₦airaland Forum

SmartPolician:
Unfortunately, we are in Nigeria. Japanese people are free to walk around naked on the streets. Would you say the same for Abu Dhabi and Doha? Or aren't those cities too? We must learn good things from the west and drop the negatives. That's exactly what the Gulf countries have done. Civilization doesn't mean walking around the streets like harlots. You want the ladies to emulate dressing like prostitutes on the streets, yet you are crying they are kicking our men out of their homes when husbands bring their wives over to the west. We must understand that we are Africans with a distinct culture.

One, most Igbo women's traditional dresses are skimpy in nature. If we were to practice the tradition as it is, the ladies would adorn very short dresses. Two, there are better ways to address the issue rather than deploying hungry and angry men in the middle of the night to harass bystanders and passers-by. Three, we are in the tropics, and one phenomenon I have observed across all tropical countries is the loose clothing the residents wear. The difference are in places with Islamic influence. So referencing the likes of Dubai and Doha do not count as they practice Sharia which most of you criticise. So choose a struggle - do you want Sharia or not? That is the difference between the clothing in Malaysia vs Singapore. Lastly, Anambra has far more important issues to address than violently pursuing women in the middle of the night looking for who wore a short dress or not.

pansophist:
You are right, and no where have I said that women who messed up do not have high status men. But the chance is slim. Its like me telling you that people are winning Betnaija daily, so you should start gambling. But what are your chances? Will you work with probability, or on certainty? I also think such men that are with damaged have given women hope to go and spoil themselves. Afterall, one guy out there will forget her past. I have had on Turkish exchange student that refused to date guy while she was in school, all because it will be hard for her to get married in Turkey if she loose her virginity. Turkish men will hardly accept her and see her as unfit as a wife, and for that reason, she kept herself virtuous. If Naija men have such standards, infidelity will reduce.

Largely due to religion and culture. I explained why this is the difference between southern Nigeria and its northern counterpart. Na men cause these things.

SmartPolician:
Stop making excuses for stupidity because governance is all encompassing.

Ridding our society of immorality shouldn't stop Investment in technology, building world-class infrastructure, fixing our broken education system, etc.

There's nowhere developed country (strictly on infrastructures) where there are agencies to cross-check what ladies wear. The number of young Japanese ladies I saw yesterday on short skirts (very very very short!) was uncountable. There's no law enforcement authority to ransack their bodies because they wore short dresses. Is there anywhere in Anambra that's as developed as anywhere in Japan or even Malaysia?

To think that this is the same Soludo I use to read in the newspapers narrating how he would turn Ndi Anambra to Africa's Taiwan or Japan. This is a man who got a first class from UNN and won prizes as a stellar student. This is a man who worked at different times with the IMF, World Bank, Cambridge and Oxford universities.

Honestly, Nigeria's political elites no be am.

Tufaikwa!

Honestly, I wished we had data for marriage rates and the ages at which folks get married that cut across all ethnic groups in the country. I want to see if the social media posts align with reality. Are Nigerian men marrying much later in life? If yes, this means the women are also doing the same. In which ethnic group(s) is this more pronounced and less obvious? If they marry much later in life, why do they do so?

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According to an article in The Economist, the north has a higher fertility rate than the south largely because the latter's women are marrying much later in life. So with that, one can infer that southern Nigerian men marry later in life.

Article by The Economist (free-to-read): https://archive.md/3UMVL

Is that why Paul Okoye of PSquare married someone who probably completed NYSC? Outside Lagos, largely due to the economics, Nigerian men prefer women who they out-earn and can provide for. The women, in turn, are hypergamous.

LordAdam16:
When you think about it, it is strange that India doesn't display more innovative verve.
Maybe time is on their side and they certainly have near-unlimited potential.

When every top/elite Indian from the university aims to study and reside in the US/West, how would they? In contrast to their counterparts in Russia, China, Korea and Japan. The US sucks too many elite performers from developing countries at a very young age.

Truth be told, the Global South is lucky to have Putin, Xi, and Modi at the same time.
That's a rare W.
Part of the US charm offensive might be to have some input on who replaces Modi. What they'd give to sic a Buhari on India.

