₦airaland Forum

Onwelu onye ozo ima Oga Agaba, dika onye Igbo. Mu na Jenny ga akari, ezijegoro m ya e-mail ka o okawatara m nke oma mana m choro ijutakwu mmadu ole na ole. Dalu my brother

Ndeewo nu

Nwa okpu Anambra  inaluona, Nnoo. Ndi umu ada ibe gi nokwa ebea biko bia bie anyi oma Nnenne.
Yeah, this is how we do it in our beloved Anambra, Pslm23 isn'nt it?

Nneoma biko ubochi ozo ibatara ebea, cheta suo Igbo maka na imegho etu aghu, anyi bu umu okpu adaa gi ngha. Imakwa na ejighi umu okpo egwu egwu, gbakwaara nsogbu umu okpu oso. (Ivynwa dodo aka na nti ya n'ekwu si) "Akam adighikwa ya"

Sisi abeg no chide the poor girl too much, heart break does make one act unreasonably. She should shake it off her shoulder, respect her self worth and move on but the heart does hurt when such happens and when people come here to unburden their heart, we should give them the shoulder to lean on, don't you think?

Yeah Babes, I'm here listening Buzugee but how you come dey call me coconut head now (sulking) after I don pray say all of us go get plazas for Nigeria. Na waa for you-u-o-o, I think say me and you don become 5 and 6 sef. Anyway sha you are right about clothings diminishing in value fast but many will not think like that because we have this inherent desire to look sophisticated so the more expensive the more most will want to buy. If there is any other good business after food, it is the clothing business.  

Dongeria or LonNig are the same country located somewhere in Africa.
It is an African Island and It is so new that people are clamouring here to buy their real estate. Better make haste while the sun shines.

Not really dear. I am in this new country known as Dongeria-----smile

@Buzugee
The only way I passed JAMB was by taking the advice of a family friend who taught me that "You must read in-between the lines". Now run along and reread my posts here so that you can realize your mistake and by the way I have some sweet jokes therein for you which can make you smile and brighten your day. You go boy!

@Ladej
Thanks my brother for your compliment.

@buzugee
Sweetheart, if you can picture me right now with the index fingers of my hands in my two ears and the other fingers waving at you and my tongue sticking out of my mouth with an expression of "Ntoo-o-o"(u can ask an Igbo person to interprete that for you) then you can understand what I am saying to you. Don't you read properly sweetie? I said that my cousin worked hard at his business (I am not here to sing the praise of my cousin but to encourage the poster and let him know that people are succeeding at things in Nigeria with a dint of hardwork). My cousin is no 419, he is only but a mere tenacious trader. Didn't somebody say here in NL that some in the Uk get jealous to see Nigerians succeeding at home-----Smile. I  didn't take the person on but the way you attacked me here, e be like say that gave you heart attack my brother. Never mind, do not be shaken by the success of others because you will soon be counting your own plazas when God's time for your blessing reaches.

Most of you that are bashing this guy are doing so because you are more fortunate than he is in the search for better life like every other person in the world. He has committed these offences in actual fact but it is still all in a bid for a better life, it does not give a good feeling to be in a foreign land and having immigration problems so I am sure the poster is weighed down as he was writing and pouring out his unhappiness. There are times to rebuke, correct and lend a brother a shoulder and what should be done here is correct and comfort not insult, bash and rebuke please.
I also agree that it's high time we all put away the idea that the grass is greener on these other lands we migrate to, one can achieve a lot in our good old Nigeria with hardwork and I just see our country as being in a certain kind of hidden boom right now which those with foresights are benefitting from. I noticed that Nigeria is in between the movement from developing to developed stage, standard of living is improving for most, most people have cash to spend which is boosting trading, businesses & banks are getting bigger and some people are out there quietly benefitting from all these. A cousin of mine never left Nigeria but worked so hard at his business that he has many houses and a booming plaza in one of the choice business area. The only time he had to travel out of Nigeria was merely for a short holiday/sightseeing with wifey. So yes I agree like the Americans once told themselves in the olden days (when there were drifts across the states) that we should begin to cast our buckets where we are. All in all brother man in detention camps, I send you lots of hugs okay Baby. Do not despair much, if they will eventually deport you then see how you can speed things up and save your time so that you can get home and start something great for yourself okay Baby. Take care of you-u-u-u

