₦airaland Forum

My Question goes to all Single Male and Female in the house.Why do you want to get Married?

It's obvious he has higher libido.just have a heart to heart discussion with him. You can in a subtle way denied him sex sometimes.If you are having it thrice a day try and make it twice and his mind Will adjust with time.

Love,affection ,appreciation and respect.

The challenge he is having is financial otherwise he would have done the needful.

I will advise you sit with him and have a heart to heart discussion.Let him know you are ready to wait and Stand by him but you have given him Six years of your life and would like to know where this relationship is heading.

If he says he wants to Marry you then encourage him in a subtle manner to come and do the Introduction and court Marriage which does not require elaborate gathering at this stage.

It only require your families.With 100,000 you can cover the cost for both Introduction and Court.

Once this is agreed and done it puts your mind at rest while you both plan and Save up for the traditional,white wedding and getting him a job.

It also helps both of you to be focus and committed.

He can also look at other possible options of starting a little business.

It takes a lot to be Married.but if he refuses please look else where cos six years is a lot for a woman to give herself for any guy.

When you say choice how do you mean?

Are u on whatssupp?

Perry 2020,

Please is there any particular reason or experience that made u arrived at Such Conclusion.(I don't want to get Married)

Secondly How right must he be for u to be involve in his life or him in your life?

Please this is Optional (What is your age?Please you can mention age range not precise only if you feel comfortable to do so.

True love does exist and it's the most thing to happen to any couple if they are both committed the relationship.

Secondly why would you wast 5years of your life without knowing where the relationship is heading.

You don't need 5years to know if you are going to marry the person in your life be it male or female.

Also note not everybody is Mentally ready for Marriage.

Perry2020

Which church do u attend?

Perry2020

Let me ask you a question?

If a lady is very pretty,Intelligent,wants to marry and is Still Single?What do you think is the problem?Look at it from your own experience.

Perry2020

You are too pretty to remain Single.

DISCONTINUED THE RELATIONSHIP ASAP.THIS IS NOT ABOUT STANDING BY HIM,ITS ABOUT YOUR DESTINY.

HIS PROBLEM IS SPIRITUAL.LET ME SHARE A STORY.
I KNOW OF A GUY WHO WAS DOING VERY WELL FINANCIALLY.HAD EVERYTHING GOING FOR HIM BUT IN ONE OF HIS TRIPS TO WARRI,HE MET THIS PRETTY GIRL AND BEFORE YOU COULD SAY JACK,THEY WERE DATING,

THE SAD PART OF EVERYTHING WAS THAT WITHIN TWO MONTHS OF MEETING THIS LADY HE LOST EVERYTHING ONE AFTER THE OTHER TO THE EXTEND THAT HE COULD NOT RAISE 1000 NAIRA.
HE BECAME A BEGGER.

HE HAS PRAYED AND FASTED AND NOTHING SEEMS TO CHANGED.ONE DAY IT DAWN ON HIM TO ANALYZE HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS LADY,IT WAS AT THIS POINT HE REALISED THAT EVER SINCE SHE CAME INTO HIS LIFE NOTHING HAS WORKED FOR HIM.

HE CALLED THE LADY AND BROKE UP WITH HER.TWO WEEKS AFTER HIS SEPERATION HE GOT 200,000.

TODAY HE HAS BOUGHT 3 CARS,GOT MARRIED,HAS TWO LOVELY KIDS AND A HAPPY HOME.

PLEASE RUN.THIS IS NOT ABOUT SENTIMENT.ITS ABOUT YOUR DESTINY.

There is nothing wrong for a lady to woo a guy she is interested in.

And I want to correct this Notion guys always have,that when a girl woos them it's because the girl is cheap.Am sorry to say it's only a man who is immature, full of himself and irresponsible who will think in that manner.

It takes courage for a girl to woo a guy and it's take a Matured,descent and responsible man to appreciate and reciprocate the move.

Am surprised you are asking such a silly questions.If titi was your sister will you allow a guy to hurt her this way.Please bayo does not deserve your friendship.Am surprise you even want to attend the so called bayo wedding with him.That also makes you a betrayal to titi.Please for Christ sake go and tell titi.

Becareful of what decision you take.There is nothing absolutely wrong in you dating her but it is wrong if your intentions is to Sleep with her.She confided in you because she is emotionally broken.Don't take advantage of her.You need to first and foremost know what you want from the relationship.It's obvious you are concerned about what people will say if you eventually decides to date her?You also need to come to terms with that also.

In life we must be sensitive at all times.Please sit with her express your fears and concerns.If you want the relationship go for it.but make sure you both are on the same page.Sex is not all there is in a relationship.

