₦airaland Forum

@TOH

How come Seun hasn't unbanned the original moniker?

I am going to have a word with my little nephew and have this sorted out ASAP.

Which one you be sef? Proud Manc or Gayner

@Jackal

Never mind Debosky's Epistles.His book,St Debo's Letter to the Pedophiles,was included in the UnHoly Book of the Church of Latter Day Gayners.He can keep spinning Gooners poor form till they drop out of the top 2 for all I care

The new improved Razzorr Chesticles has been cleansed of Lordi's contamination.This one comes certified by NAFDAC and more luscious than Jordan's twin towers!I think its a fair bargain

Gibberish is a wee bit generous of an adjective for that crap

I think he was writing "under influence"

@Folahann
Always being told to open up but waits upon nothing and decides not to. Anyways if you go unto him he will not snubb you but will never come onto you.


Are you the One?

@Jackal

Seun and my agent are still discussing terms.We are looking at a 2 year contract,generous pay packages including exclusive rights to Razzorr's chesticles!! _{that's a tongue out to lick the chesticles}

The deal is not certain as Seun insists he is incapable of meeting my financial demands.I will keep you guys posted

An excerpt from Folahann's insightful posts:

Always being told to open up but waits upon nothing and decides not to. Anyways if you go unto him he will not snubb you but will never come onto you.

Can any Gayner explain the above?

The NIE Report:The complete and original copy

Dear Mr. President,

We are honored to present you with the latest National Intelligence Estimate, dealing with the satellite sighting referred to in our previous Intelligence Memo (IM) #3267.

Respectfully,

(redacted)

NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE ESTIMATE #765 – EYES ONLY

This NIE reflects the consensus of 16 intelligence agencies, although we can't remember the names of all of them.

Please note the following definitions used in this report:

SLAM-DUNK CONFIDENCE – We have at least two facts to back up the opinions we already had.

SO-SO CONFIDENCE – We have only one fact, or an almost-fact, to back up our opinions, but if we're wrong we can say we had only so-so confidence, so it's good cover.

ITSY BITSY CONFIDENCE – We don't know anything about it, but we know what we want to push you to do.


OVERALL SUBJECT:

On 1 April, 2007, 1541 hours local time, an animate object was observed by satellite as it moved slowly through an area near the Iranian nuclear enrichment plant at Natanz. It looked like a duck, walked like a duck, ate like a duck, and, as revealed by enhanced sound surveillance (ESS), quacked like a duck.

KEY JUDGMENTS:

We judge with SLAM-DUNK CONFIDENCE that it's not a duck.

We assess with SLAM-DUNK CONFIDENCE that Iran suspended the breeding of ducks in 2003, in response to a complaint by a grandma that ducks were mussing her flowers.

We judge that this demonstrates that Iran is pragmatic, and sensitive to pressure from national and international interests. We assess with SO-SO CONFIDENCE that Iran did a cost-benefit analysis before suspending duck breeding, and determined that the presence and utility of ducks did not outweigh the concerns of grandmas.


Source:http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OTg2MDY3NWZiNTAxZTgzMGYzNjMzZGExOGM5ZmQ0OGU=

One interesting consequence of Nairaland's brief break was the proliferation of Journals/Threads.There was a sudden desire by some Nairalanders to "bare their souls". I thought of starting one myself,may still start one.

One Gayner seemed so particularly stupefied by yesterday's loss that his brain seemed to degenerate into a vegetative state producing some of the most incoherent ramblings I have ever come across on Nairaland

For a split second,I was worried about the mental state of the poster,till I remembered that Gayners are famously grotesquely retarded,so perhaps this was usual fare by their standards.Decided to link it here,perhaps Gayners might be able to understand the poster's gibberish since the ability to "gibber" is the hallmark of Gayners as seen on this thread.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-99531.0.html

@Jackal

I don't know why 3 wins in 8 games should prompt an entire speech.Methinks he is losing the plot. . . . Kitaun was seen checking into Gayners Anonymous,he was struck down by a severe case of Disappointitis ,an ailment that afflicts gayners which symptoms include excessive raising of hopes followed by colossal disappointment

Debosky deals with this by tapping furiously on the keyboard like a monkey on heat and producing epistles about yet another underwhelming performance instead of simply uttering the words,"Arsenal are sh*te"!

