₦airaland Forum

cococandy: I know some plenty emotionally available guys. So Op that your post is not the genral rule.


2) Sometimes guys become withdrawn because it was lust to begin with.
They've gotten what they wanted and it's time to hit the road.

You are right in a way, also Note this write up is for a real man, not players.

Men are more Emotional than women especially at initial stages it's a fact and Almost a General case for a real man, Not a player.
The issue of Lust Is different, like you said, the writers view is about initial stages of a relationship.

jahbiz: I think say na only me waka com. This is one the type of lecturers we have in some higher institutions

Lol, you Funny, but how come some people Understand it, the only issue here is Arrangement.

fiverrwin: Women are funny beings

Lol, but the writer is actually Revealing the roles of a woman in relationship Especially at initial stages.

ihedinobi2: Cool stuff. Resonates with me although I think that the author leaned more toward making excuses like one failing at a responsibility than they should have.

Men, whether we blame it on conditioning or genes, are designed not to be overly emotional. We are designed to be a rock and a stay. We are not designed to waver and change with the weather. Men's maturity is in dependability not in "sensitivity". That latter is for the woman. The emotions that men are most conversant with are essentially appetites - anger, sexxual passion, hunger, determination. All of this make achieving the point of manhood possible. Sensitivity and a poking around inside another person's psyche negates them because when a man is unsure about anything his function as a man begins to fail.

None of that means that attempting to be understanding is wrong, unacceptable or unworthy of the energies of a man. It only means that a man's part is not to be forever attuned to the subtle changes in another person because he will be frustrated not being equipped for that. But he can choose to remain a rock no matter what mood his woman is in. She should be able to count on him to cover her no matter what. When she wants to talk, his ear should never be far. When she isn't up to talking, his shoulder should be near. When she has no idea what's going on and which way is up or down she should be able to take her bearings from him.

Emotion does not make a man. It is, in fact, apt to ruin him if he does not take it in hand and rule it.

Good Points, but i think the writer is referring to the initial stage of the relationship, when they successfully win the initial Drama, the man will be comfortable and become the "Rock" you are describing

Carmall: Haba! But I really don't believe that piece is too long o.
Back to the post, Ignorance of this things is why most ladies lose their relationship. They want to have it all from their respective man, forgetting they are imperfect themselves.

Lol, that's Not the writers view, I'll find Time to summarize this write up.

Also read the last part i Posted, he also highlighted what women can do to help men.

Women set the example and emotional tone that allows their partner to feel safe.

When a man faces a woman who is emotionally stable, it allows him to understand his own emotions. The depth of understanding that the woman has with herself and her own emotional nature will give him the security to express and unveil his own strengths. The woman who is emotionally secure brings a presence of emotional security to the relationship.
A well meaning man will appreciate this and do his best, and grow faster and reveal the depths of his spirit with increasing strength and confidence.
Granted, the ideal is that a man can figure out his emotional state and come into his own emotional maturity through his own self-generated willpower.

Yet the reality is that teachers, guides and mentors accelerate this process and help a person navigate the confusing and mysterious realms of emotions. There are a great many pitfalls and bewildering mirages when it comes to the shifting sands of sensitivities. And as man learns his emotional state, he is also facing the additional challenges from his friends, family, and world that challenges that awakening at every step.

The woman who is insecure with her own emotions will see a man who withdraws as a threat and denigrate him and go on the attack. This is the antithesis of supportive behavior. She may not realize that he is a man who is brave beyond measure to face his own soul and bare his spirit with vulnerable trust. When a man doesn’t respond as she needs and demands at the emotional level, lashing out will only cause harm. Gentle understanding and compassionate acceptance brings healing and deepens the relationship.

One of the best qualities women have is the ability to nurture. Nurturing is not aggressive. And with a man, directing aggression at him will generate an aggressive response. He will either fight or run. The flight or fight response is deeply ingrained into every human being. In essence, attacking a man who is opening his heart will trigger a survival level instinct.

Once that survival level power fully awakens in relationship, the dynamics in the relationship changes and may never come back to equilibrium.

Nurturing is not forceful, instead it is accepting and allows for a natural growth curve. Be patient.

Just as a tree takes time to come into its fullness and blossom, a man who is learning to embrace his deeper truths will need time to fully ripen into his potential.

Appreciate the men who take the time to stand up against society to discover, feel, live and unleash their sensitive side. It takes a lion’s heart full of courage to face down societal expectations and programmed beliefs.

Give him gratitude, honor his spirit, thank him for being available with his sensitivity in ANY way that he is able. Such a person is one of a kind, a warrior in the truest meaning of the word.

Source:elephantjournal.com

Op is right, He is Talking about a real man, not players i Guess Some of us Are shy to Accept the truth.

chymystique: Nice write up Op... I like it but sometimes it could mean the man has lost interest or he is not sure of what he wants..
Liberty24 come and complete the post u don't expect me to click on that link!

You are right but Losing Interest is not very correct, also Note, a man Knows what he Wants

---

Best post on Romance thread, i still read it over again.

