krattoss:
that's one funny fact peeps fail to understand... anybody can lie to protect his or her interest best known to him or her.

Whether he lied or not it's not the case. He clearly showed that it is a force he can't stop. He may not be a christian but he is clearly not an atheist.

Babacele:
hmmm. When you see a very large chunk of a people where his young male population prefers to do drug n gangsterism where there are free schools,tuition, library n free funds to actualize your dreams; where folks love leaders that steal them people blind; male folks maltreating women; the people are highly discriminatory; are bellicose and prays that a democratically chosen leader makes grave mistakes because he beat their clueless candidate; build more churches and mosques instead of schools; where with abundant solar, land, coal,water ,petrol ,mineral, and human resources but it remains criminally poor n wages war against itself becoming a burden on itself and others, then you would understand the frustration and the disappointment of the black Preacher. Despite all these ,there is hope.

The church did a lot to educate the black race. The Europeans govt came to Africa to explore and exploit resource. The church followed to educate the black people through its mission work. The church has done a lot for the liberation of human race. The abundance of churches is not the reason we are layback. We only cover up our act with any loop holes we can find. Our politicians exploit loop holes in the constitution to their advantage. The same way they exploit religious sentiment to stay relevant....You know why it is still working because the people are generally layback. Sentiment is enough to win our heart. We they don't win using religion, the use tribe or social class differences... we truely have a long way to go.

Silkmoth33:
U are happy about this?
U r despicable.

If they worship in open space where rain and sun is beating on their open head, you guys will run here curse their leaders for using them. If the opt for poor structures, you will still complain that they have poor thinking. Now they have express themselves by doing what please them you are still complaining of waste of money. Why can't you guys just leave people to live their lives in peace.

If anyone ever want to experience REAL LOVE he/she must endeavour to eliminate the following traits as much as possible. The more of these traits the less of real love anyone will be able to give or attract - they all have an INVERSE/INDIRECT relationship with real love

1. LIES: This is the biggest barrier to Real love. It's the opposite of love, hatred is not. It's hard to love someone you lie to. The more you lie the less of love you have. When you lie you are protecting your own interest and not the other person's interest. The individual will notice it and will reciprocate - that is how the game begins. If you really want Real Love stop the LIES (including Deception, Insincerity and Secrecy).

2. FEARS: Next to Lies is Fear. People who have fear can hardly exhibit true love. Love bring confidence and trust which make things stay positive. The moment fear gain access, distrust follows, puncture your confidence and deflate your trust. Negativity begins to gain ground and that's how problems start - Your love is choked up. If you have a relationship that is constantly putting fears in you rather than confidence it's a big warning signal. You may want to vacate the relationship completely or resolve the problem of your fears before you take a step further.

3. WEAKNESS: This is another big hurdle to scale in your quest for real love. Love is established on actions beyond what you say or promise to do. Your promise must be backed with actions. Now action does come by itself. You need capacity (physical, mental, social, financial) to act right and big. The stronger you become the better you become at expressing your love. You need to deal with your frailties, weaknesses, limitations, incapacitation etc to be a better lover

4. IGNORANCE: knowledge they say is power. Knowledge empower us to act right and better. Maya Angelo said "I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Basic lesson: no one can rise above the level of his/her knowledge. Ignorance, however is not an excuse - no one will spare you because you chose not to seek wisdom. Learn more about love and how people who have succeeded made it as you go along on that journey (whether you are about to start a relationship or you are in one already). Loving truthfully is a skill you need to acquire.

5. NEEDINESS: Love will demand a lot from you. Anyone coming into it with a lot of dependent or parasitic attitude is likely to make a big mess of the whole transaction. Love is sweeter between two independent people or people without any form of complex (superior or inferior) who need the other person for survival or to feel important.

6. INDISCIPLINE: This is another trait bedeviling people's love life today. I see lots of people who can't hold themselves - people with no grip on their emotions, anger, sex drive etc. No boundaries, No rules - anything goes. Self control is a big plus to love. If you don't have it, you need to get it. If your partner does not have it you need to insist he/she gets it. Self control is just inevitable to have a peaceful life

7. SELFISHNESS: This is a big spike that punctures couples loving mood. When things has to be done you own way. When only your idea is logical. When you put your interest above that of every other person. Watch it! The path you are walking does not lead to love.

8. INDIVIDUALITY: This is a variant of selfishness. But this talks more about your ability to cooperate and team up with others. You must be able to see the big picture - how the whole thing is connected and serving one purpose. How your own life is connected to the life of your children and spouse, then to that of your immediate and extended families and then to the society at large. So many people desert their marriages today over little altercation with their spouses. In the end, its the children that takes the hit and also, it creates a dent to the social fabric.

SELF - PROTECTION: A relationship where couple are not down to earth with each other is going nowhere on the journey of love. Until couple learn how to become vulnerable to each other and depend on the partner to have ones back, they will keep missing it rather than hitting it. Love will accept you with your past (sins and wrongdoings), weaknesses... Whoever is ashamed about these areas of your life is not really made for you. I am not canvassing for reckless disclosure anyway.

