₦airaland Forum

What you are doing is wrong . You have no self control whatsoever, don’t try to deceive yourself by saying you can’t help it .

You rather hurt your wife than try to have some self control even for a minute . It’s not fair .

At this rate nothing can help you, no advise will be enough to change your mind . Just know that you reap what you sow. The consequences of your actions are coming , you can’t run away from it .

I888:
Yeah, you thought wrong. Perhaps, her mother told her something that you may not be aware of. while growing up, was there any time you spent at least some years together in same house?

We have spent 5months with each other in the same house and kept in touch yearly while we were kids at my grandparents house. Ate from the same bowl every night. So it’s not like I am starting a bond with her all of a suddenly. We had a family foundation.

I888:
Alright. I understand how you feel but these things happen. My half brother is a medical doctor in the U.S. he grew up there and no matter what we did to draw close to him, he never reciprocated. The reason is simple: We didn't grow up with him and we are more or less like aliens to him; no bond and nothing. This we tried for more than 6 years until we gave up and let him be.

Sorry dear . I and my sister we are close in a way though . Or perhaps I thought wrong .

kenwills:
Trust me I know how it feels when you truely desire to be united with your sibling but she acts indifferent and unconcerned.

I am currently experiencing the same thing with my elder sister. I tried calling her to order and making her see reasons that we're one family and not enemies but she got angry the more so I kept my distance.

Do not cut her off just let her be and give her the space she craves for. As time goes on you'll discover a friend that sticks closer than a sibling so move on.

I’ve already let her be. All the stuffs I was planning to get her December by God’s grace would give someone else . I won’t even call her to let her know I’ve arrived my dad’s town . The grandkids all meet at my grandparents house yearly cos they are old and lonely so we spend time with them . I don’t want to hear a word about her anymore, nor would I make her life my priority or ask her what’s going on in her life.

I888:
You cant force someone to love you if they dont want to love you. You cant force someone to like you, if they dont want to like you. You cant force someone to be close to you if they dont want to be close to you.

I am surprise this hurts you. You have done your best. Leave her alone. Remember you came into this world alone, you will leave alone eventually.

It is not that she hates you but you didnt grow up together and that bond isnt there. You cant force it, you cant buy it, Just live your life and be happy. Your happiness comes first.

It hurts me , this is my only blood sibling, I wouldn’t have cared much if it wasn’t so. Well thanks for your encouraging words.

She should just shut the hell up. All these pastors should preach the word of God rather than teaching from their own understanding.

The Bible says it’s a sin to even call someone a fool. In her haste to sound woke she called people idiots to pass a message God didn’t call her for .

Let’s be guided . Jesus never called anyone names in the Bible none God too. Let’s be careful about who will call our spiritual leaders so they don’t teach us what God never said.

New generational pastors are beginning to teach based on their understanding and need to be popular, they add to the word of God . What God didn’t say or mean they distort and add their own meaning.

They should focus on the word of God and leave motivational messages to counselors who actually are more fit than those Pastor hypocrites.

Ok alright . It’s official .

I really like nengi . There’s something about her that’s soul touching. Nengi baby go girl , I got your back.

Lucy is looking fine today o. Why is nobody talking about it na?

But if it’s nengi and Erica we won’t hear word .

I like vee fans sha. They don’t talk much but they overdo . Wonderful!!

Ebuka‘s trouser bulge though

The dj is good . Like really good.

Prince be giving vibes .

I like the smell of the male sweat. Natural sweaty scent o, not the body odor type .

I like the smell of burning wood.
The goaty scent of goats .
Burnt fish.

Chii59:
She doesn't like you that much, if she does at all. See, I'm a lady but I'll say, it's preferable to have a step bro than step sis. Ladies hearts has too many layers.
Just give her space, don't pry, don't be bothered about the details of her life. I believe she's an adult. She can take care of herself. And try to limit the frequency and amount of money you send. I hope you don't feel responsible for her financially. Let it pass a message to her that you are giving her the space, both you and your purse.