-------And I-I-I-I- will a-l-w-a-y-s l-o-v-e y-o-u-u-u-u Whitney my Babygirl along with the extra patches of skin that comes with being in ones's forty. Shoo-shoo-shoo-sho-bay-du, cos right now I -wanna- dance-with-somebody. With-somebody-who-l-ov-e-s me-e-e-e-e[i].(Ivy dances happily out of the thread)[/i]

Just like I exclaimed after reading that miraculous story-----Alleluiah!

@190
Sweetheart please hold on to that 3000+ faith God just increased for you and run with it. Hoping it makes you stop philandering and being mischievious in NL. Where is your babe Omotola? Omonwa please help us ensure that that faith stays overnight at least or you can take him to a certain Holy Japhet church in the thread below so that they can do"Bamitism" on him. (laughing)

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-492875.64.html

Love her. Love can melt hearts and achieve a lot, I feel for your unhappiness. We shouldn't chide you much for being too askance and always wanting advice about her. You really want solutions to your problems and when one does not have anybody to talk to, one can't help spilling the unhappiness thru the computer but let's put an end to the complaints with this question you just asked and begin to work on the solutions. The tete-a -tete you had with her is a very nice one, if you keep nursing that unhappiness and acting distant and she gets on like that too, it will keep being hot and hot so it was wise of you to sit her down and talk to her. You need more of that talk with her, let me repeat what I have advised before. Put on your real "I love you mode" and tell her that you love her even when you don't love the things she says when she gets angry, that you desire to have a very blissful home with her and that you need her for you two to make it work. Perhaps you too can agree on a name or a phrase that can be your control mantra for her. When she gets angry and begins to get out of hand you can keep quiet and call her that name or tell her that word to remind her to calm down.  More understanding and love may do the magic, more as in double your affections and tender loving care for her, pet her more, begin to do the chores again even more and let her know that it will make you happy if she shows appreciation when you do that. I am sure she will not take that for granted again. 

I tried to hold this(because I got a bit shaken by your last post)  but I can't help not saying this
Wetin dey make she dey open hands dey slap you like that, she dey craze for head? Make she take am easy o o shoo, I am sure if that fourth one was not retaliated she would have been beating you by now. Make she pull herself together, wetin? What is even wrong with her, is she s-t-u-p-i-d? I wish I can see her so that I can ask her that to her face MTTTCHEEEEEEW.
It is true that we women most times run in the mouth which is where we have strength the most but for one to begin to slap her husband is not acceptable.That is why I said that one or two women should sit her down and put her in her place. I do wish you put on more level of patience, bear with her some more and try to win her over with love. Romans 12 ending says that when you return good for wrongdoing, that you will make the wrongdoer burn with shame. Hope that can make her over. I wish you lots of luck joo.

@Jennykadry
I am not sure but do you reside in Australia?

All I can say is that I am amazed at the composure, maturity, wisdom and kindness of this poster. I really wish your marriage will turn around a new leaf for you because you deserve the best. I also pray that things haven't gotten out of hand so that the alternative of abortion you mentioned won't be an option.

33 Chilean miners have been trapped half mile into the ground when the mine they were working in collapsed on August 5th. A huge rock that blocked the mine made it impossible for them to come out leaving their only chance at survival to the drilling of that rock which according to experts will take close to four months to drill. This is merely the report of the experts and not that of God, I beseech all of us to join force and pray and fast(even if it is a 2 hours fast) for them so that God who has been kind enough to sustain them for three weeks now can save them through the traumatic ordeal. The country of Chile and its people are doing a great job in helping them in ways they can, you can read it through the links below. It's heartbreaking to imagine these men in that situation. God is a waymaker, may he make a way for these men through the rocks, underneath the earth, God can miraculously make another way other than that rock. May he cause their rescue to happen sooner than the experts predicted in Jesus name we all pray, Amen, Amen, Alleluiah.

http://www.csmonitor.com/From-the-news-wires/2010/0826/Chilean-miners-told-of-long-wait-for-rescue

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/americas/08/26/chile.miners/index.html?hpt=C2#fbid=NkoZu1TLXaL&wom=false

I forgot to add that while we are at it that we can also pray that succour may come to the many that were rendered homeless by flood in Pakistan.