Well,Gayners will always be Gayners!The flip side is that we will always have somebody to laugh at.

About my appointment as Moderator,well what can I say,I was shocked to get an email from Seun informing me that I now have responsibility for moderating the Sports Section.I mean,I have boasted regularly about my powerful juju,Ngene Oji,which prevents Seun from banning me but I never knew that the Juju was affecting Seun's brain.I mean,to make me Moderator?

TOH:
Lmao. At least spare debo because I know if you were to be mod, all Arsenal fans would be banned.

I won't ban all Gayners,I need to have them here so I can laugh at them

Is this thread Seun's idea of finding moderators?

@Debo

Go home!PDP needs you. . . . .you can spin away monumental problems the FG hasn't solved.

So we were level with Gayners but are now 1 point behind?Then you had a game in hand.Still remember when you were 4 points clear of United with a game in hand,we were discussing the postponed Newcastle game,and I was insisting it wasn't likely you were going to pick 3 points,you insisted Gooners are probably going to take all 3 points.

Anyway,have you started seeing the "patterns" I was talking of? The gradual deterioration in Gunners performance transcends merely missing key players or playing a certain number of away games in a short space of time.The record speaks for itself-3 wins in 8 games with tough games ahead.

There is nothing like a thorough bashing in the cold North to bring Gooners back down to earth.Great weekend!Liverpool and Gooners losing. Couldn't be better. . . . for a while I thought Seun-the closeted Gayner-will keep his forum locked but I was able to convince my little nephew to open the forum.

PS:I am about to assume the position of Moderator of the Sports Section.I have been campaigning really hard and sincerely thank those who emailed Seun to pick me-Loyika,Kitaun,Debosky,Akolawole-I didn't know my resounding objectivity and exemplary conduct was so well appreciated.

chuckdee4:
Yes we've been spewing shit all season long but guess who's been looking up our asses on the table to collect the shit, thats right Scum united

All season long?Have you been topping the League since the beginning of the season?Are Gayners all illiterates?Topping the League now is irrelevant,topping the League in May is the objective.

How many times do I have to explain to Gooners that there are no prizes yet for topping the league mid-season? There was a time Chelski were out of the top 4 and people like you were doubting whether they will qualify for the Champions League next season.

This season will end up more dissapointing for Gayners than the previous season,since unlike last season,their hopes were raised to high heavens.That is what will make this season sweeter,seeing Gooners hopes crumble.

chuckdee4:
I-man i love the way your mouth's running, because it'll make it sweeter when i have to stuff shit down your mouth nxt week

Being an Arse,you obviously have a copious quantity of "shit".You guy have been spewing fecal matter since the beginning of the season,I know you are Arses but you guys reached diarrhetic proportions with your constant shit spewing!

What happened to the "game in hand"?Gone in one glorious night at Tyneside!Now you are hoping Liverpool does you a favor Even if we lose our next 3 games,we still finish ahead of Gooners at the end of the season.

Who the hell is the Champion of England again?I think some people need to be reminded of reality.

Jackal:
@ I-man,

Wenger is a Arrow . . . . . . .He thinks he can win the league with the crop of pretenders?
Did u see the look on Almunia's face when Tuncay scored? He looked like a pedo as well.
This is a guy trying to get a Brit passport and keep for England.
Wonders shall never end . . . .He told the media he wants Almunia to keep for England.
Excuse me . . . . how serious is ARSEne?

Aluminium looks like a performer at Mardi Gras!Keep for England?Heard about it.Shows Arse doesn't wish English football well.Shame,as we granted him asylum after his pederast activities in Japan!

