₦airaland Forum

Choiszman:
30 Things Nigerian Husbands Want And Expect From Their Wives:
1. Go and slim down. Do not let people take you for our mother when indeed you are our wife. We love to see you exercise and eat less.
2. Mind and control your tongue.
3. Keep the house clean.
4. Be hospitable, how you receive our friends and families matter to us. Make them feel welcome by coming out to greet them, serve them water if there is no drink.
5. Dress neatly and smart always, look good for us.
6. Do not disrespect us, we want to feel respected even with our imperfections, correct us with respect.
7. Treat us like a king, make us feel important and we shall treat you back as our queens.
8. Do not always claim right.
9. Be polite always.
10. Be quick to say "I am sorry".
11. Do not delay us when we have to go out together. Start getting ready well ahead of time and don't keep us waiting because we can be very impatient.
12. We don't like tension, make us smile and laugh around you and we will want to hang around.
13. We love good food, if you have to go to a catering school to make us eat well, please do.
14. We do not like nagging. When you make your request, believe in us to do it in our own time. No amount of nagging can change us.
15. Do not belittle or gossip us to anyone.
16. If there are issues that need be addressed, find a quiet time when we can talk, just the two of us not necessarily in the middle of the night when you're most likely going to disturb our sleep.
17. Do not prioritize others ahead of us, Make us your number one; Not the children, your friends, your family, your career, business, religion or anything around.
18. We love sex, do not withhold it. Never use it as a bargaining chip.
19. Be disciplined and wise in spending.
20. Be our friend and stop acting like our mom.
21. We can be jealous, do not get too close with the opposite sex on Social media. Seek our consent before accepting a male as Friend.
22. Do not paint us bad to the children, help them love and appreciate us.
23. Do not leave the home and children unattended.
24. Accept and relate well with our family members.
25. Assist us in paying the bills, if you earn well.
26. Do not try to pry too much by reading our mails and responding to messages meant for us without our consent.
Stop snooping and stalking us on Social media. Stop being suspicious of our female colleagues.Please stop acting like FBI,CIA or Mossad over our phones. They are our phones not yours.
27. Stop answering our calls without our permission.
28. Smile always, even when you are exhausted from tending the kids. Constantly frowning will scare us.
29. If you need our help, ASK. We cannot read your minds*.
30. Stop asking to know how we spend every dime. Just trust us and all will be well.
Lots of love,
-Nigerian husbands.

. Culled From Palmchat App

Ladies is up to you, what do you feel, do you agree?

100 % correct ... Dear lord God help me find a wife at least with 50% of this qualities.

7Alexander:
What you are about to read happened to me last week, I just had to bring it here, because the more I try to wrap my head around it, the more questions comes to mind.

About a month ago I moved to another city, but considering its a totally different culture, I have just been gradually trying to settle in. So, on Tuesday Last week, I noticed a plumbing issue in my room, for which I went to seek the caretaker who lives within the compound. I later found him in one of the rooms trying to fix some things for another new tenant who I will refer to as Sandra henceforth. I laid my complaints to the man and briefly spoke with Sandra who told me aje was an undergraduate.

About an hour later, the caretaker came to my room to checkout the problem I was having, Sandra came with him, and as we were making small talks, she walked into my kitchen and pointed out that my pots and other cooking utensils were still new and unused, then i told her I haven't started cooking because I don't know my way around yet, so I haven't been to the market. She then offered to go to the market with me whenever I was ready.

The next day being Wednesday I made a list of things to buy, among which were some packaged and canned foods, for this we went to a mall. After picking the items, we had to join the queue at the payment point, while there, I remembered some things which I needed but haven't included in my list, so I handed over my ATM card to Sandra and gave her the PIN considering it was almost our turn in the queue, then went to pick those things. Now, I did this because, I didn't want a situation where after paying for the original items, I will have to join a fresh queue with the new items. Although I came back just as she was about to pay, so I was able to include the new items, we laid and left. Suffice to say that I had her pick one or two things for herself.

On getting home, I immediately went to an ATM and changed my PIN, just to be safe.

Two days later, Sandra came to my room sound 7:15pm telling me she wanted to go buy relaxer and shampoo but as its getting dark that she can't go alone, and she asked that I come with her, I obliged, as you would expect.

