₦airaland Forum

Between a married couple, they are a blessing. "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate." - Psa 127:3-5

It is encouraging to see that there is some effort toward forgiveness and reconciliation because there's to be no divorce for any reason. "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - Matt 19:6

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"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" - Eph 5:21-25

"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." - Col 3:19

May GOD bless all who read.

No human being of himself / herself is perfect, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of GOD;” - Rom 3:23, only GOD is perfect.

Tell them both to pray, read the word of GOD together if possible and just forgive and forget and try and move on together. What prohibits people from "breaking the ice" in strife, which ought not be so, is pride.
"Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom." -Pro_13:10

"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." - Eph 4:32

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Eph 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” - 2 Timothy 3:16-17

"Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost." - 2 Pet 1:20-21

@otokx, "Let GOD be magnified"

Believe it or not, there are consequences - “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” - Hebrews 13:4

@Orikinla, - Amen and Amen!!!

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"From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD'S name is to be praised." - Psa 113:3

"Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable." - Psa 145:3

"For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?" - 1 Pet 4:17-18

A humble exhortation to be mindful of, which is truth.

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." - 1 Pet 3:1-4

I'm sad to hear about your situation. First, "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." - Phil 4:6-7 ("be careful" = be anxious, for nothing). Second, yes, in love and patience, candidly sit with him and talk with him. You are to love each other unconditionally. He should not be intimate with you when you are on your monthly. Speak to him.

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"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word," That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. "- Ephesians 5:21-33

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. " - Colossians 3:18-20

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." - 1 Peter 3:1-4

"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. " - Matthew 19:6

@op,

there is to be no divorce for any reason. Husbands are to love their wives unconditionally and vice verse. Tell you friend to "watch and pray lest ye enter into temptation". Pray for the strength and grace to love his wife unconditionally, do nice things for her, "woo" her. A refusal to do so may be centered around pride? (GOD knows all things). "Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom." - Prov 13:10

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"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." - Proverbs 18:22

"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word," That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. "- Ephesians 5:21-33

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. " - Colossians 3:18-20

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." - 1 Peter 3:1-4

"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. " - Matthew 19:6

"For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. " [putting away is divorce, The LORD hates it] - Malachi 2:16 (putting away = divorce)

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." - Hebrews 13:4

"But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away." - Proverbs 6: 32-33

1 Corinthians 7
"[b]Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?[/b]"

Proverbs 5:17-19
"Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her bosoms satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love."

"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." - Phil 4:6-7 (be careful = be anxious, for nothing).
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"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." - Matt 6:33

Humbly, pay her what she is due, pray and find someone else. Give it to GOD, cut your losses and move on.

"But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers. Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?" - 1 Cor 6:6-7

So please,
"If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." - Rom 12:18

"Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:" - Heb 12:14

^^^"But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain. A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject; Knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself." - Tit 3:9-11

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” - 2 Timothy 3:16-17

"For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost." - 2 Pet 1:21

"The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times." - Psalm 12:6

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***“But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall Give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified,and By thy words thou shalt be condemned. ” - Matt 12:36-37 ***

Someone who is truly born of GOD is capable of falling into sin because he or she still lives in a body that is capable of sin when one takes one's eyes off the Lord JESUS CHRIST, which is a reason why The Lord says "Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." - Matt 26:41.  However, a true child of GOD by HIS grace does not go on and on in sin as he/she would find it repugnant, and would be disturbed, and by GOD's mercy and grace, beseech The Lord JESUS CHRIST to continue to strengthen one (Phil 4:13).  

Paul, under the inspiration of the HOLY SPIRIT, testifies - "I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:  But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" - Rom 7:21-24.

This is also evidenced by David, a son, servant and prophet of GOD falling into grievous sin  -
"For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me." - Psa 51:3-5

GOD chastens HIS own in faithfulness and righteousness, that they don't go on in sin. -
"For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.  If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?" - Heb 12:6-9

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"What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.  Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?" - Rom 6:15-16

Verses like this, as well as many others in the holy word of GOD are parabolic in nature and illustrative of Spiritual things, though at the time, before The Lord JESUS CHRIST came to fulfill the law, they were to be undertaken literally.  The Law is The Law, which is a shadow of things (Col 2:16, Heb 10:1).  How does it take away from the core message of the gospel of salvation from the righteous wrath of GOD for sin on mankind through The Lord JESUS CHRIST, The only Savior, which is this:

“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of GOD;” - Rom 3:23

“For the wages of sin [is] death; but the gift of GOD [is] eternal life through JESUS CHRIST our Lord.”  - Rom 6:23  

“Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.” - Acts 4:12

“So then faith [cometh] by hearing, and hearing by the word of GOD.” - Rom 10:17

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"As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.  Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness. But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen" - 2 Pet 3:16-18

