₦airaland Forum

oarowosola:
I met her sometime around April or May last year, and from the beginning, things seemed fine between us. Like every relationship, we both made sacrifices, and even though I don’t like keeping score in relationships, I know I gave a lot of myself into it. Over time, though, I started noticing certain habits and behaviors that became harder and harder for me to ignore. At first, I kept convincing myself that maybe I was overthinking things or expecting too much, but eventually I realized that I was simply becoming exhausted.

One of the biggest issues for me was cleanliness and basic responsibility. I’m not a perfect person, and I can be nonchalant too. I’m someone who enjoys my own space and doesn’t constantly need attention or communication. If someone is busy and doesn’t check up on me for a while, I honestly don’t take it personally. But what bothered me was the imbalance. She could disappear for days or weeks whenever she was occupied and expect me to understand, but if I withdrew into my own space just to protect my peace, she would become upset about it. That double standard was one of the first things that started weighing on me emotionally.

The first time I visited her house, I was shocked by how untidy it was. I’m not obsessive about cleanliness, but I believe there should be a basic level of order, especially when you know someone is visiting you for the first time. When she came to my place for the first time, I made an effort. I cleaned my house , mopped the floor, arranged the bed, and even bought small things just to make the environment more comfortable. It wasn’t about trying to impress her with money; it was simply intentionality. I wanted her to feel welcomed.

But each time I visited her place, the environment remained the same. One particular day, after she stepped out, I decided to clean the entire house myself just to prove a point. While sweeping, I found sugar inside the couch, rotting cashew scattered around, and several things that clearly caused unpleasant odors. I cleaned the parlour, arranged the bedroom, organized her bags, and put everything in order. When she came back, she thanked me, but I remember telling her that it shouldn’t get to the point where her boyfriend had to clean her entire house before it became livable. I told her clearly that if I visited again and the place was still in that condition, it would probably be the last time I came there.

Unfortunately, nothing changed. On another visit, the smell in the house was so terrible that I kept trying to trace where it was coming from. Eventually, I discovered a sack beside the couch she had been sitting on. Something inside it had gone bad, and the odor was unbearable. I carried it outside myself because I couldn’t understand how someone could stay in that environment comfortably. Later, when she went to make yam and eggs, I followed her into the kitchen and found another terrible smell coming from plates that had clearly been sitting there for days. Instead of cleaning the sink first, she simply pushed the dirty dishes aside and placed the yam directly on the dirty sink to peel it. In that moment, I felt completely traumatized and emotionally checked out.

Beyond cleanliness, I also started feeling unappreciated in the relationship. On her birthday, I called her early in the morning, posted her on my WhatsApp status, and celebrated her the best way I could at the time, even though I was broke. Yet she still complained that I didn’t make her birthday special enough. Meanwhile, on my own birthday, there was no call in the morning, no thoughtful gesture, nothing until later at night when she casually said she forgot because she had been going through a lot. What hurt me more was that I had actually bought her gifts for her birthday, including a designer bag and matching slippers I personally made for her. It wasn’t really about material things; it was the imbalance in effort and thoughtfulness.

I also noticed the same imbalance in everyday life. Whenever she visited my place, I was usually the one cooking, cleaning, and taking care of things even while working from home as a shoemaker. Most times she would just sit pressing her phone while I handled everything. She barely cooked for me throughout the relationship, and eventually I stopped going out of my way because I started feeling taken for granted.

Money became another issue. She would borrow money and either delay repayment or never complete it. As a shoemaker, the money I receive for jobs is not pure profit because most of it goes back into materials and production. Yet I still found myself lending her large amounts from jobs I was supposed to complete quickly. Even when she paid back partially, it felt emotionless, almost like she didn’t recognize the inconvenience it caused me.

The final straw happened recently when she visited me during a very busy work period. She suggested we spend the night in a hotel even though my house was already comfortable, and I agreed. I paid for the room, and when food was ordered later that night, I still ended up paying almost everything despite already spending heavily on the hotel. The next day, after returning from the market exhausted from buying materials for work, I expected to at least meet food at home since all the ingredients were available. Instead, I walked into a kitchen with bread wrappers and milk sachets scattered around while she had already eaten without cleaning up after herself. I still ended up cooking for myself.

