₦airaland Forum

Hello all,

Attached is a copy of an article I just sent to Nigerian dailies on Sanusi Lamido.
Please note that this is just my own personal opinion.

Enjoy.

1-fine,in 2007- early '08, most of these investment banking institutions were doing great,most esp the consolidatn period, but do you still think they re maintaining that standard in this economic crises and which amongst them can we vote to still be floating well, too bad most of them are not public companies,we could have gotten an EPS and CAPM analysis of their share and capital&riskiness status.

Like I mentioned earlier, I have lost touch with exact happenings in the system since I left. I was there when the Nigerian capital market was in its peak. Things were bubbling then. But it is no brainer to assert that they were hit severely by the global crunch. But I don't know the severity on each of them.
I think TKB is in this sector. He should have more info here.

2-As regards your comment on entry into that sector,you never mentioned the traditional skills set and necessary grad qualification to penetrate the sector at entry level(most think u have to get a CFA, MBA b4 u can get in but i disagree, PASSION is it and a good numerical discipline degree/qualificatn!!).And dont u think things are a little tight now with the events in the economy.Also considering that most of their recruitment offers are not publicized like that, for me i ve not seen any in the papers or online.

Rightly said. CFA, MBA etc are not in any way a pre-requisite. I mentioned earlier that with just Bsc, you are good to go. Of course, passion must not be lacking.

3-I was reading somewhere on NL where TKB was replying to a guy as regards the 'sweetness' of the operational aspect of inv. banking which he refers to as the 'real thing' as against the marketing side, are there different qualificatns to achieve these.

I personal hate any job that has to do with marketing. I was in Corporate Finance in my brief stint in the system, and canvassing for project was done at high level,top mgt level, moreso we already had a solid brand and we needed no aggressive marketing. This may not be totally true for asset management and stock broking units though. But overall, marketing in serious investment banking institutions is not that aggressive, as it is in banks. As rightly said by TKB, operations, of course, is where teh real sweetness is, anywhere.

Good to know that u know TKB, u guys finished from Ife,hmmmm, no comment.

TKB was two years my senior in Ife Economics and still my master in corporate world now. I respect him.

@Paaj,
Investment banking is no doubt a very good field, with prospect. I actually did not plan to be an investment banker, I joined only because that was teh first offer I got after finishing the university. And by the special grace of God, I'm now with an oil company.
The sector is very good, and I actually enjoyed it. It exposes you to the workings of the capital market. Apart from your noraml pay packages, being in the investment banking system, you stand to make a lot of legit money from the capital market. You have full insider information and expertise about the market, and you can easily make personal investments that earn you high return. Also, you can read market trend on your own, and guide your investment decisions.
In terms of stress, it's actually not different from the banking system, and indeed in the finacial system as a whole. So for somebody within the financial system before, the stress will be familiar.

I don't know much about the specific working hours of others, except Vetiva where I experienced, but I doubt if there will be any difference, as my ex-classmate in Skye Financial Services, also complains bitterly about the hours they spend at work.
You can try any of those T-Cann listed above.


@deprofy,
Did you make a 2-1?
Most of them don't take anything less than 2-1.

Did you read Accounting, Economics, Finance or any other management/social science course?
Most of them believe, with a degree in any of these courses, yopu can easily be trained.

Do you have a professional qualification?
If you have CIS, you will be a hot cake for them. ICAN, ACCA or any other relevant qualification also places you at an advantage.
But these are just added advantages. You can get the jobs easily with just Bsc.

Can you pass their tests and interviews?
This is perhaps the most important. Even if you had First Class plus CIS,ICAN etc and failed their test, you are on your own o! the cut-off for Vetiva test is 60% and I think I scored 71%, co-led with my classmate/friend then.

Do you know the basics of capital market before?
In their interviews, you need to demonstrate, at least basic knoweldge of capital market. A cousin of mine, a Science graduate, went for BGL interview and she was asked 'what is capital market?'. She couldn't answer. That was the end. In my interviews before joining Vetiva, I was asked what an IPO meant, to give an an example of a recent IPO exercise in Nigeria etc. Following events in capital market, through reading newspapers, listening to news etc may help here.

Are you sitting at home, reading Tuesday Guardian?
If you sit at home, just buying and reading Tuesday Guardian, expecting to see these organizations place job advert in newspapers, then God help you.
Most of these institutions recruit almost every week, with people joining and others moving almost every week. More often than not, they don't waste their resources placing adverts in newspapers, when they have tens of CVs in their files. So, you need to go their offices and drop your CVs. One day, it will get to your turn to be called. They may need people urgently. It could be faster if you have friends/family working there, who may help you submit your CVs. A CV submitted by a staff gives more hope of BEING CALLED FOR TEST because being an insider he will submit it in the right place, rather than junk files, and may even help you make follow-up to facilitate your being called for test. But if you fluff test, then you are on your own o.