After buying the shampoo, we started heading home. Now, there are two possible routes home, the sandy road which was nearer and the tarred road which was farther, Sandra then insisted we take the tarred road saying she didn't want sand on her feet, but that was the route we took while going.

Just as we approached my compound, 3 guys rounded us up and told us to handover everything we had on us. I have to point out that after this whole incident, I could recall that while we were walking home, Sandra was texting on her phone and kept looking back. When one of the guys made the request, Sandra now asked them 'for what' immediately one of the guys landed her a slap and pushed her down. Then he turned to me and gave me a blow to the mouth saying I was wasting his time, then he reached for my back pocket and retrieved my wallet, then he asked me the PIN, I gave him a wrong PIN the first time and this was met with a hot slap to my face, then he asked again and i gave him the same PIN again, then he gave me a kick to the hip, I was almost paralyzed, he now grabbed my throat, I had no choice than to give him the real PIN, then he left me and they ran off. Interestingly, the PIN I gave to him was the old PIN which I changed few days ago, but my intention was not to lie, in fact I meant to tell the truth, but then that PIN had stuck to my memeory as I have been using it for the past 3 years.

Immediately they left, I made a dash for my room, with Sandra in hot pursuit, but I didn't let her come to my room with me, I called the bank Customer Service and told them to block my card, although the thieves had the wrong PIN, I felt they could still compromise the card.

The next day, Sandra was in my room and she kept trying to get me to talk about the incident of the last day, but I wasnt interested, she kept asking me, if the PIN I gave them was the right one, I mean it should be, after all that was the right PIN as far as she knew, she asked if I could recognize the guys, I said no, she asked if its possible for the card to be hacked without the PIN, I was just acting ignorant, but I've already started having my reservations about her.

Later, I decided out of curiosity to check Sandra out on Facebook, while checking the photos on her profile, I saw pictures she took and uploaded with the same guy that slapped and pushed her down while we were been robbed, I was dumbfounded to say the least.

Then it became clear to me, she set me up to be robbed. Now my questions are,
Why did she insist we take the tarred road, considering we took the sandy road while going to the Shop
How come the thieves reached straight into the pocket with my wallet?
How come they never asked for our mobile phones, naturally, that should be their first question
How come immediately I gave the guy the 'right' PIN he acceded?
Who was Sandra texting while we walked home
And, the FB picture shows she knows the guy after all.

My problem now is, should I confront Sandra d tell her I know what happened or should I just let it slide? Since that day she's been trying to cozy up to me, but the more she tries the more I become worried and wary.
_Lalasticlala

Hmmm! Go straight to the police station with all the evidences, the Facebook picture, ur stories and arrest the girl, she will produce the guys.
Let help to expose criminal

mofeoluwadassah:
Jxt tell her ur mind nd see hw she ll react

Didn't u read where the writer said the girl demanded for money and he told the girl NO MONEY and the girl said "I AM DISAPPOINTED IN U"

gedtalks:
My people pleaseeee I need sincere advise here. Your advise will definitely guide me on the next step to take.

There is a beautiful girl I've been considering getting married to, but the way she requests money and fast food is making her look very ... lol.. "hungry" and opportunistic to me. The values she sees in a man seem to me like its basically what he will BUY for her. I confess that I made matters worse initially by "fast fooding" each time we meet... Now I think she sees me like a free lunch at crunchies. If I call her in the afternoon, she says I'm hungry.. its so irritating now.. in fact I lost a lot of regards for her..but she doesn't know yet.

Recently she asked me for some money and I refused very politely..she said she was "disappointed".

I wonder if she even loves any other thing about me asides the MONEY I WILL GIVE HER. she pays ABSOLUTELY NO attention the things I want her to see in me...like level of maturity, my leadership skills, I taught she was just being childish, but lately I discovered its just her nature. her ideology about a guy is WHAT WILL I GET FROM HIM.. I might dump her .. i wont even talk to her about it. please advise me

Good day my brother, u just said it all, she is not a wife, she's what we call ' fun girl ' she sees u as a Maga & ATM. What about if the money is no longer there tomorrow ....... Meaning that , she won't stay.
You better go get ur self a wife.
Remember, marriage is a life thing.
I wish all the best in ur endeavour.

shugabae:
Shey your mum was once a lady?

