₦airaland Forum

With the way things are going politically in the country now, I'm now convinced that GEJ will contest in 2015 and he will definitely win, because he's still the incumbent president and the power/authority is still there for him to use to have his way.

Another thing that may likely give him an additional pass is if APC pick Buhari as their presidential candidate.

May God help our country o.

So, what is the way out now?

I've always been afraid of policemen, they are dangerous and poisonous.
If you have one policeman as a friend or as a neighbour and you somehow need his/her help in a situation, you are on your own o, because that particular one is the one that will help to make your case complex.

If you sell to them on credit, they won't pay on time or even at all.
If you need their help in getting any document, they will drain your pocket dry.
You have them as tenant, you are in for problem.
They are so used to bribery.
Some are good people among them, but the bad eggs among them far outweigh the good ones.
I'm so happy that the AIG know all these and I hope to see changes in the NPF.
May God help our country and the police force.

Stop putting your hands in your boxers to play with your dick, its irritating and disgusting.

TV01: Are there any valid reasons for cheating?

TV

Who knows? The man might have told her why he's cheating on her, and it might be probably the reason she want to continue living with him, knowing fully well that he's a serial cheater, because in her post, she didn't mention why she want to continue living with him, she only asked how she can continue living with him, despite the fact that she knows that her hubby is a cheater, that was why I asked the question, maybe it was in their agreement,lol.



I smh at some people mindset sha, but I won't say more than that. Each to his/her own.

Chai! See me see omo oko, I never knew it is even a bedroom costume, not to talk of knowing its name, I think I use that cheerleader stuff, I love wearing those skimpy skimpy dresses in the bedroom and it has been yielding results, lol.


@op, is that what cheerleader costume is?

Abeg don't abuse me o, I'm omo oko.

juman: I think you have just one child now, by the time you have more child/children you go relax a bit.

I agree with you!

By the time the op has 2 or 3 or more, no one will tell her to relax.
However, I believe that girls need more protection, but we can't be around them all the time, so, like Uju said, its better to train them up early enough to be able to identify danger zone, dangerous touching and dangerous caring from outsiders.
May God help us all.

Come and see me
I'm a specialist in that area, lol



On a serious note, I heard about the yam too, I even read it in one health magazine sometimes ago, but unfortunately, I don't know the specie of the yam.

I will have to make some enquiries from someone who is from igbo-ora.
Brb.

@op, what are his reasons for cheating?
Do you have kids for him?
Why do you like continuing living with him, sorry for asking, @op, if you don't mind my asking.

@phemi dear, stop working yourself up. Like I said in my first post on this thread, when you get to the bridge, you shall cross it.
Secondly, seek for pre marital counselling, its very important, may be in a church or better still a proffessional one.
Now, get this, marriage is not always a bed of roses, but I can bet it with you that, in marriage, two things are very important:
1. Your mindset, if you have negative mindset concerning marriage, as a man think, so is he, so if you think marriage isn't good, then you may never see anything good in your marriage, so, you need to have positive and bright mindset concerning your marriage.
2. Your seed: in marriage, its what you sow that you are going to reap o. No short cut about it, sow love, respect, interest, etc to your spouse and reap the same. Always treat him the way you will want him to treat you.
Meanwhile, All this my me time, will decrease when you're married, because you won't want your hubby lonely while you are having your "me" time. The same thing goes for kids, you love and adore them when they are dressed up, abi, before yours can also be such adorable, you must have made sacrifices for them. Building marriage and a home requires a lot of sacrifices and compromises.

And remember, the two points above also goes to your inlaws, if you think inlaws are not nice and you carry that mindset into your marriage, you might not see anything good in whatever your inlaws are doing and again, if you don't sow love among your inlaws, you may not reap their love.

In summary..............
Stop working up yourself
Lay a good foundation for your marriage
Go in with good and positive mindset
Have determination that your marriage is going to be successful
Attend pre marital counselling to help you plan and alleviate some of your fears
Make God the pillar of your marriage
Determine to forgive each other in your marriage.