How can you suggest Alum as goalie for England?I won't recommend the man to my enemies.

Jackal:
Meanwhile . . . . i want u to be honest . . . . .how did u feel after the game last night?
Just gimme the details of how u felt? Nauseous? Depressed? Hungry? Swollen eyes or what?

They all felt like Ricky Hatton.There is nothing like a good thumping up North to humble Gayners.Arsenal are tribalists!They don't want Northerners to see their "Champagne football".They keep playing League One football whenever they travel.

I heard Wenger blamed the bus driver for their loss to Boro.He should enter the The Excuse Making Hall Of Fame! What's the bloody bus driver got to do with Toure hoofing the ball forward like a rugby player?What's the driver got to do with that obvious escapee from a mental hospital-Eboue?Boy should have been red carded for performing a taekwando punch on a Boro player.That was the wildest punch I have ever seen in footie.Worse than Cantona's kick on that fan years ago.

If Gayners are depressed now,how will they feel in January?They will probably get suicidal.Osama Bin Laden started his jihad after United won the treble. . . . . .the world suffers for it when the Arse underachieves on the pitch.

@RuuDie

Arse will be better off selling Fab to Barca at the end of the season.That boy is the new Aimar and will not mantain physical fitness for long.The sooner they sell him,the better.Its clear he longs for Barca,you can't blame him.What's he going to win at the Emirates-Carling Cup,Entertaining Football Cup(Cup given out by Gayners only)

Gooners could have signed Luka Modric but Wenger was dragging his feet.He would be a good deputy for the Gas boy.

Why doesn't Wenger use Rosicky in a central role?Seems to me he would have been a better replacement there than Diarra

. . . . Spurs gaining ground on Arsenal.There is still hope for them to finish above Arsenal Maybe Spurs should be relegated. . . that way they can actualise their dreams of winning the league.

Arsenal are only 7 points ahead of City in 6th place. . . .if City spend £30m in the January transfer window,you never know what might happen

chuckdee4:
He's crap and overated just like every other english player, runs around so much with no end result and don't get me started on Fat (2 good seasons) Frank (Absent during big games) Lampard

Are you saying that Lampard doesn't shine in big games? You sure you watch Chelski? Frank is the most consistent of all the Blue bastards,most especially in big games.He only under performs with the national side. . . .I guess that is what has influenced your view of him.

nateevs:
Now you think Joe Cole is crap!!!!!!!!!!! same guys that compare Lampard with Fabregas.

One Gayner here,I think Whitelexi,said Fabregas is better than Maradona! According to Gayners,he is is the greatest midfielder that ever lived-never mind Lampard.


I would be rooting for Gooners on Sunday against Chelski.Chelski pose a greater threat to United than Arse,its better for Gooners to win,we will always catch up with them even if we give them a 10 point head start

Best picture of the weekend

nateevs:
@Loyika

you don't read well. This is the thrid time i am having to explain what I wrote. I said UNFORTUNATELY EBOUE WOULD HAVE STEPPED IN BUT HE WILL BE GONE TOO. What did you think I was referring to when I said gone?

Then you guy comes around asking me how I would have suggested that Eboue would be in central defence and that started a whole new topic.

I don't want to have to explain to you again

This arsenal loss is really getting to you ooooo.

They are still seeing stars after being bashed around the head by "Neanderthal Northerners"_{Gooners can't win up North} They must be feeling like Ricky Hatton at the moment when he kissed the canvas

I think there is some element of fatigue in Gooners performance.Look at the likes of Clichy and Sagna. . .its obvious they need some rest and they are not going to get it playing Chelski,Pompey and Everton quick succesion.Getting back key missing players will help a little bit but it seems many Gooners players haven't paced themselves properly since the season started.

