₦airaland Forum

Dinner:

Oatmeal fufu with okra.

Mood11:
Please do. And enjoy some fresh pineapple juice.
Nothing beats freshly juiced fruits

Finally juices pineapple, apples, and water melon.

Dinner:

Potato and plantain porridge.

Mood11:
Juicing

Got a juicer but I have been too lazy to juice. Will do tonight so that my pineapple doesn't get spoilt.

mamateniola1:
thank you for the detailed response.
1. relationship of my masters programme: . masters programme is Bus admin and management. undergraduate course is accounting Edu, current job, accountant/managing a registry of an organisation
2. i am also worried of the filling. But i was not aware, he mentioned in passing about 5years ago when he kept encouraging me to further my education, he said, if you had a chance to come over, make sure i do my masters but i did not see that as filling and i remember he mentioned that he got a lawyer to sort it.
3. he didnt mention on his deathbed like that; he mentioned like a year before his death when he was even not sick ..
4. i have siblings, no they are not in the same shoes.
5. i have always mentioned my uncle in the US. and my brother in my previous application. and answer that my dad is in US whenever he was but NO, whenever he was in Nigeria.
6. my mom is alive in Nigeria. My uncle wanted to transfer the money to her initially but when we thought of it that i would need some of them in Dollars, transfering to Nigeria and now changing it back to dollar, we decided he should hold it.

God bless you!

I would suggest you put family funds as the source of your funds and you can explain that to the visa officer as your inheritance should the conversation go that far. It is a dicey situation however, you can hope you are given enough audience to explain your situation. Be upfront and sincere when answering questions directed at you perhaps, it will create an opportunity to discuss every grey areas.

Q: For example, do you have any relative in the US?
A: Yes, I do have an uncle, my brother, and my late dad died in the US. Last year, he mentioned trying to sponsor me for a US permanent residence to enable me further my studies however, he didn't provide much details as such, I am not sure if he did or did not. At this time, I will like to pursue my graduate degree in the US because it will give me an edge upon return and also, it will be funded by the inheritance my father left for me as captured in ...

If that doesn't work after the next trial, you could try some other Western countries since funds isn't an issue in your case.

Dinner:

Rice, beans, and dodo.

NamelessJ:
So op is back from work, he has to ho to the market, cook food, feed the kids, wash plates and still provide for the family.

How some of una take reason is a big surprise to me.

If that is what he asked for who are we to change it? Did we marry the lady for him? You don't decide basic things inside of marriage as they should have been discussed during courtship.
At this stage, he just needs keep discussing with her and hope she changes.

CockPit:
I compared her with her mom. I once said "cant you see the way your mom took care of you guys" There was always food at home and the kids lacked no motherly affections.

Not my mother, her own mother. Are you saying as a young man, I am not supposed to have basic expectations from my wife? Mind her, her expectations is that I take care of the home which I am doing? It means I was probably deceived into the marriage.

You can have expectations however, the essence of courtship was to discuss that and ensure your expectations and thoughts align. If you did not discuss this, you were not deceived as you never took your time to find out if your thoughts about a home are similar.
Whether your mom or her mom, there's no need to compare her. You can only keep suggesting and if she's not changing, make her work to contribute to the home front.

mamateniola1:
Good afternoon,
happy new year. please, i have a question on behalf of my cousin. she tried logging into her nairaland but she couldn't. here is the post we composed ..... please help us

Pls, I need a review of my situation and guidance.
1. I am single, 40
2. I am applying for a masters degree.
3. I have been denied US tourist Visa in 2016, 2018, and 2023.
4. My Dad filled for me sometimes ago but petition wasn't approved. He told me this during a conversation before he passed in April 2024. But I have been saying No in all my applications. {this is the truth pls. i dont know why it was never mentioned but i remember that he said he was going to get a lawyer}
5. I currently work and earn 500k after deductions.
6. all tuition fee and living expenses is about xxxxxxk $. this will be paid from my Dad's benefit. his younger brother in the US will receive the money on my behalf but we see no reason why it should be converted and sent to Nigeria since my school fees will be paid in dollar. but we are worried about presenting this fund to the embassy. uncle called the school to explain. they said since the money is not in my name, it cant be personal fund. But i have a certain share that is enough for my programme and uncle is ready to let go his share, if any

pls, what do you advise?

PLS, i need advise ..

Your age shouldn't be a concern if you have the right story to back up why you want to pursue graduate studies. Same with your marital status as not everyone is inclined towards marriage.
How related is your masters to your undergraduate course of study or what you do at the moment? Why do you want to pursue a masters at this time? Once you are convinced on why, align that with your story. It helps ensure you are consistent no matter what.
For 3 and 4, I think this is where your challenge lie. How come you are not aware your dad tried filing for you? Why was he mentioning the same at his dead bed? Do you have siblings, are they in the same situation? Another area to address is your uncle who is receiving your dad's benefit suggest you have great ties in the US you never mentioned. This are things you need to think of thoroughly before making your decision if it is worth pursuing. The challenge is most times, you are not given ample opportunity to explain your case nonetheless, it is better to try and fail than not trying at all.
6 is similar to 3 and 4. If the money is not in your name, it isn't personal funds. Where is your mom? Can the money be transferred to her?

CockPit:
I still work and pay the bills 100% while she may be on the phone for hours. You think this is an ideal situation or my comparism lacks merit?

Your comparison lacks merit because your wife is different from your mom. The issue is you did not observe/discuss in courtship this aspect you think is vital. You can complain and tell her you want her to pay more attention to the children and if she is not, you may have to step in and do the best you can. You may also need to let her work and contribute to the upbringing instead of paying the bills 100% and she is not taking care of the home front as much as you would want her to.

