₦airaland Forum

Lovren: Kenyans. The tireless atlethes.

Make some noise for Pendo's People!

shymmex: Nah, it's not even that - cap28 is just too deep for most of the people on this forum..

People naturally critique what they don't understand..

Shymmex abeg abeg.
Yeah, yeah there are times his deep talks are enjoyable I must say.
Have fun guys!

shymmex: I hear that, bruv..

Don't let them change you..

Hahaha #Shymmex
You sure know how to make a person feel good about himself/herself.
I like that.

cap28: hahaha - I'm bitter because I'm telling the truth?



I pay taxes in this country you know and i have a right to voice my opinion on anything concerning it.


Their wealth was built on the transatlantic slave trade why do you not want to hear this ?


they are the rich country they are today because the stole your labour and natural resources - why do you have a problem hearing this?


they are also still milking nigeria and the rest of africa dry via their multinational corporations and banks they keep you poor so that they can remain rich.

and yet you defend them - God save me from nigerians!

Hahaha! Cappy Baby, abeg allow them show the world their culture kwanu joo. Even if it isn't entertaining and they did not show the world the contributions of the labour of the African slaves make we bear with them. If they have shown a little bit of that, you of all people may still have something to say about it. Cappy Nwa anyi ga enwe(we go chill) later in one of your great threads.

cap28: This is what you call white washed imperialism - repackaged and made to look all nice and cuddly.

They along with the United States and Israel are going to attack Iran very soon you know but if you were to base your knowledge of their history on this you would be forgiven for thinking they were the epitome of kindness.

Jeez I didn't know we were getting more of that, Cappy let up a bit please. All that bitterness is not healthy for one person I beg you. You dey live for their land, dey benefit from all their social services and still dey vent anger on top of them. Chill Baby. Wait make we enjoy this-----wait wait it looks like they are doing my kinda thing right now. A little hippie and a lil rythms and blues. Wow

cap28: A staggering £11 billion pounds- and yet britain is supposed to be in the worst recession since the great depression of 1929!

Funny how they left out the enslavement of african people whose labour on the plantations of the carribean islands and north america kick started their industrial revolution.

Cappy Baby don come again o-o, Nnaa can't we enjoy Olympic without being reminded of how the whites are maltreating us. You should let up a bit Sweetie. I know you love your Africa for sure but come on Sweet. Chillax.

Mr bean wan kill pesin, that was entertaining.

What's all that Harry porter drama, was that really entertaining? Huh.

Hey See Mr Bean!
Looks like we gotta get some laughter.

I couldn't help feeling touched reading about the charred, burnt and unrecognisable bodies. May they rest in peace and May God heal the heart of their loved ones whose heart must be broken over it all.

This poster so fr*aking has no mind of his own. WTFr*ak asking us that Jude can't be right that his babe is no more employable. I am sure that if she still has her job that you won't need Jude to make up your mind. I don't support for a guy to go marrying a woman without a made-up mind. If you are not ready to marry and she wants to marry simply tell her and she can look out for another relationship.

She doesn't have to rush to marry just because she has no accommodation, she can look for who to squat with if she can't rent while she quickly looks for a job or even use the 350k to start a lil thing doing.

Touching!
They are really close and love themselves much, such love! Oh dear!
May God give your family the fortitude to bear this double loss.

Sometimes when you take things too seriously, you can be affeced by the things around you that are not happeniong the way you want it. Try letting up a bit and whatever it is will stop bringing you down. Life is beautiful, don't harm yourself or do anything that will harm you. If you do, life continues and others keep enjoying it.

Tell yourself, I am going to be happy inspite of whatever that is and condition your mind towards being happy. Plenty hugs to you okay.

This is an enlightening thread for mothers and this issue of force-feeding babies is a very important issue. Another issue like that is being very very careful when giving babies swallows, mashed or chunky potatoes, yam etc. This link here http://test.guardian.co.tt/index.php?q=news/general/2010/05/04/baby-chokes-death-potato-and-peas shows that some of these can choke a baby to death. Size of swallow should be made very very small infact swallow should even be mashed up/softened before giving a baby. Chunks/morsels of eba/fufu/yam in its round piece can choke a baby on its movement down the throat. Even a mashed potato can still choke a child on its dry movement down the throat if the baby isn't giving breathing space and if the mashed potato is too dry.