It will help you emensely, if you calm down and read the article and assimilate, not minding the length.

Most folks that contributed positively here are matured and real dudes/gals

REDBULL1: Bros, she needs a Honda passport ... not your bloody poem.
Jeez I sincerely don't get this nairaland love

Sorry Dear, i get your point, but you Don't get mine, all the Same at least my comment brought Back the thread, hence solution came.


No vex, Take care

DECOtech: If you are in Lagos, you will find lots of it in Ladipo spare part market. Call this line 08034172750. I bought a gear box from him for my Isuzu Rodeo 2months ago for 120k

These things happen almost every day, yet people still find their soul mate on social networks.
He was rather unfortunate.
May his soul find peace hereafter.

The strongest forgives easily,irrespective of gender.

how can i meet someone with this mindset, without wanting to know her more.
Sincerely, i really want this for real.

Why does my heart delight in vibrations?
I thought for awhile. . .
It yearns to be liberated,
It wonders away, but towards you.

And so it raced ahead . .
Am now, so am I.
Am earnestly searching, hoping and waiting for you!!!

#Glam

These things happen almost every day, yet people still find their soul mate on social networks.
He was rather unfortunate.
May his soul find peace hereafter.

The strongest forgives easily,irrespective of gender.

how can i meet someone with this mindset, without wanting to know her more.
Sincerely, i really want this for real.

Why does my heart delight in vibrations?
I thought for awhile. . .
It yearns to be liberated,
It wonders away, but towards you.

And so it raced ahead . .
Am now, so am I.
Am earnestly searching, hoping and waiting for you!!!

#Glam

Houseofglam7: Good morning handsome.

How Are u doing?

I look for u every where, drop messages on threads I noticed your present,

Am waiting, kindly mail, pls s ssss.

repogirl: Cut the super eagles slack jare! Stop comparing them to other teams that have been over preparing for this tournament. Does German football federation owe their players? If NFF can withhold players money, imagine other things they haven't been able to do.

keshi is not a magician! Do you know the amount of preparation that these top teams go through? They operate like a business....everything is planned, even to the diet of their players which will have a team of diet experts taking care of that angle.

abeg we should be praising Keshi for taking us to second stage, he did his own best.... did you guys really think eagles would reach the semis? Nigerians love miracles, luck can only take one so far, we need to work harder and stop withholding players money! Also Keshi could also kick Mikel out of that team, the guy is just too dry, I don't just understand his game stall.

Nice one, coming from a lady, that's wow

MabraO: Me think God forgives more
See our relationship with Him
U would understand

I am a Man U wrong me I don't forgive and I don't forget one way or a other nature will find me a way to repay the kind favor if not I let it slide but certainly not forgive and forget


The rebirth of William Shakespeare

Easy o
Am no William
Just random thoughts
Then i wrote them down.

You can change the story
You can be different

Houseofglam7: These things happen almost every day, yet people still find their soul mate on social networks.
He was rather unfortunate.
May his soul find peace hereafter.

Good morning Dear!!

See y Mikel couldn't play well

Houseofglam7: Hello Sweetie.

How are u doing?
you are kind of starving me!!!


There's sleep in my eyes.
There are dreams in my sleep
The dreams speak of you and me.
In that dream we made promises.
The promises are our memories,
Now these promises shall never break.
the promise of love that we make shall never break.


Love is always a little silly
It creates magic through the eyes
I wouldn't even share your shadow with someone
You reside in my eyes and heart.

It doesn't matter where the sun rises and sets,
But My morning doesn't arrive without you.
Let's shorten the distance between us
For time and distance have failed,
They only succeed in making me more crazy,
I'll keep waiting and watching as our love grows

#GCheLrrieAM

2s£xy:
you have point but trust me, if someone tells you she loves you, you might be tempted to believe those words which even immediate actions may not reveal her latent motives.

I have been there man...

Remember I told you I was at my bros' house last week? Well, he narrated a story that happened live in Benin.

Woman conived with a supposed pastor and lover, poisoned her legitimate husband, he became intoxicated, weak and was driven by this woman into the distance between Warri and Benin. Right there and then, they poured petrol on the car and burnt the man.

The woman went to report the case at the Police station HERSELF saying her husband is missing... The police located the scene and interrogated residence of the town. They were told that they saw a woman and man. Further investigation blew their cover open.

She has about 2 kids for the deceased husband... And this happened not longer. The husband was an oil worker based in US but he transit between US and Nigeria as frequent as necessary for the sake of their marriage.

I am sure the woman may have said "I love you to her dead husband several times"... Yeah, listen to words more than action.

When you request something, take keen look how your supposed girl friend handles it. When it's your birthday, etc. There are times when these mischieves are reveal, albeit seasonal.

Take note of the little details man... Actions, and not words.

My dear i get your point, you know one can still call you up on your birthday, act nice on every occasion. But his motives are not true.

Like you said, the woman must have been saying i love you, listen to those words, you will know the truth, its difficult to explain but Maybe my ears do transmit something else. Lol

Houseofglam7: I just forgave you for quoting me.

Hello!!!