Received common sense now

soberdrunk:
Hahahahaha!! Sister wants to spoil show for boys, she is not a minor so why not mind your business . That girl is the real "Rita Claus" aka 'Animashaun' aka 'Givers forum queen' aka "Mama for the boys" aka............

Received sense in Jesus name. If she's ur sister, will u take it?
Received common sense in Jesus

Mimzyy:
I've never been the type to play hard to get. If I like you, I let you know immediately. No time for beating about the bush. If i play hard to get for so long then it means i don't want us together. #NoRegrets.

U have sense

tonio2wo:
All this places u just mentioned, is it in nigeria?

It's not in Nigeria o, it's in Ghana

chie8:
Read more. http://www.trezzyblog.com/2016/07/rev-sisterscatholics-protest-in-enugu.html

U guys carrying placard are big fools and cowards. Is that the solution? A foreigner came to ur Land killed ur people, rape ur girls and destroy ur property. Una dey carry placards. I hate foolish people

Uncle u don't move around with original certificate. Is there no photocopying machine in ur area? Bros u should have made copies. U see say ur name done turn to SORRY

[quote author=MrAdetunjiBayo post=45560324]We yoruba muslims support the
arrest of the ipod and why are they
not putting them in vans to haul them away. Maybe they were later releasedlike the ipod guy that confronted Rochas.
Anyway, we thank the british crown
for handing over nigeria to we
muslims. The crown must protect the present structure of nigeria so that more oil money will flow from the nigerian state to the British banks since they have zero resources. God bless the queen, buhari is great! Allah is the greatest![/quotes

So senseless. Bros, ur the definition of MUMU

“It is with a heavy heart I write you today our
brothers in the American army, to let you know
that your people back home in Biafra land are
being massacred, humiliated and dehumanized
on a daily basis. And the need for you to form
a formidable force and fight for the restoration
of our dear nation Biafra, with everything within
your arsenal.
“The President of the Republic of Nigeria
Muhammadu Buhari and Hausa-Fulani cabals
have vowed to wipe out Biafrans from the face
of the earth and occupy our land with impunity.
Right now, Biafra land is under siege. The
Fulani herdsmen cattle rearers (supporter of APC) are
invading our rural communities with AK47
rifles, other types of guns, machetes and
explosives, destroying our farmlands, raping
our mothers and sisters, killing our fathers and
youths, and razing our building.
“Over 500 people were massacred in Agatu
village Benue state of Biafra land, and their
properties destroyed. Many were also killed in
Awgu village in Enugu state and properties
destroyed by this supporter of APC. This Fulani
supporter of APC is now all over Biafra land killing us
and claiming our land belongs to them.
READ ALSO: The declaration of independence
of the republic of Biafra in 1967
“When we came out to peacefully protest the
illegal detention of our leader Nnamdi Kanu
who is still in prison till now and the
restoration of Biafra, the Nigeria army, police
and navy shot many of us dead and got many
of us wounded.
“On February 9, the Nigerian army collaborated
with police to massacred our people who were
singing and praying for the release of our
leader Nnamdi Kanu and the restoration of
Biafra, at National High school Aba, and
whisked away many of us who are yet to be
released or seen, and carried away the corpses
of those of us they killed on the spot to clean
up evidence, but little did they know that we
are wiser because the video of that pogrom is
all over the internet. They are killing us in our
land and yet trying hard to tag us, terrorists. It
is that bad.
“Currently, in Biafra land, the Nigerian army,
DSS, police and SARS are secretly kidnapping
our youths and killing them. Everybody is living
in fear as no one knows who is next. Our
principal officers are hunted like criminals
because they are working for the restoration of
our dear nation Biafra, even when self-
determination is a universal law.
“Hausa/Fulani and Yoruba oligarchy have
conspired against us again like they did in
1967 to 1970. They have vowed to frustrate our
businesses since we are the most enterprising
people in the contraption called Nigeria.
Markets where Biafrans trade, are razed down
or demolished at random. In Lagos State, Yaba
market, Ladipo market, Oshodi market were
demolished by Lagos state government without
prior notice to the Biafran traders who make up
over 90% of the traders in those markets. Ikosi
area of Ketu market was burnt down. In Abuja,
Gwagwalada market was demolished, and in
Kano Sabongari market has been razed down
twice. Even today April 21, 2016 , in Lagos, not
less than 50 shops of Biafrans has been razed
down. One Nigeria is dead already.
READ ALSO: IPOB will be prosecuted over Abia
herdsmen killing?
‘It is no longer news that Boko Haram is killing
our people who are living in the northern
Nigeria in hundreds of thousands and
destroying their properties, but the worst news
is that Nigerian government does not allow us
to carry our dead and bury them in Biafra land
rather they are buried in mass grave in Hausa/
Fulani land. This, you know is a sacrilege in
Biafra land because Biafrans do not bury their
dead in a foreign land.
“I call on all the indigenous people of Biafra,
serving in US army, navy, and air force to stand
up and add your voices in the fight for the
restoration of our dear nation, Biafra. Stand
shoulder to shoulder with our leader Nnamdi
Kanu, who is a prisoner of conscience (POC).
“If you are from Izon, Itsekiri, Igbo, Ibibio-Efik,
Igala, Idoma, Igbanke, Ogoni, Kalabari, Ikwere,
Okirika, Igbo-Akiri serving

