₦airaland Forum

ceeceeuwa:
There are two adults here who had consentual sex. One is married and should have protected the interest of his partner but chose not to... Why blame only the baby mama?

They are both to blame for laying together. Olamide for cheating and Maria for being an accomplice to his cheating, knowing fully well he has a partner

I don’t know whether they used protection or not, they are both responsible for creating that baby however she has the most control over her body, if they did not use condom, what of birth control?

Abortion did not even need to be a part of the equation if preventive measures had been used in the first place.

The only way I can feel bad for her even a little is if all attempts to use birth control failed

I don’t feel sorry for either of them but I can’t stand how she’s playing victim

Wtfork:
Both of them are guilty of cheating with each other
However, the husband has the final say based on the condition on which he slept with her . Either on a billing level or just mutual agreement!
whatever the case is , me as the husband no go gree. Reason is because even if it was on a mutual base, and it wasn't the husband that accidentally lifted her she would have still got fukced

Anything to absolve yourselves. Just shut up

I'm so disappointed in this girl

Sorry but I'm struggling to feel sorry for her

1. You slept with a married man/man in a relationship

2. You are both responsible for creating that child but you unless you used birth control and were just extremely unlucky, you allowed yourself to get to the stage of pregnancy fully aware of the situation

They're both low down in my opinion, him for cheating and her for sleeping with another woman's guy

You've both made your beds now lay in it

mmsen:
If humans lived their natural essence a cheating woman would be stoned to death by her kinsmen.

You should be grateful that we don't do as you claim these women are doing.

Lay down with whomsoever you desire but at least know who fathered your children and be honest with all parties involved.

There are countries where women are severely punished for cheating compared to their male counterparts, and the punishments sometimes include stoning. You must not reside on earth

And the gall of you, a guy advising women on the ‘etiquettes’ of fornication

Cute...but must everything be publicised?

Tattered looking car

Tomjazzy2:
I opened this, hoping to read something different, but was I disappointed.

It's saddening that most ladies aren't even helping in changing the narrative

You thought productive conversation would come out of referring to someone as ‘expired’?

Please focus on changing the narrative that you’re less than smart instead

Don't propose in public and you won't have to worry about this

Magnifiq:
The issues we had when we met stemed from the fact that I realized that he had lied to me. When we first started talking, he said he was single and had been celibate for months. I had also been celibate for years. Anyway, I found out he lied. Then he is a perfectionist so he used to stand behind me and monitor the amount of salt or seasoning I use in cooking. All these things put me off. He also has a way of being insensitive when he talks. He makes comments like " I hope you don't have HIV oh." because I complained of headache. It was winter when I first visited and I was shivering and he continued to taunt me about being a chicken just because I was cold. He also wears this long face constantly when we are together. Like he's unhappy being around me. I didn't want to go back the second time cos I spent the whole time crying while I visited the first time but he continued to communicate with me and I went back again. It is not about physical attraction, but I can't pinpoint exactly what the problem is.
He is also not after any citizenship. He is settled legally in the country where he is. I am the one in Nigeria but I have access to travel whenever I want.

Ok thanks for the clarification

Questionable behaviour traits aside, when it comes down to it, the writings are on the wall that he is showing signs of losing interest, and rather than be honest about what his issue is, he's frustrating you emotionally and stringing you along.

Please fashi this guy asap, this not a healthy relationship

I thought humans aren't supposed to be monogamous, these females are just living in their natural essence

bluefilm:
Don't bother yourself.

Nairaland is still anonymous to some extent.

So no one can trace the video you sent the Tolu to this place, okay.

That's reassuring

ubunja:
this is what we call misinformation.

When a woman uses words like "respectfully" just know its BS. Because its the same women getting wet in the panties when thugs and bad boys call them anyhow and treat them anyhow.

Respecting a woman will get you a friend. Not a Girlfriend. Women are attracted to power and power is never synonymous with respect. But with command. Power is respected. Power itself respects no one.

Don't conflate the term respect with doormat behavior

Respecting a woman and maintaining 'power' are not mutually exclusive

Something happened during your first meet up that caused the spark to fizzle out, I don't know what exactly but according to you things went downhill from there.

