to come to light, he will be powerless to do a thing.


Note: In most of the cases *(not all), I have come across where teenage girls suddenly go out of control with boys, an older man they don't like must have tempered with them sexually before.


2. If you want to send the girl back home, which is the right thing to do unless you want her pregnant under your roof, never tell ber of your impending action until the day you make the move.

Take her on a fake trip that ends up in her home and you are done. Best ploy, to help out in a friends marriage. Don't ask her to park, you can send that later or just drop money with her parent to replace the clothes. Just tell her to pick a few things. If your husband or nephew agrees to help and can be trusted. Buy a new bag that can swallow all her belonging in 2 minutes and have it ready *(a huge ghana must go bag is best, but add a paddlock to it). Once you and the girl get on the move. While in the car or out front in the house. Your nephew or husband will do her packing in 2 minutes flat and produce the bag as part of your luggage.


That's it.

Until that girl runs away when you tell her to get ready for deportation and her parentts start to harrass you for their daughter, you will not know how priceless a trick this is.

showafrica:
You sure say ur hubby never Nak her b4? This one she just dey get effontary...

I had your thought too. The girl's audacity is just too much to be ordinary

GboyegaD:
Manage her till the end of 3rd term which is another 3-4months. Before then, take your time to have a heart to heart discussion with her what your concerns are and how you would have to let her go back to her parents after this session since she is hell bent on living a life you are not comfortable with. If she doesn't change, send her back to her parents after the session before people ask you insulting questions should anything happen to her. Also, let her know you beat her because you sent her on errand and she was expected to return home and then seek permission before going to see her friends. This is needed so that the friends do not confuse her with the lies that you do not want her to enjoy the good things in sex is why you are restricting her.

All you have said is correct except the heart to heart aspect. The girl will not listen and if she gets hint that she is about to be 'deported' she will run away. I speak from long experience with maids. None of them over 18 will taste city life and let you take them back home to poverty and village life.


And when she runs off guess who will be held responsible?

Kewtt:
and he is single without kids bah? hehehe life is one.... have a life with meaning my boy.... do not let anyone determine your happiness

I be your boy?

Only if you knew who you dey call boy

CityNGR:
He's mentally weak. No time to mark time to grieve over recalcitrant kids.

Until you marry and have kids of your own you will never understand. Now is the time to feel and talk as you see fit.



Cheers

Talknochip:
That is why i said 'HERE'. We dont have the same culture or tradition with the US or any western Nation.

And yet we speak their language, wear their clothes, use their technology. Even all MC olowo pikin dey US, same as all the rich people and politicians.

It would appear that we are deceiving ourselves

Talknochip:
Signs of early stage of 'Werey'.. How can u deny a child the name of his father? Like who does that to a child here?!. Just hoping the Bad and Negative energy she emotes around the poor kid, would not leave a permanent character flaw on the boy?! God deliver us from every bitter and manipulative Jezebel

All Tripple H's children take the McMahon name of his wife not his. You know WWE superstar HHH right?

Houseofglam7:
A child that'll look for his dad in no distant time
The internet NEVER forgets...

A child always supports the mother 99.9% of the time even where she is horribly wrong. In fact, there is a case study in the UK where all four kids turned against their millionaire father except the youngest.

What did the woman do? She cheated on the man all through their marriage until DNA test exposed her and he sued her for divorce and demanded a huge payout in compensation for the emotional turmoil. His first and second sons, both teenagers, warmed him against it, but the guy paid not attention after all they were just kids.

He won the court case and those same kids moved out of his house with their mother and cut him off. His millions and all


The man was weeping with his new wife by his side on one UK reality show in January this year as he told his story and begged the children to talk to him.

What lesson is here? A mother is very special.

I'm a man, by the way, not a woman supporting a woman.

Go figure.

Jentle244:
the guy opens his mouth anyhow how? I particularly have not heard the husband talk bad about her. if she is still pain she should see a therapist

https://www.nairaland.com/5117076/tonto-dikeh-face-police-ig

Take a look at that rubbish and explain it to me.

hybridblood07:
Why didn't PDP sign into law before they left power?

PDP sign 30k minimum wage into law before they left?

God!

Ignorance like this is a crime!

Jentle244:
the guy opens his mouth anyhow how? I particularly have not heard the husband talk bad about her. if she is still pain she should see a therapist

Then you have not been following her story well.

Jentle244:
if she is strong as u claim she should hold out

That's why I said you don't understand and never will.

Quick question... Is she wood or is her heart made wood?

This one reason why when a person goes out of control and does something bad God understands and forgives. Humans never understand until the same problem hits them then they expect others to understand.


She has held out for so long and you still want more! Is it every day she attacks her husband? or don;'t you know she has been holding out all those days? She only loses it whenever the guy opens his mouth anyhow

ProsidentBuhari:



When a tenant has made more money, his taste increases and he decided to move to a bigger apartment. This is a proof that my administration is a progressive one.

