₦airaland Forum

sholay2011: It's fine ma. Didn't know you've expanded your jurisdiction to this section. Family woman. Lol.

Don't mind me jare, I visit this section and general section once in a while, especially where there is no interesting thing to discuss in my section and I'm less busy.
Isn't that fine?
Wetin person go do?
Thanks for your recognition sir.

Foundational problem I guess!
When the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do?
If a year marriage can collapse like this, then something is wrong with your dating period.
Answering these questions sincerely will help in a long way.........
Did you really love each other before you got married?
Were you match made?
What were the conditions you considered before agreeing to marry him?
Did you have to him because he got you pregnant?
Are you sure you didn't marry him because of his physical and financial materials he's got?
Were you really fond of each other each time you were together before marriage?
What exactly are the driving force for both of you coming together?
Did you have proper dating period?
Did you both underwent counseling before tying the knot?
Did you both discuss about your expectations after marriage?


Answer these questions sincerely, and let's take it from there.
May god help you and all of us.

My worst fear is any kid dying before me, sincerely, I don't want to experience such.

Another one is fading sight and hearing, my lovely and gracious MIL is experiencing such now, she will have to use a touchlight even at broad day light before she can read the bible daily, and you will have to move very close to her before she can hear you well respectively.
Living without my hubby, though, he's older than me, but I'm always afraid of when he will be no more, he's just too understanding to live without, may God help me.(Hope he doesn't see this o, so that his head do not start swelling, lol)
And lastly, when some stubborn youngies who do not want to be corrected accuse you of witchcraft(they usually say, iya yen ti gb'aje), just because you're continuously correcting their wrong ways.

sholay2011: Madam ...I see you in 3D. Kate my larve...

how your side sir?

Sincerely, i love and respect them both, especially for kids feeling great, but, is it really possible for the kids not to be affected, either now or later?




#team never raise your hand against your spouse

deskydejay: I av been dating this lady for the past 4years. she has been helpful but she doesn't give me respect and get angry easily with little issue. she even heat me at times when she is angry. I still love her but I am afraid of going into marriage with her. pls I need advice.

what exactly do you love about her?

If her good part outweighs her bad parts and the bad part is what you think you can cope with, (not what you can change o, because no one has power to change anyone), then you can go ahead and marry, but sincerely talking, living with someone who cant control his/her temper when angry is far beyond me. A lady who can have the gut to hit a guy when angry is probably a very hot tempered lady(i stand to be corrected anyway) and you will have to be extremely patient and tolerant if both of you will eventually come together.
I sincerely wish you well o, but just remember that, love alone isnt enough for marriage o.
However, you both can go for counselling together, from there, you will be able to hear what yor will have to cope with and be taught/advised on how you can cope with them.
May God help us all.

How come i missed this thread!
No thanks to a very busy schedule of mine!




@op, what your wife is doing is a total disrespect to your marriage of highest order, even, if she is the bread winner, i dont believe she should be doing all these to your face, in my own opinion, she doesnt have any iota of respect for you and she doesnt deserve your respect either. Call her firmly and state your terms and conditions for her for the last time, if she still want to remain in the marriage. If she adheres, forgive and forget, if she persists, try plan B, ie, give her an ultimatum, tell her to choose between you and her ex, tell her not to push you to the wall, ask her how she will feel, if the table is turned around and you are the one who is keeping in contact with your ex girlfried.
When respect is lost in a marriage, there is nothing left. I dont play with mutual respect at all, its one of the rope that binds marriage together.
Its always advisable to do unto others what you want them do unto you. Marriage is union, a relationship, it takes the effort of the two parties involved to make it work, any attempt made by one party to make it work without the reciprocating effort of the other party is just a waste of time and a futile effort.








One more thing, I see a "longerthroat" woman here.
And that is also a sign that shes a wrong woman to be married to.

However, it is not over until you win, talk, pray and believe the originator of marriage to heal your marriage.
And so i confess that it shall be well with your marriage once again. Amen.

chaircover: So long as you are nominating yourself

and sincerely i have four regular posters in mind......................
YOU
Efenema xy
Baby 123
Ileobatojo

As for me, presently, i dont have one of the pre-requisites and im not getting it soonest.


I will like if one of you four i nominated can be made the moderator.
Thanks.