Pls don't believe everything you read or hear from press

softsparky: Exactly,selfishness and greed.

I wanna marry my own man whether rich or poor. All I want is happiness and rest of mind . Though they say marriage is not a bed of roses.

babe, that's what They say, you can make it bed of roses, with wisdom,

yes issues and differences may arise, communication is the key

These days people don't communicate, all we do is just say nice things, go shopping, clubbing, cinema etc,

Lol, thats not it

2s£xy:
I understand your fears perfectly.

As for your ex class mate, she is one of those who get married just for the name, not really for love. The hand writing is always on the wall but we often ignore them.

People around here know me for always talking about a particular ex .

Well, I have learned to take note of little details and I on my search light on the person's actions. These days, I am like a spy camera but you won't know. People could fake a lot of things, but they can't fake what they feel for one, which propagate their respective actions. Trust me... Action speaks louder than words! Pay more attention to the action and you will be less worried over his words.

Because of this new me, I move on before it comes to that end.

Lol, i just wonder how people would live fake lives around me,
Pls lets note from the first day u met someone, there was a little voice that said she/he is not the one, if u listen attentively to yourself, but We don't listen, rather we are carried away by physical appearance, social and financial status etc, for some lets just catch the fun.

Like many believe action speaks louder than words, for me i pay more attention to what people say, between the lines reveals their motives.

What people fake more of their actions than words.
Actions are calculated thoughts while most speeches are spontenous.
It may not work for u, till u understand other higher principles.

The buttom line is wen you meet people, be real, not ignore red Light, this is wat most men are guilty of, wen the lady does something they don't like, at relationship level they ignore because they wanna be nice instead of saying their minds they shy away so They girl won't feel bad, unfortunately wen they get married, because the can't endure it any more, most at times they would react badly because they have been carrying the burden for long, then u will hear the lady say "my husband has changed"

Let me stop here, just make sure you don't marry out of pity, you will regret it.

Imanuelle: 7M a month, match or no match...

You still dey do shakara


Abi you want FG to give your kids scholarship plus flight subsidy ni?

If you know how much Nigeria pays foreign coaches, plus car, driver, house, and various allowances you know 7mill is small. nigerian coaches are never paid such not to talk of such allowances.

Don't forget Nigerian coaches don't get paid on time, Keshi for example was being owed 9months salary last year, still the issue came to press.

Houseofglam7: Thank you so much.
Twas a great blackout indeed.

here she is

190:
Thank you jare!!

You;d be fine, Nothing do u just work on improving your life and all other things would fall into place
Just dont idle around or hustle around to ruin your real image, im sure some man/men around are quitely watching yuh dearie xx

I almost comment my reserve but Your advice is ok, thanks for being a good friend to her,

190:
Thank you jare!!
You;d be fine, Nothing do u just work on improving your life and all other things would fall into place
Just dont idle around or hustle around to ruin your real image, im sure some man/men around are quitely watching yuh dearie xx

Yungwizzzy28: I dated Cynthia for five years without seeing her, I waited for her all the while she was in the UK doing her masters now she's back and our wedding is next month!!

life is basically what we make out of it.
If both parties are committed, u got nothing to fear. Thank God she's back and accepted to marry you.
After the wedding, the number of years you waited is Irrelevant.

mz mariah: God will provide

The thing is people change when they marry. some men will turn to beasts and women to Jezebels. its complicated

ideology: Lol,

ideology: Lol,

Now i understand, just be positive, yours will be different.

mz mariah: That question 'Will you marry me' scares me

Lol,

From what I understand from your write up, the problem is not he is richer or not doing a white collar job.

What i observe here is ,

1. the guy is meeting the wrong ladies, who probably believe its not yet time for them to settle down,

or ladies who sees all guys as players so They are just playing safe,

2. The guy is the type that believes he can get any lady because of his financial status.

3. Its also important to note that some ladies don't like guys that are too serious, especially here, the guy will be talking mostly about marriage, his business and probably little or no romance maybe because his money his pay for the lady's happiness

My advice is, for guys don't go out there conciously looking for a lady to marry, the tendency of meeting the wrong ones is high, since you may end up stopping almost any lady u see, thinking she's the one.

So just live a normal life, i believe in the course of your business, you will meet her

Good morning Pals
I love u all

Only OND

There's sleep in my eyes.
There are dreams in my sleep
The dreams speak of you and me.
In that dream we made promises.
The promises are our memories,
Now these promises shall never break.
the promise of love that we make shall never break.


Love is always a little silly
It creates magic through the eyes
I wouldn't even share your shadow with someone
You reside in my eyes and heart.

It doesn't matter where the sun rises and sets,
But My morning doesn't arrive without you.
Let's shorten the distance between us


#CherrieGlam

Yes, he made a mistake, but Did his mistake also make our strikers not to score, did it make Mikel invisible on the pitch, was his mistake the reason Ozase played every where on pitch.
How could Nigeria win with no creative midfielder at least like that short guy from France

If Enyema is an excuse, then Keshi was an error himself, sitting thruout an important match, watching the ref blow rubbish without beckconing for fair play.