@Deniyor
I agree with you that others should not be allowed to meddle in a marriage and I just checked the poster's posts and also agreed that he did publicize the problems more than he should. My suggestion is not for these NLander ladies to meddle, not at all. So many people have solved great problems thru the advise of wiser persons in NL. That lady should not be left to kill off her marriage out of ignorance and anger, somebody that has drawn the knife on her own sister and goes to the extent of not wishing her own husband good needs help to manage her anger and carry herself as a woman should. There is a time for women to help their fellow women by setting them aright and that is not meddling. If my friend which I gave as an example was not set aright by another more mature woman, she would have lost her marriage.

ivynwa:
@poster
Your wife is not a bad person, she was just not helped to mould her personality properly when she was growing up. It may not be her fault that she can go to the extreme of negativity like that perhaps whoever raised her up spoilt her, let her have her way always and she ended up not holding herself together and allowing herself get out of control in the anger department. She should not be written off and abandoned even though I am mad at how a woman can be setting fire on her own house like that but I understand the fact that she does not understand the gravity of her actions. If she has armed herself with that tiny but powerful simple knowledge that nagging is like the nails on the coffin of marriage and that it drives a man all the way out of the house, she wouldn't have been making all these mistakes. I think that if somebody quickly comes in to teach her, there will be a change for the better.
My advise
Let one or two very wise mature women in this Nairaland like Tolutara and Chaircover talk sense into your wife and teach her these things that she just doesn't know, she is only guilty of ignorance. I suggest that they make it seem like they are members of executive of your church women group who live abroad (since according to you she has accosted a church member out of jealousy and attracted the attention of your church women leader).This is to prevent her from knowing you talked to us here in NL. You can give them her phone number and e-mail address and act like you don't know them and allow them to counsel her. She will be better.
A girlfriend of mine in the University had terrible attitude problem, the only reason I got close to her was that I pitied the way other girls talk her down and snob her as the school authority discovered in our second year that she does not have her complete papers which made her an ineligible student.She stayed on in school wasted a whole five years. She was very careless and untidy, she later got married, had children and her careless behaviour almost cost her her marriage. Unwell kept home, covetousness---always wanting to be given things to eat, asking others for money but above all these she has a good heart and feels for others. I did try my best to get her off those behaviours but how do you tell your friend that she is "longer throat" or "dirty", I indirectly tried. Her marriage started rocking when her husband learnt that she wasted years in school for nothing, and he was at the verge of divorcing her when another stronger mature woman in their neighbourhood rebuked her terrible housekeeping and talked sense into her and there was a great change in my friend. She is still married even though we lost contact for years now but I am sure she is doing great now and so can your wife if brushed up by the right people.
Check yourself too
You were honest in saying that you are not a perfect person, you may be aggravating the situation. Are there ways you make her unhappy? Minding children is a career on its own and if she did say she was tired then do bear with her. You should be helping her , some men sometimes allow their wives chill a bit while they do the cooking for a change. Home keeping and child minding may be taking a toll on her and she needs pampering too, don't use harsh words in an effort to assert your position as the man of the house okay. Forget the anger in your heart for one day and do things you've never done in the house before, cook, wash clothes----tell her to rest. Buy her a card and write in it that she is your wife, that you are stuck on her b/c u love her and that you too can make it work and should begin work at doing just that, add flowers, perfume(You know what she likes) Change the formulas you too use in your bedmatics for a change(u know what I mean) give her great attention and dwell on her pleasure. Overlook yourself for once and see whether part of her anger is a reaction to unhappiness.