However, if you think you still need more time to sort yourself out before tying the knot, then, do so, to save yourself from future and avoidable regrets.
It is well with you

Onyinyechimara: ^^^^^Madam Callotti...how be?

Marriage is overrated........it seems impossible to get men to commit to me
Heaven knows I ve tried and tried
Even put my life on hold for them at a point
They are always ready to chop punny but when it's time to commit they tell you baby I need more time to get to know you better
But you sure as hell didnt need time to know the way to my undies did you?!?
Anyhow, I ve given up on the marriage thing
Rita Dominic never married and did t die so neither will I
Time for career things
Will adopt pikin while I m at it
And get a dog too....a cute one

God know I tried but this is the deck life played me
Every weekend small small girls in my office will be getting married
Me and my 30 year old ass go siddon look like lucozade
I used to wonder how they get men to propose again
But I don tire sef.....no be lie
I ve spent the last 5 years trying and hoping to get hooked
But never again, it don do
No need to pretend again sef........I free myself from this bondage


I said I d pull a Rita Dominic and this is the right time

Don't give up too soon, its not over until its over.

I want you to examine yourself deeply on this issue, are you sure you haven't been doing something to scare the guys away. What are the excuses given by these guys when they want to leave you, and what are the steps you normally take to make them stay.
However, do not give up and do not generalise, not all men are "chop and run", there are still good men out there who will take their vows religiously. Have a good mindset and mentality about men. Have yourself some self esteem. Develop good and positive approach and set standard for yourself. Also, like someone said, stop looking for love and start waiting for the right person, after you have try as much as possible to make yourself a right partner.

Remember, not how far, but how well.
May God give you the needed wisdom to do all these rightly.
It is well with you. Amen

@op, if you know you don't have what it takes to be the right partner to anyone who might be interested in getting married to you, then, marriage is not compulsory for you. It is better not to marry than to marry and become a bone in the neck of another person.


However, if you know you have what it takes, but haven't seen the right person, then, be patient, the right person, whom God has prepared for you will surely surface and you will forever be glad for waiting.
Remember; he who eat last, eat best.
Shalom

This is indeed sad, may God continue to protect us.
May the souls of the departed rest in peace.


Btw, pls, let's all stop using candle, there is touchlight, even, rechargeable ones.

This news just break me down.
May God console the father.

These two housemates are just playing games on people's intelligence.
They think they're wiser.
Shior........
Whom did they think they are deceiving?
Perverts, shameless, classless and moral-less set of human beings.

IMO, I believe that when you get to the bridge, you shall cross it.

Stop being unnecessarily panic, disturbed, pessimistic, anxious and fearful.

All these your fears will disappear when you taste the sweetness in marriage. I'm not promising you heaven and earth o, but if you prepare yourself and you are determined to make your marriage work, then, you can.

However, if there are still some vital issues to be sorted out between you and your fiance, you can still give yourself more time to be convinced.
Also, never take the service of pre-marriage counsellor for granted. It helps, IMO
Above all, be yourself, know yourself, know your partner and make God the pillar of your marriage.
It is well.

@baby, you're right, no one is solely of one temperament, there is usually one dominant temperament and one or two more minor one(s).
Well, we are learning everyday, but as far as I'm concerned, I still believe in the test.

@op, there is nothing with advantages without disadvantages, nothing with strenghts without weakness.

I, Particularly can't say a pparticular temperament is the best or the worst, but the most important thing is for you to understand both the strenght and the weaknesses of each other and try to complement each other, try to support each other, try to tolerate and understand each other and above all, jointly work together on the weaknesses of each other's temperaments.

For those who don't mind, I will sugest these three books, all by Tim Lahaye

-why you act the way you do
-opposites attract
-spirit-controlled temperaments.
They are all good reads for those who want to get married and also want to understand each other very well in their marriages.
May God help us all.