Going back 10 games,every game Arsenal have played has demanded maximum exertion of energy.It took a late winner against Sunderland to win.They had to fight back to get equalisers against Liverpool and Utd.They also scored late against Wigan and were hanging on against Villa and Newcastle.

United have had games within that period in which they could take their foot off the pedal.The 4-1 win away to Villa,2-0 wins against Blackburn and Fulham,4-0 against Kiev and the 4-1 win against Derby.All these will have some effect during the Xmas period.

Still think its a 4 horse race and Liverpool will be favorites if they get knocked out by Marseille.Whatever happens,Arsenal definitely won't win and will be lucky to finish in the top 2 unless Wenger goes crazy and splashes the cash in the transfer window.

chuckdee4:
I-man, emphasis on the word "If"

Why debate the improbable?Like debating what would happen if Pompey finish in the top 4 this season.

I don't think Wenger came into this season expecting to win the League.The squad seems designed just to finish in the top 4 but not to challenge for the title.Gooners have overachieved beyond the expectations of the manager but even he knows that this season is too early for the Gooners to win yet.

The problem is that while he is looking at the future,the squad will continue to lose talented players.Players like Cesc might start to think they stand a better chance of winning trophies by going somewhere else

chuckdee4:
I-man, what will happen if Arsenal come through those games with maximum points (Just want to know what u would think)?

IT WON'T HAPPEN!Its that simple.9 points against Pompey,Everton and Chelski?You must be one of the most optimistic Gooners on earth,probably one of those who thought Gayners will go on unbeaten and win the treble ;DEven Utd can't pick up maximum points in those fixtures.The only people that could do that was Jose's Chelski side of 2005/2006

You were one of those who didn't see that there was something deteriorating in Gooner's form,even when RVP,Hleb and Cesc were present.Remember those games against Bolton and Sunderland? That was when the fatigue started setting in.

It wasn't surprising to see Cesc have a hamstring problem. . . .such problems are persistent and given his physique,could haunt him forever!

HNIC:
Someone's saying we miss Henry,

With strikers like Ade,Bendtner,Walcott and Eduardo,if you think you don't miss Henry,you must be must be a VIP member of the "Ostrich Club".At the moment,Arsenal have only one class forward-RVP.You can't win the league with only one decent striker.

Ade is like Benjani at the moment,mediocrity enjoying a rare taste of the limelights.You know the cliche,"form is temporary but class is permanent",Ade's temporary good form cannot hide his mediocre class.

@Jackal

Great to have you back. . . . .just in time for some schadenfreude at Gooners expense! Just a few months ago,it was "we are 4 points ahead with a game in hand",then later,"we are 4 points ahead anyway",now it is,"we are 1 point ahead and defying critics",by next month it will be,"we are in 3rd place when everyone expected us to be in 5th place".

Everyone saw it coming but the willfully blind Gooners.3 wins in 8 games,they have tough fixtures against Chelski,Pompey and Everton,the last 2 are away.I told them this forum will be more interesting towards Xmas!

denex:
I-man

you trained fictionalizer, please prove to me that China is a Dictatorship. Maybe I'll have to start a different thread from this, but anywhichway, I'd like you to tell me what makes China a dictatorship. Or is it simply because they do not bow down to the USA?

Your mind is too narrow. How can people clearly vote their leaders into Government and some bunch of morons thousands of miles away will claim that they are undemocratic? Do you even know the meaning of democracy? It is a system of government installed and operated by the people. It does not mean a system of government approved by the USA.

Do you sincerely believe that the people of China freely elect their leaders? Every country on earth conducts elections,every single nation state holds elections but the mere holding of elections doesn't make a country a democracy.

To debate this issue with someone who has a patently dysfunctional intellect as you do will be pointless.

@cougar

Tevez's misses are too many. . . .going back to his days at Corinthians.True,everyone experiences such,Van Nistlerooy missed a sitter against Bremen but Tevez has an appalling conversion rate.