There are other things I see people do with babies and even when our parents have done those in the past that are not very comfortable for babies. I have no problem with a child wrapped on its mother's back or front but a child wrapped on it's mother's front with it's feet hanging and dangling seems to me like a very uncomfortable position to have a child. It's most noticeable on some baby wrap slings people buy from baby stores. I put myself in that position and I know that if my feets are dangling away like that that I can't feel comfortable. Babies feet dangling on the back seems more comfortable than the front one. In the pictures below, I cringe when I see feets of babies hanging out as in baby slings 1 and 2. I have seen slings made with good feet support for babies. The writers of these links here (A)http://www.hipdysplasia.org/developmental-dysplasia-of-the-hip/prevention/baby-carriers-seats-and-other-equipment/?gclid=CLbv5_zLtLECFROd7Qod2SEA5A and (B)http://www.slingbabies.co.nz/Site/Positioning_2.ashx seem to think so too.

Mothers are also advised to make room/space for hip flexion, chest wall expansion etc when wrapping babies---more about that was mentioned in this write-up http://www.sidsandkids.org/wp-content/uploads/Wrapping.pdf

Did he ask you for the date of the wedding too and the date you are going to have your first and second child? A man you never asked for his daughter's hand in marriage. I think that the daughter is also overdoing it harassing you like that. A smart lady looks at her relationship with keen eyes to see where it is heading and if it isn't heading where she wants from all indications she can use her head and be open to meeting other people.

A man on the other hand shouldn't waste time for a lady if he knows that he isn't ready for her. Tell her the way it is in all honesty, don't deceive her into waiting and wasting her time. If you are sure you want a family with her, talk her into waiting for you and if she doesn't want to----she sure knows what to do.

I think that this father-in-law to be overstepped his boundary in sending you that text. It is parents like that that pressure their children into running away with just anybody so that they can be married like everybody else. You don't owe him an explanation biko, I have never seen where a man goes to ask his daughter's bf when he wants to get married to his daughter. Who you owe an explanation is his daughter. If you plan to settle down late 2013----explain to her and tell her your reasons. If she wants to wait for you she can wait, if she doesn't want to wait for you----she can choose somebody else from the other suitors coming for her.

As for her father----
When I read this thread yesterday, I had in mind that the right answer for him should be an honest "I am not ready now" but hadn't the time to post then. Now that I have given it a little thought I am thinking that you should ignore that message and call his daughter and explain things to her that way he should get the message that he overstepped his boundary, what he did is never done. Sending you a text to ask you that question is an embarrassing thing and if he is not careful he can drive away suitors for his daughter thru such. If persons in their neighbourhood are getting married, they shouldn't gang up on you because they must get married as others got married.

@Jannat
Hugs to you dear. Did he leave you alone in your house? Does he have another love interest somewhere? Be strong okay, yes try and sort it out with him as you said so that you can know what best to do. Do take care of yourself okay Baby.

He makes me laugh like no other. The minute we sight ourselves, we begin to crack jokes and make each other laugh. My father, my sister and I are a great team. The three of us draw surprising stares from our neighbours when we use to sit on the balcony and make ourselves laugh. My father makes words like "aforesaid" sound like aforsay and we all had to consult the dictionary when he was arguing that the word "afor" is in the dictionary as the word "afor" happens to be part of the olden days mgbeke name grandma gave him. He is so very sweet and I love him much.

You Babes!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Who got put in their place? And by whom?

Does my finding holes in your argument make you feel my opinion's being stuffed down your throat??

And no, we aren't talking here. You type, I respond & vice versa. But I am curious though - why are you on the defensive? [/quote]
You needn't to have done that Sweetie. Responding to who wasn't talking to you, nullifying what the person said and going ahead to impose your opinion on the person just the way you were stuffing your opinion down the poster's throat up in the posts. Sensitivity and mutual respect girlie. Au Revoir Sweet.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Now why would I want to impose my opinion on you? Or take your opinion away?

Lighten up abeg. It's called having a healthy debate.[/quote]Did somebody just got put in her place? Now Poster that is how you do it.
Imposing your opinion on others/stuffing the opinion down their throat isn't a healthy way to things.
Debating? Who said we were? We were just talking Babes. I choose to have fun while rubbing minds with people on the NL forum and not stuffing down/bossing around my opinions down the throat of others as you are doing. Do enjoy the rest of your day Sweetie

------that is your opinion girl just like I got mine. Imposing yours on mine won't take my opinion away. It's been nice chatting with you. The decision remains his.