DULLNESS: As said earlier, love is founded on actions. Love makes you keep acting. If your imaginations are dull and shut down you need to wake it up. Love can't survive where things are dull and passive. All woman love guys who are Romantic - who can put their imaginations to work to bring out special feelings and moment of love. Likewise, men love their ladies to take the initiative atimes. Married men will tell you they don't like the situation where they will be the one to always initiate s3x. The lady too should make the first move atimes. Moreso, they should be actively involved.

aaronson:
I can only say Atheists assume you don't know and seeking to know and they prolly busy to teach you. I think I can spend few minutes to lecture you because am 100% inclined to science which 100% declines religion.

1- which scientific law do you want proven. I take the gravitational law for example, I just jumped up and gravity pulled me back down so I just tested that. Now if i try climbing a long stair case, I would get tired before getting to the last floor upstairs why? Because I'm going against the law of gravity. So what law do you want me test?

2- Yes science can tell us exact size, shape, requirement, date etc. Why is that?

Before a theory is been postulated it undergoes series of hypothesis to get facts straight, while undergoing testing, experiments are also being done to compare and contrast variables in order to get accurate data and when that is done, we get to come out with straight facts other wise known as theory. Now when you study the theory you get to know facts such as size, shapes, duration, usage, importance etc.

Moreso many people who claim to be pro-scientist are just echoing some other people's claims or discoveries as it were. I am waiting for a day they themselves will add to the body of knowledge.

They know science because they had faith in science - they are open and excited by scientific knowledge. Everything known in science is taught to them. No personal discoveries. It's so and I believe because science says so.

When I jump up and I didn't stay up I am being pulled down by gravitational force...How did know that it's gravitational force - because science told me that it's gravitational force. chai that's being gullible.

Why don't the student of science using their inquisitive mind question what there teach teaches them. Saying Teacher stop teaching me nonsense. What do you mean by gravitational force. Yea I agree that when I jump up I don't stay up I come down. When I climb up I get tired. That is correct but I don't agree with you about the gravitational force. Why must it be gravitational pull? Teacher you know what? Let me form my own school of thought and make my own findings to add to the argument of why I don't stay up when I jump up.

If you don't question what you are being told but rather rubber stamp then you are lazy thinker. You guilty of gullibility, brain washing, bandwagonism, stereotyping and faith in something (in science) - all which are anti-science and anti-intellectual.

My guy first and foremost question everything that science has told you (inquisitive mind)

2. Form your own school of thought (hypothesize)

3. Do your research and reach a closing - testing your theory


Until you do that you are not a VOICE but an ECHO (just repeating/spreading other people's voice).

Stop the lazy thinking bro!!!

aaronson:
I can only say Atheists assume you don't know and seeking to know and they prolly busy to teach you. I think I can spend few minutes to lecture you because am 100% inclined to science which 100% declines religion.

1- which scientific law do you want proven. I take the gravitational law for example, I just jumped up and gravity pulled me back down so I just tested that. Now if i try climbing a long stair case, I would get tired before getting to the last floor upstairs why? Because I'm going against the law of gravity. So what law do you want me test?

2- Yes science can tell us exact size, shape, requirement, date etc. Why is that?

Before a theory is been postulated it undergoes series of hypothesis to get facts straight, while undergoing testing, experiments are also being done to compare and contrast variables in order to get accurate data and when that is done, we get to come out with straight facts other wise known as theory. Now when you study the theory you get to know facts such as size, shapes, duration, usage, importance etc.

I like you logic but that does not answer my question.

My challenge for you and the other guys is how did you prove that what science told you about the earth and rest of the bodies in the space? Did you prove it yourself or you just believed it (Faith in science - Believing without proving).

You proved the ones within your reach and just believed the ones outside your reach. If you don't prove the ones outside your reach don't you think science may have lied to you. After all if they do there is no way you can confirm whether it's true or not - that's been gullible men.

Harmony10:
This thread is not to disapprove of anyone. I can't be the judge of how people have chosen to live their lives. However, I read from and have spoken to quite a few Non-Christians (I mean Atheist, Scientist/Intellectuals, Agnostic...) who have problem with Christianity saying that it is ANTI-SCIENCETIC, ANTI-INTELLECTUAL.... How did Christianity come about all its claims? How did Christians believe all the trash propagated in the Bible and their pastors/leaders if they are not gullible, ignorant, unscientific, lazy thinkers....? Conclusion, christianity is a FRAUD.

Now I won't try to defend CHRISTIANITY. No matter how hard I try some people will not agree with me because they won't UNDERSTAND it. But I have a Challenge for all Atheist (@Aaronson, @SonofLucifer, @EyeHateGod and @SeunOsewa himself), Agnostic, Scientist, Intellectuals etc who feel Christians are Gullible and do not use their brains because rather than using scientific methods to reach conclusion they recourse to FAITH. Christians can't verify their Assertions hence they live by Faith (lazy way of thinking).