Alright. Thanks dear. I’ve heard . At least I have a childhood friend that has been more than a sister to me .

Acidosis:
Your efforts are commendable to be honest. But I feel your dad has done too much to her in the past. Staying too close to you and your father may be her way of getting over the past.

Our dad is hot tempered and has done things to me but I have forgiven him. Even that my sister has said some things to me too which I forgave .

She keeps malice which I’ve told her to change . If you tell her something, she would keep it in her mind for years to remember you what you said . Infact I can’t type all she has done as it would be too much . Our dad and her don’t agree at all and it’s not my fault .

I only see her when I goes to visit our dad in his town . That’s where she stays even though she live on her own now . She’s 22yrs old and she has made mistakes I’m trying my best to be there for her but the way she treats me like I’m nothing and all my efforts are in vain is very hurting .

I just wanted a sister bond cos when I see my friends and their siblings I get sad and feel this inner emotional pain.

Chii59:
I don't understand how you feel since I've always been surrounded by siblings. But I'd tell you that even siblings, same father and mother can be cruel to their blood, how much more a step sister? You didn't live under the same roof, you lived with your parents, she lived with extended family. She may have grown to hate your mom and you by extension. You never can tell her true intentions towards you.
Leave her be!

She didn’t live with my mom . We share same father not mother . She stays with our dad in his town while I in my mom’s town . We stay wide apart not same place .

She just sees me as irrelevant I think.

Takotsubo:
Then, have one final chat with her to explain how you feel and let her go. You're causing yourself a lot of turmoil .
Try to focus on yourself and protect your mental health.

Thanks. I’ve called her and told her my mind then ended the call in anger . She didn’t even bother to call back . I’m fine no worries . Now I know I was fooling myself all along anyways.

Acidosis:
You're trying too hard to take over your father's responsibility.

All I wanted is for her to feel loved. That I have her back no matter what. Well, I’ve tried my best and God knows I mean well . I’m older than her and I’m trying to be the best big sister anyone could ask for but she shuts me out . It hurts.

She doesn’t tell me anything going on in her life till I call. If I don’t call for months she won’t either . But when it comes to money she wakes me up with calls as early as 7.am.

Takotsubo:
@Ginaz

What is the reason for the dislike your dad has for her and how obvious is he about it?

Is it possible that you're overcompensating to cover up for the way your father treats her?

Does your dad compare you two and does he treat you as his favourite?

Put yourself in her shoes for a second, imagine living with the knowledge that your own father does not like you and isn't subtle about it. Not only that,but also witnessing dad showering love and attention on another sibling.It must have been hard for her to stomach that and that's why she moved out.

Perhaps in her search for belonging and love, she tried to create her own little family, unfortunately, father of the baby is dead and she is alone again now stranded with a child and having to ask you(who she probably resents for help).

She has been dealt a heavy blow by life at first through no fault of hers(by being born) and I think her behaviour will be marred by anger targeted at you for being the perfect child who has the love of her father, inferiority complex,loss and grief.

If I were you,I would love her from a distance. Stop over extending yourself but at the same time offer understanding about how she has turned out.

People cannot give what they don't have..she never felt loved or wanted so it will be hard for her to accept love & reciprocate your gestures of care.


I can understand the emotional toll this is taking on you but you cannot undo all the psychological scars that have happened to her in the past.

Tell her you will be there for her if she needs you but explain that you are tired of being shut out of her life when all you want to do is be present for her. Reassure her that the door will always be open for her then allow her to decide how to go forward.

You have tried to meet her with kindness and that's way more than a lot of people would do.

My dad doesn’t like her cos she has a bad mouth and hot temper . He does compare us sometimes but I always rebuke him and have quarreled with him the way he does treat her.