Yes distance is a big problem for him.The reason he is confuse is because of he is emotional.So the best way for him to keep his sanity was to deny the relationship ever exist.Such men who are emotional cannot stand or have long distance relationship.Also you made things worst by never being there for him.So you need to ask yourself are you ready and willing to be there for him.Secondly you both need to define where the relationship is heading to.Your decision to relocate to abj should be based on merit and not on your relationship.

Please it is not advisable for you to live under his parents Shelter when he has not paid your pride price.There is nothing wrong in you helping him secure a good job but it shouldnt be because you want him to get married to you.


On a final note you need to ask yourself what you really want out of the relationship and be ready to commit to it.Secondly you both need to sit down and ask yourself where the relationship is heading?This can only happen if you make yourself available.

The reason the guy will feel Insecure is 1.He has had a bad experience in his life that resulted to him loosing the girl or he is close to somebody who has.2.Because the girl in question is materialistic and he is not financially ok to some extent.3.he loves you so much and is afraid of loosing you because he is not ready for Marriage financially.Now he might want to marry you but he does not have the resources.Since you are beautiful his mind is raising against time, praying to be ok before another guy steal you away.


but you can help him conquer his fears.For a man of his type you need more than words to conquer his fears.Your actions must be in line with your words.You can Introduce him to your family and circle of friends as your fiancee only if truly that is what he is to you.You can also tell him to introduce you to his family and friends.Let him have access to your phones without you making a mountain out of it.Be honest to a fault.At every point let him know what you are doing and where you are.Do not directly or indirectly encourage another guy and With time I assure this fear will turn to trust in you.

You need to do more than sitting down to talk with him.

It's unfortunate we have people like you who don't see anything wrong in injustice.DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY ALOT OF THEM ARE GOING TTHROUGH HORRIBLE WORKING CONDITIONS INTHE NAME OF EMPLOYMENT.CHANGE COMES WITH A PRICE.YOU CANNOT TRAMPLED UPON ONES DIGNITY, SELF ESTEEMED ALL IN THE NAME OF EMPLOYING THEM.

WHAT MULTIPLYING EFFECTS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?LET ME TELL YOU , ACCESS BANK STANDS TO LOOSE A LOT IF WE ALL WITHDRAW OUR FUNDS FROM THE BANK.OUR FUNDS MAKES THEM WHO THEY ARE AND WITHOUT OUR FUNDS THEY ARE NOTHING.

PEOPLE LET'S SPREAD THE WORD.WE CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCE.IT DOES NOT COST YOU ANYTHING TO CLOSE YOUR ACCOUNT WITH ACCESS BANK.

Nobody has called for JIhad.What is senseless about Standing for your rights.Access bank Management are living lavishly at the expense of their staff welfare and depositors funds.DO YOU KNOW THE COST OF HOUSE RENT, TRANSPORTATION, SCHOOL FEES ETC.How long will Nigerian s walk away in the name of IF YOU CAN'T STAND IT RESIGN.IT'S HIGH TIME WE EXPRESS OUR PAIN AND THEIR IS NO BETTER WAY TO EXPRESS OUR PAIN THAN TO START WITHDRAWING OUR FUNDS FROM ACCESS BANK.THERE ARE OTHER BANKS IN NIGERIA AND THIS WILL SEND A STRONG MESSAGE TO THE BANKS.

basisop please stop being a coward.
Stop supporting injustice.
do you know the meaning of JIHAD.WHAT HAS WITHDRAWING OUR FUNDS GOT TO DO WITH JIHAD.MAYBE YOU ARE A DIRECTOR IN ACCESS BANK.Please Nigeria ns are no slaves.

It's disgusting seeing people defending Access bank.Why would a contract staff work under such horrible conditions.When will Nigerian s rise up and say no to this Injustice.When will our leaders take responsibility for their actions.
First and foremost what is Access bank Intentions towards their Staff.We should be questioning their Motives.
If Access bank entered into a contract with a firm to get the Workers.Access bank should also use the same zeal with which they are using to be the best bank and make sure all their staff is well taken careoff.They choose to outsource because of their wicked motives.I think it's high time we Nigerian s also punished this injustice.Let's all begin to close our accounts with ACCESS BANK.Tell every one you know or related with to close their accounts with ACCESS BANK.Discourage everyone related to you from opening accounts with Access Bank.It's high time we let these so called ogas in the banks know we pay their salaries.It's our monies they are using to live a lavish live style.We have talking and our leaders are not listening.It's time for us nigerians to act and stop complaining.FROM OCTOBER 01/10/2013 let's start withdrawing our funds and closing our accounts in ACCESS BANK.

IF THEY CHOOSE TO SACK THE STAFF OR VICTIMISED HIM OR HER WE WILL CONTINUE.
WE WILL ONLY STOP ONLY WHEN THE WORKING CONDITIONS OF THEIR STAFF HAS IMPROVED.