Let me define Faith according to Internet dico:

1. complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

2. strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof.

The highlight of the definitions is trust or confidence in something you can't proof.

Now my challenge to all my friends on the other sides. I asked @EyehateGod a question which he refused to answer. He deflected the question till he ran out of the thread... Please I am a Christian and am so proud of my beliefs because you on the other side have not proven to me that you are better thinkers. My question is

1. How many Scientific laws were you able to prove by yourself. You proved some in the Lab and You believed the Rest

2. Science told you the size of the moon, sun and other bodies in the galaxy. Science told you how the earth came to existence, how long it has being in existence and the distance between the earth and other bodies in space. Please how did you verify by yourself that what science said is true. Did you go to the moon by yourself to verify. You had Faith in science that it can not lie to you that is why you believed it. You believed science because it has done small things for you that have captured you heart. So if it crowd you with its jargons and make bigger and more audacious claims, you simply believe rather than make your own findings.

So my people you sef are living and surviving in this life by Faith - Faith in Science.

All the self acclaimed Atheist and Scientist on nairaland are not bold enough for this challenge. I guess there is no contest...

This thread is not to disapprove of anyone. I can't be the judge of how people have chosen to live their lives. However, I read from and have spoken to quite a few Non-Christians (I mean Atheist, Scientist/Intellectuals, Agnostic...) who have problem with Christianity saying that it is ANTI-SCIENCETIC, ANTI-INTELLECTUAL.... How did Christianity come about all its claims? How did Christians believe all the trash propagated in the Bible and their pastors/leaders if they are not gullible, ignorant, unscientific, lazy thinkers....? Conclusion, christianity is a FRAUD.

Now I won't try to defend CHRISTIANITY. No matter how hard I try some people will not agree with me because they won't UNDERSTAND it. But I have a Challenge for all Atheist (@Aaronson, @SonofLucifer, @EyeHateGod and @SeunOsewa himself), Agnostic, Scientist, Intellectuals etc who feel Christians are Gullible and do not use their brains because rather than using scientific methods to reach conclusion they recourse to FAITH. Christians can't verify their Assertions hence they live by Faith (lazy way of thinking).

Let me define Faith according to Internet dico:

1. complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

2. strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof.

The highlight of the definitions is trust or confidence in something you can't proof.

Now my challenge to all my friends on the other sides. I asked @EyehateGod a question which he refused to answer. He deflected the question till he ran out of the thread... Please I am a Christian and am so proud of my beliefs because you on the other side have not proven to me that you are better thinkers. My question is

1. How many Scientific laws were you able to prove by yourself. You proved some in the Lab and You believed the Rest

2. Science told you the size of the moon, sun and other bodies in the galaxy. Science told you how the earth came to existence, how long it has being in existence and the distance between the earth and other bodies in space. Please how did you verify by yourself that what science said is true. Did you go to the moon by yourself to verify. You had Faith in science that it can not lie to you that is why you believed it. You believed science because it has done small things for you that have captured you heart. So if it crowd you with its jargons and make bigger and more audacious claims, you simply believe rather than make your own findings.

So my people you sef are living and surviving in this life by Faith - Faith in Science.

brandonobi:
beta pikin

Please na help me call those guys to come answer the question here.

orunto27:
They must know CHRIST (Anobi Isa) for He is"The Faith".

And without FAITH it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

What this tell us is that Knowledge come by FAITH in something.

We know God because we believe and that gave us a Chance to Know him and grow in Our Knowledge.

People who have Science Knowledge have Faith in Science. The first believed in Science and they got that chance to know science and grow in the knowledge of science.

The challenge with those having problem with the IDEA about God is that they don't gave the minimum requirement (FAITH/BELIEVE) to know.

YOU CANT KNOW OR UNDERSTAND what you don't BELIEVE IN

This thread is not to disapprove of anyone. I can't be the judge of how people have chosen to live their lives. However, I read from and have spoken to quite a few Non-Christians (I mean Atheist, Scientist/Intellectuals, Agnostic...) who have problem with Christianity because it is ANTI-SCIENCETIC, ANTI-INTELLECTUAL.... How did Christianity come about all its claims? How did Christians believe all the trash propagated in the Bible and their pastors/leaders if they are not gullible, ignorant, unscientific, lazy thinkers....? Conclusion, christianity is a FRAUD.

Now I won't try to defend CHRISTIANITY. No matter how hard I try some people will not agree with me because they won't UNDERSTAND it. But I have a Challenge for all Atheist (@Aaronson, @SonofLucifer, @EyeHateGod and @SeunOsewa himself), Agnostic, Scientist, Intellectuals etc who feel Christians are Gullible and do not use their brains because rather than using scientific methods to reach conclusion they recourse to FAITH. Christians can't verify their Assertions hence they live by Faith (lazy way of thinking).

Let me define Faith according to Internet dico:

1. complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

2. strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof.

The highlight of the definitions is trust or confidence in something you can't proof.