Happy birthday!
Wishing you everything you wish yourself.


And regards to madam!

The fact is that, whether pregnant or not, its the language(whether sweet or abusive wrds) one is used to that one will always utter, so, its better to get used to sweet and salty words at all times, so that everyone around us, including our babies that are still in the womb can hear and get used to.

We should learn to always season our words with salt.
May God help us all.

Can we nominate?

[quote author=Every_LadY]I love that finally I got some responses on this issue. Thanks to all contributions. Most of the things I wrote are actually her personal concern, not mine. She keep asking me "Why am I interested in a man today,I will even be wishing he propose and the very moment the proposal comes,my interest begins to wane and I will not even want to see the person again".

Ms.Funmi Akingbade is Psychology/marriage counselor in Lagos. Me think she is kind of balanced in her approach to marriage issues.

@yellowpawpow, she has had her own share of psychological issues while growing up.Molested by uncles,suffered the death of 1st fiance while they were preparing for marriage,had another marriage preparation called off at the last minute.
So all these have compounded her case.
I will have her come here to read ur posts since she is not a nairalander.[/quote]she has all these problems, especially, being molested by uncles and here you are asking why shes afraid to love or marry anyone, the problem is that, she will believe all men are the same. She is suffering from the fear of the past and fear of the future. She need to see a psychologist/a certified marriage counsellor as soon as possible. It is not her fault at all. For now, if she is based in Nigeria, Funmi Akingbade is who comes to my mind. But tell her to not allow what happened in the past to ruin her future joy. It is well with her and may God give her the healing she really need.

@op, sorry for what you went through, there are so many sick people living with us every now and then, may God continue to be with all of us.

It's the duty of the parents to make sure their kids have trust and confidence in them in such a way that they will find it easy, safe and comfortable reporting to them.

As a parent, the work that God committed into our hands is enoumous and all we need to ask Him is to give us the required wisdom and ability to do the parenting work as expected of us.
If you have a girl child, its an extra, i mean additional duty, you have to be there for all of them, but our female children require more time, attention and guidance from us.
Though, at tender age, some have opined that you dont tell them certain things so that you dont arouse their interest in unfolding that which you are talking about, like s*x, romancing, etc, but we can as well use some languages that will easily pass the message to them without arousing any mixed feelings.

For example, right from when my daughter is 2+ and can understand what is being told her, i have made her to understand that she is a girl and should not be touched or caress anyhow. For example:

1. As a girl, no one has right to ask you to let you see your pant.
2. As a girl, no one has right to touch your chest/breast.
3. As a girl, no one has right to touch your bombom(bottom).
4. As a girl, dont sit on anyone's lap except me and your dad.
5. As a girl, dont stay alone or follow anyone to a place alone.
5. As a girl, dont play with boys alone in a private or an undisclosed place or in a closed door.
6. Dont answer any adult man who address you as his wife, anyone that addresses you like that should be reported.


I thank God, she has been following all these to book.
But how can this be possible? It is by coming down to their level and making them your friends, that is when they can comfortably report any seemingly awkward things that may or wanted to happen to them.
Any parent that is a shouting or aggressive type is only scaring their children away and when they dont find you comfortable enough to relate with, they will fing solace somewhere else, who might likely mislead them, that is even if that someone else is not a pervert who will make absurd use of the opportunity they have on destroying the little ones lives.
May God help us all.

Trading.


can be in a shop, in front of a residential house, campus,(if you have access) banks or mobile shop.

May God be with you and safe delivery in Jesus name.

That's goooooood!

But when the little girl start having fistula issues, dont accuse God, dont say it's God will and don't say it's one of the price to pay as a believer. May God help you.




And sir, a 16 years old girl of yours is older and more mature than a 13 years old girl you married sometimes ago.
Again, its your life, your child and your choice.

I just hope they wont loose this boy due to obesity, haba!, this is too much, they better do something faster befre it is too late.
May God heal him o, because this is indeed a disease.

Is she running a boutique Because that picture i saw look so much like a feminine boutique.

Hhhhmmmmmm,
what exactly does she want to sort out?
To beg him or to concur?
Anyway, what is done is done and cannot be undone again.

I just love this woman, i dont know why, probably because of her level of maturity.

Wonders shall not cease!!!


Now that it worked for them, hope those drivers and conductors will not be resorting to this method each time their err or are lawless.