The following morning, after she made food during the night, she left the kitchen in complete disorder again. Pots, plates, and leftovers were everywhere while I woke up early to continue working. Rather than cleaning up, she sat watching TikTok videos. Eventually I had to pause my own work to clean the kitchen myself because I couldn’t stand the environment anymore. At that point, I realized I was mentally exhausted.

What made everything clearer for me was understanding that this wasn’t just about dirt or money. It was about incompatibility. I realized I was constantly carrying responsibilities that should have been shared. I’m not against people hiring cleaners or getting help. I also take some of my clothes to dry cleaners. But there’s a difference between getting assistance and being unable to handle basic responsibilities yourself. If someone who is meant to clean your house doesn’t show up, there should still be a basic ability to sweep, organize, remove trash, and maintain a healthy environment. I couldn’t understand depending entirely on other people for something so fundamental.

At some point, I stopped seeing peace in the relationship. I started feeling drained instead of supported. Even during intimate moments, she would make comments like, “If you leave me, I will haunt you,” and although she may not have meant it literally, those kinds of statements only made me more uncomfortable emotionally.

Eventually, I accepted the truth that we are simply not compatible. I don’t hate her, and I’m not trying to paint myself as perfect. I just know that I can no longer continue in a relationship where I constantly feel emotionally exhausted, unappreciated, and burdened. I’ve reached a point where I no longer want to argue, explain, or force things to work. I’ve already made up my mind that the relationship is over, and at this point, I just want to walk away peacefully and move on with my life.

What do you think? Be nice please

Google file photo used for illustration

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It will be nice to give a little detail about personal hygiene. Do you have to pinch your nose during horizontal mumbo jumbo?

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I silently pray that Tinubu wins. They already passed Kwara. Now in Oyo en route Lagos.

Prepare for tragi-comedy ahead.

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Tinubu will fix Nigeria...when his tenure is over. How do Nigerians see clear and present danger, live in squalor and yet refuse to acknowledge it? That's why it is safe to worship God but not the one that created Nigerians.

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How many gallons of fuel did they use to roast the policeman?


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What if the man loses his job?

N150k turns to N0k.

She is an ingrate. Although I don't see why a married man with a pregnant wife earning meagre N280k/month will still be supporting his parents and siblings. Going by her maths, it doesn't seem like the man is saving anything for maternity and baby. He needs all the money he can save right now.

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Na man be Blessing?

Waiting for Mr. Jennifer ....

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Why do people hire househelps?

Even some single ladies hire househelps.

Oh well... Continue.

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Ployploy:
Every man have their own type of women they love to marrie or date
BBW women are one of the best women
So guys what your thoughts
Which of this Beautiful BBW women will you pick ?

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Insulting those men is like insulting people who drink garri. Let the poor breathe.

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Uzo really cleaned up.

Wishing her all the best.

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okomile:
O ti lu le


Who told this minister of darkness that he can be a governor

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How did he manage to get 19000+ votes?

It shows how irredeemable some Nigerians are indeed.

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I don't understand.

The man has been dutifully sharing the proceeds with her. Or she thinks money falls from heaven?

There is no free meal.

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KnowledgePower7:
Never Marry A Female Content Creator

Anytime I go on Facebook I always see my uncle wife misbehaving online and calling it content creator

All her life is documted in video.
She shares screenshot of private messages online

Any small thing she run to social media and tell the whole world what happened.
Imagine she video her son breastfeeding and uploaded it. A very private moment

Now my uncle was seen as a no nonesense man, but the way this woman talk too much about their personal things is baffling.
She will even post after they had sex🙄

There is no single privacy

Then the one that burst my head was when she started uploading sexy pictures with half revealing clothes😤😤 A married woman oo

I used a burner account to advice her to stop doing this and she insulted me and blocked me.

The husband go dey work
Him wife go dey embarrass the whole family online in the name of content creators
Now the respect for this man don reduce because he now looks like a weak man and the wife looks like she is running the show

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Did your uncle complain to you?