Now my challenge to all my friends on the other sides. I asked @EyehateGod a question which he refused to answer. He deflected the question till he ran out of the thread... Please I am a Christian and am so proud of my beliefs because you on the other side have not proven to me that you are better thinkers. My question is

1. How many Scientific laws were you able to prove by yourself. You proved some in the Lab and You believed the Rest

2. Science told you the size of the moon, sun and other bodies in the galaxy. Science told you how the earth came to existence, how long it has being in existence and the distance between the earth and other bodies in space. Please how did you verify by yourself that what science said is true. Did you go to the moon by yourself to verify. You had Faith in science that it can not lie to you that is why you believed it. You believed science because it has done small things for you that have captured you heart. So if it crowd you with its jargons and make bigger and more audacious claims, you simply believe rather than make your own findings.

So my people you sef are living and surviving in this life by Faith - Faith in Science.

Vick4rill:
my problem with this fellow, is that he always results to insults to potrayed his points. harmony10 thank you very much for this thread. it goes a long way to show that there are people who understand the point am trying to make. you see, i dont care if atheist agreed with our points or not, what matters is that as far as we are able to convince and save that sister or brother, who is intending yoking themselves in "chains" by marrying an atheist, then the mission is accomplished.

Well done bro...You have done well. It's good to help each make sound decision. And there is no need to be apologetic concerning ones believe. God will help everyone find Love.

EyeHateGod:

Like i said u have no idea how Science/scientific method works pls when u learn all this things then we can talk i wount blame u our educational system is f**cked up

Guy you are dodging and running. Scientist argue with facts and points not deflect issues. There is a question you refuse to answer. I would others who feel Christians are unscientific to help you out. How did you verify the size the moon yourself if not that you exercised faith and belief in what the scientist found out and pass down to you.

EyeHateGod:

U have little understanding on this things and that is ur problem u never try to find out about ur girls idealogy all u think about is U U U and U that's selfishness bro

You taking me on. Bring it on. I don't mind. But I have asked you questions you refused to answer. Talking about selfishness... you just made a hasty conclusion which is not scientific in any way. You can make such conclusion in logic except you have sufficient info as premises.

Now let me give you more info. The second month I saw her strong personality I felt it was a caution sign. I contacted and told her we need to do an expose of what is all about us as individuals. If you care to see it, I can snap our chat to you.

She said we don't have to behave like we are doing exams. She does not like an uptite relationship. She like some form of spontaneity. I said it's not bad what she said but I am seeing things we should talk about. Now at this point we had we had conflict - who idea are we going to pick. We ended up doing her wish because instead of talking we were fighting. So I agreed let me learn what you style will bring. For the next six month we ran the relationship the way she wanted. No talking, No agreement. The spontaneity she voted for didn't help us to agree on anything or get to know each other better. Everything was assumed. When I saw that if we continued like that it's going to be her relationship alone and not our relationship came brought out my own again and became more forceful. She got angry, we had arguments and we parted never to try something like that again. She didn't even realize how much sacrifice I was making to sustain us for the next 6months. So forget about the idea of being selfish. I was over selfless. If she was christian lady I won't do more than that two months because I will use points she can relate with. But for her she can't even grasp my points. So do I keep tolerating someone who derail discussion into fight and scuttle efforts to make things work. Bros it's a Risky Life

EyeHateGod:
Am sorry to say this the Rest of the thing u posted just shows how ignorant u are On Science! or what Atheism is Really about

Bro I will agree with you if you can prove to me that you didn't need faith to believe in science. How did you as a person agree to size of the moon or the earth as posited by science. Did you go to the space to measure them yourself so you can agree with them that it is true.

EyeHateGod:

Am sorry Atheist Don't belong to Any faith and it's Quite amazing u don't know this and claim to date a Moralist? why don't i find out more about Her idealogy?

Do you know what is called Self-Denial. Watch out bro you may be in that Webb!!! Some people are shaping your reasoning without you knowing. That is Faith/Belief bro. If you start another Faith you will try to bring in people orelse you will be a lone ranger or social outcast. By admitting that you belong to a group means there is a yardstick for spotting your type. That's Faith bro. It's belief system. It's doesn't have to be done the christian way that believe in an Invisible God

EyeHateGod:
She is acting accordingly to Nature and besides when did Atheist, Agnostic or Moralist becomes a Faith?

It is bro. We all belong to one faith or the other. Faith is Shared belief system that is passed down to us. There is a template for people in each group that shapes their reasoning, perspective, priority etc that make most people in each group sound or act alike. Please not the following:


First and Foremost, I am a christian and my responsibility as demanded by my Lord and Saviour is to Love people regardless of their belief system. So my focus is usually on friendship and not judging how correctly or not people's lifestyle are. Just as I won't listen to any stranger (whether Atheist, Moralist/Free moral agents, Agnostic, Scientist etc) with grandstanding views about how poor and illogical my faith is, I don't expect people from other believe system to jump on whatever I tell them about my faith. The truth here is no one can beat experience. So if I keep preaching I am just wasting my time - the best I can get is vain argument that leads to no where. But maybe I can try to influence (not trying to change the person) the person's disposition through friendship.