@poster
I had the post above here before but after reading your post in Nairaland and noticing that you publicize your marriage troubles more than you should.I had a second thought to delete my post but only left it because I still believe that good can come out of having a mature person not meddle but enlighten and talk sense into your wife. She sure does not know certain things a woman should not do and needs to be tactfully taught that and not left to nail her marriage in ignorance.
I also decided to put in that you need to put yourself together and act more maturedly too. You seem to really be aggravating matters a bit without knowing it. Don't always look out for the negative in her to recount dear, she sure has some positives that can be celebrated for a change.
I also came across this other man"s thread whose wife had an affair.
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-471546.0.html
You commented therein but did you notice how maturedly he handled that problem and peace returned to his house. A wiser older woman or two are enough to correct your wife not many members of your church, not through lots of complaints thread about your wife, not through a lawyer(you ain't divorcing her yet) and not through a negative pastor either. Get a grip sweetie.

Glory to God, prayer works. It was good of you to get into the spirit at that point in time and speak in tongue instead of despairing. Your prayers caused God to arise at that point in time. I am excited for you and your wife.

Oh sing for joy----to christ----our king
Don Moen

@Jenny
    I apologise if I offended you, I mustn't offend any of you. Jenny you forgot that we all have different perspectives and views to different things as a result of our experiences, our upbringing and the things we have been exposed to all the days of our lives. Mutter is forgivable because she did not set out to hurt anybody, she innocently said her opinion according to her perspectives. Please let us admonish in love okay Baby. Forgive her, I am sure she must have realized that the angle her comment came from was not the best.
I am also sure that this experience has added to her experiences the fact that when you talk to unmarried ones like us and mention menopause and happily talk about your wonderful battalion of sweet sons standing behind you (even when you said it innocently and did not mean to hurt anybody) people like me may shed tears that we do not have even one soldier to be proud of -----(please smile). Let us not hold that to her forever. She does have the carriage of a good woman. Diplomacy and Tactfulness is something we all mustn't forget to use when we deal with people, when we minus that and make innocent expressions and comment---it gets misunderstood and hurts the other which is what happened here.

SA
Glad to hear that you are younger than 41 after all, I can't wait for you to meet some sweet man and make us more soldiers or even beyonces-----smile.

SOME WEDDINGS! I am excited for the kitchen contracts and will be glad to hold down the kitchen end come next valentine.
Goodnight 190 and please for once quit being mischievious. Byeee, greet Omonwa.

190,
      Oya before I count 10 , begin to pick race comot here fast fast, wetin bring you come here sef? I thought girlfriend Omolola was keeping you busy and quiet. Oh, I forgot that Mama-Gee just entered here-----------I thought you have gotten over Mama since Omolola came into your Life------------smile
How are you preparing for that Valentine wedding with Omolola that you told me about, which Ashebi colour we go wear kwanu?

Thanks Mutter,
Glad that you cheered up after all.
Hope your babies are doing great? Don't I envy you ladies that have babies. I love babies very much.

@Mama Gee
I really feel for that lady and how frustrating it will be for her trying to shed off all that weight. Weights are very easy to pile on but not too easy to shed. I really miss not having the time to go Gym and exercise, I love to be very flexible and perfectly trim.

