₦airaland Forum

And to keep the records straight - in my 1st post, I said something like the thread is meant only for those in the KPMG recruitment race. I disqualified myself from the thread as I am not in the recruitment process . But I can be of help by getting information for anyone who needs it. I am sorry once again for being naughty.

Tokhino baba - Once again I wish you and others the best of success in the interview.
Teekay - seems you have closed your mind to the fact that I am trying to pull people down. I have apologized and said I was just trying to be naughty. All that said and done, you do not need to keep whining. I am not ready to say anything on that again, as Tokhino says, what matters is that you guys get the jobs of your dream. I have been working in IT and Telecoms sector for about 5 years but I love to learn new things and read wide, I also have friends and relatives in virtually all sectors and I make sure to get facts- besides the Internet is there for research. I believe that there are a lot of opportunities but people are not informed. I pray that Nigerian youths will embrace the power of information and not allow the kind of rot in our educational system to overwhelm us. Our future is in our hands and our destinies belong to us. I am very impressed with this thread, I can see that we have a lot of fun loving and intelligent Nairalanders. Peace out all!

Congrats man! Just make sure you do very well in the UK especially with the fact that you seem to be a bit old. Don't waste old age education to get bad result o. The sacrifice of studying with old-age should be equated with a very good result.

@ Tokhino - I understand you very well. But what if they ask you to tell them what you know about the company, as in its history and all that?
But on the whole, interviews with organizations like KPMG PS is mostly tailored towards ascertaining your confidence level and composure. The fact that you passed the test and the first stage shows you are sharp. Just be yourself and be open minded. Even if someone that did the same interview last week gives u all the tips; you might be surprised it won't work. I also hope you do not have a close relative especially a sibling already working there, that may automatically halt your interview process.
Best of luck everybody.

Teekays and others -
See below from bbc website - I have extracted the Anderson KPMG part, but you can read the whole story from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/1880776.stm
AA metamorphosed to KPMG professional Services in Nigeria, SA and Japan. Today, KPMG PS Nigeria is not only into tax and auditing but business consulting, e.t.c. The same office AA in Nigeria was using in Ikoyi is the same place KPMG PS uses till today.

"The curious power that Andersen exercised over actual and would-be staff had been its greatest strength.
But when trying to stitch together a global deal with KPMG earlier this year, it proved a serious handicap.
Reluctant to play along with what seemed to be a centrally agreed stitch-up with what they considered a less prestigious firm, individual Andersen offices drifted instead into deals with other big accounting firms, leaving KPMG with Andersen marriages in South Africa, Japan and Nigeria alone."

I am sure Soludo has good motives but did not follow good project management methodologies.
If a project manager was involved in this re denomination process - he would have done a proper stakeholder analysis and identified that the sponsor should have been the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. If the president signed the charter to start the project, he would not come out later to stop it. Soludo is smart, but we have to start using best practices in order to avoid occurrences like this.

I am sorry if I sent the wrong signal - I am not that kind of person. Maybe I just wanted to start a controversy Believe me, I love developing people and am really patient.
But those saying that KPMG was not former Arthur Anderson - you do not need to shoot me down and remain wrong too. You can do your research and you will note I am saying the truth. There was a KPMG that is strictly an Auditing firm but the former Arthur Anderson changed to KPMG Professional service that is now what is popularly known as KPMG. So, the company is actually KPMG professional Services. Best of luck to you all!

The Lying Dutchman or whatever your name is - not flying dutchman obviously.
Are we in Nollywood, is this a form of fiction or something? I am not ready to castigate you 'cos if I do - I fit misyarn. When God said that marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled, he perfectly knew what he was doing. Our fore fathers also believed in that methodology even though they were not privy to bibles and other literatures then. Nowadays in the name of civilization and freedom, we have decided to live like animals doing things without looking at the consequences. I am not a pretender and I know that it is not easy to prevent pre-marital sex - but some people still do and are the better for it. And if you cannot, why not do what others do - prevention which is subjective.
Some people are saying that the girl should not have allowed him to have unprotected sex with her and then allow abortion - A yoruba proverb says that he who has not been to war thinks he is a strong man. We all know how sugar coated God made a man's mouth and the fact that he has dominion. God did not design this dominion to be used in selfish and irresponsible ways but we have descended so low to the level we were not meant to be.
My advice to you - ask God for help to heal you and your girlfriend. Pray that the guilt will leave you - yes it can, God forgives people if they are ready to forgive themselves. And then make a commitment to do things the God's way and not make such mistakes again. Whether you will make up with her or not will be clear in no time. Cheers.

The thread is meant only for those that are in the recruitment process of KPMG, one of the world's top consulting company - formerly called Arthur Andersson before the mess
If you don't know what KPMG is - that means you do not need to bother yourself with this thread - especially if you are in 400 Level and above.Ma
Maybe you are not the kind they are looking for!