ExxonMobil is a corrupt company.



~ProsidentBuhari

You must be so dumb it hurts.

Apart from Libya which country has more oil than Nigeria in Africa? Nigeria even has the best oil; its so low in sulfur that it can be used directly in some engines.

When Mobil cleared out of Libya before the civil war there, this was how it was. But then you are too you young to know that.

Jentle244:
Even her "beloved" friend the he/she knows that all her ranting is becoming stale. No body cares anymore. even the ex no send



my kind of guy

You don't understand and no one seems too. What you are seeing in that women is what extreme love does when it turns to total hate. In this kind of love, you give all and your acting career. in the hate, you just regret so much you wanna kill.

Tonto is using her words to kill... I'm sure you've heard stories where women murder thei4r boyfriends and husband. Tonto is not a murde3rs but she possesses the same hate now.

That is a very strong woman you are insulting.

nwanyionitsha:
Shut up! And what is onicha?

Agu Ndigbo, you should learn to take it easy on fools like that guy who obviously hasn't crossed Niger Bridge before

BuhariAdvocate:
Ipobs will do anything for money chukuemaka is a leader of committee on health care.

Is that the name of your father?

Hello, people

I need your help and it has to do with a visual USA phone number.

I'm stuck in verifying my Amazon account cos I am a Nigerian. Took me 5 days to figure out that Error message I was getting was just due to my location and that was after I googled the issue.

https://www.ogbongeblog.com/amazon-affiliate-phone-verification-problem-in-nigeria-resolved.html

They recommended using an app for it but my phone is not right at the moment and connecting to playstore is one of the problems it has got.

I would really appreciate it if someone and i could hock up of WhatsApp and he just takes the verifying robot call for me and dial the pin given... that's all


Please help before Nigeria kill me

Kelvin30286063:
Okay, I'll subscribe to your channel and you will in turn subscribe to mine.

Hello, Kelvin

I need your help and it has to do with a visual USA phone number. I remember hearing you say you have one.

I'm stuck in verifying my Amazon account cos i am a Nigerian. I would so appreciate it if we could hock up of WhatsApp and you just take the verifying robot call for me and dial the pin given... that's all

lilmaydee:
I am 29 years old but if you see me, you wouldn't believe me, because I look like a 13 year old boy.

People naturally disrespect me because of this. There was a time I and my nephew were living together, he is well built and as such dates ladies older than he is.

So one day, a lady came to visit him, she met me at home and asked of him which I told her he wasn't around. Then she called him on the phone. But what pained me most was that she said " hello baby, I'm in your place now but I met one small boy who said you weren't around. My nephew had to call me back to apologized and also told her that that's his uncle oo, but the silly Lady just said how come he looks so small.

I can't approach mature ladies, for fear of being embarrassed. All these small girls, that I decided to ask out, after one week will begin to disrespect and cheat on me. Even employers do exploit me. I remember, one employer like that that said what does a small boy like me wants to do with money, just because I told her I can't accept the amount she offered to pay me.

Please how can I put on more weight and look more mature, that is, look my age, because people don't respect me a bit.

Grow a beard. a heavy beard

SmellingAnus:
I perfectly agree with Waconzy

Until Pastor Tunde Abija dupes you then you come here and tell us your story and ask for donations cos the Man of god left yo nothing

damosky12:
It actually prooves it. This one that danced naked publicly knows someone that is telling the "truth"... ...

Actually, it only takes a demon possessed to defend another demon.

You don't know anything

tsdarkside:
your head is full of white poo....

And yet it has beaten you and your useless white education

ElsonMorali:
yes Sir.

If you ever got a problem publishing yours contact me for free advice. Publishing is one thing but selling is another. For every book, you publish 100 Americans have something better. Put a foot wrong and you can spend 5 years without selling a single copy.

ElsonMorali:
My dear guy, I didn't offend you in anyway, so I don't think there's any need to apologize.

I myself I'm a writer and I have a book on tract with a foreign publishing firm.

I love books and I devour them. I have only critiqued what I read from your label and I've told you what would put me off from buying your book if it ever got printed.

But, pay me no mind. Maybe I don't know anything anyways.

All my books are printed and sell...

I sell even whee other Nigerians don't. In fact, its my full time job.

ElsonMorali:
"A military action and adventure romance novel series". Like for real? That alone is a big put off. It tells me first hand that the author doesn't know which genre he is writing for.

Then it also shows me that if the writer can lump all those unseemly adjectives together in one sentence, then there's going to be a problem with his grammatical structure. No offence.

On second thoughts, lets do it this way...

God here and read the reviews of the story got when i first published it on Nairaland. The reviews are only there not the story.. deleted it and added links to it on my website and there you can read to the full part 1 for free.

https://www.nairaland.com/3185856/dirty-diamonds-boko-haram-part#46881773


First title of the book was .... Dirty Diamonds Of Boko Haram but that changed on completion of the series.

