₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Ishilove post=28393122]Nope, my rear end is as flat as an ironing board.[/quote

more like an inverted question mark

Barselonia:
As long As keshi remain eagles coach.....
Nigeria will still remain the same position no matter How Because Na still the Same dull brain we Dey use...
hit like If u think So Or hit share If u disapprove my view

Where is the button for shattap dia......

That is what i want to hit.

Its not retention of our former ranking, FIFA computer is hanging or as they say, its frozen. When they reboot we will find our ranking around 82 or 84.

Nigeria on a free fall in all indices since 1914.

Meanwhile here in Lagos me and my niqqas rob the robbers. Who am I?

Police stopped me not quite 5 minutes ago in front of adekunle police station. I told my driver to drive on. They quickly caught up with us at the traffic light and i wound down and asked him what his issues were he said he was stopping us. I asked him whether my car looked like lagos taxi. I then added that i will put a call to their former DPO and report him. I mentioned both the DPO and the policeman by name. I shut the door and told my driver to move. I love Lagos. The only town wey omo ibo like me fit claim omonile.

Only magas get chopped.....by us.

jahbiz:
As a Fed Security Agent, I will need you in our office to answer some questions. Lol. U must be a German!!! U know what I min.

Officer please send a van down. I wanna come in style. LOL

These kids came late to school and they have been asked to kneel down at the point they were caught. That explains the knapsacks they are carrying. No biggie

MarvellousGod:
This has got to be the funniest comment I have read so far

Guy, how did you buy a gun?

I am not kidding bro, its legit. I paid for a license and a gun and it was delivered. Actually the license entitles me to a pump action but i had this awka things we used in d days in uni so i have that in my car. I will take delivery of the pump action when i travel upper week to meet my supplier at owerri. I will take d gun to the villa and return with it to Lag after xmas.

Yeske2:
Had this experience around Oshodi close to Bolade bus stop years back. There was traffic and a lady with a male companion were in a private car when suddenly i saw a guy dashed across to the car and actually pulled out her gold earrings from her ears giving her wounds and this happened within seconds. I fear Oshodi today.

I was driving behind a lady along mushin road when this kinda thing happened to her and it was early evening say around 5pm. I was positioning to knock the guy down but the lady was not giving me the driving room. She was still in shock when I overtook her and shouted out sorry ooo madam.

domido:
My own experience happened in Mushin. I was comin back from work early dis year. There was dis young lady driving a siena bus car. She left her phone on the driver's seat and wound down her glass. This guy just came from nowhere and took d fone. The girl didn't even realise even when they were shouting "ole",ole,ole and chasing d guy not until she was told that her fone has been stolen, mehn, u need to see display from d fine babe dat day.

They have tried this on me at least twice but I have always instinctively hit at the hand and my phones dropped back in the car. The last time was so funny. Having learnt their tricks, I noticed the guy reviewing my car and signalled to his cohort to distract me. At d same time I moved my phones to a compartment just above the pedal areas. The decoy guy came to my side and started speaking gibberish as usual while his counterpart was gripping for the phones he so certainly saw in less than a minute ago. I knew the game well, so I reached out for my jack knife flipped it and as the guy was bringing his head up and out because he actually leaned into my car, I struck and the knife grazed him. He just shouted and disappeared. I wound up and carried on as if nothing happened. These days I drive with my short gun and this Hausa sword that looks like a walking stick. I am a late night crawler. As I type I just left my office to my drinking pad while waiting for traffic to thin out before I head out to my mainland abode. I work around VI and hang out at Oniru most nights. God punish their papa.

datguru:
And you call this your encounter? Listen let me share briefly, an experience with aro baggers in RSUST ( rivers state university of science and technology)

On a cool evening after lectures, I followed the back gate with my friends and we were going towards azikiwe. Just before the gate, we saw a nigga sitting in the field and we all knew he is a nigga because odin is working in him.

Nigga: aboy ! Aboy!! Aboy!!!

We all kept silent as if we didn't hear

Nigga: wey you! Aboy!!!

We then decided to stop to avoid problem.

Nigga: three of una make una come, infact make only that middle guy come ( that's me)

I was a fresher and the other guys were in year 3 so I think he had a target.

Nigga: na you abi, so na you!!

I was shivering and wondering what he meant.

Me: senior boy wetin I do now, I just follow my friends dey come back from lecture.

Nigga: shut up! I dey talk you dey talk, you want make I start to dey cut you? So na you! You follow for one of those guys wey fall our man for mile 2, no worry, you go join am today.

I was shivering very bad and my heart was pounding heavily to the extent I was stammering.

Me: senior boy no be me oo, I just come new for this place. Abeg no be me.

Nigga: you say wetin? Your own don be! No worry, you go see, shey na you be their chief strike! Na me personally go comot your eye. Na you ! You think say I no go recognise you ?

I almost pee on my clothes, then he dragged me down to where some other niggas were sitting, by this time my friends have took to their heels.