[quote author=baby_123]These old, aged and discarded personality tests. Tests that are not reliable. It is only Nigerians I know that hold unto these tests. I even first heard of this on NL. [/quote]Baby, for the first time, I'm disagreeing with you. The personality/temperamental tests aint limited to Nigeria only.

The great psychologist, Tim Lahaye, who wrote the book "why you act the way you do" the book that comprehensively describes the 4 temperaments published the first edition in the 90's and he isn't a Nigerian, you know, so, its not only accepted in Nigeria alone, its worldwide and it is also worthwhile to know the temperaments of your prospecting partner, so that, when he/she start to put up some attitude, you will know why.
Thanks.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder!







Come to think of it, how can I ever admit that my child, God's image and likeness isn't good looking enough.

DAMN!

She can breastfeed in the public but with the use of a cover. Exposing one's bosoms in public is not decent enough and also not hygienic enough.
A word is enough.

@ CC, may God help our daughters o, I have only one girl and I've been fervently praying for her and also the need for her to have the Holy Spirit as well as spirit of discernment, too many wolves in sheep's clothe and also the need for everyone to try and be the right and best partner they can be.



There's a family case before me to settle, but, hhhhmmm (story for another day) I tell you, one can't be vigilant enough when marriage is involved, but as you have rightly said, may God help our daughters.

Heeeeeeeee
Madam CC, you no go kill me with laugh.
Again, thank God, I don marry.
Of a real, the list is never ending.

What about

The religious bigots........those who never believe in other people's religion and even in your church denomination, apart from theirs.
Tribal bigots nko........his people from the same tribe is the only real people on earth, others from other tribe are "animals" in his eyes.
Excuse givers nko.........they always give excuses for the right things they suppose to do or have done, but within them, it was intentional.

But my point is still the same, if we are all to look at all these in a man, then, it means everyone will have to have and expect all men to possess the same qualities before they can be considered marriageable.

Me and you, as well as every woman or even, everyone know him/herself very well, we all know what we can stand and what we can not, if a man can possess at least 75% of our required qualities and the remaining 25% qualities are what we think we can live with, then, I think, IMO, we are good to go. I repeat, IF WE CAN LIVE WITH IT. We all know what we can live with, I mean what can bother us and what can not.

I love this write up, because its an eye opener, from it, one can know what he can cope with and what he can't, so, its a great article that has tendency of opening eyes, but one shouldn't live in a fantansy that anyone who can be considered marriagable should be perfect, blameless and angelic.
May God help us all.

@op, other posters have spoken well, if you are closer to the man, advise him to call a meeting involving his family, his wife and children, including a certified lawyer, first of all, settle the conflict among every party involved, and let the family members realise that all is now well between him and his wife and that they should stop humiliating his wife, and as CC said, they might say the wife had prepared ewedu for him, but atleast, he has said his own, also, as others have opined, let his will be written and kept with his lawyer because of the unexpected and above all, the man should learn to stop shutting up his mouth, that is one of the best ways he can regain his respect and headship both from the wife and the children, as well as his family members, because by the time those aprokos are no longer involved in the marriage matters, they will learn to mind their business.
Another thing, the man should try to bury his pride and apologise to his wife for all the humiliation his peeps have subjected her to and the wife should also try and forgive the man, because, this is the time the man needs her most, because of the health issue he has.
May God heal the man and restore peace back to the marriage/home. Amen.
It is well.

I believe the cute girl shall be seen alive and healthy too. I declare the living word of God on her that "no evil shall befall her". She's under the shadow of Almighty God, therefore, she's safe.

Thank God I'm married!
If I haven't married before I saw this, I might not get married at all



Jokes apart, it's eye opening, but we should always remember that...............no perfect person, that is to remind us that we shouldn't expect too much or hope to marry an angel.
May God help us all.


Brb, very busy these days.

Ujujoan: You know the funny thing about growing up was that at every point in my life, we had at least 2 house helps and yet I still did my own share of the work. Back then we had to do everything manually.

