₦airaland Forum

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

lavylilly:
Hotel business

At first i chopped money like there was no tommorrow, it a low budget hotel with sales of about 5k per night. Was banking in about 30k per day. It was like blood money for someone who has never made that much money from anything for like the first 6 months.

Mistake 1
About late last year, Nigeria happened and Buhari proved himself to why he was Buhari, inflation and purchasing power, i noticed people who still wanted to bring babes didnt have enough money left like that cos of food inflation etc. Most were now going for short time service which was 1500 naira for an hour. And as a man once you are done with what you want to do, your eye go clear till next time konjiii hooks you and you are back again.

So in essence i was cashing in more 1500 naira bookings instead of the 5,000 naira bookings resulting in less income per night

Mistake 2
When i was making crazy money per day, i too was forming big boy dashing people around money and acting like i had money, what people came to the hotel to do, me too i carried people to other expensive hotels to do.

Also i was repairing almost everything in the hotel customers will spoil, anything be painting the same wall over and over again

Meanwhile price of emulsion went from 4k to 12k minimum, i still would be doing renovations non stop

I even wanted to buy diesel generator at one point in time and give customers AC, Rooms that i know they wont still sleep in for less than 5k a night. Thank God i couldnt afford the diesel generator

Mistake 3- Ramadan period
Chai this period for like 2 months was hard ooo, its like everyone was holy and no one wanted to spoil thier fast, but once Ramadan ended, things went back to normal.

Conclusion
Save your money and put your money where your mouth is.

Now im still back but more clever now, I have stopped pointless renovations. And i have started saving my money,

Even now i have started lying to my staff that there is no money for renovations, lol the same people that remit 30k per day room bookings for me every day haha

Also im trying to do a palmwine lounge thing. I have noticed one thing its when people are drunk or tipsy thats when they start wanting to do the obvious.

Lead city university students too that always came to camp at the hotel and be doing party around the night looool

Chai

Voice22:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcFDtVk5sxQ

Why our girlfriends don’t cheat — Nigerian military officer

https://www.instagram.com/p/CqaMAVbr96I/?igshid=ZWU2MTYxZTY=

Insultme:
Are you the guy?😂🤣.
Even if he is not on this thread at the moment, someone is going to narrate the story to him one way or the other, that is the reason I tweaked some things in the story, although I gave out lots of information already but still, it can be anyone.

Insultme:
Thanks.
The reasons am not saying anything now is that the guy is here and if I should agree or disagree with any advice here is that, she might be informed before I can execute my plans.

Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏

I took my time to read through. I observed that you are a good person. Issues in marriage is something that you can not avoid, it will come in different ways but the problem would be if you can not manage the the very well. The ability to manage issues well in marriage makes you a man. It takes a man with wisdom to handle this issue well.

IyaTola:
I cannot take up that job, N150,000 monthly salary is too small!

Last year, a fresh graduate rejected the job I got him

I asked him to take the job for 6 months so that he can gather experience for his next job, but he didn't listen

He is still at home trusting God

I have had to advise a lot of graduates and professionals regarding whether to take up a role where the salary is small.

Some think the salary is belittling and not up to their worth.

I have also seen a lot of people on social media advising graduates not to settle for less which I disagree.

Your decision depends on whether you have a job at hand or not.

I believe it's better to accept a job with low salary than sitting at home to do nothing.

Once the salary can cater for your feeding and transport, you are fine.

No experience is a waste and no matter how bad a job is, you will learn something even if it is tolerance and perseverance.

You have an experience to point to.

You can't ask for a lion share (Salary) with a fish brain (no experience)

At the earliest days of my career,

I was living in Mowe -Ibafo axis, Arepo to be precise, working at Yaba and the salary was small,

I do wake up as early as 4:30am to enjoy cheap transport to Ojota

And BRT to Yaba were cheaper compared to 14 seater Bus.

Then, I do take standing in the BRT bus because it is cheaper than taking a seat

Infact standing was my hobby ��

I will get to the office 6am and wait till 8am when other staff will resume.

The pay was small, I worked as late as 8pm but the experience was BIG and worth it.

Later, I joined another company with double salary.

The rest is history today,

If you are in doubt of taking a job because of the pay, accept the offer,

Give your best, learn as much as you can, don't get carried away and keep your eye on your goal.