Oh yes! They tried with it this Indonesia and failed. The Economist was at the forefront and I was glad Indonesians saw the handwriting on the wall. Imagine promoting the third candidate who stood no chance as the brightest to win. India could be susceptible because of some of the factors you listed. Hopefully, Modi and Co reduce their foreign influences and most importantly, funding. He and Putin should not quickly forget the bad and inhumane treatment they got from the West.

Kelechi009:
Nigerian women often overestimate their influence, assuming that every man’s hard work and success is driven by a need to prove something to an ex. Imagine going through the challenges of relocating, studying for exams, learning a new language in a foreign country, and tirelessly praying and preparing for opportunities only to have someone think it was all motivated by a past relationship. Nigerian women are so used to men who place all their self esteem on the money they have, someone wrote on Twitter that if you correct a Nigerian man, he will respond by saying "he is richer than you", such a moronic concept.

Bros,

Thanks for your detailed explanation.

To the post, I don't see it as a gender issue, but cultural and economic. The former is largely associated with the Igbos as we tie our sole existence to how much one has. This rubs on the women and they - just like the male folks - look down on "broke" people. To the latter, the excruciating poverty, lack of abundant economic opportunities, competition for the scarce ones and lack of wants in society means those who attain a level of financial comfort are accorded respect. That is the truth, and this cuts across all groups in the country, but I reckon it is worse with the Igbos. In fact, I bet that most of the complaints many men on social media have about "Nigerian women" are largely associated with southern Nigerian women, not those up north.

You might deny it, but many men, not just Nigerian men, work hard so they can afford to start and raise families. When I speak with persons especially those who seek to know why I came to Japan, they ponder about marriage plans. To them, I am too money-driven to omit that aspect. But this is not the same for most men, especially Black African males. The truth is: men strive because of women, especially in a conservative society such as Nigeria. Unfortunately, no data, but we should ask ourselves how many financially stable men in Nigeria (all ethnic groups) are single and don't plan to marry in the near future? I wager the number will be single digits.

Just take a look at this moronic post below, a rich Nigerian man with no self esteem (Someone like Davido & his groups of clowns kneeling & begging women for sex with all that money they have) is the Nigerian dream for Nigerian women, once you complain about anything regarding their behaviours, they just automatically conclude you're broke.

Davido kneeling to beg for sex was very worrisome and disgraceful. But my thinking is that it is because of how we view sex in the country - unholy, sacred and something that we should stay off till marriage. But in contrast to societies in Southern Africa or the Caribbean which are sexually liberal than ours, sex is seen as nothing as it is not heavily frowned upon (pre-marital sex). I think that is the ideology that drives our men to die put on top sex because hey, they never had it or had it easily or enough while they were much younger. That is one reason our men get into an intense sex drive once they become financially stable even while married (although this cuts across all racial groups). But compared to other wealthier racial groups, we attain financial stability later in life. And compared to those in Southern Africa and the Caribbean, we are chained by religious and cultural ideologies.

Men need to detach their self-worth from their bank balance and focus on gaining knowledge and intelligence. It may take time, but real success will come. Nigerian women’s go-to tactic is to shame men for being broke at every opportunity. They constantly seek out wealthy but weak-willed men to marry, but I refuse to be part of that cycle.

Oh! That would take a long time to come. Mind you, some if not most of our brothers are exporting this "Nne, let me give you money because of your beauty" and "paying their GFs monthly salaries for being in a relationship" to nearby African countries. A NLder once noted how Northern Christian women love Igbo men because "they like to spend on women". Everyone loves money. So when the women have been so used to it, they are bound/expected to slander/shame men who are broke.

I recently told a Nigerian dude that there's no shame in acknowledging your broke days especially at the young age of 22-26. The woman trying to shame you for it is likely facing similar struggles. Being broke is just a phase in life, most people have experienced it and moved past it. Nigerian men need to break free from the mindset of constantly trying to impress women by pretending to be rich. He was surprised.