The book you are criticizing was one of 2 that established me as one of the best writers on the Literation section of Nairaland. In fact it's on the list of best military stories on thsi forum... I have no idea where that thread is now but dig it up and you'll find this story there.

Dig up any list of best authors on Nairaland and you will find me there.

If you are gentleman enough to come back and apologize, maybe you'll get the part 2 for free. That's if you love books, of course.

ElsonMorali:
"A military action and adventure romance novel series". Like for real? That alone is a big put off. It tells me first hand that the author doesn't know which genre he is writing for.

Then it also shows me that if the writer can lump all those unseemly adjectives together in one sentence, then there's going to be a problem with his grammatical structure. No offence.

No offense taken.



Go register on Amazon or any other American bookstore and go through the different genres then you can come back here and apologize. I'll wait.

KingSango:
The AK is the greatest assault rifle ever made. Sure there are those rifles of superior quality yet are not reliable under all battle conditions. Less disciplined units can operate the AK from poorly trained guerilla units, third world drug dealers to anybody desiring a powerful weapon without sufficient experience in weaponry. Many third world nations became free and independent because of the AK47. Its the revolutionaries rifle. If given a choice who wouldn't choose a higher quality weapon than an AK yet if not given a choice it's good being stuck with an AK.

A billion thanks to you, you just said it all.

The AK-47 is not the best assault rifle in the world at the moment but the most popular and for very good reasons. It's cheap and very dependable.. but the best part is that in that way aboki can make a Sony TV use Samsung engine, Toshiba panel and Dewoo remote control so also can this gun be made to work.

Personally, i have no first-hand experience here but from all i have read, this gun is the main reason why all the terrorists in this world, though poor, will always be well armed.

Curlieweed:
[s]car·tridge
/ˈkärtrij/Submit
Learn to pronounce
noun
plural noun: cartridges
a container holding a spool of photographic film, a quantity of ink, or other item or substance, designed for insertion into a mechanism.

synonyms: cassette, magazine, cylinder, canister, container, capsule, case, pack, packet, package

"the toner cartridge slots neatly into place"

a casing containing a charge and a bullet or shot for small arms or an explosive charge for blasting.

synonyms: bullet, round, shell, charge, shot, casing

"a rifle cartridge"

a component carrying the stylus on the pickup head of a record player.[/s]

Actually, the original spelling is "Carkerege"! The Englishman that first crafted the casing centuries ago put his name on it, but that was later modified to "cartridge" which you are using to boast today like it's your family's property.


When next you go to google don't copy everything. Get rid of stuff like this... "car·tridge
/ˈkärtrij/Submit" then you come here and preach like the thing is coming from your brain.

Give your balls a break, boy!

I'm not jobless like some people, you see, and certainly have no time to teach fools grammar, the essence of commas and full stops etc., even while I watch my typos on a phone .

If it's an English lesson you need, go over to the literature section, open a thread and mention me in a challenge I will answer you with great pleasure. That is my domain!

Thank you very much in advance

Curlieweed:
You sound like you’ve never seen a rifle before, not to talk about holding one in your hands.

I don’t have the time or energy to argue about stuff that’s very obvious. If you live in the states, visit a gun range, find out how rifles work and why they are called “rifles”, then read your comment again.

There are rifles that are capable of using different rounds (like both the 5.56mm and 7.62mm), but they all come with interchangeable barrels. Sadly for you, the Kala isn’t one of them.

Even when I attended military schools and the Nigerian police and army carry them all over the place and I have to defend my home in the village with my own rifle... I agree with you I have never seen a rifle before or held one.

Rounds are bullets, just one shot. cartridges contain rounds.

Many guns are designed to use more than one kind of ammo but not all can interchange cartridges. I don't have the strength to argue. If you know, you know. If you don't, just walk down your Nigerian street you should see a policeman to answer some of your questions.

And we ae talking Assualt Rifles not 'rifles' ... there is a difference in terms of category and generalization

Sadly for you, the Kala isn't part of your knowledge base I actually expected you to mention the 9mm

Curlieweed:
Oga,

AK47 does not use the same “cartridges” as the M16. AK47 uses 7.62mm rounds while the M16 uses 5.56mm (NATO) rounds. This is elementary, common knowledge.

Haba!

It wasn't made to but it can use cartridges from most of the major rifles in its class. Another gun like that is the Lugar pistol. It can use multiple ammo. Most shotguns work that way too, pump action and double barrels use exactly the same cartridge.

When you jam new information try to figure it out first before condemning. Get out of that crippled mindset of normal nigerians.

And one more thing... there is nothing common about gun knowledge, at least not for you. For instance, to tell me how many bullets are in the cartilages of the guns you mentioned so fast you'll have to rush off to Google, right?

Is this common?