₦airaland Forum

Ray360:
the emboldened is the genesis of the problem, you two had started living together even before getting married, You must have slept with each other zillion times, What's there to excite you again in marriage? when your petals had already been battered, no flavour again to spark excitement

If she married him 3 years ago, won't she have still slept with him a gazillion times by now?

Why do you people feel the need to quickly belittle people over issues like these, then look for a way to link it to your own ignorant ideology?

Are you married? Have you been married before? Do you understand what it means to share your life, body and soul with another individual for years on end?

You probably don't.

Don't be quick to judge others please, sex inside or outside the wedlock is not the genesis of the problem here.

I remember when I lost my job, broke up with my then fiancé was depressed.

I used to spend a lot of time with a neighbour lady, she seemed quite nice till I realized that I had to get away from her.

I didn't feel like she meant me well, she was unemployed, 2 children, runaway hubby, depressed too and wanted me to stay in the same situation she was.

She would encourage me to hang with men rather than go out and look for a job, or a legit means of livelihood.

When I left my old neighbourhood and moved to Abuja, things were really bad for me, anytime she called and I relayed my frustrations about life to her, I noticed she seemed more comfortable with the idea of me having a hard life in Abuja, this eventually was what motivated me to be better.

I did get better, got a good job, got a better man....everything worked out, now she doesn't call me as much, as there's too much joy and satisfaction in my life.

Sometimes some friends want you to stay jobless and unfocused just to feel better about themselves.

dearestaramide:
MY uncle and I love to have conversations on life, relationships, politics etc. Any way, we got into discussion on the high rate of divorce in Nigeria and he went on to express what he felt were cause of it. He emphasized on patience and forgiveness and went on to tell me of an experience that cured him of his player life style

Years ago, my uncle was like the average Nigerian man, that is of course womanizer but like the average man, he was smart not to flaunt it, though as women, we always can tell. His wife had always known and was always told by her over sabi friends but since she never caught him red handed, she couldn't do anything about it.

The constant late night calls, meetings, sudden travels increased her belief of what she already knew. what could she do? yes, as any average wife, she was in pains but still showed him love and made sure she was there for him any time he needed a friend to talk to. She never complained or cried to her family or friends but kept in all inside her. He respected her for this even though as he said, he was too addicted to women to stop, though he tried.

My uncle was called off for a conference which was to last for one week and as usual with out delay, he jetted off. A cousin of my aunt whom she had not seen for over two years then came to visit and but was staying in a hotel which was by all means high standard and very expensive. My aunt decided to visit her on a Saturday so as to stay longer and catch up on old times. My aunt as you suspected caught sight of her husband really romancing a woman in the pool area and as you know, the man was supposed to be in Port Harcourt and had presumably jetted off three days before. She calmly finished what took her to the hotel and went back home.


My aunt never showed her husband any difference and still treated him normal as usual but one day whilst he was in a very good mood and they were watching an interesting movie in their room, she calmly told him what she had seen THREE MONTHS EARLIER and asked him not to do it again as he had hurt her deeply.

That night, shame, shock, fear all kinds of thoughts but best of all respect clouded my uncle's thought. He did eventually stop but not immediately oooo. He said it was gradual but he eventually stopped.

MY aunt fell ill and died years later and my uncle was sooo heart broken. He is still single by the way.

WHAT I LEARNT

all men are the same only thing that differentiates them is fear of God and self control.
Women need to be wiser and more matured than men.
Never act immediately this enables you time to think and strategise
shouting doesn't change men but pushes them away

I know for a fact that a man who wrote this story.

People talk about this love and marriage thing as if women don't have feelings too, you're going about carrying all kinds of std infected girls, laying in bed with them, sharing your body and soul with them....while your poor dear wife is at home in emotional pain.

And you call this love? Is true love really this hurtful? Can you love someone and hurt them so much through infidelity, lying, cheating?

No.

Kudos to all the loving and patient women in the world, but I have seen many instances where men leave their wives for younger women because their wives did nothing to hold the marriage together while her husband was gallivanting all over the place.

If you're hurting emotionally.........speak to your man, let him know the ways he hurts you, maybe he will pack up his promiscuity before you die prematurely and not get enough satisfaction from your marriage.

Patience is a virtue. Patience is good in a woman....but please don't be stupid with your patience.

Proof please.................

Hmmm......

Things are happening.

Paternity Test. End of story.

This man was a great thief though............

I remember one girl he was dating in Asokoro then, too much money

20year old girl with house in Asokoro, 2 shops in Banex, chef, cleaner, driver, cars, designer gear and money to throw around.

One time we heard she had over 200m Naira in her bank account.

RIP Sha....but he was a thief.

Like.

Stupid topic.

Somebody cannot be hungry and say that they're hungry again.

That's how you guys end up with fake chics who pretend all the time to seem cool.

Pass.

AwesomelyMade:
I have followed this Ubi and Lilian story. When you look at their pictures, Ubi always looks diffident and controlled.
It's as if Lilian calls the shots and Ubi's countenance is always like 'at ur service ma'am.