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Akell:
Every few months, social media erupts with another shocking story of a man discovering that the child he raised is not biologically his. In response, some people now argue that DNA testing at birth should become a standard hospital procedure.

Supporters believe compulsory DNA testing would:

• prevent paternity fraud,
• protect men from deception,
• reduce future family disputes, and
• provide medical and genetic certainty from birth.

Opponents, however, argue that it could:

• undermine trust in marriages and relationships,
• increase broken homes,
• create a culture of suspicion, and
• unfairly stigmatise women and children.

There are also broader concerns about:

• privacy and data protection,
• the financial cost of testing,
• possible government abuse or regulation, and
• whether Nigeria’s healthcare system even has the capacity to implement such a policy effectively.

So, what do you think?

• Should DNA testing at birth be compulsory, optional, or discouraged?

• Would you personally support it within your own family?

• Is trust enough, or should science settle these questions once and for all?

Ladies and gentlemen of Nairaland, over to you.

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Necessary? Yes.
Mandatory? No.

How do you create scenarios where others can learn? Simps are needed for case studies.

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They are both sissies.

The one that cried in public and the one that cried in private for being cheated on. A real man would observe, do the needful and nobody will hear about it. It will stay as unsolved mystery.

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Olaolar:
All this loan app will crick advertisment on net everywhere ..
like borrow 50k to pay 51 borrow 100k to pay 101k

. they're all big fat lairs.

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There is always something good in a bad situation.
Debts have destroyed many friendships. Loan Apps filled the void. Those chronic debtors can now appreciate those friends that lent them with no interest rates yet they refused to pay.

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There is that beautiful lady you can date but something tells you to avoid her. That's Changan cars in Nigeria. The planned obsolescence in these cars are appalling. The more electronic gadgets, the more headaches when they go bad, which they will eventually do. Or won't a Nigerian mechanic be the one to open your bonnet? Availability of parts, knowledgeable mechanic and the Nigerian terrain should be your major concerns.

To buy easy. Na to maintain be wahala.

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People built the APC. Defectors are generally seen as opportunists and are reduced to spectators in the scheme of things. That's what happened.

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He is speaking like a slowpoke that he is. In Nigerian politics, everyone can see the interests but most keep it inside. Pascal was openly announcing that he wants his bread buttered. Pretense is part of the game. All of a sudden he wants to be an Igbo victim

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This is a sample test of the integrity and methodology of the new APC INEC chairman. He is going to be far worse than Mahmoud Yakubu.

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N1k to vote APC?

And when bandits ravage their communities, they want sane folks to empathize with them.

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kimjessey2019:
He is lucky Frank isn't a bad guy.

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That's the only reason he is still in existence.

But he doesn't realize that yet. They will cheer him to an early grave and then turn around to yab him.

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When it was happening in Kwara and Niger states, the residents of Oyo seemed unconcerned just like Lagosians right now. E go reach everyone.

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I thought Benin/Edo is the kingdom of cultists. What are those cowards doing to protect their city?

Life is meaningless in the country and that's why faced with existential threat, the citizens appear nonchalant. Where else in the world can this happen without the citizens taking it upon themselves to destroy the menace?

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hisexcellency34:
Throwback picture of Chief of Staff to the President, Femi Gbajabiamila and lawmaker representing Surulere Constituency 1, Desmond Elliot when the going was good.

Can they still sit together like this in future?

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He proved to be useless in his two tenures.

Is he not the youthful rep member that built that popular toilet in his constituency? Is he not the one that called for intolerance and high-handedness against the EndSARS protesters?

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andy4d2ofus:
I received a credit transfer of 500k into my account from an unknown person.
What should I do next. I don't want trouble, pls advise .

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Unmerited favour---answer from above.

Patapata na police station go settle am.

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As expected, I said that Oyo will be next frontier after Kwara before they finally land in Lagos. Nigerians should continue playing ostrich and cheering the rehabilitation of terrorists.

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It is simple.

God is all forgiving.

Let him(?) forgive Satan first.

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Let's hope that Jesus cares about this.