Madam, u can tell that story to the birds. So you don't know the difference between medical instrument and a Dick. Kai some people can lie sha

[quote author=Jadekitana post=44308559]Don't let their suit and flashy cars deceive you, bankers are broke! Damn broke! I even heard a recent trend that bankers these days earn less than 70k and yet when you see them in clubs you would think they are Tony Elumelu's sons! Pretence everywhere.

Imagine this particular Zenith big boy has been disturbing my line for a hang out.I thought of honouring the invitation since its just a hang out.

This bloody cretin is so proud that even his shirts exude pride,he displays his expensive shoes on bbm,hangs out in exotic bars, always balling with the big guys not knowing he wasn't even a full staff of the bank.

He came to pick me few minutes to 6pm,took me to this strange lounge with flowers all over and ordered Asun.The waitress surprisingly brought a very small plate of Asun for both of us. Before I even picked my toothpick,this guy has finished the whole plate and the onions as well.I was just observing! I then called the waitress and asked how much was the asun,she said 500naira! I told her to bring 2plates. This shameful thing finished his plate and entered mine,i didn't talk.

That wasn't even the height! After this useless display on our way out he called the waitress and demanded for his change for drinks he bought, I was thinking the change was big that he had to keep us waiting! Hell no! 100naira!! He couldn't dash the waitress 100naira bloody stingy fellow.Yet when he starts displaying those fake dps one would think he's Jim Ovias Son! Fake life everywhere. Ladies don't get carried away, all na packaging,they have nothing! Just living a borrowed life style to fit in.



As usual his number has been deleted till eternity.[/










Shameful of you, you just showed that you can't add any value to him. Why won't he collect his change, is it not his money? You girls always like free things. I hope u heard what happened to a giirl in Ikorodu.

Siena:
[color=Blue]Ummm, not really. Landlords generally evict their tenants if they do NOT pay their rent. A house is an investment, a landlord is NOT a charity. Try imagining paying a mortgage on a house you're not receiving a return on.[/color]

Ur absolutely correct

Drchristian:
Ode leleyi o..how did u learn Yoruba? u live there abi and u cannot leave there again..u need flogging or Lagoon 4 dis comment.

for ur information, in mile 12 attack, hausa killed more igbos than yoruba but ur people are not courageous enough to talk about it.

Mile 12 has been dealth with...cuz is closed down and not even one hausa dey there now so go and face ur hausa/fulani threat in you red mud cursed region and stop invading Yoruba lands that u love so much.

Ur mumu go last. Can you people, the Yoruba try this thing the Hausa did to you in the north?

[quote author=Islie post=43596451]Court sentences man to death by hanging for killing own brother






Your father second wife don swear for you

str8talk1:
Oba Akiolu,be ready to drown in d lagoon if these fulani herdsmen hear peem from that ur amala & gbegiri mouth.

You too much, no mind the oba na fear of the unknown hold am. Abi u want cows to go burn his palace. Hahahahaha

[quote author=kaeforum post=43593241]Shebi you don start again? D shege wey agwai do your brothers for ketu never do you? When they throw all of u into the lagoon dats when you will know for sure that lagos is know mans land.