Anyways wetin concern me. You know I care a lot, so I don't want an anonymous someone opening an account on nairaland here tommorrow, 'my wife is a bully, how do I escape her lynchings'.

Is it ya marriage?

Face ya work.

Btw....Beautiful couple, wish them all the best.

Hybrid600:
In your Own Opinion; Which of the following kills a relationship faster?
.
> Poor sex
> No sex at all
> No money
> Cheating
> Bad friends
>Jealousy
> No communication
> Lack of Fun
> lack of Trust
> Others Specify

All of the above.

She should be careful o...........

Ehn ehn...these stalkers are not normal, one day she will just wake up with him in her bedroom....holding an axe.

If I can't have you no one can things.

Weyrey alaso.

MWTGDAra:
[url=http://]https://www.sunnyskyz.com/uploads/2014/03/hgrnv-truth-hell.jpg[/url]

It doesn't exist?

Well....underneath all that sluttiness may actually be somebody with a good heart, or maybe she's just their type.

P.s: Don't take this the wrong way but you sound a tad jealous.

This is why they say you people should test before buying.

Please don't abuse me abeg.

Wickedness.

annibro:
Yes stories can go a long way. I remember watching several movies by Jenifer Lopez on abusive relationships & one by Kate Henshaw. Dey were good motivators. I tink we shud do a thread on ds issue. It wud go a long way 2 help lots of pipu. Wat do u tink? Or is der any already in d family section?

Amen!!

Yes....I think there is, I came across a thread like that a while back when a young lady was stabbed to death by her abusive husband, but i'm not sure the post is still being read.

Esthersblog:
I received this email form an EB reader who would like to share to fellow EB readers.

"I started dating in 2001, I guess you know how it is when it comes to first love. He ends up becoming your first everything, we broke up two years later. Four months after we broke up, I started dating another guy who I found out about six months later that he was my ex’s cousin. Well, we broke up shortly afterwards.

I decided to go on a break and after which my cousin hooked me up with a guy who was studying abroad. After a few months, on Christmas day to be precise, we started dating online because he was sure of coming back to Nigeria after his studies. And I was also cool with it because we really liked each other and couldn’t wait to be together physically, I could say we were already falling in love online. The shocker after his return to Nigeria was, my boyfriend at that time was very close friends with my two ex-boyfriends. They were childhood friends right from when they were living in Lagos before they all moved to different locations in Nigeria, before he travelled out, but they still kept their friendship.

At this point I thought I was under a spell. I was living in Lagos at the time, which is the biggest city in Nigeria, I couldn’t believe my three boyfriends all knew each other. Trust guys now, because my exes had their cakes, my boyfriend decided to end the relationship because he could not bear the thoughts that his friends had slept with me. I was expecting it though, but it sure broke my heart. I cried, prayed and fasted for God to take away this curse.

Then I met this sweet guy after I was transferred to another city to work. His brothers did not like me, I have no idea why up till now, but who cares. I was doing all the wife duties to make sure I kept the relationship including all efforts made to make his brothers accept me but all to no avail, his brothers succeeded in breaking the relationship. That one gone.

I lost my job afterwards because the company closed down and I decided to go live with my aunty who resides in another state. I didn’t want to live in Lagos where my family was based because of the experiences I had in my previous relationships. I enrolled in a vocational training institute and started my own business shortly after I was through with it. I went for a wedding with a friend of mine one weekend and that when she introduced me to the sweetest guy. We kicked off immediately but was taking the relationship one step at a time. We travelled for a wedding to the state I resided before I moved in with my aunty and to my greatest surprise, his friend who was getting married was one of my ex’s brothers. I felt like entering under the ground.

One thing I always thank God for was the fact that I told my boyfriend every single thing about my relationship life except a few though, but I did not leave out the number of guys I dated and how it all ended. While I was with my boyfriend then, you know how some loud mouthed guys are, they started saying all sorts about me to my boyfriend, the stories that were true, and lies as well.

Do you know what he told them after they realized he wasn’t saying anything about it. He told them he already knows the whole story, that all was in the past and he wasn’t ready to give me up for anything in this world. My head swelled when he was coming towards me smiling and gave me a long kiss before he told me what he told them after they finished ranting. We finally got married a year later.

The message I am trying to pass across here is, do not let anyone or anything make you feel like all hope is lost in finding the right person. It might take a while but definitely, he will find you. This might not work for every lady but it definitely worked for me. Try to make sure you do not leave out the very important details about your past especially your dating life from your man, when you know the relationship is getting serious. You never know!!!"

www.esther.com.ng

Thank you for this post....It's refreshing to see such positive experiences from people, it goes a long way in motivating and uplifting others.

I wish you the best.

Congrats.............but Yimu.

This Jonathan na guy man....Look him face cap.

ikubch:
Now one trader will come to hustle in lagos for years and carry all the money home to marry this girl. She came to see her boyfriend and she is obviously not a virgin

Are you a virgin? Someone was raped you're looking for missing virginity.

If you're not....why are you looking for what even you don't have up and down?

Na wa o....

Ciscogod:
Thr truth must be told.