Congrats man - may God give you all the patience and resources required to enjoy your new status.

Why did Menka or Sylvia put her number?

Celtel Call Center - If u wish to develop a career in customer care and u are a people person, u can take the job. But dont forget that you will be doing a lot of talking with customers and it can be monotonous. If u have the plan of traveling later for MSc or MBA, it is a great job cos u have a lot of time and have some days off when u do night. Also u will be able to write professional exams easily - Project Management exams are hot cakes now. U can also move from Call Center after a year or so to other competitive departments - this happens a lot as u have a better chance to get another job within Celtel than an outsider.
For the bank job - Note that ur time is not yours at all as with any bank job. If u are lucky enough, you will be posted to HQ or be given a good role in a branch. I have seen guys who after 4 years in a bank, the best they have done is bulk teller! If u want to do professional exams and all that, u might find it hard.

All the same, please take the case to God and allow his peace to lead u.
Cheers

NB: Find out if Celtel is offering u a permanent position or contract - very important and could make ur decision for u. The number used to call u is 08021900000 not 08029000000. But u cannot call the number back.

@ Poster:
Let me do it the poetic way -
Different people, different stroke
Man is a complex being
Most times, he knows not what he wants
Sometimes, he complains his world is empty and needs constant presence
And at times, he needs his space
When he sees his babe everyday, he grows tired of her
And when she is scarce like gold, his feelings grow cold

My Bro,
I understand how you feel, but before you make the final decision, please talk to her and express your fears, worries and anger. Be open for once, men don't really want to be seen as weak, but expressing what u feel is not weakness. What makes you think she is also happy not seeing you always? I don't know your age, but if you are at a level where what you want is a serious relationship - you need to talk to her. if this does not work out, then go ahead and break up with her but not hurriedly on the phone. Or do u have an ultimatum for carrying out this act? Are you under pressure? Take care man!

Well, it is her 3rd time in the house , I just hope she performs well to show the men folk how to do things right!
Congrats mam!

@ Zabie

How old are you?
That will make me know what to tell you.

@ those replying her
Cars, baffs, perfs, good kisser, good sex - be careful with the kind of advise you give - we might be dealing with a minor here , lol

Maybe the girl thinks they are going out.
Maybe the guy is just playing her.
Maybe he has not even taken her home.
Maybe a lot of other things ,

I am really laughing hard.
But truly, no matter how much a guy is a not a 'gift person' - it is hard not to give something, even if it is a card to d one u claim to love in 2 years.
Na wa o! My summation is the guy is not going out with the girl - he is just using her.

Do u want to start spamming

There are many things wrong with the average Nigerian mind. I salute those that have been able to transcend the limiting thinking of the average mind - those who do not subscribe sentimentally to tribal and religious affiliation.
I also salute those who have proven the ignoramus wrong about courses studied in the Universities. As far as I am concerned; until we are able to develop Mathematics and Physics, we will not be able to move on to great technological heights. The Engineering degrees studied in Nigeria will continue to be crap until we get the basics right - The foundation!
I did BSc Mathematics and I had the same notion with Zebra until my 300 Level. I dedicated the rest of my stay on campus to promoting the good Mathematics can do to students and the society and the results are there to see now. If I had been as informed from the beginning; it would have been good for me but I am very happy today that those after me know better now and are coming out with great grades while working in very good places.
I am also a testimony 'cos I work as an Engineer in a Telecoms company in a field that is very scarce to get human resources. The kind of achievements you make after school is dependent on you and your drive; not on your degree.

This thread is confusing - Do u mean GSM Technicians?
To my understanding, GSM Egineers are guys who understand different components and protocol layers of the GSM architecture like BSS, Core, GPRS, Transmissmion, etc. They are guys who work in Alcaltel, Ericsson and the Networks. I am not being sarcastic, but saying the right thing. Enjoy!

Na wa o. never a dull moment on nairaland.