PLEASE NOTE YOU DON'T NEED TO BE VIOLET.LET'S ALSO MONITOR THE PROGRESS AND REPORT BACK TO THE HOUSE.

PEOPLE LET'S MAKE THIS HAPPENED.

There is nothing wrong with you marrying this guy..What matters most is that you are both happy.Instead of listening to people why not encourage him to have a degree.No age is too old for a degree.So you can both plan and work things out.Before you know he will be a graduate.Or do you want to marry a guy with all the degree s and you are not happy.

There are basic things that keeps a home.

1.God should be the foundation.The fear of God will keep a genuine Christian in his marriage
2.Honesty....Brings trust which in turn preserve the marriage
3.commitment...........Builds the marriage
4.communication.................Brings you both closer and resolves conflicts quickly
5.love.Strengthen the union
6. good character.............is the fragrance that spices up the union
7.Good Sex......connects you intimately, emotionally.
8.Good meals............Adds flavors to the union
9.Good dress sense.....Sparkle the home.

I will advise you let go your girlfriend and moved back home.The signs are obvious
1.You don't share same value and vision about life.
2.You don't have any intention of staying in Canada and build a home and future with your girlfriend.
3.She also does not have any intention of building a home and future with u in Nigeria.
4.You have your mother and other responsibility to contend with back home in Nigeria.

It's better you quit the relationship now in a more honourable way than post the day of divorce for tomorrow

Let her go.

I will advise you stay in your mother house.You can reach out to family members to intervene on your behalf and really find out what the real issue is.Your mother action might be a transferred aggressions from her relationship with your Dad.

Please come home with your man.What is important is that you are happy and your family too.We have so many foreigners married to Nigerian s living in Nigeria.

Young lady there is no point apportioning blames right now.The mistake has been done.You are both responsible for this mistake.This is an issue that both of you would have discussed during your courtship.Presently with what is happening in the north,the Islamic religion is not being portrayed in a good light.A man who does not understand the Islamic religion before all this crises would never want his children to end up like the fanatics are displaying.Fighting or being rebellious would only confirm his fears.

Secondly you need to know what is important right now in your life and marriage.Marriage comes with sacrifice.You have not complain he is abusive, violent, unfaithful, poor etc.

If beign a Christian will bring harmony,peace, joy, fruifulness and make you, your husband and kids etc enjoy your marriage then I don't think it's too much a sacrifice for your kids.

It's not also advisable that both parents should practice different religion.Is either you are both Christians or Muslims.

Religion has also destroyed so many marriages.The African culture has place the responsibility of being the head of the home to the man.In the context of him providing for his family, protecting his family, being there for his family at all times.

This is our culture and this is who we are.Now I know those who will want to go against this by telling us what is obtainble in the western world.But am sure the African woman is not ready to contribute or shoulder 50 percent of the man responsibility in the home.It is at this point they remind you that the man is the Head of the home so he should shoulder his responsibility.


PLEASE NOTE IN THE CONTEXT OF THE MAN BEING THE HEAD DOESN'T MAKE HIM A DICTATOR, ABUSIVE, VIOLENT, DISRESPECTFUL, DOES NOT LISTEN OR TAKE ADVICE FROM HIS WIFE.DOES NOT GIVE HIM THE LIBERTY TO BECOME A CHEAT.


PLEASE NOTE THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION.THE CHOICE TO BE HAPPY AND NOT TO BE HAPPY RESTS WITH YOUR DECISION.

You married him because you love him

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Let her go.She has been honest enough to tell you the truth.

It's understand able to know that you care about their feelings but this is a life decision.It is their obligation to see you through school.It is wrong for parents to want to blackmail their children emotionally because they sacrificed to train them.If you are a Christian it is wrong to disobey God just to please your parents.The bible is against polygamy
.Please don't marry the man.

Hi,

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Best Regards

YOUR DESIRES ARE NOT OUT OF PLACE.LET ME ASK A QUESTION?IF YOU MEET A DESCENT AND RESPONSIBLE MAN WHO IS READY TO SETTLE DOWN.WOULD YOU RELOCATE BACK TO NIGERIA TO BUILD YOUR HOME WITH HIM.

THERE ARE DESCENT AND RESPONSIBLE NIGERIAN MEN BACK HOME.I UNDERSTAND YOUR PLIGHT.

HI,I THINK THE LADY ASK A SIMPLE AND HARMLESS QUESTION.EVERYBODY IS ENTITLE TO AN OPINION.SO LETS MAKE THE FORUM EDUCATIVE INSTEAD OF INSULTING ONE ANOTHER.WE ALL HAVE A CHOICE EITHER TO RESPOND TO HER MAIL POSITIVELY OR WALK AWAY.PLS NOTE HER QUESTION IS A VERY SENSITIVE QUESTION.