Secondly, I am a Core Christians and I know what we mean when we say Someone is a Christian. Christians means Christ-Like: People who live their lives following christ foot-print. Before you jump on this statement, let me quickly say that I have listened to a lot of people who have problem with christianity (esp the Atheist, Moralist and Scientist) and a common denominator in their argument is that Religious people don't have a mind of their own blablabla!!! Most times, my question is usually, "Do we have anybody in this life who is not a product of somebody else?" I don't think my friends from the other side really consider this argument very well before you using it against Christians and other devoted people. The point is we all came into this world empty - with no knowledge, understanding, facts or points to back up our arguments, actions and lifestyle. Everything we know and use are handed to us by people before us and we too will try to influence people behind us to buy into our perspective to life. So whether we all admit it or not, we all practice a believe system/faith or the other. We are social beings and tend to align into groups based on reasoning and perspective to life which didn't come naturally or automatically (it was learnt from other people). So as Christians for instance we learn in church using the bible, other believe systems learn through other mediums - movies/music, beer parlour, school etc. It's a process we call SOCIALIZATION in SOCIOLOGY. Sociology identify five major agents of Socialization to be Family, School, Peer Group, Mass media and Religious Centres. So whether we admit or not, whether our faith requires being devoted or not we all derived how we think, feel and act from these five institution. So next time when you say Christians are gullible, unscientific, illogical, puppets or zombies etc I will like you to prove to me how you are not. How you believed all you are told about science without making personal verification. Of cos you will say you did lab test. My question is how many of these test did you carry out yourself? Did you go to the moon or the sun to determine if the sizes as posited by science is actually true. You just did some test and believe the rest - so everyone is a believer in something, case closed. Christians believe in Christ, Muslims in Mohammed, Atheist in No God, Scientist in Science....and so on. So I prefer not to argue because everyone has chosen his/her path according to what he/she is comfortable with. People who cross into other faith to find love only bring in some level of discomfort and conflict into their lives. Not that it can not work at all at all but the chances are very slim, near zero.

Furthermore, many non Christians interprets christian person as that religious and fanatic person around them. If we go by the definition of being Christ-like, the question you would like to ask is based on the records in the bible was christ religious, fanatic or judgmental...the ans is capital No. He had serious problems with fanatism, religiosity, legalism with people of his days (esp the Pharisees, Sadducees and Scribes - the people teaching about God in his day). That is where the word Hypocrites came from. People who say but don't Do. He focuses his attention on What People Do and Not what they say. Anybody can claim to be a christian. So people go to church to socialize or get business. Some journalist for to get reports some to chase girls etc. Christ says by their Fruits you will know them. So we have Nominal and Real Christians or Christians by Mouth and by Heart. You will hardly find a Real Christians in Love with people who does not buy into his/her faith.

My thread is to buttress @Vick4rill's thread on why No Christians Should Consider Marrying an Atheist. Maybe Atheist like @Aaronson, @HopefulLandlord, @SonofLucifer, @EyeHateGod and others see the logic in the thread if I give my own personal experience. 

My Personal Experience: 
I once Loved a Lady who happened was not really an Atheist or Agnostics. Said she is a Moralist. She didn't like my Faith as a Christian. We were together for eight months. One month into our introduction and 3months to our planned wedding the whole  relationship crashed because it can't just work except in very slim and rare occasion (and in that rare occasion the signs will show from the beginning that you guys are meant to be). I saw the problem second months into our relationship and wanted us to talk about it there and then to know if to stop or still give it a shot. At that point we had a bottle neck cos she can't see what I was seeing and was not interested in talking about it. In short I was forced by her (inadvertently though) to continue with the relationship for another six months because we said we were in love (which is all we needed). I believe in Love (which my Bible defined as God). When Love is at play everything else give way even Rules, Order, Judgment /Justice or Revenge. But the question is were we really in Love? I don't think so. Because of our foundation we don't have the same perspective to Love basically because we don't have the same training about life or experiences or exposure. 

See the problem: I define Love based on how I have been taught from home and the church: I corinthians 13:4-7: Love endures, is Kind, does not envy, is not proud, does not seek his own good, is not easily provoked, does act rudely etc... 
To her Love and Sensuality are synonymous - something close to s3x.
For me Love is broader & expected to reflect in how I interact with not only my immediate family but also total strangers. So I can talk about Love without including S3x. But for her on that subject, the first thing that comes to mind is S3x. This is quite understandable because she watch movies a lot and that is image she sees. So on that note we had problem flowing. 