Remember, if you are too big to do small things, you will be too small to do big things

Do you agree?

jibrilELsudan:
WHEN YOU GO LIVE ABROAD AWAY FROM NIGERIANS AND YOU EXPERIENCE THE WOMEN ABROAD....THEN YOU WILL KNOW THAT NIGERIAN MOTHERS ARE EXTREMELY TOXIC AND THEY RAISE THEIR DAUGHTERS TO BE EXTREMELY TOXIC.

UNTIL I RELOCATED ABROAD OVER 20 YEARS AGO......NEVER DID I BELIEVE THAT A WOMAN CAN BE NICE AND CARING AND GENUINELY SWEET AND PLEASANT TO BE WITH

NIGERIAN WOMEN ARE THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN TO MANKIND

Rita005:
Hi folks! I feel like sharing my predicament with you and hope to get a solution. Please bear with me cuz it's a long read. I'm a 26 years old banker (not contract staff) in one of the south south states.

Recently, I met a beautiful soul and I think I'm getting so fond of him now. We connected after the close of service in church and exchanged contacts. He was kind enough to drop me off my house. This guy is doing very well for himself (lives in a nice estate and owns a good ride).

A short while after our first meeting, we spoke on phone and I didn't know when I asked him why he isn't married. He told me it's a long story and would like to talk about it when we meet one-to-one. Fast forward, we met and he told me all there is about him. He's 34, got married about 2 years ago, but now separated from his wife. The reason he gave for the separation was lack of trust from his wife. According to him, his wife is so insecured to a fault. According to him, the first week he got married was when he started regretting his actions. After their marriage, his wife travelled down home to bring her remaining baggage. Before she returned, he made sure he cleaned the house thoroughly. However, when his wife came back, she headed straight to the fridge (she had made soup and stew before traveling) and the next thing was cry! According to him, he said he was confused at first. it was when he asked her what the problem was that she said he brought a woman to their matrimonial home. He said he cried so much and regretted marrying a woman with a possessed mind.

According to him, all the signs were there before marriage and he ended the relationship more than 5 times but she kept begging. What she was holding on to was that there's no assurance that the guy will marry him, hence, her fears. According to him, the woman has accused him of sleeping with his former neighbors and she insisted that they move out of that area. for peace to reign, he agreed and they got another accommodation.

Again, she started accusing him of having something with his new neighbors (even the married ones). To be honest, this guy is admirable and very reserved and I'm not sure if he's doing all the things his wife accused him of. He got angry when his wife decided to report him to the church authority. According to him, this woman has no single proof of him cheating but her reprobate mind is affecting her badly. She even went ahead to share demeaning messages about him (her husband) on her whatsapp status. This guy said he has pleaded with her to stop but it's getting worse. Now, they were married for about two years without a child. He said he could manage to live with the woman for more years without a child but can't do that when his peace is been threatened. He said his wife nags a lot and it was driving him crazy. According to him, his mum was never in support of the marriage but dad was interested in it. As it stands now, he has left his wife and moved to another state where we both met.

I have been friends with him for about 3 months now and I must say that this guy is a sweet human being. He asked me out but I told him we should just be friends, owning that he's still legally married. However, my feelings for him is growing everyday and this guy knows how to get one emotionally attached to him. Even though I can perceive that he wants sex with me, he never begs or act too anxious over it. He's so calm and mature and this is making me to admire him the more.

Note: He said he has talked about divorce with his wife but she's refusing it. This is where my concerns come in.
Now, I'm scared of going into a relationship with him knowing that he's not divorced yet.

To be honest, I can hardly concentrate these days because the thought of this guy has occupied my mind. Can I go ahead with him or the implications would be overwhelming? To be honest, I've not met a guy has coolheaded and admirable as this guy but I'm scared.
please I need advice on how to handle this situation.