Ivynwa:
@Mutter Baby
You have my respect as a decent lady sweetheart and I am happy for your blessings, your marriages with great children and a man that love you. I am really happy for you believe me. I am not being sarcastic, your carriage throughout this whole hullabaloo shows that you are a decent person but has to go against your grain to prove some points as emotions and all ran high too. All in all mutter Baby, you disappointed me a bit when you told SA to her face that some women are grandmothers at her age, you don't ever tell your fellow woman anything that will bring her spirit down or make her feel old and ugly.Compliments get into the heart of women, tell her that she is too young for her age or that she is really beautiful and you will bring immeasurable joy to your fellow women and you even had to mention "old bones". Girlfriend you did her wrong, you hurt her to the marrow. She is a woman like you wading the water and keeping her head up, she does not need a fellow woman to tell her all of that. I myself don't like it when men abuse women for nothing but because they have lived some number of years that they termed "old". A woman shouldn't be found doing that sweetheart but I am not holding this against you. We all have different perspectives in Life about different things as a result of the different things and experiences we have been exposed to which is why you are innocent in thinking that sister Bollyfolly should go for an older man.You are entitled to your opinion but you do not have it very right in thinking that Bolly needs 4 years to make only 2 children. Bolly can deliver 7 twins next year and can even have 12 within 4 years so you see that was a bit wrong. I am not nailing you to the cross sweetheart, I only want you to see where you were sweetly wrong and ended up offending SA and getting on the nerves of Jenny who kindheartedly came to the defence of SA.

Ivynwa
your words are well coated but the message has gotten across to me.
So I do not have a right to my opinions.   (You do and I said so)
Is this not a forum where everyone can express their views.    (It sure is Baby)
Okay I get the message. The were justified in abusing me because I provoked it. I should be nice to my fellow women and tell them lies.   (Abusive words were used by all and I justified none for that, you were honest and told them no lies but there are sweeter ways that should have been said)
Whats wrong in saying that some women at 40 are grandmothers it is a fact.    (The tone----- Diplomacy Baby, Diplomacy! that way it won't hurt)
Okay sorry oh, the woman in question can have 20 children in 4 years.    (Alleluiah, Amen! for Bolly)
Jenny only wanted to come to the defense. You have overlooked the fact that this is her attitude in almost any thread.   (Nobody is perfect, not you, not me
In a world where women start dating even at 16 how do you define a woman at 40.  (Sweet, beautiful and as strong as SA Goddess but not old much more a granny)
Please try to be neutral when playing Judge.     (I ain't no Judge, sweetheart just one of your fans)
Not withstanding I appreciate your effort but wish to plead my fundamental right of freedom of speech.      (You always have it Sweetie)

Don't feel hurt okay Baby, I understand how you feel. Didn't mean to hurt you really. I did mention that it wasn't nice Jenny called you unprintable names that a responsible married woman with six soldiers(what great blessings!) does not deserve.

@Jennykadry
Jenny please help me say "sorry" to Mutter, she did only express herself however much it did not go down and well with some of us. She didn't actually set out to hurt SA initially. Most people that migrated to foreign countries went in search of better lives for themselves and their families, you ladies that had the opportunities to do that should not bicker over the how, whys,wheres and what of trying to survive in Germany. Even if some white man was kind enough to support any to get the best of the country, it should be a thing of joy. We humans are all struggling for survival. Somebody should be a sport and apologise for peace sake please. Thanks to you all.

Excuse me, MTCHEEEEEEEW

When mothers and Fathers arise to bed their children should we be asked to accept that too and sweep all that under the carpet of "a world getting too sophisticated for its own good".

ORDER IN THE COURT! That's exactly what I feel like saying not that I am joking because right now I am being very serious with you my fellow decent ladies. I mean enough words have been exchanged to the point that the 3 of you Jenny, Mutter and SA Goddess that I respect very very much are at the verge of---------- I can't even find the word to use, infact I chose not to use any word because I mustn't offend any of you. I only want to talk to you like my fellow ladies. Let nobody think that I am playing the judge here, I am not, I am only trying to take away discord and bring back mutual respect to each and every one of us.

