₦airaland Forum

Saturday dinner:

Rice, sautéed spinach, goat curry.

Dinner on Friday:

Beans and dodo.

Ttipsy:
so are u suggested that his senior brother acted wisely?? nobody said he should not get married, he can do that while supporting the younger ones. what i read from the op was a total neglect and misplaced priority by his senior brother

When did the brother become the parents? If he chooses to help, God; otherwise, no worries. It was his money, his life, his choice.

Dinner from Sunday:

Oatmeal fufu with peanut soup.

Dinner from Tuesday:

Boiled Irish potato with fried eggs.

Dinner from yesterday:

Plantain amala with ogbono soup.

Dinner:

Today in celebration of juneteenth, I decided to go soul food dinner.

Oven baked Mac and cheese, crispy chicken, cucumber and onions salad.

Marriage has its challenges however, the joy it gives outweighs the challenges.

What I have learned:

You don't complain about everything and when you have to, find the appropriate time when both parties can actually discuss what the concerns are without feeling attacked about it.

Discuss whatever you think is going to be important to you while courting. This helps find a lasting solution/conclusion to issues that may arise since there is already a position before now.

Be sincere about your thoughts and emotions.

Learn to be very open about your finances (For us, we do joint up to 95% of earnings and 5% is available to do whatever each person wants. It doesn't mean you can't request funds for personal use from the 95%. For example, if I want to give to someone I think is in need and I feel I want to help out even if my wife doesn't know the person. I just have to explain why I want to and would want us to do it from the 95%.) and understand you come from different backgrounds (A good example is my wife will buy anything she thinks the children needs without recourse to the cost while sometimes, I feel it isn't so necessary. I have learned to look elsewhere since she will always seek permission before buying them).

Be tolerant of one another.

On a funny note, find friends online you can rant to if you need rant about anything. Also, sex is not guaranteed but can always be earned by both parties. Just do the right things (help with everything that concerns the house) and you will be surprised how you get it whenever you want it.

This is the major problem. Everyone seeking some personal gains and then complain the government is corrupt when they don't get the returns they expected. The government will remain corrupt if we continue like this.

Our university systems that should be bothered on researching a lasting solution to many of the plagues affecting our nation is more bothered about dress code of adults. What a shame.

Magnetic010:
And you dy alive....Is live not causing you harm and pains?

No, life is not causing me harm or pain. There can be challenges, that is a part of life and our is different from self inflicted pains.

Learn to stand for yourself and put yourself first. You may have to call for a meeting and let everyone know you would like to help however, you yourself isn't doing well. As such, when they request and you tell them you don't have, it is because you don't have and you do not appreciate being pressured. If they choose not to understand, you have done your best. No need putting yourself under pressure as you are not Jesus of Nazareth and neither are you El-Shaddai!

OLU808MONEY:
What path did you guys take to relocate to the USA? (Aside from student visa/marriage). I’m nigerian with a UK citizenship looking to relocate to the U.S, but genuinely don’t know where to start

Research the E-1 and E-2 visas. I think they are more for entrepreneurs.

This is what happens when you start bending laws unnecessary. Unfortunately, the president started this so no big deal if his followers follow same pattern. No need for us to cry over this.

tomietush:
i stand with u on dis.
Unfortunately i had an accident which gave me a serious ankle injury.

Pele. Hope you are much better now or do you still feel the pains?

pocohantas:
Oh, this is sweet. I am glad you appreciate seasons of your life and people that were part of it.

The sharing of notes on raising kids is such a stellar idea. I started jotting down some in my hard journal years ago. I also bookmark any video I run into. Do you have your notes somewhere that I can read too? I will really appreciate it.

On appreciation of seasons and people involved, I do that a lot. I feel our stories are not complete without them. No, I don't keep notes. Maybe it is time to start doing that.

CoronaVirusPro:
The cause of the race is for living. Compared to Nigeria where you can achieve yo certain extent and will maintain status quo irrespective of what happens, it’s the opposite in western world. Taxes will continue to hit you, and when you default, those things you own you will start losing. It a system that entails you to keep earning or you will lose it all. Have you heard of foreclosures and liens?

Look at Nigeria where people own homes and still able to afford to train their kids to university level WITHOUT debts, In the western world, for you to reciprocate same means you probably be working till your late 60’s if you happen not to be decimated by age. Now you ask yourself, after getting a student loan, having a mortgage debt and business debt you have serviced all your life, you won’t want a loved one to pass through it. It’s not worth it.