Thanks

EmperorAce:
Hello everyone, please I need your opinion on an issue bothering me. I have a female friend who toke me as her bestie, we are good friends and she is in my department in school. She knows my girlfriend very well and she respects her a lot. The issue is that she has refused to date anyone since she resumed school, so I asked her to have a boyfriend which she did and then on Valentine’s Day which happens to be her birthday, the guy didn’t call or text to wish her happy birthday or valentine. She got heartbroken, she came to my place and cried a lot, I pet her and try to encourage her. She felt better when I faced a stand fan on her. She removed her pant and raised her gown facing the fan while laughing and moaning that it feels good, and she requested for alcoholic gin which I gave her after diluting it with sprite soft drink. I wanted her to drink a little and sleep so she’ll stop crying. She drank a little glass and then she started feeling better but a bit happy. She started dragging me close which I felt was normal because she does that even while sober, but then she pinned me down on bed and started saying things like why I didn’t call her on her birthday, she called me her boyfriend’s name , I thought she was drunk and I try to put her to sleep. She was not even weak or drowsy. Her words were accurate and not like who is drunk. She suddenly grabbed my d*ck and begged me to have sex with her. I declined, but she begged me almost in tears, then she said that she ought not to be begging me, that we ought to be doing it. We end up having a breathtaking sex which lasted for an hour. She washed up and I bathed. She went to bed and woke up an hour later, we talked while she went home. We chatted later and I asked her to take Postinor but she said “why” ? She has not had sex for 2 months and she doesn’t need to cus she never had sex! I was shocked, I told her we did but she laughed it off that I am joking. A week later, she came to me that she was pregnant and doesn’t know who. She said it’s not her boyfriend cus they had sex for the first time a day before. She is crying always in confusion that she can’t think of anyone and she doesn’t know what to do.

Is it really possible she doesn’t know? I’m really shocked.

khallebb:
PART 3
It was Faith who was Knocking but I didn't Know initially, until I went to open the door. She was the last person on my mind that I thought would be Knocking on my door at that time. I opened the door for her and still with sleepy eyes and a cracked voice, I asked her in an unconscious manner what she came for and she replied that she wanted both of us to go for night reading together. She said that she heard from some of her seniors that I was really smart and so she wanted me to help her in some of her courses. I relunctantly agreed to accept following her for night reading, cause the truth is I wanted to cook and tidy up my house against the following day but can you resist a beautiful girl? A capital NO. I offered her a seat, got my towel and rushed into the bathroom to have a shower so that we could go together. I had my bath and stepped out of the bathroom. All this while, I was thinking of how I would change into my clothes in her presence but I didn't bother anymore cause I just realized that I could still dress inside the bathroom and that was exactly what I did. I finished wearing my clothes and just when I was ready to go, Faith said that she wanted to rest cause she was feeling dizzy. In my mind, I said what is this na? Anyway I said okay, I offered her my bed and she laid down while I laid on the tiled floor of my room listening to music, while I was listening to a song on a low volume, I heard Faith say "So somebody is sleeping and you cannot even touch the person to sleep" I quickly removed my earpiece and raised my head up but behold I saw innocent faith still in the same position with her two eyes closed. I thought to myself that maybe I was hallucinating or my mind was just playing games with me. After like thirty minutes when I had dozed off and was now in my subconscious, I felt a weight on my waist. When I opened my eyes, it was Faith and with the most romantic voice ever I've heard from the opposite s*x, she asked me to f*ck her. While I was still trying to digest what I should do about that request, she asked me if I had a condom. What do you think I did guys?
If it was you what would you do. This question is for guys only!
Also, please comment below if you are enjoying the story
Part 4 coming soon

Jessica57:
Merry Christmas famz....

XhosaNostra:
Nope. I just don't wanna live my life constantly looking over the shoulder. I wanna be free in whatever I'm doing. If I were to cheat, the person would end up knowing because I wouldn't hide it. I'm a free spirited person. I don't hide from anyone. I'm not the best candidate for numerous relationships because of that. I just wouldn't cope. Plus I have tunnel vision in general. If I like you, I like only you, I don't see the rest. That too has its disadvantages though, I will scrutinize you like an organism under microscope.. You can't hide when my focus is on you

TheUpsetGirl:
I know I'm gonna get chopped off but sometimes we've to post things not because of other people's opinions.

1. ALWAYS BROKE SHAMING GUYS;

Broke ladies often broke shame guys because of their nature. believe me no rich lady or a lady from a wealthy home broke shame guys.