Na only coward go leave his house, wife and children run from his house and land because of cows. Hahahahaha!!!!

tysontim:
Well bro it is only temporary 2019 Yoruba will take back their land. Peaceful neighbours will be welcomed violent ones will be dealt with.

Like the cows drove them away in mile 12. Oba of Lagos no get mouth again, if it's the innocent business minded people now e go sabi throw them for lagoon.

My brother, I understand ur feelings but there is one thing you should no about marriage. Marriage is not something you go in and you come out. You don't marry a lady because you love her alone cos that love can turn to hatred. There should be some other qualities in her before u proceed which I don't think she possesse. A girl that want to fight ur sister because she came to talk with her in your presences , that means no respect .What does that tells you in future, that means one day she will beat ur mother. you better run for you life o

auntysimbiat:
Residents of Kukuwa-Gari village in Yobe state were thrown into pandemonium as gangs of militants arrived on motorcycles and a car and opened fire of them, local residents said on Tuesday.

Up to 150 people drowned in a river or were shot dead fleeing the insurgents who attacked them on Thursday last week. “They opened fire instantly, which forced residents to flee. They shot a number of people. Unfortunately many residents who tried to flee plunged into the river which is full from the rain. Many drowned,” Modu Balumi, a resident of the village, told newsmen.

“By our latest toll we have 150 people either (shot dead) or drowned in the attack. The gunmen deliberately killed a fisherman who tried to save drowning residents of the village.”  Balumi said the bodies of many of the drowned were picked out by locals several kilometres away.

News of the attack was slow to emerge because the militants have destroyed telecom masts around the village, around 50 kilometres (30 miles) from Yobe State capital Damaturu, since the insurgency began in 2009. “Most residents, particularly women and children, ran towards the river in confusion,”said Bukar Tijjani, another villager, who confirmed the death toll.

“They were pursued by the gunmen who kept firing at them. In the frantic effort to escape they jumped into the river, which was full to the brim.” A local government official confirmed the attack but put the death toll much lower, at around 50.

Massacre

The ambush came during the region’s peak rainy season, when most waterways in northeastern Nigeria are swollen and can flow with dangerous speed. The village was still reeling from a raid by suspected Boko Haram militants on July 31 when at least 10 people were killed by gunmen who burned homes, food silos and livestock.

‎The Gujba area of Yobe state, where Kukuwa-Gari village is located, has been hit hard by Boko Haram violence in the past but had seen relative calm since troops reclaimed it in March. In September 2013 scores of students of an agricultural college in the area were massacred as they slept in their dormitories.

In February last year dozens of students of a boarding secondary school in the main town of Buni Yadi were also killed in a gun attack on their hostels. Boko Haram claimed responsibility for both attacks. The jihadist militia, which has pledged allegiance to the Islamic State group, has waged a violent campaign for a separate Islamic homeland in the northeast which has seen more than 15,000 deaths since 2009.

The military under President Muhammadu Buhari’s predecessor Goodluck Jonathan was heavily criticised for poor handling of the insurgency and its failure to free more than 200 schoolgirls abducted from the northeastern town of Chibok in April last year.

Nigeria’s new leader, who came to power on May 29 vowing to destroy Boko Haram, replaced his military chiefs last week, ordering them to end the insurgency within three months.

Anti-terror force

Since May, the militants have stepped up their campaign with a wave of raids, bombings and suicide attacks which have left more than 1,000 people dead in Nigeria alone, according to an AFP count.  The Islamists have also carried out deadly ambushes across Nigeria’s borders and in recent weeks suicide bombers, many of them women, have staged several attacks in Nigeria, Cameroon and Chad.

A five-nation regional force of 8,700 troops from Nigeria and its neighbours has been set up to fight Boko Haram and is expected to deploy imminently. Buhari told a national security gathering in Abuja on Monday his government would employ “at least an extra 10,000 police officers” and set up a federal anti-terrorism task force to crush the rebellion.

Chadian leader Idriss Deby declared on August 12 that efforts to combat Boko Haram had succeeded in “decapitating” the group and would be wrapped up “by the end of the year”.