The system is designed to make you feel you are moving. But over time, reality will dawn on you. They keep telling you debt is good if you make good use of it, but have you ever asked yourself how long you will be able to mentally carry and service that debt. You even start thinking about an eventuality, what happens, the bank takes it back.

It’s a long story, I wish I could explain, but I am certain that overtime, after you must have maintained that life for over a decade, reality will start kicking in.

I do not agree with you. How much is property taxes? One thing I would say is that at the beginning when the household income isn't so much, it can be tough. By the time you increase your household income and you focus on where you live, you will be very fine. One of the major issues is many live abroad and want to live in Nigeria at the same time. They want to get a mortgage here and are thinking of how to build homes in Nigeria they currently do not live in because they want to prove a point to people who do not even know they are in existence.

My advice will be, "carve your niche and live within your means."

Sagefromtheeast:
Oga you miss!

Pikin wey no get wound for leg, wetin he gain?

I gain my peace of mind. I avoid those cleaning of wounds wey I fit avoid. It wasn't meant for me. I would rather play board/paper games.

pocohantas:
When you see happily married man, you go know. Not the ones monitoring their menopausal EXs.😂😂😂

You know those truth sometimes set you free. It helps appreciate the other person and avoids bitterness. It is better than forcing someone to accept you when they feel the best you both should be are friends. She and one other male friends after my parents were my main pillar of support at some point in my career when I worked in a very toxic environment. Then I will buy two N500 starcomms recharge card Monday to Saturday to speak to both of them. Any day I do not call, I get their calls first thing the following morning. Every time I remember both of them, I tell myself I owe them.

Now living in two different Western countries, we sometimes will exchange notes on raising kids to see how we can improve the quality of life for the kids and not necessarily bow to everything around us.

Maybe there was more she did not disclose. She told me I wasn't patient enough and at some point, she said my stature. Interestingly, we are still friends and I think I really do appreciate the friendship more. We both are married now and doing well with our lives.

Another told me she waited but I did not show my interest on time and now she is dating someone else and feels it will be unfair to break that relationship for me. I wished her well and moved on.

It depends on what the issue is. It could be any of those listed on there.

To visit, isn't this future impossible tense? He need not make announcement, he should have been there since a long time ago. Anyways, what is our politicians business with governance when most of us are political sycophants'?

Unfortunately, I wasn't the soccer fan for many reasons. I hate how my brothers got toe injuries because they were always playing on the streets. I never liked the idea of how they help them clean it at home. I hate anything that will cause me harm/pains.

CoronaVirusPro:
Experience is the teacher.

How far can you run is the life in western countries. You will know you are tired and worn-out at the right time.

It all depends. What is the cause of the race if I may ask? If one is contended with life and one earnings, I don't see the overwhelming factor(s).

CoronaVirusPro:
It will take you an average of 10 years before you start knowing the western world is a scam. It’s a new system of slavery without chains.


People who have left for over 10 years are planning to return home, the newbies are the ones hoping to stay.

One thing is guaranteed, you will hit that point when it will dawn on you that the race is not worth it.

When you run like a clock for 10 years, your brains will start resetting.

Is this the lie they told you or your own coping mechanism?

Bluffly:
Agreed. But who will now make Nigeria work? We are supposed to fight to make it work. Whose responsibility is to make Nigeria work, if not the citizens who know what is right? Those who left Nigeria also contributed to the shades of wrong here. Angels did not aid the country we are going to but the people did and not by running away from their fight, but by staying true to a course of their identity.

You are clowning, right? The propotion of Nigerians abroad isn't up to two percent of the population. Let the 98% back home fix the country.

Some people are just very sick. Why exploit the weak and vulnerable?

Saturday's dinner:

Wheat amala, ewedu, gbegiri, with beef and roasted turkey.

Friday's dinner:

Porridge beans and dodo with beef and roasted turkey.

tobore4u:
Happy father's Day sir and to all the men of the great thread.

More inspiration and culinary skill.

Thank you, Sir! Happy Father's Day to you and all the men on this thread.

Shouldn't this be a wake up call for the federal government to stop the unnecessary religious activities and holidays we are known for? Religion has done us so much bad than good as we have decided to take it overboard.

Nnamdipapa:
We did and it was not working. In fact, she could not push out all the kids normally during child birth and it was one a medical trip in Europe a German doctor told us she was badly mutilated and that was the reason she could never have a normal child birth. It was C section all through

This could be the reason for her behavior. Perhaps, she is scared of you leaving him and using this as her coping mechanism. You may have to find ways to assure her you are in it together and help her get her groove back. You know, sometimes, the feeling of inadequacy kills morale greatly.