Nigga: Aro, see the manchin here! ( Talking to the other guys)

Aro: aboy wida, who goes!

I was quite, I just felt like the ground should open and swallow me. Then he comes close to me.

Aro: wetin you hold there?

Me: na just my phone and wallet

He comes closer and collects them after searching me thoroughly.

Aro: start from here dey run dey go, make you no look back. If you mumu, we go just waste you here. *slaps my head* oya dey run.

Me: I took to my heels and ran as fast as my legs could carry me.


Even as I'm typing this thing, I'm still shivering. No be small thing that day

See your life? If I type anything here you go wash me say make I come out make u re arrange my dentition. Meanwhile na one small boy obtain you like that and you tell am thank you join. Thank God for my Cally orientation. For Unical na boys like u we dey chop raw in d good ole days. You for dey buy me lunch and dinner till I graduate so.

Thank God sha say u loyal LOL

Abduletudaye:
Morning guys. Right now am in Lekki and awaiting to be interview by the CEO of this coy. While waiting for several minutes to be intervied, I actually took time to study the applicants around me hence this topic. I hope this correlates but here are my findings..

1. The Two Jolly Friends: Alright, here's a typical example of me and my friend. We went together for this interview and since we knew each other outside this room, we kept on gisting about how the job is gonna be, how ugly this girl was and so on.

2. The Mute One: I'm sure most people would agree with me when I say that there must be this one person who refuses to utter a single word while waiting to be called for an interview. He/She keeps quiet unless, they are called upon or asked a question.

3. The Noise Makers: These ones are found always. They will make noise no matter the situation. Talking about stuff that's important and the ones which are not important. Funny enough, the noise makers actually end up being the cute ladies and guys. Don't really know why. But presently, that is what I have noticed.

4. The Over Sabi: Yes! This ones eh.. Ok sha. This type of applicants will just be asking questions like Soyinka. The very minute they flop, they will just wanna enter the ground. I have seen typical examples this morning. After a staff gave us (applicants) a salient briefing, someone still rose his/her hand to ask a question which already had an answer in the staffs briefing.

5. The Enigma: Hehehehe... I'm not being biased ooo but this particular one here refers to me. You see, I prefer doing 20% of everything . When its time to talk, I talk. When its time to STFU, I do exactly that and when its time to flirt , I do that aswelll.

So this are the 5 types of applicants you find in a waiting room to be interviewed..

Wish me luck oo..

Have a nice day..

I wish you the very best of luck because you need it. Go back to item No. 4 (over sabi)....you said someone rose his hands. The correct tense is raised.

Again all the best.

Reminds me about this book i read way back on Don Quixote. I am also reminded of how the Zulus with their bows and arrows tried to stop the whites with their long range guns. Finally my ancestors in Arochukwu waged a war against the British and that was the last we heard of Ibina Ukpabi.....the Long Juju

Play back to today....female hunters are going to fight men believed to be better armed than the Nigeria Army.

Someone is either trying to make a mockery of our leadership or some people have never told us any truth about anything. Those women should already be arrested for attempted suicide

bappahman:
---It means Those Naira Notes In your
Wallet,Pockets, or in Your Bank Account has Move
some steps Closer to being Mere Pieces of Paper.
---It means You need more Money to Care for your
Daily needs, You Need More of those Pieces of
Papers to Meet Ends Need.
--it Means the STANDARDS for You to Cross the
line of Poverty (and be Categorized as Average
living) are Further RAISED. So You better try to
earn more of those Currency if Not you will be
Engulfed by the Tide of the Poverty Line.
-- It means the Number of people Living Below a
Dollar per Day will Increase..because Now even if
a a person Survives By N168 you still fall Under
that Category.
-- It means You Most hold more Naira for You to
Buy That KPOMO, GARRI, BREAD, RICE, MAIZE,
And if you STILL DIDNT GET IT
--It means that Plate Of AKPU, POUNDED YAM,
JELLOF RICE, OR GARRI with EGUSI SOUP that You
always BUY from MAMA PUT will Increase..
So Take NOTE and Fasten Your Belts.

Talking about foodstuff will amala, ewedu and gbegiri remain static?

In another news, it will foster higher inflation which will spiral. Cost of transportation will go up, ditto house rents and utility. Babes go also raise their bar for services rendered. All these , no thanks to rabid old geezers embezzling us blind in the name of politics while we are here throwing tantrums at each other in Nairaland.

EzePromoe:
[color=#DC143C]I'm not surprised. The whiteman have regard for every tiny thing in nature and their mode of education is based on specialization.[/color]

Now i know why you are taking a degree in madness science.

What did u just post?

The facts are playing out. There will be an insurrection and a military take over.