My dad always tell me I don’t know my sister very well that I should leave her alone . I feel kindness towards her not that I want to compensate for my dad’s lack of love towards her but cos I really care. I’ve realized it’s me always want to be in her life , i do the calling 100% of the time just to check up on her and the calls last for an hour or least 30minutes. She only calls when she needs money.

My sister can keep malice for Africa also.

decatalyst:
Invite her and give her a piece of your mind.

If she doesn't change, cut her off!

She lives far from me. Let me not bother cos I have invited her to come visit me when she was pregnant so I could take care of her but she refused .

I thought siblings look out for each other. It’s painful that all she needed from me is money .

GraGra247:
Tell her how you feel and if she still continues then away with her.

I’ve told her countless times but she laughs it off.

Well , I will mind my own business. Seems like I’m forcing her . If I had more siblings maybe I wouldn’t been this hurt .

I have a step sister who happens to be my only sibling, who I have shown nothing but love since we were kids. She lives with our dad’s family but has gone to live on her own .

I remembered when we were kids , I would give her money to school, and whatever I have I would give. Shared my toiletries , clothes And would give her sisterly advise, never wanted her to feel down cos my dad never liked her . So whatever my dad gave me I would share with her .

There was an accident that happened and she said “I’m not her sister “. It hurt me so much cos I don’t have any siblings apart from her and thought she had my back .

I forgave her though .

Now the issue is , she had a child out of wedlock. When she put to birth I was supportive, I sent her money. She only Calls me when she needs something from me . If anything is going on she doesn’t confide in me, I am always the last to know .

She doesn’t make me feel like I am needed except when she wants money. Her boyfriend died, she didn’t even let me know, I heard from our grandma after 3months.

I’m so exhausted, I feel like cutting her off. I’m emotionally drained from her lack of concern towards me. Am I at fault for wanting her to include me in her life ? ?

So someone should kiss with a bad breath? You’re not serious at all.

Beautiful lady

Agbgift:
Where on Earth has roasting of Boli become a crime? Is it not a legit job?
By the way this is nairaland and not Twitter. Not every is on Twitter.

Ask them what nengi does for a living.

Ozo is the cause of the whole confusion . While I think he doesn’t own Dorathy anything as he has said many times he sees her as a friend , he should refrain from putting her and nengi in one sentence.

He can’t mention nengi without putting Dorathy, he pleases nengi today, go back to sooth Dorathy anger tomorrow. He’s going back and forth thinking he’s in charge but at the end lost his game .

If Dorathy is your friend , then stop the nonsense repetition. Viewers don’t need to be reminded . With the same sentence you will praise nengi to be your type . It’s emotionally painful and embarrassing.

I feel bad for Dorathy. It was ozo who brought “she is my spec and this is my friend “ Confusion in the first place .

Ozo has a need to be clarified and validated and that would be his downfall in the show if he doesn’t change. Such a confused human being. Tufiaka.

Ozo is the type that causes confusion in a relationship. The type of boyfriend you will have and confusion like COVID-19 will be showing up everyday.

I’ve heard this conversation in a movie . This is staged . I’m here with you cos I’m grateful was what the girl in the movie said exactly.

The mom is a black beauty . So beautiful .

Lol, she knows you best .

XXMML33:
See this one trying to form important.

Girl, no one gives a flying fuçk about whether you have lost interest in the show. Your opinions don't matter. You don't even matter. You can dive head long from the Onitsha bridge into the River Niger and drown and not even a single blog will carry the news.

Millions of Nigerians find this season interesting. In fact this season is probably the most competitive ever because there aren't any clear winners. You can't even predict the housemates that would be in finale.

So kindly roll up your inconsequential bullshit of an opinion in a tissue paper and slide it up your vagina. When you are done, crawl back to romance section and continue interacting with your fellow adolescents and leave us adults to enjoy our show.

Don’t be stupiddd. Least I remember you didn’t create the thread none the forum . It’s a public site for everyone to air their opinion and my opinion is mine , didn’t force it on your hairy and dry asss. Don’t die stupidd.