@Mutter Baby
You have my respect as a decent lady sweetheart and I am happy for your blessings, your marriages with great children and a man that love you. I am really happy for you believe me. I am not being sarcastic, your carriage throughout this whole hullabaloo shows that you are a decent person but has to go against your grain to prove some points as emotions and all ran high too.
All in all mutter Baby, you disappointed me a bit when you told SA to her face that some women are grandmothers at her age, you don't ever tell my fellow woman anything that will bring her spirit down or make her feel old and ugly.Compliments get into the heart of women, tell her that she is too young for her age or that she is really beautiful and you will bring immeasurable joy to your fellow women and you even had to mention "old bones". Girlfriend you did her wrong, you hurt her to the marrow. She is a woman like you wading the water and keeping her head up, she does not need a fellow woman to tell her all of that. I myself don't like it when men abuse women for nothing but because they have lived some number of years that they termed "old". A woman shouldn't be found doing that sweetheart but I am not holding this against you. We all have different perspectives in Life about different things as a result of the different things and experiences we have been exposed to which is why you are innocent in thinking that sister Bollyfolly should go for an older man.You are entitled to your opinion but you do not have it very right in thinking that Bolly needs 4 years to make only 2 children. Bolly can deliver 7 twins next year and can even have 12 within 4 years so you see that was a bit wrong. I am not nailing you to the cross sweetheart, I only want you to see where you were sweetly wrong and ended up offending SA and getting on the nerves of Jenny who kindheartedly came to the defence of SA.

@JennyKadry
You are a wonderful Nigerian woman and I have maximum respect for you too, as you can see I already complimented your kindheartedness (for coming to SA's rescue) while talking to Mutter. It pleases me no end that the 3 of you ladies are perhaps mothers and have children and are all classy, sophisticated ladies in my book. I understand what made you lose your cool here, I almost felt like lashing out at Mutter for talking to SA like that but told myself that it is forgivable as our views of things can never be the same. Now you must chill and stop being mad at her okay. You ladies allowed yourselves incense one another to the point of using the word "Ashewos". That mustn't be found among classy ladies please okay Baby. Infact you did not even use that word because we are going back to that post to have most of those posts deleted. Yes sweetheart! You don't want people looking at all those words all of you threw out here and looking down on you. Do you?

@SA Sweetheart
I felt like massaging your heart because many people used very very unfriendly words on you that you do not deserve and for no reason at all. It is not a crime to be 41, you are a beautiful woman and I was overjoyed on learning from your post that you have a son. I am very happy for you okay Baby. You are a strong woman and did not allow others and the views they have of things to bring you down. You stood up for yourself like that and stood tall too like only a great woman can.It is true that Mutter offended you but do let go and forgive her okay. You must agree with me that some words that were thrown around here when Jenny came to your defence were not befitting of us decent and sophisticated ladies and that they are better off deleted so you can go ahead and delete if you agree with me.

@Jenny, Mutter and SA
Just like Mutter said we ladies should not be one another's enemies. You can imagine the challenges each of you are facing rearing children, keeping your home and still struggling, working hard and hustling for survival. The best we can do to ourselves is exchanging ideas on how to be great mums than what just happened here.Please I want to see you 3 make up and apologise to each other and if possible delete all those "not too good" words okay sweethearts. The only words we are leaving behind are nice words. You all are too mature and sophisticated for this please. Now don't disappoint me and make me look like a fool just for trying to make peace. Don't keep quiet on me like I wasted my time writing this for nothing, I sure deserve a little something which only your apologies and make-up can give me okay Babies. Now let's see who is even the sweetest?-----smile

@Ohsisi and Ileke-Idi

Egwu unu ahu tokwara uto mana otakarigho nke a m huru n'anya nke ukwu. O bu Egwu Jesus by Sister Ogechukwu, Nezie n'ezie egwu ahu na eme m nnukwu obi anuri. Ngwaa leenu ya gere----


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm3oToVTEn0


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDCdTWlAL_M

@Agaba

Ewoo! Agaba Nwanne mmadu, amakwanu m n'obu anya ka i na atabiri m. Kedukwanu ihe i na atabiri m anya, i na e feel hot?----(biko chia ochi ntakiri). Ngwanu ndo nwanne m nwoke, biko ewela iwe. Egwu biara m mgbe m huru udi attack ahu igbara m. Biko kaba ahu fichapu ihe ahu igwara m n'ihi na m efichapu go akuko ochi ahu nke mere na onye guo ihe idere o gaghi aghotazi ihe ina ekwu. Ighotara ihe m kwuru. Ngwa nodu nke oma nwanne, udo diri gi.