The Promise and Toofan,

Some questions guys, and please anwer them fairly -
Why did MTN and Glo launched Happy Hour?
Why did MTN and Glo decided to make customer care call free after so long?
Why did they both reduce their on net call and on net SMS?
One answer - Celtel
Both networks are actually reaping the seed of the happy hour promo now. It is not rocket science to note that more stress is being expended on their switches and other infrastructures and that is making normal day calls to have problems. Celtel under their previous names have been the best when it comes to satisfying customer complaints; this is not about to stop just now. Celtel is not ready to be reactionary like the others, they really want to take their time to bring out incentives that will be more relevant than midnight calls.
Concerning free SMS, someone already said the truth - 12 free SMS were supposed to end in Sept 2006, this was d idea from the start, but u know we all like free things and believe me, this can be sent to other networks unlike some other free SMS we know about. When Celtel came, they decided it is not good to just cut it and so reduced it to 6. One thing I am so sure of is that a lot of things will be happening very soon and loyal customers will have a reason to smile. Concerning new technologies, the first 3G video call and 3G GPRS was done on Celtel network with trials in Lagos, Abuja and Port-Harcourt.
And presently, Celtel is focused on rapid expansion and by March 2007 seeks to cover all the areas they have not been before. Also, GPRS is presently enabled in Lagos, Ibadan, Porthacourt, Abuja, Calabar, Uyo, Ikot, Asaba, Benin, e.tc as opposed to the former claim that it is only in few places. By mid-2007, almot every place in the country will have GPRS coverage as part of the ongoing aggressive roll-out. Note that Celtel staff are currently on a no-leave basis just to make sure the network catches up especially in rollout.
How do I know all these? Yes I work with the company, but I am not in PR or Customer care so these views are not the company's stand on these matters but an honest assessment of the present situation. I can assure all Celtel subscribers that our own Happy Hour will not have to be in the night. He who laughs last laughs longer.

Working smart is about developing yourself to the point where your employer is afraid he might lose you. I noticed that most people qualify for jobs where specialised jobs are not required but once they give some specification; they fizzle out. Each time I get calls from friends looking for good hands, I scratch my brain so much before getting appropriate CVs. For example, someone called me 2 days ago to ask for .Net developers, till now I dont have an answer for them (I mean a good developer) because the best guy I had just got a job in my office (A Telco) through my recommendation.
So, strategy is the game o, learn and learn and learn and prepare. Make yourself very marketable and see the wonders that follow.

I have quite some experience, thrice beaten

1. I was inside a bus one day in July 2004 and there was this guy sitting beside me. At a point I felt he was so restless and he got down one bust stop before mine. When I got down, I checked and my phone was nowhere to be found.
2. Late 2004, I closed late one day from work and it was as if they were waiting for me to pass. I was robbed by three guys and my initial reaction was to fight back but when I saw the steel, I quenched.
3. Just last month at a friend's wedding, inside a church, I was excited to see friends from long ago; lo and behold the phone was lifted clean from me. I knew immediately but who I go arrest? Painfully the phone is a P910i, so you can feel my agony. That phone was like heaven for me 'cos I use it for a lotta things.

Another method they use is to pretend as if you wronged them, like they step on your toes and claim that you were the one that stepped on them. They will want to fight you and in the course, remove your phone, simple as ABC. God help us in Lagos but the truth is there a lotta jobless young men around and until they are engaged this will continue.

Three Gbosas!
Gbosa! Gbosa!! Gbosa!!!
I went for a friend's wedding in Ile-Ife on Saturday and I was telling my friend immediately we entered the serene environment of the monumental masterpiece called Great Ife how I always feel high anytime I enter the campus. I have always wanted to attend great Ife since my days in school of science Ile-Ife; though my dad wanted me to attend UI borinnnnnnnnngggggggg.
I vividly remember my first night in Awo hall (96/96 session) and I heard dogs, goats and cows doing their thingy at around 12 midnight! I asked a guy in my room if they allow animals in the halls and he almost laughed his head out while he explained the aromatic tendencies of Awo guys. I spent just a session in Awo (in the sane part - Annex) but I was still exposed to a lot of their aromatic displays; the height of it is the competition between Blk 2 and 3 when someone will come out and announce - Block 3 e jade, e je ka bu iya ara wa o! madness.
I really enjoyed that school and the training received is helping me immensely today. Its not about the academics, it transcends that sphere, its about the feeling, the environment, the people, the pride and a lot of things one cannot describe. In any place I go or work, I always see Ife guys behaving very differently and excelling above their peers. We also think faster and get things done,
I do not want to talk too much, else other schools go burn with jealousy

Na wa for this forum,
The guy was asking for ways of toasting a girl, not methods for luring her into bed, haba!

I won't comment on the Zeus thing, 'because everyman has freedom of speech.

Simple. Once you are sure the relationship is moving nowhere reasonable but doomed; I believe that the only reasonable thing to do is WALK AWAY. It is not that easy especially when sex and other intimate encounters are involved and there is the human nature that keeps hoping that things will change.
But my advice is that before you are exploited to the level where you lose all your integrity and self-worth, save the remaining pride you have and look elsewhere for love. Please look well the next time and stop using the wrong things to judge who the right person is. Beauty and Money are just minor attributes, character and godliness is very important. Cheers.

A website that will really help you -

www.estockswatch.com

This is really a big surprise. This is the first time I am seeing so many birthday mates!

obiechina , chison, elbaron , Pinacle , ohloomeday , 4real , tayo yusuf , dieudonne , SCATTA-UNA , CHAMPAIGNE , luci , Busayomi , dafidi003, mukina2