You guys are getting more and more sickening by the day with your illuminati rantings.
One thing about life is that there will be cult after cult, likeminded good or bad people will in one way or the other come together to form a group.

The only time you bother with or draw the attention of others to it for them to beware is if they pose a danger to others so if Jayz, Kanye, Rihanna, Minaj, Psquare ,Dbanj and anybody else feels so good about themselves that they decided to form a little cult for themselves, let them do their thing as long as they are hurting nobody or deceiving people into bad things.

Ivynwa: I am not advising anybody getting killed slowly to keep quiet and stay until he loses his life yet the decision is his to take.

A simple drawing of boundary, sticking to it and standing up for himself may make her back down. He seems to allow her stand in his face too much. Do you think that a woman can dare beat up a no-nonsense person with the character of Okija juju or Beaf or Sagamite? He should man up and declare "end of violence" and if she rises to it and tells him "Now let's see who is stronger"-----he knows better than living in a warfront as a home and having a child see his mummy maim his dad. I wonder how it makes her feel to have her man walking around with injury she gave him.Sad!

My answer is in the post above, you just didn't read in between the lines enough to understand it. The decision is his, we have all been given thinking faculty and the spirit of discernment.

I am not advising anybody getting killed slowly to keep quiet and stay until he loses his life yet the decision is his to take.

A simple drawing of boundary, sticking to it and standing up for himself may make her back down. He seems to allow her stand in his face too much. Do you think that a woman can dare beat up a no-nonsense person with the character of Okija juju or Beaf or Sagamite? He should man up and declare "end of violence" and if she rises to it and tells him "Now let's see who is stronger"-----he knows better than living in a warfront as a home and having a child see his mummy maim his dad. I wonder how it makes her feel to have her man walking around with injury she gave him. Sad!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]^^ No. That's wrong.

Violence of any kind, especially in a marriage with kids should be avoided.

We get the moral of your story, but you can not compare your childhood experience to this situation. For starters, they live together so there's no chance of hiding away after hitting out at the other.

Secondly, and most importantly, he IS an adult male and most likely stronger than his wife. If he raises his hands against her in retaliation, it could result in casuality - possibly a fatal one.

The best he can do for now is to get the kids and himself out of that situation asap. Away from the violence. Then he should seriously consider what his next steps should be.

If he feels the marriage is worth salvaging, then they should get an unbiased intermediary. Depending on where they're based, it could be a marriage councellor, an elderly family member whose opinions they both respect, etc. In the meantime, his wife's anger issues should be addressed i.e anger management classes / psychiatric help.

If on the other hand he feels the marriage is not worth salvaging, then he needs to explore his exit route and support for their kids.

It is a sad situation going by what he posted. I do wonder though if he's given us the whole picture or if his version of events is the truth. There are two sides to a story afterall.[/quote]You took my post out of context dear, the only thing I said for him to do to make her back off is to seriously tell her that he is not tolerating violence. I never asked that he beat her and noted that at the beginning of my post to make it clear. I also mentioned in my first post that there may be more to the story than met the eye yet nothing justifies a woman beating up her husband or a man beating up his wife. The case I used was to buttress my point and drive the point home that it is the persons we allow to that throw their hands around our shoulder in friendliness.

If I get a beating from a spouse and I do nothing serious about it(like seriously let him know that that will never happen, infact that I can't take that rubbish) and instead keep quiet over it and keep loving him up good as if it is okay to beat me, he will continue beating me and may even do me great bodily harm knowing that I have accepted that. How can a man be walking around with marks of violence on his body from his wife? If he loses an eye to her violence, is it still okay to walk around near blind because he married a woman? Is the woman crazy or what? It's so undignifying and annoying which is what annoyed some people into calling him names for that.

Poster please put your wife in her place, don't beat her but let her know that her position is to be a wife not to make your life unpretty or do you intend to live the rest of your life being pushed and beaten around by a fr*aking violent woman? Sorry I hate to see these things, one other man came here to report how his wife slaps him etc, nairalanders did not even give him the attention they are giving to this thread now and I managed to ask him like I am asking here whether she is crazy or what? Thank you.

davades: @Ivynwa so u are still alive...jes read a post now dt u posted in 2010 abt a guy OCCULTIST...@a time I was afraid later I talk to maself dt dis is an empty threat...that's why I want to check on u, av sent u a mail

How can I not be alive Sweetie? I am alive and loving life. I haven't gotten your mail yet, I only got a PM notification which I replied

ogugua88: It's too early in the day for that o lol.