Every human that has ever existed on this planet from Adam on down is a sinner - “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of GOD;” - Rom 3:23, "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:" - Rom 3:10, but for the righteousness of GOD imputed to those that are justified in The Lord JESUS CHRIST, GOD, by GOD's mercy and grace. “For the wages of sin [is] death; but the gift of GOD [is] eternal life through JESUS CHRIST our Lord.” - Rom 6:23

"Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works, Saying, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin." - Rom 4:6-8

The word of GOD is truth, no prophecy therein has failed - "For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost." - 2 Pet 1:21

Therefore, anyone who faithfully declares the word of GOD, in truth (particularly when one is truly saved / justified, and is indwelt by GOD, The HOLY SPIRIT, and thus truly authorized and commissioned /commanded to do so), one is bearing true witness based on the word of GOD. - Luke 19:13, 2 Tim 4:5, etc
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"And I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See thou do it not: I am thy fellowservant, and of thy brethren that have the testimony of Jesus: worship God: for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy." - Rev 19:10

@chicago,

when speaking about HIS Eternal Excellent Majesty, JEHOVAH / YAHWEH, one must speak very humbly, reverently and in fear because "God is greatly to be feared in the assembly of the saints, and to be had in reverence of all them that are about him." - Psa_89:7, "For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one." - 1 John 5:7

I believe that when one worships The Holy FATHER in the Name of The Lord JESUS CHRIST, The SON of GOD, The "Almighty" (Rev 1:7-, via The HOLY SPIRIT Who indwells, one worships GOD in HIS entirety, WHO is One - "But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. - John 4:23, because there is "One Lord, one faith, one baptism," - Eph 4:5

Command to worship The Lord JESUS CHRIST, "For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily." - Col_2:9
"Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; forget also thine own people, and thy father's house; So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him." - Psa 45:10-11
"And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh." - Matt 2:11
"And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him." - Matt 28:9; (Matt 8:2 , Matt 9:18, Matt 14:33, Matt 15:25, Matt 28:17, Mark 5:6 , Mark 15:19, Luke 24:52, John 9:38, Rev 5:14)

since anyone who is truly saved is indwelt by GOD in HIS entirety, we worship GOD by The HOLY SPIRIT, GOD.
"Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him." -John 14:23
"And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father." - Gal 4:6
"What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?" - 1 Cor 6:19

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"But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him. After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen." - Matt 6:7-11

To humbly follow up, daquiri's post is illustrated by this verse, among many others like it:

"And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables: That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them." - Mar 4:11-12

Only GOD can open one's spiritual eyes, ears and heart to see, hear and understand HIS words.
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"The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times." - Psa 12:6

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” - 2 Tim 3:16-17

@IgboGirl,

you do well, give glory to GOD. you said that "therefore having a sex affair outside marriage is like a type of stealing." Rather, having "a sex affair outside marriage" is either adultery and/or fornication, which is sin which comes with consequences. Not standing in personal judgment of anyone, GOD forbid, just stating what GOD says, and thus the truth.

“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” - Hebrews 13:4

"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God." - 1 Cor 6:9-10

@op,

"Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain." - Exo 20:7

Re: your question - emphasis on any form or part of beauty is vanity, as there are much more important things to focus on. Suppose a guy married a woman based on the fact that she had the best toes there are in this world, objectively or subjectively speaking, but yet, she doesn't fear GOD and is a daily terror to him? I tell you, he will likely wish he hadn't placed emphasis on the superficial, as opposed to the heart.
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"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." - Prov 31:30

It often leads to something else / other things which we ought not engage in."Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." - 1 Cor 7:1-2

Only The Lord GOD Himself can open the understanding to the holy scriptures, because they are "spiritually discerned", yet we ought to read /watch fervently, and pray without ceasing.

"Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual. But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned." - 1 Co 2:13-14
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The Lord JESUS CHRIST is The Son of GOD, and GOD Himself. - "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." - Isa 9:6.  This is The Lord GOD's declaration / prophecy through the prophet Isaiah approx. 700 years before the Lord came in the flesh to fulfill the scriptures.  HIS name is Emmanuel = GOD with us.

As human beings with limited understanding and sin tainted minds, we cannot without GOD's mercy and opening of the understanding even begin to comprehend The infinite, eternal excellency and majesty of The Lord GOD - "For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one." - 1 John 5:7  

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." - John 1:1, "And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth." -John 1:14  

We ought to approach GOD in fear and in humility because the prophecy shall be fulfilled - "Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty." - Rev 1:7-8

@reality101, humbly, yet assertively, reality is “Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but GOD shall destroy both it and Them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.”- 1 Corinthians 6:13
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Truly, "Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." - Prov 31:30