The problem I saw about us in the second month was that she is a strong and opionated person. Meaning she is more like a choleric and will likely be goal oriented and dominating. Now this is not a problem because it's a personality type. However, we are two people living by different beliefs and principles. If conflict of interest arises in the relationship and we want to resolve it whose principles are we going to go by. I won't be able to veto decision or I will be seen as autocratic & inconsiderate. Yet I have someone who wants to win always. That made me take a deep thought and I had to ask her how she feels about DIVORCE. First she reacted negatively and angrily like why am I asking about Divorce? That are we married, do we need to talk about Divorce and that point? She said she does not have opinion as of then. But I insisted I just needed to know her definition. She said it and I was like no now I can't do this with you...
Her Definition - Divorce is a legal solution to a bad deal of marriage. 
To her Divorce is a Solution but to me it's a problem. Even though it may be the only option left and in the best interest of the parties involved, it does not change the fact that it is a problem. 
I wentt further to ask what a bad marriage bad to her means. Does that  mean a man cheating on her or not providing for her or someone who is abusive etc? She was like she does know. She is not in the future hence she can not tell what bad marriage can be. 

I looked at those statements and I was like this is a Set up really. I am going to get involved with someone who does not believe in my lifestyles and who have the higher power (bargaining power). I will do everything to keep the relationship and she doesn't really care if it crashes. If things are not looking very favorable she can leave at the slightest provocation. If we don't agree with each other on how to train our kids, I better agree with her or else she will dump my ass over flimsy excuses such as IRRECONCILABLE  DIFFERENCES. 

I looked at it further, it easy for her to enter and leave a relationship because of her believe. She wants to be Happy. So if you guys are not agreeing with each other hence you get into quarrel mode not because you stopped loving each other but because you got to settle a matter, she stopped being happy and immediately threatens the relationship. To her there is nothing about Love that talks about Endurances, Joy (Happiness from within not on circumstances) and Responsibility to your spouse, children and society at large. To her Love must make you happy and indulge you. If it does not do that to you walk away regardless of who you leaving behind. That's Selfishness. 

Mind you we liked each other and did many wonderful stuffs for each other. I liked her firm qualities, eye for quality and cheerful personality. But unfortunately this things can't stand when pressure of live comes. We can't even agree from the outset that this is the result and values we are seeking in the relationship. Marriage is a STRATEGIC DECISION and every discrete person knows that decision on Strategic alliances should not be taken lightly. It is just wise to limit the risk of failing. Is not about the individuals per se but about getting the most out of life. 

I can give several personal scenario that shows how impracticable it is to have a fulfilled marriage where the parties are sticking to their believes. That marriage will be endure and not enjoyed. It will crate lots of tension, conflicts, complications, inconvenience etc. I will give Ten Reason from my personal experience in my next thread.

aaronson:
I gave unconditional love the moment I made it known that I love everybody from all religion faith worldwide but your God loves only christians and instructed you guys to never have nothing to do with Satan so me and your God, who is best at giving unconditional love?

@Aaroson do you really know what Unconditional Love means. It's deeper than what you can think. I don't think any human is capable of unconditional Love. It's not about saying you accommodate everybody views and opinion. Let me explain this idea using this scenario: Can you bring in someone into your home who refuses to play by your rules and not eject him/her. I don't think any human can cope with that...But that is we behave to God. He created us and give us instructions to live by. Yet we choose our own way and he is really tolerating us until we breathe our last or till the expiration of this age. A time long enough for us to change of mind. Please Unconditional Love is beyond human beings understanding and capacity.

This thread is part 2 of a post I did earlier (titled: All you need to know about Love). The question that I wish to address in this thread says: Is Conditional Love (a trade of value as basis for affection) appropriate?

I will simply answer yes. Conditional Love is appropriate and very normal. Now let me state this before I go deep that there are four main angles to love (unconditional, conditional, platonic and romantic Love). The angle we will show to people will depend on the structure of our relationship with them. So everybody practice conditional love depending on the structure of our relationship with others at that material time. Your parents, sibling, friends and even God almighty all practice conditional love.


Only Kids won't realize that Love is a BUSINESS like a BUSINESS of CONTRACT or a BUSINESS of PARTNERSHIP where all hands must be on deck towards achieving a common goal. You dare not come to the table CAP-IN-HAND (empty handed). If you do you must be a Gold DIGGER. The question is Do you know what you've got? Have you Harnessed what you've got? Do the other person recognize and appreciate what you've got? There have to be a meeting point for love to happen. Please my dear if you desire someone so desperately but he/she can't see any value in what you've got, please leave the person & go look for someone at your level and enjoy your life in peace.

There is high incidence heartbreaks and broken relationship today because people who are doing relationship are being CALCULATIVE instead of being STRATEGIC. When a person is calculative, the attention is usually on what the other person have. WHAT THE OTHER HAVE TAKES PRIORITY OVER WHO THE PERSON IS. But strategic people focus first & foremost on WHO THE PERSON IS. That is the first contribution from the other person that must come to the table. Calculative will dump you and desert you when things are down for you. Reason is THEY DONT BELIEVE IN YOU. THEY BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU HAVE. Strategic people BELIEVE IN YOU and will never leave you in times of need because they know you can Re-PRODUCE WHAT YOU HAD.