House chores were divided equally between us and the help. I remember resenting them back then because I believed I was made to do what should rightly be their job!

In foresight, I can now see that my parents were just trying to raise us better. Living a sheltered life where the kids cannot even do their own laundry is irresponsibility on the parent's part . . IMO!

On the issue of HHs, I have to say it can really be sad sometimes. My friend's 10-year old house help ran away from her house in the middle of the night and the never bothered to find her. She surfaced at one of her relatives house after some days and only then did people get to know that she was missing! They next one they brought (about 15 years of age)was locked up in police cell for not 'respecting' madam . . . After her release, she was sent home. Now they have a boy staying with them one. 7, maybe 8 years old! It just breaks my heart!

If we were in a civilized environment, some of these things could be curtailed. But in a situation where even the police help intimidate under-aged HHs is really really sad!

And you still call such a person your friend, that's where I'm different, there's this old friend of mine who is used to maltreating househelps and when I try to correct her, she usuallly told me to mind my business, she's used to this saying "a kii fowo ra ooyi, ko ma ko ni"(when you use your money to buy something, you must enjoy it) and since she's not ready to take to correction, I reduced our friendship to casual friendship. And funny enough, she's an AP is her church o, but she has had more than 6 househelps, they usually ran away when they could no longer face the heat.


My slogans......treat others the way you want to be treated. No condition is permanent. Whatever you sow, you shall reap.
If all madams and everyone really think about these words, there will be no problem or wickedness from anyone to anyone.
May God help us all.

Nigeria politics=politics of bitterness.

Heeeeeeeeeeee!
May God help us o
We use to call this plant "flower" and I don't know if we are right, but we have it plenty plenty in our compound. I think I need to show my hubby this thread, so that he can agree and support me in uprooting them.

Thanks, @op

[quote author=H.C.F]I'm neither a psychologist nor a mental health expert.But my little knowledge of anxiety disorders tells me your problem is not aspergers syndrome,rather it could be,like someone pointed out,a social anxiety disorder.

If it is SAD,then you can overcome it according to experts.

Try and read books on personality traits, like 'personality plus' by florence littauer,and 'why you act the way you do',i don forget the autor of that one o.lol.

It will then dawn on you that you are not alone,being an introvert. In fact you are very normal and the people you see exhibiting radiance are not necessarily happier than you. ''Never envy the appearance of happiness in anyone,because you dont know their secret griefs!''.

About friends,what you need are quality friends.They may be two or three. Trust me you'l find happiness in such a relationship than being sorrounded by hundreds of parasitic people often referred to as 'friends'.

Lastly,go out of your comfort zone once in a while. Yes,it 'desensitizes' you.Go to parties,dinners religious gatherings,cinemas,alumni meetings etc.In the process,you'l surely make mistakes(socially,i mean) but dont give up. Learn to laugh at yourself,when you make such social blunders knowing that nobody gets good witout making mistakes!....Cheers.[/quote]Why you act the way you do::::::: by Tim Lahaye

And the revenge continues!!!!

Do me, do you, God no vex!

Let's just continue to deceive ourselves with the slogan "ONE NIGERIA"

One nigeria, my foot!

onegig: my bro..you are what you think you are. Let of give you a reference. When obama was contesting for the american presidency, i read and still have a small caption of a newspaper page where a guy said he should just forget about the presidency and concentrate on going for the senate. He even went as far as saying that no black man can win such position in this century. Few months after this assertion by a fellow we all know what happened. I still always have that caption stuck to my wall room as a proof that nothing is impossible and no man is a determinant of another mans destiny . So tell me? Would you allow this people dictate what your life is? Everyone is beautiful in their own little ways.

Thank you, you just nailed it.

@soraya, you are responsible for your life. Prophesy positive things into your life and never accept or agree with any negative things people say about your life, never allow them live your life for you.

I will leave you with this

"Finally, brother, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy; think about such thing.(Phil 4 :

IT IS WELL.