Yes, it is important to acknowledge that phase in life. However, unlike men, women can get married even while broke or even doing nothing. Someone from somewhere can give her free money simply because she is a woman. I come across beautiful ladies on social media, and in my mind, these ladies would never be broke. I had them in school - they never had financial problems at all. There was a man somewhere to prove he was up and doing. Nigerian men tie their existence to how much they have.

Talking about how many women struggle in reality, take Nengi from Big Brother as an example, she has ended up this month as the fifth baby mama to a 70-year-old Bayelsa State governor. Beauty can open doors, but it’s not enough to sustain success. Many Nigerian women lack the knowledge and mindset to build something meaningful that generates profit and value. Unfortunately, a lot of female Nigerian celebrities follow the same path, and these are the role models many young Nigerian women In and outside nairaland like Tightpussy2024 look up to.

Most women just want to be taken care of. Only very few want to continue working or assume major financial providers. This is largely evolutionary. Again, this cuts across all racial groups as the women - even while working class - are still hypergamous whether in the West, East Asia or developing countries. We have Nigerian men who want their wives to become SAHMs once they can muster the financial strength to take care of the household. We have men here lamenting how women - their wives - have to go to work where they are answerable to other men. It is because of the structure of the global economy, but most men would not mind that their wives stay at home. Some women even love it - Japanese women. Once they marry men who work at big traditional Japanese companies, they take the back seat. That is, resign or take a low-paying/less lucrative job and cater to their children. The men, in turn, love it as they assume full financial provision for the family. Traditional Japanese companies because they offer job security.

I cannot say for Nengi as both parties denied the story, but Diri has four baby mamas already? Our politicians follow cause this women's entitlement problem.

pansophist:
Before government can arrest men for not getting married, the government should make sure that they have satisfy the following.

1. The girls are worth marrying. Imagine forcing men to marry Saidal Boj lol
2. There are jobs for men to take care of their family
Otherwise, it is dead on arrival.

This is the number one factor globally for men marrying late or deciding not to marry. From what I have read so far, men are seemingly tired of the job market which pits them against women and other men for scarce roles. At the same time, these women are hypergamous - so the men do not just have to compete with women for limited jobs, but have to satisfy their hypergamous tendencies.

Marriage rates have plunged across the developed world, and if not for culture and strong religion inclinations, the same would have replicated itself across Africa.

Mineisgrace:
We live and we learn.. Never give a man your money. Even if they pretend to be dying.

I hope you didn't borrow him a huge sum of money before he started to dig up your Facebook? That's part of the gimmicks they use when they are trying to run away with your money. They will bring up all kinds accusation. They can even say your grandmother was a woman and so they are no longer interested

pansophist:
About working hard because I was rejected, I wanted to ignore, but it was difficult for me to resist the urge to shalaye. So if a man choose not to be succesful, he is a looser, but if he is sucessful, then its because he was rejected? lol

So Davido, Tinubu, C Ronaldo, were successful becuase women reject them? Whats so special about women's rejection? does that mean God have rejected me? na wa

It is funny how people believe wealth comes from nowhere or that men who don't have foundational wealth shouldn't work hard to build themselves. Remain idle and become mediocre? Wahala. Work hard to build oneself and earn a sustainable living? Signs of being rejected.

Nigerians are too classist for people who are too poor.

pansophist:
Gerrard59, see wetin you cause? This person don open office on top my matter/.

To be honest, I wanted a company. The woman don drag my moniker for this forum tire.

This makes us two to be dragged.

Drella:
Higher skilled Nigerian workers with vast years of experience get paid more than that sef.
Those drillers and oil rig workers earn very well.

As seen here: https://x.com/morris_monye/status/1890394863754993739?s=48

So, I was right after all. My years as a recruiter in Nigeria was not bad after all.

miketayo:
When it comes to salary, unless you ask someone who works there, don't believe anything you see online.
I am talking about Chevron, I don't care what the others pay.
Then those people must be ignorant like you, they aren't as exposed as they think.

If Seplat can pay 3M, why should an MNC like Chevron pay way lower?

Mammangaddafi:
Leave those guys make them dey lie to themselves…one was even saying a salary of 2m is managing for him..