So it's our job to determine whether the other person we are dealing with is CALCULATIVE or STRATEGIC. It's our responsibility to protect our heart from heartbreaks. We need to scrutinize people before they come into our lives. If people break our heartheart and desert us in times of need or trouble or by lying to us, cheating on us or being abusive, it's not their fault but ours. If we exercise care we will have a wind of what they are capable of - whether they are calculating or strategising. If they are calculating they won't involve you. It's all about them. What they intend to do is inside them and them alone. But if they are strategising they will involve you and carry you along. This is one secret no one should ever lose sight of. So please don't cry fowl when people show their true colour. Can a leopard change its skin? Why didn't you do your home? Why didn't you verify the person before you allowed into your heart? Why did you believe everything you were told without checking whether it's true or false? Why didn't you find out the motives behind what the person says or do. At any time T, we will take the bulk of the blame. The Bucks stop on our table. We can't blame it on the Concept of Love (saying Love is a Scam etc) nor on the people who handed the concept of Love over to us. We can't even blame the person who jilted or dumped us cos we have the right to PROTECT OURSELVES. When I say protect yourself, I don't mean any other thing than Just be CAREFUL and PRAYERFUL. Co's when you are dealing with people it's only care and prayers that work ooo.

Peace!!!

lilyqueen:
This is a lovely post

Nice one

Great you find it great. Watch out for the continuation...

Greatzeus:
What are you,love expert

Expert ke....Love transaction is like Driving. There is no Expert anywhere.

blueto:
Good.

Nigeria won 6 Golds, 5 Silver and 2 Bronze medals and finished 22 in the medals table under GEJ. Lets see if they will be able to equate or surpass the feats under Buhari.

How did they fare in the real games comparing GEJ and PMB. I think for PMB it was just 1 bronze. How about GEJ?

DeLioncourt:
this is so long... i go read am later

Try!!!

First and foremost this thread is likely going to be long. Please exercise some patience in reading thru. I am sure you will find it educative if not interesting.

Secondly, this thread is written in reaction to Toks2008 thread on Conditional/Unconditional Love. I would like to address two salients issues from the thread.

1. Is Conditional Love appropriate
2. Why can't we (human beings) love the way God does (unconditionally).

Let me start my answer from the second issue...My answer is simply: Please don't be a learner. We are not God, hence it near impossible to love like God. We can only aspire to love like God (unconditionally). The more more we aspire to love like that less we need the other person to have a good love life and the more we become better at loving people. God's kind of Love (unconditional love) is the standard/epitome for love. Hence it is good to have aspiration to achieve that. The aspiration and sheer effort at improving will make us better lovers. But in reality, several factors will keep limiting our ability to love unconditionally. Some of which includes:

1. Capacity: Human beings are limited in capacity (such as knowledge, power etc). Unlike God who is All-knowing, Almighty and Everywhere (even in the heart of the person He is dealing with). Let's not even go far. The Love between earthly Father and His Child is a pure case of unconditional love - Clearly one sided. The reason is not far fetch, the child(baby) have no capacity to give in return for the father's love. All the father can get is more bills and heighten responsibility. Mind you the father is not complaining because he doesn't need the child's contribution. He doesn't need sex, money, companionship etc from the child. If he need all these he knows where to get.

Weakness: Second factor is our weakness as human beings. Many people crash with their love under so much pains. That is why a Loving mother who carried her baby in the womb for 9months can take desert her baby and take to their heels in the face of pain and disaster. Only strong people knows how to love because love is more of Expression than Intention. A Physically Stronger or Financially more bouyant person will seem more loving than the weaker counter-part simply Real Love is denomination in ACTIONS and not WORDS. WHEN YOU SAY I LOVE YOU, DO YOU BACK IT UP WITH ACTIONS. If not my dear you need to talkless and do more. You need to work on your weakness and improve your capacity. The more capacity you have, the stronger you become and better you become at loving people. If anyone desert you in time of pain or you trouble please don't hold it against. They are weak and weak people cant express true love. A mother who desert her child instead of defending the child's life in the hazard really wish she can act other. But then she can't go through the pain to defend the child's life. She needs to be stronger to be able to that. That is why the story of Jesus dying on the cross will resonate very with Love any time anyday. Sacrifice is the highest show of Love and the highest sacrifice you can pay is to lay down your life. And you think it's easy to pay the price. Go and find out who are truely in Love and not those players who only know what to say or do or have the means to make you believe that they Love you. Now question for you who is castigating others for not showing unconditional love - Can you die for the person you claim you love or even fight hoodlums to defend your wife/gf in the face of sexual harassment. If your answer is No, please focus on yourself and leave the other person alone. Go build your strength. It applies to ladies too. Make yourself strong for the man you will choose to love.

3. Maturity: Our level of knowledge is also a big factor to consider. What we know affects how we think and that influence how we act. So before cry fowl about your love transaction with the other person, have you considered the person's level of maturity and understanding of lives issues. Until you do this you will always set yourself up for heartbreak. And you can't blame, you will have to take responsibility for what happens to you.