CockPit:
She lived with the the mom with no kids. The mom prepares everything, how was I to know. mom lived with us for 6 years after marriage and did all the chores so I did not find out on time. It was after she left I started to notice. We never lived together prior to marriage so tell me how to know before hand?

Now that you know, pick up the slacks. The kids are yours and not for one single person. So if you think she is not doing enough with respect to care for them, step in. No need comparing her with someone else.

Apparently, you expected people to agree with you that it is not wrong however, you seem disappointed you are not getting the response.
Your mom and your wife are two individuals and that your mother did those things you stated doesn't mean everyone would do it. You could have set this expectations from courtship and if she isn't comfortable with it, you both could have parted ways.
As it is now, what roles do you play to make it easy for her to meet up these expectations of yours?

Dinner:

Wheat amala with ewedu.

Sonnobax15:

13 years marriage filled up with trust issues?

Some stories I read online just dey make me dey get double thoughts whether I should transform this my 3 years relationship into marriage or I should just escape through the window for my dear life

God abeg oh

You dey go no where ooo. After all your escapades, who you wan leave her for? She don turn bone for your neck.

Obaaderemi2:
He's an APC bot trying to justify what's going on currently in Nigeria.

Thanks for clarifying.

podium:
I was in the village on Wednesday, there are two land in the village which my dad use it as a collateral to collect 300k for my brother school stuff. He beg those people for the money and even show them my brother results, that was why those people gave him 150k each, even if the want to sell the two land, it will not be upto 500k.. I have beg my dad to sell the two land in other to take my brother to a rehab centre.. he said the land was a gift from his grandparents, and it is not usually sold..

If he wouldn't sell his land to take care of his son, why are you stressing yourself?

Free2Fly:
You're not a Nigerian and won't understand

The Govt doesn't conduct funerals for the dead in Nigerian; families do and it's very expensive, especially for struggling families.

So, the father saying that was a way of reminding the guy what lies ahead for him and a subtle threat for him to call his siblings to order.

We should stop encouraging wrong behavior. The dead is gone and people should do what they can within their means to bury their dead when it happens. There's no measure for what a successful burial is.

Dinner:

Pasta with home made Alfredo sauce.

doggedfighter:
Do we have this potatoes here in naija ?

Does it taste like the common potatoes or is it different ?

It is possible we have it. One may need ask around. It taste like every other potatoes but a little firmer. I but it mainly because I realized it is very good in making gnocchi.

Brilliancepower:
Use your Brain! Can't you see that the city is already developed. Common, they have to forge a part for the train. Haba.. Argue intelligently.🙄

Wish you were a little more intelligent and not mediocre in thought. 15years to complete a less than 100mile road? Nigeria deserves the leaders she have.

JustJoined001:
Nah, I don’t suffer from body stuff… I think it’s just the breathe which she mentioned….

But Mehn broken down… just need to break up and then fix the breathe thing.

I would suggest you give it sometime as she was at least sincere with you since you did not suggest she said it in a derogatory manner. Please see a dentist and a simple scaling and polishing with the use of a recommended toothpaste might help.

Dinner:

Russet potatoes with egg sauce.

Is this truly worth celebrating? Constructing a rail track for a road less than 100 miles for over 15 years?

Learn not to compare yourself with others. You are unique in your own ways.

lexxwiz:
Ilipeju spotted!

No, I was referring to Festac. I think it is general though as they never placed value on the funds since it wasn't worked for.

Kenneth4u205:
This man is lying.It is not possible for a Yahoo to go broke . Yahoo business doesn't need capital to start. You only need a good brain and mobile phone/laptop.
The true story is that he was not successful in yahoo business and decided to switch over to security job

Not true. The yahoo boys I know back in the days (between 2001 and 2004), most of them are now near church rats. It is a money they did not work for so there was no way they could manage it successfully.

doggedfighter:
After eating this size of chicken, I will just drink water. No need for the rice.

I need some food with it ooo otherwise, I would get hungry sooner.

Alakoriomo:
No Nigerian does such in the US. No Nigerian work in restaurant in the US. Even students on F1 visa get paid minimum of $200,000 per hour. While I know you have to work hard to be successful anywhere in the world, US rewards twice as effort u put in.

You can choose to twist what I said to suit your narrative nonetheless, my question remains what proportion of Nigerians do those jobs you listed? There is no shame in doing such as some people started from such jobs, it is part of their story and not their final destination.

Dinner:

Jollof rice, dodo, and grilled chicken.

Are you treating the infections individually? Like many have suggested, take her to the hospital for both of you to be comprehensively tested and treated.
As for the no ambition, do you try to encourage her to work? One thing about our women, particularly those who grew up in the hinterland, is that they don't have much inertia but once you help them start, you will see how determined they are to succeed. How often do you seat down to talk about what she would like to do or what options are available for her? Get more involved in her life than sex as you both should be working on building a successful home together.

Alakoriomo:
At least an overwhelming majority of Nigerians , including you, will pray to go to America and be washing yansh than to be a dangote and otedola combined in Nigeria. That tells u how Nigeria don spoil reach. An average thrash collector in the US live better and is richer than dangote

How many Nigerians do you know in the US doing such jobs? Those who start a CNA, how many mashes that their final career destination?

Learn to reason properly before you write.

They spend recklessly on themselves and tell the average Nigerian to endure the hardship imposed on them from bad policies and government recklessness.

Sapeleboy911:
Haba bro over 400k minimum wage? The minimum wage is around $7.5 per hour. If that guy is on a minimum wage, he can complain; there are poor people in America, too.

It is Canadian grocery and their minimum wage is at least $15/hour.