May God help them o.

slimyem: Person wey nor dey use ATM nko?

account number or that exact hidden place where the money is usually kept.

@op,Yes, some men like you will and dont value women that are disvirgined by them, but we still have some more responsible men who will value, respect and adore the women they disvirgined/deflowered. So, its an individual thing.

"Eepa npa ara e, o loun npaja"
that is what a late colleague of mine did in 2008, he suddenly collapsed during office hour and we rushed him to a nearby hospital after calling on his wife and after wo got to hospital, we the colleagues footed the initial payment that was demanded, after which we asked the wife to go take her hubby's card to withdraw some amount. We were amazed when the wife said she didnt know his PIN number and that he do not even keep his passbook at home, that she didnt even know the whereabout of the passbook and chequebook of her hubby.
Fastforward to 28 days later,he kicked the bucket, without anyone including his wife knowing anything on how they can withdraw his money from his account, till tomorrow, the money is stil there. He left behind four kids:12,9,6 and 2 years old.
We all volunteered to give the kids scholarship, since the wife was not a salary earner, she wasnt earning much.
Apology for this, this my late colleague happened to be the most stingy person i have ever known in my life.
So, @op, i want to believe that its only stingy and uncivilised people that can hide such sensitive information from their spouse.

However, i support Nashville on the fact that its better to disclose it to one's spouse alone, if married and if not, one's mother, because, if its disclosed to more than one person and any atrocity is committed in the account, the culprit may not be easily traced or detected.

Eni to ba ni ika meji, a fi gbgbo se ara e, kii se ikan.
It is a call to wisdom, if you are the type that do not disclose your PIN or account number to your immediate family and you do not have a living will, you are only saving for strangers to enjoy after your demise.
I have not been following she banking trend for a while now, but i remember that in 2003, First bank of Nigeria disclose almost a trillion naira as unclaimed funds, can we see how uncivilised we are now?
May God help us all.

Funny but thought provoking, as in.............em..........

Coincidentally, everyone i have once met either online or offline is my friend but one faithful friend is always there through thick and thin, day and night, everyday, every moment, he has never dissapointed me and that is JESUS CHRIST.
Any other worldly friend will one time or the other dissapoint you.

As far as i'm concerned, it's a two-way traffic, if he comes back feeling very sober of what he had done, with excuses such as........"i never knew what went over or wrong with me", "i discovered within me that i shouldn't have treated you that way", "i'm now a changed person and i have come to back to my senses to make amends", i will give him a second chance, but with a condition that if it happens again, he shoudn't bother to come begging again, because i will not accept.

However, if he comes back with an excuse or reason that if he doesn't come back to me, things will not work out well for him or that im the gateway to his success in life or that he had come to beg so that his light can shine again, then, i wont accept, because it means if not for those reasons, such a guy wouldnt have shown up again.
May God help us all.

Rest in peace to the poor lady.
May her soul rest in peace.



As for parents, this is a big lesson for all of us.

If we cant, as parents confess good tings on our children when they offend us, i wonder what we will confess on strangers when they offends us.
May God help all of us.

I really dont know why people like to use other peoples marriage to judge theirs.
So many advices given by some people are what they can never do and they will advise some other people to do them.
Marriage calls for wisdom and initiative, honesty and trust, tolerance and compromise. Two people who can not trust and not ready to learn how to trust each other are not even suppose to come together as a couple in the first instance and under a normal situation.




"And the two shall become one", says the bible, if only we all understand this statement as far as marriage is concerned, there wont be reasons for this type of question.
May God help all couples.



But there is an exception.........

FUNNY!!!

It is better to go to where your mind is, so that you don't loose in both ways. If you're in church and your mind is not there, you aint going to get any blessing and at the same time, you're going to loose that thing you're thinking about. P

Tobetoe: hahahaha, na wao, u said speedy recovery,pls o does d phallus grows back after been cut

Who knows
Abi what do you want me to say
But sinserely, they showed this man real wickedness.
Only God knows the pain he's undergoing now.

Lol, instant judgement for adultery.
How I wish some men will learn from this.
He has his wife and still running after big boys' girl.
In his next life(if there is),he will learn to contented with his wife and family.

Speedy recovery to him anyway, I hope she makes it and learn from his mistake.