What is workrate,if we want workrate,why not sign Emile Heskey.I too can provide workrate for Utd.What we need is someone who can put the ball into the net and Tevez lets us down a lot. What is he doing that Nani can't do?Nani has the most assists for any Utd player,eventhough he is mostly on the bench

Ronaldo virtually plays as a striker.He might as well remain in the striking position and then we can bring in Nani,who statistically,is the most creative United player

@Afam

Your vacuous mind hasn't contributed one iota of substance to this topic.Anything beyond peddling inverters at Alaba market is beyond you.Don't you have any articles from mercenaries in your in box? Anyone who doesn't draw wages from the Arab world?

chuckdee4:
I-man don't give me that crap about having easier fixtures
If we don't win those games, u'll still have a go at Arsenal
If we do win them u still have a go, is there any winning with u

AW didnt write up the fixtures, u can only beat whoever's been put in front of u. The fact of the matter is that after 15 games Arsenal lead with a 4 point gap, u can either live with that or keep dreaming in lala land

AW didn't write the fixtures,just like Ericksson didn't write City's fixtures but the reality is that the way the fixtures are made,can help teams get off to a good start.Why the sudden 3 wins in 7?

All of sudden,your win ratio in the Prem is 50%.

As for the PH Lube guy,why cite the Bolton game when you have said simply citing one game Arsenal haven't won is ridiculous.What is a 4 point gap in a league where 11 point gaps in January/February have been overturned before?

3 wins in 7 is hardly impressive however you want to spin it.

How many excuses can we keep hearing?

-Against Liverpool,Scousers were supposed to be lucky.

-The draw against Utd was a lucky result for Utd

-loss against Sevilla was because you were missing players

-draw against Newcastle was because of missing players and Geordies not allowing you play

Even the wins are hardly impressive,except Reading,you were barely scrapped wins against mighty Wigan and Villa.I know football isn't mathematics but it is interesting to note the sharp contrasts when those teams played Utd

denex:
@I-man

why do you desire to hold a monopoly on spreading fiction?

If you desire to "spread fiction", go ahead.You are already doing a great job trying to convince us that China is a democracy.I guess this is what they mean by "half-baked Nigerian graduates"

denex:
@I-man

I had to bring this here because you chose to.

please about the China democracy thing, can you please quote a Chinese website or newspaper or even government official saying that China is not a democracy? Or is it your dear "white" house that is feeding you with all these black lies?

Denex,seriously,the way you reason is appalling.Its like asking me to find one Egyptian newspaper or Govt official that doesn't think Mubarak is a dictator,or a N.Korean newspaper or Govt official that doesn't think the "Great Leader" is a dictator

Na you biko!So you are still arguing that China and the UK are similar democracies?

@McKren

You are an idiot.Go to 1st page and see who started the slanging match between us two.Did CNN and BBC tell you that they think the NIE was released against Bush's wishes?

This is coming from someone who quotes fictional movies as historical sources "because Robert Redford is a successful businessman"

debosky:
All this vile because we drew a game in Newcastle

Its the ability to see a pattern gradually develop that is prompting all this.Cast your mind back to your game against Sunderland. . . .many noted a gradual deterioration in Arsenal's performances

In your last 7 games,you have won only 3. 3 wins in 7 games isn't particularly awe inspiring.More importantly,it shows we are not talking of exceptions but a pattern of performances were Arsenal are clearly struggling to impose themselves.

Arsenal's biggest win was the 3-1 defeat of mighty Reading.I know you will proclaim that 3 of those 7 games were against very good sides but what does it say that Arsenal can't beat any good side anymore.

Its not merely a drawn game,its 3 wins in 7 games.It doesn't get easier from here.Away games at Pompey and Everton await together with a home game against Chelsea.

Arsenal's lead owes,not so much to their recent performances,but performances they had put together in August,September and October. . . .at a time their main rivals were struggling and they had a wonderful fixture list replete with innumerable home games.We are entering what Fergie calls "squeaky bum time".