Let me start gradual withdrawal of my money so i can be packing them in a carton in my house. No matter what happens, Money is King and without cash irrespective of your networth, a homeless agbero will insult u. I will see you guys when i come back from the Bank.

monemsis:
. Too dry

How about you make it wet, dumbo. The thunder that will fire you is buying fuel at Ojota. Look at this maggot oo. Where u see finger take type rejoinder for me. May the leprosy of 10 fingers eat those chopsticks that you are calling fingers.

Respond to me again and see how your life will bend. Oponu

Pity. Which of the squares? Find the square root of the peters

literarymathy:
If you fall into the category, all you need do is to tell us a story
The story is of how you did it, the trying moments, the bad moments, the good ones, how life has been after you gained it, your life then in school, etc etc. As much as you can and tell us the story with the aim to inspire.

Bros if students follow my stride they may never graduate. I made my 2.1 coming to class from parties, coming to write tests after sailing the seas, riding the waves and shooting the rapids. I went to the library only once and spent the time admiring babes. I pretended to read in my room but it was always a hot bed of gists. When i was done, i made my 2.1 and walked away.

Please do not try the above in your uni except you are as restless as i was and still am

tochman:
Na only markets and schools dem sabi invade. Bunch of cowards. Doth they know the way to NDA?

Haba Bros. Why are you giving these guys evil ideas? Don't you want Nigerian Army to graduate the current regular trainees. If BH enters the Academy, all those kids in that school will become canon fodder. Don't even think that anything will help them.

The news will be if for any day we hear that they did not strike. For now, striking, cutting and slicing of people's throat is the in thing, the fad actually.

chimoz:
Any new person to the Nike community will easily mistaken this building is a four star hotel and would look with utmost doubt wheb he is finally told that it belongs to senator. Gilbert Nnaji the senator representing Enugu east senatorial district.
The building which sits comfortably on a large hectare of land is situated just opposite the Nike lake hotel Enugu. A rough estimate of the worth of the mansion can run in Billions.
Senator Gilbert Nnaji is unarguably one of the nominal senators in Nigeria, A stammerer who hardly makes any contribution in the senate floor and can easily come off as a misrepresentative instead of a representative served as a member of the house of rep for 8 years before going to the senate. Aside this building, he also has another mansion at New haven Enugu and is a lover of cars. He drives many luxury cars including Toyota prado 2013 model, BMW sedan bullet proof, cadillac Escalade 2012 model, toyota 4runner 2012 model amongst others.

The question remains, can a honest senator afford all this with the money they make legally.

N:B the pictures were taken from outside and from a long distance hence it cant be very clear.

So what is your point? How did you estimate the worth of the house? What makes him nominal?When did stammering become a hindrance to positive contributions, Why did your people vote for him if you felt so strongly about him

Are aware that all the vehicles you mentioned below could be in the garage of one small boy with a successful 419 bid? Just on deal?

My friend go and find a way of making your own money and stop being jealous

chiben2:
poverty at his peak

Eroded english at a plateau stage

mrgaga:
man so u still inside this bizness even after WHO declared naija ebola free

The guy's money is stuck. He took a bank loan to purchase sanitizers in the hope that Nigeria is a ready market. He did not do his feasibility studies well. Nigerians, the whole world over, are scared of death the most. So they will do most things to avoid the scourge that you have now come to treat.

Oga, abeg go find a bridge loan to repay your gbese

[quote author=nd07 post=28293256][/quote]Is Adenuga not running a family business?

What about Dele Fajemirokun (a scion of Henry Fajemirokun)

@ OP, your list is very un-researched.

rattlesnake:
Are they married?
Sinners

Pharisee....

Serves Nigerian ladies better. A set of people that are never contented with theirs and their own. Every second KIm did this, Kim did that. Hey, did you read what Kim said on her way to Spain? etc etc. Its like if you do not know an up to date activity of Kim kardashian, you are backward and not up to date. She never even begin abuse una sef.

adepiero:
[size=20]PLEASE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LETS VOTE FOR TOSYNE2MUCH! FOR MR NAIRALAND. God bless you as you do so, thanks [/size]

What is his agenda for the one year he wants to be Mr. NairaLand. How many pet projects is he arranging. if don't have answers to these questions, i will curse you if you post this rubbish again

Begonia:
You all must be sick in the head!

My doctor thought so too.....

But i am still out here and doing better than you both

The guy no fvck am well sef. Shediot. And only 30 minutes for that matter sef and she is saying several rounds. Was the man cum.ming per second per second

jennykadry:
I saw this video and have only one thing to say.....Hand that maid over to me for 5 minutes,...just five minutes


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzvGWnpP9KQ

In 5 minutes she could embarrass you, left just alone between the two of you. You will be surprised how she beats you up. She might be possessed u know?

A friend shared this with me over beer yesterday night. I immediately knew what to do with her if she worked for me. I will tie her hands and legs drive her to 3MB at about past midnight when the ilaje fishermen are no longer paddling the waters. I will lower her into the salty water, go home and report to the police that she has deserted. I will put a price tag on her head.