El rufai is stronger than the VP in this regime.

I think the vice or deputy stuff is over rated.

Just as we have ekweremandu in the senate.

He cant even preside when saraki is not around facing CCT trial.

It's not a competition though............

They're all working together for the good of Nigeria (At least they should be).

annibro:
I feel u dear. Thank u 4 ur kind words & Amen. I am eternally grateful 2 God Who never comdemned me but gave me a 2nd chance 2 live my dream marriage. Yes its not easy at all 4d victim esp in d issue of Remarriage. But I give Glory 2 God & appreciate my husband who being single went against all odds 2b with me. B4 now evryone thot I shouldn't end up with a single man. Even my pastor & close confidant felt there was a 'but' in my life & was advising me 2 look in d direction of either a widower or Divorcee. At a point, he even tried hooking me up wit a widower(I was 2 travel all d way 2 maiduguri 2 meet him),imagine! den wit sevrai divorcees. Not dat am looking down on dem, but dat was man's verdict. Dey ve placed a tag on me but it wasn't so with God. D story of d woman caught in Adultery kept replaying in my mind. God has not condemned me. I shouldn't condemn myself either nor allow any man do. So I started seeing myself innocent & justified until my husband came, brand new, 'Chasis' . Wit all humility, pipu say he looks like Yemi Blaq(naija actor) but I tink he looks facially like jim ikye. He has ds sort of bulgy, dreamin eyes . No bi my effort, #NaGodWin#

Your post has made my day.
God has exalted you where man thought there was no way. It's always refreshing to hear positive life stories as yours, to give inspiration to others who might be going through the same thing.

I always tell people.....have faith, there will always be light at the end of the tunnel, as long as we have life in us.

As for the people that condemned you....they have failed because God had his own plans for you.

Congrats your the wonderful handsomely dreamy husband , may you both love and grow old together.

My sister na you win o....Shame to bad people. #GodWin

Ah....Can this be real?

This Motunrayo Lateef na old mama o....na lie she's almost 32 years old.

How many of them go school sef wey dem wan enter Ministerial list?

Pls don't abuse me o....na play I dey play.

I've learnt in life that there are always 2 sides to a story.

cocoduck:
Shut up your dirty lying mouth. I dey kampke for Gabon, look The last time light went off in my house was yesterday in the morning, what happened, I ran out of electricity credit went to the utility company called SEEG and bought some, loaded it into my meter and bam there was light, food dey here plenty. You are just lying and you are nothing but a local champion, Even Lome in Togo is a better place than that latrine of a country. abegi smell out.

First of all....you're a dimwit with an empty skull.

Na your sisters get dirty mouth, you his bastard with no human quality.

Did I post at you? Or is it the frustration in your life that made you come and join to post empty nonsense here.

You will just come here and be vomiting rubbish because somebody borrowed you a smart phone.
You're obviously adirty lowlife with nothing to offer but bitterness that's why you're quick to bring your empty head and diarrhoea mouth to my post.

You say Togo is better than Nigeria? Liar....do you even know where the International Airport is?

You're somewhere in Oshogbo posting this. You hopeless animal, it's obvious from the bitterness and anger in your post.

Useless piece of garbage like you, if you don't have work please take to the streets of Oshogbo to beg for alms.

Bloody fool, descendant of flea infested monkey. Idiot.

Togo is better than Nigeria because of Electricity card.....Hahahahaaaaa....slowpoke of all nations.

3rdlegxxx:
even tho you are an igbo and i am not, your points aren't strong enough, the talk of igbos looking u up and down is your perspective, get an open minded approach to things and try and understand people better, i am not igbo but i try to understand people, some igbos are very easy to work and relate with even tho they show their love for money, where as some yorubas will take envy, hate, juju and all sorts to push you away, every tribe has its ill and good sides, it's all about understanding them and seeing that there is a reason most things the way they happen, this people have been shouting and clamoring for freedom, if it's their constitutional right, let's give it to them

Contrary to what you have arrived at, I am very open minded and i'm not here to deliver strong points or convince anybody otherwise. This is not a literary and debating forum.

If Igbos want to break away, it's fine.......but is it majority or all Igbos that want Biafra? Certainly not.

You can't decide to break up people, uproot them from their homes, separate families, break homes, create conflict, hunger and suffering because certain people believe it's their "Constitutional right" to be free. Nobody is in bondage in Nigeria, unless you put yourself in that bondage.

Visit other countries in Africa and you will see that we have it rather good in Nigeria, even my Franco-phone colleagues agree to this.

Most of the Igbos I know are not clamouring for Biafra, so I don't know what you mean by "These people".

Is it anyone's constitutional right to put others in the line of conflict, fear and war? No.

Let us all speak for ourselves please.

Pesuzok:
My brother tell them, I am also Igbo but once you are against biafra, they will say you are not igbo. They have not told me what will happen to the igbos that have their whole life investment outside SE and SS. What if tomorrow the yorubas and hausa ask every igbo to leave their land to biafra. They should hear from every concerned igbo before this

Guy.............You talk sense abeg.