₦airaland Forum

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

princetom1:
They could be anything after getting married but don't get it twisted, jjc skillz is a big fish in the UK before deciding to come down here.. except gigolo has a new meaning. Meanwhile skillz is right, we fighting one evil, they start famzing gej, they forgot so soon how gej and his co hort (who are all in aoc now) looted this country like say na festival ... All of them, dem be werey, no to recycling idiots and thieves

HigherEd:
First do not even assume that Oyedepo knows who freeze is. Oyedepo doesn't watch news and doesn't read newspapers or use social media. He's as traditional as it gets. National relevant news are relayed to him in the most very old fashioned way through his aides.
Even his children or wife knows not to bring this sort of discussion about an irrelevant freeze to him, you may not like the response you will get.

Mind you Oyedepo created 6,000 more churches in the most rural parts of Africa in past six months. His organization is growing like wild fire with growth exceeding his past nine years of ministry combined. That is the point he is making right there. If so called haters can't stop a person from expanding or growing their sphere of influence then they are noisemakers.


A man still thinking about creating the largest hospital in Africa, largest housing, largest cathedrals and still manage a wage bill shooting exceeding high in the excess of 5 billion naira monthly. Oyedepo knows these new things won't come from wishful thinking at his advancing age, it requires the application of his brain to learn and conceive, his time to execute. His attention (brain) and his time - the two things critics are demanding are those he is wisest not to give.

In 200 years to come, Freeze and his followers would be remembered by a minority of historians. Their relevance in history would be tied to how they successfully rode to fame by dragging highly successful clergy. Oyedepo's legacy would live on! His churches would continue to bless lives. His university system would continue to be at the fore of cutting edge research breakthrough. Hahaha read his vision 2032, he is just beginning his life at 67 when many of his accusers are already done with theirs at 30.

We know this why? Jesus was condemned - his accusers are today irrelevant and unknown. Same with Aimee Semple MacPherson, Kathryn Kuhlmann, Maria Woodworth Ether, Smith Wigglesworth, Oral Roberts, Archbishop Idahosa etc. Critics are spectators! In a football field, 22 people are fulfilling their lives and destinies while 50,000 are crying, rejoicing, wailing and cursing. In the end only the 22 would get paid.

Ife Olaleye

olawalepopoola:
Good day all. Hope we are all fine.
I want to ask what can be done when you get to know and confirm that your mother hates your wife without any tangible reason and all she wants is to either control your home or destroy it by all means.
Valuable answers will be appreciated

Tolani0167:
He knows the family and root he is coming from. Wickedness in Africa is
real

botrix:
Stephanie okereke is not old?,that's strange.NSE is not on the list,check again

Mateen1000:
Na dat Veteran Olosho wey sell her Upcoming Olosho pikin dat time nah

dfrost:


Congratulations to them.

I've noticed recently that there is more focus on the physical side of a union between a man and a woman rather than the spiritual side.

Could this be a reason why marriages don't last? Just thinking OUT loud...

derbykol:
Amen!.Firebaby,more fire in your life.

Wiseandtrue:
I enjoy his testimonial filled messages.

His messages are practical!!!

There's God, take it or leave it!!!

daroz:
Happy 30th Anniversary MFM.
This is the church my wife received her deliverance and Miracle less than a month ago. Indeed Christ Lives. Hallelujah.

IghravweIG:
I respect and honour this man of God.

May God continue to enlarge his ministry.

derbykol:
Congrats to Dr.Daniel and Pst.(Mrs.)Shade Olukoya and the rest members of MFM World wide.Happy anniversary!

Sirpaul:
The biggest lesson I learned this year is to not force anything;
conversations, friendships, relationships, attention, love.
Anything forced is just not worth fighting for, whatever flows,
flows, what crashes, crashes. It is what it is.

Hello........

NYCnextStop:
I'm '06 class

Don't know if you are in Lagos.. would like to have you around in our lagos commandos meeting someday

NYCnextStop:


I went to command abakaliki... which set?

NYCnextStop:
commando

Which command did you attend?

Apus:
To come Naija come visit sef don dey scare me. Which way Naija??

Joshmodest:
Wizkid na small boy !! lol
I don't know why many people dey beef this guy , yesterday I read a post of one dude I just heard about for the first time , in my life saying Wizkid who has topped the billboard chart as well as u.k charts , who has a total of almost 2 billion streams on Spotify , something very few American artists can boast of , who featured on the first ever song to cross a billion streams on Spotify , and the second most streamed song in the whole world , after Ed Sheeran's shape of you ...The wizkid who sold out a hall of 20k capacity in London.... something only few A lists artist in America can do in Nigeria , was called an upcoming Artist, by some teriba dude .....who isn't even regarded as an artist in America....
Tiwa that left tee billz long before her closeness to wizkid ..ode !!!!
if wizkid na upcoming artist and a small boy at the same time , I wish to be a small boy for life !

candlewax:
The husband should send the mother back to Nigeria asap.... I'm not there but I know the mother is the cause otherwise it would have been the couple fighting

I get headache o

Africanness:
So for ur mind na davido hustle reach wizkid. Because he dey do reality show wt his life.

Wizkid just soldout his canada tour. 8weeks before the show, 4 different cities. You wont hear noise. He only put up the advert once on his instagram page in january 2019 o.
When davido goes to do his own next year na, after getting inspiration from wizkid, we no go hear word for instagram. Na so so jumping upandan 'they told me I couldnt do it', 'i get oil for head', 'haters how market?', we go dey hear.