2. ALWAYS ACTIVE ON FACEBOOK;

This is one of the lucrative sign exhibited by broke ladies. A rich girl or a lady from a wealthy home would never have time to be active on Facebook 24/7 hours but broke ladies are always active on Facebook. Quote me wrong


3. MAGARIZING GUYS;

Truly most ladies that magarize guys or whatever it is called are 100% broke. no rich lady or a lady from a very wealthy family have time to magarize a guy, they'll simply tell him they're not interested or they have a bf already and he can get lost!,they won't even like to keep him as a friend but a broke lady will simply magarize him to give him hopes that she's eventually fall in love with him one day and because of their greedy nature they're not satisfied with what their boyfriends are giving them so they will keep the guy so that they can be collecting cash and other goodies from him.

4. SUPERIORITY COMPLEX;

Most broke ladies have a superiority complex, I mean rich ladies don't have time for superiority trash, they interact very well with everybody but poor ladies if they manage to hook a rich dude they'll start avoiding all their poor girlfriends. In fact they'll start behaving very funny at home.

5. INSULTING PEOPLE'S PARENTS;

This behavior is mostly exhibited online. some ladies, when a guy creates a thread/ article that is not in their interest or a thread meant for advicing only the female gender, they can't ignore. These ladies usually feel uncomfortable and start saying nasty things about the original poster/writer and the writer in self defense may say things that may hurt them emotionally. These ladies will see the act of insulting the Writer's/original poster's parents as the only means justifiable to hurt the poster (usually a guy) hence they start insulting the poster's parents. whenever you see a lady behaving this way know that the lady is broke and probably from a poor home.

6. STICKING TO A RICH GUY EVEN IN AN UNPLEASANT SITUATION ;

These ladies stick to a rich guy despite any thing that happens in a relationship.if he cheats, they don't care, if he abuses them or rape them they'll still stick with such men just because they're getting something from them and because they're rich. Believe me any lady that does this is from a poor home because a rich lady or a lady from a wealthy home won't allow a guy to cheat on them, abuse them and still choose to stick around him because he is rich.

7. ALWAYS DEMANDING FOR MONEY FROM A GUY IN AN EXORBITANT WAY;

Yeah, any lady that demand money from a guy exorbitantantly is broke because no rich lady or a lady from a from a wealthy home would always request for money from a guy when they can literally get anything they want without the help of the guys.

8. FEMINIST IDEOLOGIES;

I'm not in any way trying to say that ladies that have feminist ideologies are broke but most of them are broke. Many of the feminists we have in Nigeria are not genuine. for you to be a feminist, you must be an independent lady, you can't be dependent on a guy/man and call yourself a feminist. Yeah, my point now is that 70% of Nigerian feminists are broke/poor or dependent ladies. Believe me, if you are a dependent lady and you're calling yourself a feminist "you're deceiving yourself",the real meaning of feminism hasn't gotten to you yet.


Jointly written by Chikita66 and Pocohantas(now Antibrutus)


published by theUpsetGirl

smartnero24:
First time I took weed was just wit ma Nigguz out gisting on a chilly evening. After several minutes I start to feel heavy n cloudy in my head. Everything seems like its happening twice so I stood up n went into my apartment. I lay on me bed but it's rotating at a speed greater than light along with my ceiling and everything else in my room. M thinking WTF!, so I go to d mirror to check me out but then I start dancing (lol) & watching me dance in d mirror. So scared like oh my God m so gone, don't even know when I ended up in d bathroom, but I saw myself in d bath when I woke up, don't know for how long I was there..... He he he. I just got up and went to sleep. My galfrnd shows up unannounced, one thing leads to two things & m giving her the best caress of her life like is dis really me? We start fvcking but the sex is driving both of us so crazy that she's screaming her lights out. On my part twas like all d sex I ever had was a joke, I feel like m never gon cum but I keep hitting hard meanwhile I could feel every wetness n warmth in der. Everything was just extra ordinarily yummy! But den I stop cos m scared I might just tear her vagijay, I pull out n babe goes like y did u stop? Shit! y did u stop? But I'm just dere staring @ her n smiling until I slept off in her arms.

Till date babe still goes like "but y did u stop dat day? " n we just have a laugh.

Weed enhances your experience of everything! Euphoria!!