But Seplat is paying 3M per month to new employees.

adegoke616:
you can start your job hunting after you arrive, because you also need a good job to stay afloat

The person I referenced had full funding. I know two others who couldn't get jobs because they neglected to learn Japanese and started job hunting very late. These persons were also fully funded. Na so so flexing dem do - Tokyo today, Hokkaido tomorrow. As I write, I no know wetin dem dey do. But I know that learning this language while in an uncomfortable livelihood is very hard.

Tightpussy2024:
His kids are teens. The youngest I know of is 12. There are on the internet and have handles and view all this drama.

If they refuse to associate much to him men will say that the women poisoned their minds against him and start talking how bitter single moms are . Three women have been made single moms because of a man "peace of mind". No one will acknowledge how this breaks family structure or leads to societal break down and the rest they accuse feminism of.

@ge.rrad59

It actually does. The blame is on TuFace. Maybe this is why polygamy was preferable in the olden days. Most importantly, I have been an advocate of baby mama. So, that is a whole big issue for him to handle before this new one. The dude is just too randy. Na people like am need a vasectomy.

Your point about the children despising him is accurate. Na him cause. Hopefully, his wealth remains and grows bigger as that is the major force/deterrent every man should possess in today's world, especially when growing older.

One of the phenomena that used to "bother" me was why the West is much against the Chinese notwithstanding the colonial dehumanisation China went through in their hands. Then I recalled how Japan's wings were clipped and while going through Trump's staff during his first tenure (way before the 2024 election), I came across an official (one of the rare black officials) who clearly stated that unlike the Soviet Union or Russia as we know it to be, China is not "Western", aka Caucasian aka White. And unlike the Soviets who didn't run a proper economy, the Chinese do. So, it is the first time the US has faced a great power that is not White. Japan could have been that power, but it had military bases after being hit TWICE by the same US. As a result, it signed the Plaza Accord which wrecked its economy. Also, it had a smaller geographical mass, a smaller population compared to China and no nuclear weapons. All of which are opposite to China.

So at the end of the day, race plays a major part. This is why I agree with some folks who say Trump and Elon are willing to "work" with a fellow White/Caucasian country - Russia - to get back at China. Whether the Russians would do so is yet to be seen.
Comments by the former official (Kiron Skinner):
- https://foreignpolicy.com/2019/05/02/the-slip-that-revealed-the-real-trump-doctrine/
- https://www.newsweek.com/china-threat-state-department-race-caucasian-1413202

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What does anyone think of Modi's visit to the Oval Office? I know the West has tried bromancing with the Indians especially Modi who was once branded a terrorist (by the US) in a bid to get back at China. Thankfully, the Indians stood their ground during the unnecessary war between Russia and Ukraine. As we've seen, any country or country's elites that sacrifices itself for the US would ALWAYS lose. The recent events remind me of how I cautioned the Taiwanese I met months ago never to allow an outsider push him to fight his elder brother.

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Once again, sheer kudos to Pansophist who saw everything for what it was and it is. Russia wins. I owe you a gift, no jokes. Your arguments entirely changed my perspective and outlook. 🙌🏿

Tightpussy2024:
Well,the thing is that men without money or average earning men choose women based on societal standards. This men are in survival mood . It is "who is good for me" that matters not "who I want" . It's why people that hammer on virginity,youngness and the rest are rarely ever the top 20% men. When you are average earning or struggling,it's the love of a pure young woman that will make you see through the dark days . Such women aren't always meant to be your last bus stop. Most men never marry the women that they want. They mostly settle for who easily integrate to their world.Many don't even know the women they want. When money ,age and power comes in,they switch to who they want,not what they need/good for them. King David saw Bathsheba bathing,when he fell for he. At this point he didn't care if she has being married or had kids with Uriah. And amongst all his wives and kids,it's the one with Bathsheba he made his heir.
It is just who appeals to your soul that matters. Most of the successful actors married women older than them (cilian Murphy, Chris Hemsworth etc). Just like hijab,"rules" and "standards" are for the masses. Look at tuface,he has never been this happy. Never expressive,just quiet and humble. Now he is talking . Same with yul edochie,everyday one new post. First he wants to be governor,then pastor,now native doctor. No one ever saw these men lively and happy with their first wives. When I see Alfa meils talking of what alpha means I just laugh because alphas are lone wolves. You think an alpha will bring home a judy Austin as a wife and it is an age aunt or family that will tell you that you can't marry her.lol How did king Edward lose his crown to queen Elizabeth? Na divorcee he carry come royal family.them no gree. He said they should keep their crown to themselves. Abacha carried a four months pregnant woman from her husband and married and funny thing is that he didn't marry a second wife. Same with IBB(it was alleged that Mariam was pregnant with bongos child) . He also didn't marry a second wife . Leonardo caprio only dates below 25 year old and has never married any of them . lol.