Tell them that girl.
The girls have no time frame on it with Tuface.
He sure is lucky Lol.

ogugua88: Lol some of you will laugh me. I actually hate the lollipop. Looks like the common Blowpop. It would have been more fun and playful if she had one of those giant round lollipops with loads of colors and layers. The lollipop she's holding looks like it was a last-minute prop from the bottom of someone's hand bag.

Wait -o talking about Lollipop, are they showing us how they lick man Tuface up real good?
Singing She lick him like a lollipop. No be me sing am -o na Lil Wayne.

@Poster
It just occurred to me to say this to you. I am not saying that to incense you or to make you beat up your wife but to make you stand up for yourself with boldness, who knows she may back down and never hit you again. SOMETIMES THE CHEEK YOU GIVE TO SOME PERSONS INSPIRES THEM INTO THINKING THAT THEY CAN SLAP YOU ON IT AND GET AWAY WITH IT. I mean some things you tolerate and accept gets thrown your way. The first time she started getting violent on you, you accepted it and she saw you as a walk-over and got worse. I am very sure about that human nature. When you boldly define the border that people can't cross with you, nobody messes with that.

When I was a kid growing up I was quiet and nice and lovely, one of the kids where we were living use to talk to me as he likes and one day he was so crazy as to come pat me on my br*ast and run away laughing-----Jeez, that I could not stand with my childhood innocence---by the time he returned to touch it the second time, I gave him a hot slap and funny enough I stayed upstairs/indoors for some days after slapping him and avoided him thinking that he may get violent on me, when next I saw him he was so afraid of me that he never messed around me.

The only reason this woman is getting violent on you is because she knows that you can tolerate it. If you are still staying in the marriage with her, tell her (with fire in your eyes, in all seriousness) that you are not taking it anymore and that that will never happen again. Biko what were you doing when she overshadowed you like that? You allowed it boy.

nasty45: cos urs cud b d nastiest ryt? I cn only imagine

Nasty boy go put some clothes on.
You so you so nasty boy
You so you so nasty boy
You so you so naaaaaaaasttyy boy.

Sorry I am only singing Beyonce's song to you. Haha

Simply get him a girlfriend and your belief that "all men are crap" will be verified.
Did you say doubting him to his face? Sounds like you are nagging the man much and pushing him against the wall-----e-e-e-m somebody else mentioned "stifling"-----. Beware of pushing him into the hands of another while you are it.

Why don't you just enjoy the love you gat and quit worrying about the "other woman"? You mean that you actually have all the passwords to his mails and socializing sites? Jeez girlie! Don't let people hear that. Who was that lady that sang "P*ssie watchman", somebody else need to sing " D*ck watchwoman" cause you are really keeping a watch on that d*ckie girlie. You is a d*ck watch woman oorrrrrrrrrrrrrr? Hahaha Now don't get mad at me we are just talking girl

Oh dear!
I hope you are able to help him and get to him thru words so that he can stop. You seem very concerned for him which is good and rare in our society where you will find people with such bad heart as to secretly rejoice/and mock their own cousins that are going thru that.

Did you say that you never knew that Nairalanders can help one think thru a problem? They've got great Pips here who have great heads for solving problems, wait till the crowd arrives and you will be amazed. You will get good laughs and plenty of sweet pieces of advice too. Gotta run go handle some weekend runs Ojare.

A good way of finding out what is worrying him is listening in on him when he is drunk and ranting. The particular thing he stresses on most while drunk may be the source of his worry. I know a fifty something year old man in our neighbourhood who has a terrible drinking habit that made him get demoted at work. He did not marry, has no children and whenenever he is drunk he is always talking about children, child and other things on his mind he has been musing secretly on.

On hearing him talk about children severally, I realized that he actually wanted children and on discussing that with two of his siblings they both said that he love children and is not happy that he is not married and has no child. I asked that they persuade him to marry and they replied that no lady will want him and his terrible drinking habit and this man is actually very handsome (mixed breed)but drinking has done him more bad than good. You need to see how his world lights up when he is sober and playing with a child----so the secret of what is driving him to drink may be found in his drunken rantings.