Deby told reporters in the capital N’Djamena that Boko Haram was no longer led by the fearsome jihadist commander Abubakar Shekau and that his successor, whom he named as Mahamat Daoud, was open to talks. But Shekau dramatically rebuffed the claim in an audio recording released on Sunday and authenticated by security analysts, dismissing the Chadian head-of-state as a “hypocrite” and a “tyrant”.



http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/08/150-people-shot-drowned-in-yobe-river-by-boko-haram-gunmen/

Boko haram is killing their brothers and sisters....... Hahahaha laughter has filled my stomach. All Hausa should declare war against this people. Igbo man can kill his brother for money. Hausa man(boko haram) kill his brother for nothing, that is why we call them abok*
I have always said it that these people na cow brain them get. Hahahaha.

MuguliciousMUGU:
Open letter for what? Nitori olorun

FTC chai, i too bad...

I dedicate this award to sister chiamaka for the sweet soup that she cook for me, and the bedmatics.

And also to ogochi, chai, that girl won kill me for bed.

DJ play me, " i want your body sleeping in my bed" by wizkid

forget chris oyakilhome, he too dey listen to wizkid songs that is why he carried another woman inside his bed.

Have u seen Pst Chris with one? Keep on exposing ur ignorant and stupidity on social media.

kendrick9:
None of my concern tbh.... Buhari has been an abject failure so far.. everything stagnant,no progress.... Same old nigeria i guess....

Think before u talk MUMU

[quote author=Souljeezy post=37043423][/quote]My brother God will bless u. Leave him let him be asking so so foolish Question.

My brother God will bless you. Leave him let him be asking FOOLISH question. It is very obvious that what she want is ur money and not U. When the money is no longer there tomorrow she will leave u and marry the third RICH MAN.

Use ur head to think and not what u have in between ur legs

akeensbussy:
http://www.punchng.com/metro-plus/we-had-sex-twice-by-mutual-consent-%E2%94%80-14-year-old/

But wait oo! Did the boy rape the girl? NO. Did he force the girl to the hotel and his house? NO. May be is the girl that brought the idea of sex. It shows that, their parent has not done their home work well. Mr lawyer close that case. The both parent should go and discipline their children.

Matttthew:
And does dah change any thing?
I believe there was dah picture cos he wanted to let d world knows e have moved on leaving behind his past.....
But methinks he's still deceiving himself.

Always try to use ur head. God gave u sense but u refuse to use it. Therefore you are a big time FOOL....... sorry oh!

ayusco85:
I think the Igbos should respect their host, and try and do what will bring peace and peaceful co-existence. No one will go to Aba or Onitsha and try to claim relevance or drag rights with the true indigenes of those areas. Lagos belongs to the Yoruba's, like it or not.

#VoteNotFight
#OneNigeria
#Peace

*modified* this post is not in any way trying to support what the Oba said. What he did was undemocratic and anti Nigeria. Let's say the right words always

I wanted to vote APC before but because of that old fool statement i will vote for JIMI. Sai JIMI

Oyinprince:
Award winning Gospel Singer, Osinachi Kalu aka Sinach has reportedly been banned from performing at Christ Embassy by Pastor Chris Oyakhilome who is supposedly her “Anointed Father”

Several sources claimed that there is a feud going on between the two and the bone of contention is Sinach’s marriage to a man Pastor Oyakhilome did not approve of.

The ban reportedly took effect from the singer’s last performance at the last Experience concert which took place last year December.
Other sources reveal that the true cause of the ban is because Pastor Oyakhilome strongly cautioned his staff against taking paid jobs outside the church, a violation of which brought the ban upon Sinach.

Sinachs husband, Joe Egbu while speaking with Kemi Filani Blog threw the reports out the window saying they were mere fabrications. He said, “These are all lies from the pit of hell. None of those things written is true. Sinach is having a wonderful father-daughter relationship with our Pastor. She just came back from Uganda, on a Programme that our Man of God, Pastor Chris, sent her. My Marriage with Sinach has full approval and blessings of our Man of God. Christ Embassy is our Home.”


http://www.radar.ng/gist/false-my-wife-sinach-wasnt-banned-from-singing-at-christ-embassy-husband/

Any body that tries to round down his or her fellow being will end up in the lagoon