cc; pansophist

What do you say? You can click on the moniker to reveal the post as it was well paragraphed.

Tightpussy2024:
Well,the thing is that men without money or average earning men choose women based on societal standards. This men are in survival mood . It is "who is good for me" that matters not "who I want" . It's why people that hammer on virginity,youngness and the rest are rarely ever the top 20% men. When you are average earning or struggling,it's the love of a pure young woman that will make you see through the dark days . Such women aren't always meant to be your last bus stop. Most men never marry the women that they want. They mostly settle for who easily integrate to their world. Many don't even know the women they want.

Doesn't the bold apply to women as well?

When money ,age and power comes in,they switch to who they want,not what they need/good for them. King David saw Bathsheba bathing,when he fell for he. At this point he didn't care if she has being married or had kids with Uriah. And amongst all his wives and kids,it's the one with Bathsheba he made his heir.
It is just who appeals to your soul that matters.

Most of the successful actors married women older than them (cilian Murphy, Chris Hemsworth etc). Just like hijab,"rules" and "standards" are for the masses.

I am curious, what would be your advice to young Nigerian women interested in marriage? Please do note that almost every woman is hypergamous.

P.S. I think money provides greater options, so humans tend to become choosy or want more as they can afford. Just as employees' expenses increase as salaries increase.

bolu96:
Have you seen the interview of Adebakin and Badekale?

Not at all. I believe it should be on Campus Champions by Punch Newspapers. Has any given such?

God1000:
Unless they’re white South African farmers, They can't stay.

Brown, black and pink have got to go.

Humans are tribal. You people will learn a thing or two about the true nature of human beings. Begin to get used to it.

The era of lovey-dovey is gradually coming to an end.

repent4christ:
Why is Panama accepting citizens that are not theirs.,.for what exactly?

Rwanda did the same thing regarding deportees from the UK , did you raise eyebrows? Panama cannot say no to a request from the US. It's a question of how high should I jump, not whether I should jump or not.

DimIsaac10:
It's his opinion. Respect it.
State yours too with facts.

It's a stoopid opinion, nevertheless. Does he know any first class graduate who was exposed for bribery or sleeping with lecturers after or upon graduation? It's not possible ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.

irumole1975:
Gerrard59 is right. There’s no where in this world where you can sleep ur way to having a 1st class. You know why? It means you have to sleep with every lecturers to have an A. Assuming you did 40 courses throughout ur 4yrs programs, it means you’re sleeping with an average of 30 to 32 lecturers, and in fact, no single lecturer handle a single course in Nigeria’

Some of such people have never interacted with lecturers on a one-to-one level. First class students are the most scrutinised especially in their penultimate years. Lecturers can just decide give a far lower grade to scuttle one's chances for no just reason. So imagine coming across a tale that the student once bribed or slept with another lecturer or even a beautiful girl the lecturer might be eyeing or admire.

My senior friend who now works with NNPC had lower than expected/usual grades in his final year simply because he was about to be the first non-indigene to convoke with a first class from the department. This wasn't known to a few lecturers until his final year's first semester. This means if he had a negative past as per bribery, the momentum to reduce his future grades would have been higher. Even students who sort from first year to final year aren't assured of 2.1. above 4.0 let alone to be a first class graduate.

cc: Fabrice07

eddychukwu:
So even os wey use kpekus obtain first class go enter DSS?