Experience: What people have been through is also a big factor. If we relate with people without paying attention to what they have been through in this life then we get the shocker of our life. What people have experienced will shape their future and that experience will always interfer with their reasoning and actions today. This is the reason we should never take disappoints to heart. No matter how painful it is, it's better to let it go. If we hold on to hurts, we will use those negative emotions from one person to destroy a possibly sweet relationship with another person who could have brougt us joy and help us forget the hurts. Only someone who has the capacity of God will be able to help us in this kind of situation.

Perspective to Life: This is another big factor wrecking love life today. People have problems today because they are wrongly matched with their partner. They don't have similar definition of love nor share similar priority. Hence there is no spark between them. Nothing to fire up there love when it's cold and nose diving.

Having said this, it is noble to aspire to unconditional love. This is because the science of improvement encourages that we benchmark our action/practice against a standard. The more we work towards that standard, the more we improve. However, that should be a person resolve. We can't force our personal decision on others. If others have not gotten to that point in their live where they need to practice unconditional please respect there decision and move on until you find someone who have the same aspirations as you.

To be continued....

GoodSonOfGod:


https://www.thecable.ng/adesina-buhari-doesnt-have-to-visit-agatu-boko-haram-victims?_e_pi_=7%2CPAGE_ID10%2C4065678214

I am so pissed with our attitude to human life in this nation. So much loss of life this has become part and parcel of us. That is why stuffs like the agatu killing will occur and d people in govt won't feel the heat. I think our media, civil organization and legislature needs to do more.

Bobbysmart6:
What will you do?

Forget it!!!

This boy is the real deal.

For a boy of his age and size to be leading giants around town.

You better fear him and not necessarily the guys he is leading.

TPAND:
Despite having 3 Moses in the team. Pharoah refused to let my people go.

Wonder what will happen in Egypt.

Don't worry Egypt will never let go except with a strong and mighty hand. Also they also usu prefer it happens on their soil.

So Egpyt here we come

femi4:
So, we conceded on the 93rd min because siasia didn't play mind game

I taya o!!!

Fans will be analyzing the game like say them be God.

Ednut1 also saying if Amodu had coached us yesterday he would win for a fact.

Even Pep (the real Pep not the Pep of Africa) will not give such a 100% assurance. With all the mind game that Jose Mou can wield pls wh@ became of the same team he used in winning EPL last season.

Seun360:
He couldn't even play mind games, was busy running his mouth that he's gonna beat Egypt home and away. He better stick with his usual age grade teams. We all know 85% the players we use for age grade compo are over aged players.

Are u blaming him for systemic issue?

You can as well blame him for the corruption in the country.

ednut1:
stop making excuses abeg he failed to beat an ordinary Guinea. He shud stick with age grade teams

This is not excuses. These are factors that make people fail or pass. Oliseh (the Pep Guadiola of Africa) who started from the scratch and who know how to tell people what to do will not dear continue. He ran for his dear career because he still want to keep the bragging right that he didn't lose or fail.

Anyway my coach will succeed against all odds. And if he he does not qualify us, nothing spoil. He will go back to U-23 and enjoy himself at the Olympics.

He will Live to try another day. Let those who are running keep running - they will never have a chance to win any trophy.

ednut1:
not an excuse abeg. Amodu has rescued Nigeria more dan twice in situations lik dis. If not dat he hypertensive hv we hv taken over

Mr Ednut1 we meet here again. I know you have personal beef siasia. You have chosen not to see any good thing about what he is doing.

Maybe I can help stir up a little believe in him. Even though we didnt win or get the desired, a lot of people enjoyed the way we played. That is with a team he never had chance to play any competitive match prior to this game. Every time he coaches our national team there is always this hunger, commitment, urgency, appeal for focus and discipline in the team.

Unlike most other coaches where players hold the nation ransom because there is over reliance on them. He is so bold that he can let go of any player who is feeling bigger than the team. If that has been the attitude national team, we have by now a team that highly committed, professional and disciplined by now. There will a lot of inflows in out team such that only the best will remain. It seems this backfired the last time because he called off Vincent bluff. But the good thing is that Dele deputizing Vincent was not as up to scratch to Vincent and that incident exposed him. That was the time we started shopping for capable replacement for vincent.

Siasia usu perform well against all odds when he has good time to prepare his team. At the last AFCON U-23 tourney, his mum was kidnapped; Clubs didn't release his best legs because the tourney was not recognised by FIFA, The home-based too hardly stayed in camp because the league was closing and clubs need their players (he had to stand is ground before he could get a handful of players - Sokari was shut out the team in the process), NFF owed him and the players. Several challenges. Yet he was focused on the job, organised his team, started slowly but improved as they progressed, dumped the host country and brought back the trophy.

If there is any man for the Super Eagles, Siasia is the man. I pray he get lucky and qualify so that people like you can be easy on him. Since only his qualification will earn him pass mark.