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Princedapace:
I was battling with network issues recently, and it reminded me how difficult it has become to survive here. There is no stable electricity. Most of us survive on generators.

South Africa achieved significant progress in electricity within two years, yet after four years, nothing meaningful has changed here. It is still the same story and the same daily struggle.

Now, remove emotions for a moment and look at the reality:

A kilogram of gas is about ₦1,400. That is extremely high for a country with very low salaries.
A crate of eggs is between ₦5,500 and ₦6,000.
A bag of cement is around ₦12,000. This is one of the reasons house rent has skyrocketed, because many citizens can no longer afford to build homes.
Renting a 2-bedroom apartment in most state capitals now starts from about ₦2.5 million and above. That is insane for a country where the majority of citizens are struggling financially.
Fuel is around ₦1,400 per litre.

Fuel powers our generators. If you run two businesses, you may need two generators.

For someone like me who works online, I need electricity almost 24/7. A huge part of my income goes into fueling and servicing generators because, most nights, my generator runs till morning. I work with clients across different time zones, sometimes at 2AM.

What does all of this mean?

Our purchasing power has dropped drastically.

Yet, despite these realities, the tax burden keeps increasing.

I honestly want to ask: does the government truly understand what Nigerians are going through?

Even someone earning ₦25m–₦30m yearly in today’s Nigeria is not necessarily living comfortably. A large percentage of that income already goes into solving basic social problems and surviving.

You pay for:

Electricity
Security
Healthcare
Transportation
Water
Education

Everything.

So where exactly is the money left to pay huge taxes from?

How many Nigerians can genuinely save millions yearly after handling all their responsibilities as parents, children, and providers?

To survive, many people are already being forced to reduce their quality of life:

Cutting down electricity usage despite terrible heat
Moving children from good schools
Switching from bottled water to sachet water
Selling better cars for cheaper alternatives because of fuel costs
Cancelling vacations and basic comfort

The painful part is that many self-employed Nigerians hustle endlessly just to stay afloat, yet at the end of the year, they are still expected to pay heavy taxes.

One of my friends, despite earning what many would call “good money,” is already in debt because of school fees and living expenses. Yet, government expectations are based only on income figures, not the harsh realities behind those figures.

And remember, this is a country where many parents depend on their children financially just to survive.

Honestly, many leaders cannot relate to what ordinary Nigerians are facing because:

Their electricity is sorted
Their security is sorted
Their healthcare is sorted
Their feeding is sorted

So they may never truly feel the pain of the average citizen.

Dear Nigerian leaders, Nigerians are suffering.

We are exhausted.

What could be done differently?

Reduce excessive tax burdens. Maybe 3 percent for now. Please, this country is poor or increase the threshold to maybe 50m per year if you truly wants to target the rich for income tax.
Fix electricity.
Tackle corruption seriously.
Improve security so farmers can return to farms safely.
Support the tech economy so more young people can earn online.
Invest in skills and digital opportunities.
Cut down excessive government spending and luxury packages for politicians.

Nigeria is a poor country with multidimensional poverty. In many homes, one working person carries the burden of an entire extended family.

Tax should not be the first priority when citizens are already struggling to survive.

As I write this now, my area is in complete darkness again. Families will spend heavily on fuel tonight just to have light for a few hours.

So I ask again: after paying for survival, where exactly should the tax money come from?

We are tired.

The bills are too much.

please can someone push this to front page?

I want to understand why the sacrfice must be done by the suffering masses instead of the politicians. I am curios to know why. Why must I suffer what I didn't cause?

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You asked for one reason. But I will give you two reasons. I am glad you didn't ask for a "good" reason.

1. He is a Yoruba.
2. He is a muslim.

A typical Nigerian will definitely vote tribe and religion over personal or communal interests. After voting, they join the rest to bitch, whine, wail and complain. It is a generational curse.

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He fell for the scam.
Community people will encourage anyone with money to come and represent them politically. They know that campaigns come with money and freebies. They have disappointed many people before and Pascal's case is no different. As a hustler that he claims, he should understand that what they did is village political hustling.

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