You cannot get a first class ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD by sleeping with lecturers or bribery. It's not possible.

santaclaws:
Such an unintelligent submission. . .

There are lots of 1st class degree holders who are physically and mentally unfit for the intelligence community. In fact, the intelligence community needs more of people who are mavericks, street smart people, people of different backgrounds etc.

The calibre of leaders in our military and intelligence agencies and the way they reason ehn...

In the same cohort, there are equally very balanced and exceptional folks who hold first class from various fields. That's why it's a recruitment process. So it's still appropriate.

"Forced" is an arrogant word to use. Why should graduates be forced to work for an organisation?

Simply open a graduate recruitment program and set first class/distinction as the minimum requirement to apply. Dufil Foods and another major FMCG do the same. Afriinvest once did the same but with mathematics and physics grads.

Tightpussy2024:
Why didn't she give you peace? Was this her character or there were things from you that warrant her lack of peace?

Why I accept that there are troublesome women,there are also times men will torment you with cheating, maltreatment and if you dare say pim,you are not giving him peace? What is the safe outlet for women to vent their dissatisfaction and hurt? If they talk,it is nagging. If they leave, heaven will break lose. If they quarrel,they are confrontonal. If they revolt, unsubmissive.if they cry,they are manipulative? Tell me how to react while still maintaining peace when your husband is the paying the school fees of a side chick and allowance

A tricky question: does she withhold sex from the man? This whole issue stems from the one-man-one-woman ideology. It is very unrealistic considering the cultural, religious and most importantly economic peculiarities in Nigeria. Also, most of these men's wives came into their lives when they had money (hypergamy, which I have no issues with), then suddenly want to control everything.

Tightpussy2024:
But the single mothers tuface left behind are doing fine na..since single motherhood is no longer a curse .should I remind you of Judy Austin?

When men bring in a second wife,it's rarely a young fresh woman,most times it is a divorcee or single mom. The young ones just want to sake bum bum on IG,as for Iphone and bone straight . They don't trust those young women. When you are older or richer(if you ever become rich) you will understand men psychology

The bold could be disputed as it varies. But I wonder why those who don't marry single and much younger women do so. But then, that is what choice is all about. In TuFace's case, she is young, never been married or been a mother.

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I've read that she has married previously.

I want to believe those who say Tinubu sponsored Peter Obi. Whether the latter knows this as a personal agreement or not, I don't care. Kenneth Okonkwo and Pat Utomi worked for APC before the 2015 elections. So, why does Obi believe they will want his success? I am glad he lost, and in 2027, he would lose again. This time, more woefully than ever.

ednut1:
this guy messaged me on TikTok. I told him if he wants to come on student visa he should hold his 40m naira down for fees and living expenses. 2 months later i saw him in another post ( cant find the post) saying Nigerians abroad are second class citizens. I didn’t even realise he was the one till i clicked his profile and say a familiar picture 😂

So that includes his mom, abi him no think am before he comment?

People should learn that this is life, you win some and lose some. You cannot always win. As a carpenter, he has no business in the abroad, and that is the truth. His bet would have been the US if he had a direct family member.

Tightpussy2024:
That moment when Gerrar.d59 peeps at this thread to evaluate the woman.

If she is young,never been married and childless,he will defend tuface right to remarry as he did sir jaurus

If she is older, divorced or has a child. He will acknowledge tuface did Annie dirty

Actually, when I saw this thread, I thought of our conversation regarding divorce rates and high rates of single parenting in the society. Apparently, humans will do anything they like without caring for societal consequences. Like this TuFace's case, I am perplexed because of the high number of children he has. This could just be me because I am not a fan of too many children regardless of wealth.

Going forward, anything wey woman or man wan do with their lives is entirely their business. Whether woman wan divorce ten times or man wan marry plenty of wives and born yanfu-yanfu, e concern them.

As for Jarus' case, my stance was solely based on his religion: Islam permits polygamy. Any woman who does not like it should explore the many options available. I cannot dictate to a Muslim what to or what not to do.