Since it was the first time you met up, do you think it's a physical attraction issue? Or your energies just didn't mesh? Interactions in real life can have a completely different dynamic to online communications

Now as for why he appears to have lost interest but STILL wants to continue with the relationship, please let us know which countries you are based in. Is there a possibility that he may be trying to gain some sort of citizenship out of you

All of the above aside, for the sake of your sanity and self-respect, I think it's best you end the relationship

All these online 'rule of thumb' tips are just broad guidelines and aren't necessarily reliable for every situation or to be followed so stringently

You know the women you're trying to attract more than ubunja, so just try your own methods as comfortably and respectfully as you can and try not to be a complete slave to all these self help lists.

Heroclitus:
She said."if" not "when"


No be say the thing wan happen, take it easy, there's more to life than hating the other gender

I know it's a hypothetical question

And it's based on one's current state.

So 'if' women were to vanish suddenly, what would guys do with the money they have now

Calm down and don't get your knickers in such a twist

I'm not mad at it

But I think there's some exaggeration

'Reports emerged' online today stating that over 300 of ladies indeed

Where is the proof?

Watch the brokeasses who can’t even feed themselves also put mouth for this thread.

Money that didn’t exist in the first place, don’t deceive yourselves

It’s a crime in Nigeria if the children belong to the woman

Semi crime if the woman is rich

Not as much of a crime if the children belong to the man

Not a crime at all if the man is rich

Social implications aside, it may not be an actual crime but it’s not the most appealing situation. That’s A LOT of kids that aren’t mine to take responsibility for.

Important factors to consider are the age of the children, financial and career status of the adults, if the children are products of a divorce, widower, baby mama/father etc

I wish love could solve all things but in situations like this it’s important to be practical

Whenever a woman is not married by a certain age, men latch onto one narrative: that it’s because she was messing about in her so called younger years.

And what’s with all the fear mongering? On one hand you don’t know what the benefit of having a wife is and consider it a burden, and then in the same breath you are trying to shame them for not being married.

Confused lots

RisenPhoenix:
What else do men want? Best friends, or a sister? Lol.

It's not even a relationship men want. It's hit and run. But they know that's not usually possible, so they apply for a relationship...the next best thing.

All those saying 'most', 8 out of 10, and '90%'; what do you think the remainder want? Joint Bible study?

It's a safeguard against all the 'not all' people that will inevitably start protesting

You both sound 5

Are there mothers who love their children more than their husbands? Probably. The same case can also be said for some husbands

But for the most part, parents just love their partner and children differently

What exactly is the measuring criteria for loving your child more? More attention with the vulnerable 6-month old that lived in her for approximately 9 months vs the grown man?

24kmagic

You messaged, what do you want?

I can feel your shock through the screen, you may as well have encountered an extraterrestrial being

So according to you, she fell in love, sometimes spent the night at his and his parents' place. She also did chores and slept with him, then they dumped her. The end

You are correct about this being short, what a generic story.

You're going to get a bunch of people saying she was dumped because she gave herself freely bla bla bla but this is not detailed enough to thoroughly deduce what the issue is, there's barely any information to draw from.

24kmagic:
Wetin do your other moniker?

What other monicker?

Your title is sensationalized but you've made some valid points.

These opportunistic babes don't put a gun to your heads, in fact many of you specifically seek these so-called slay queens out knowing full well what they expect from you yet come here to cry when you can't maintain them and are unable to keep up with the very same shallow things you enticed them with

Focus on yourself, personal and career development, goals etc and stop chasing after the 'slay queens' you know you can't afford. And is it that no more 'normal' babes dey for Naija again?

Because 8/10 chances that's the case.

They weasel their way into your life under the guise of just friendship

If you let your guard down and they try to come on to you, or worst case scenario they rape you, for example, you will be blamed for being 'naive'

So because of this pattern, it's best to remain cautious

Unfortunately, these types make it hard for the genuine ones who actually just want a friendship

So many contradictions

And if you need your wife to suppress herself in any way just to make you feel like you're the head, you sef know you aren't even qualified so how can you expect her to think so?

CAPSLOCKED:
THESE ARE THE ONES THAT THINK IT'S BAD FOR A FATHER TO BATH AND DRESS HIS BABY DAUGHTER.
TAKE NOTE OF THEM.

What’s the correlation?

Something very incestuous about some of their poses

She technically isn't bothering anyone, she has social anxiety so it's a trait that stems from a psychological issue and not her just trying to be 'difficult'.

Give her a break and stop putting pressure on her all for your own comfortability.