Finally, please note that getting job in investment banking institution, and indeed in general, may not be as simple as analysed above. These are just hints. The intricacies of the labour market may not as simple as this. After all, even I 'the lecturer' have a very close friend, with 2-1 in Economics from Ife for that matter and very good, still struggling to get a place. And with all these labour market stories in my head, I can't help him. Only God is the ultimate giver of job, like any other thing.

Let me attempt to analyse some of these instituions based on what I know about them.

VETIVA
I had a brief stint there in 2007, pre-NYSC and till today I'm still a friend of the company. They are a very nice set of people. I met their MD in my present company(both of us were waiting for the elevator) and he easily recognized me. I have also met their company secretary and other top notch recently, after leaving the company. We still relate. I still use one of them as my referee even till now.
Vetiva is a well-paying organization, but you'll work your ass off. By 5pm, the day is just starting, if you get what I mean!
You will be trained on the job. I joined them just weeks after finishing university, and that was my first work experience.
They maintain a small staff strenght of about 25 staff, 20% of which are either NYSC or Pre-NYSC. They don't take just any corper, you write their standard test and interview, and they give you the job and pay you 50k monthly plus free lunch, with the intention of using your service year to assess your capability. If you perform well, they will staff you, and welcome to money! The common route for employing fresh graduates in the company is through this pre-NYSC and NYSC arrangement, but some people have criticized this as cheap labour(you work for more than one year, earning just 50K). Sometimes though, they hire fresh graduates that had served elsewhere.
But in any case, as a permanent staff, entry level, your monthly take-home is in the region of 200K. But where the bulk of your income will come is from the profit sharing and other bonus schemes. Being a company with small staff strenght, but huge profits, an entry level may receive up to a million, if not more, as share of profit.
Another thing mention-worthy is that they hold their annual retreat abroad every year and all staff, including corpers, go.
Also, if you are in corporate finance, you will have the opportunity of meeting who-is-who in corporate Nigeria through the various meetings you hold with them. In my brief stay there, I had the rare priviledge of meeting and interacting with CEOs and EDs I see on newspapers.
All in all, Vetiva is a very good company pay- and exposure-wise, but if you are the weak type that easily fall sick, then please don't go near.

IBTC Asset Mgt:
I wrote the tests and interviews of IBTC and Vetiva around the same time(Dec 2006) and I landed offer from both,and asked to resume same day (Jan 3, 2007). But for some personal reasons,I chose Vetiva. My brother, who we live under the same roof, is the MD of IBTC Asset Mgt(IAML), and I didn't want us to be in same company.
I will not say much about IAML but it's a very good company. The pay for pre-NYSC and NYSC during that time was 60k and 106k respectively, but I learnt they have slashed it to 30K now. Like, Vetiva, they recruit you standardly, not just any posting from camp. You write test and interviews like normal entry level recruitment, and after service you will be staffed but their take-home, for entry level, is not as high as that of Vetiva, but they have avery good training culture. Unlike Vetiva, they have a more standard promotion structure.some of my friends also had brief stints there before moving to P&G and Shell, and a couple are still there.

BGL
One of my closest friends worked briefly with them before moving to Glo and later GTB. Pitiably, he didn't say good about them. They are not that structured and pay package is somehow arbitrary. You will see somebody of your level earning higher than you and there will be no clear explanation for the differential. They however have the brand as a force to reckon with in Nigeria's investment banking system.

MERRISTEM
This is another coy I know quite much about. The whole of their research dept was once dominated by my friends in Ife Economics and Accounting. The current head of their research was my tutorial teacher in Ife(two years my senior, TKB's classmate) and still very close to me. One of his subordinates was my class mate and another my immediate junior. And a number of my friends were there briefly in 2007/2008.
To go straight to the point, as a corper or Pre-NYSC staff, you collect 50K per month, after being staffed or recruited fresh as an entry level you collect around 166K per month take-home. This was as at mid-last year. I'm not sure of what goes on there now.
All in all, Merristem is another company with great prospect. If you join them and stay,you can easily rise as they expand.
Their MD is also a family friend.

GREENWICH
One of my close classmates work here but I don't know mucha bout them

AFRIBANK CAPITAL
I have a friend here too, but I don't know much about them. But I have a feeling taht their pay is OK.

ZENITH CAPITAL
I don't have exact figures about their packages, but for somebody to move from Vetiva, despite their pay, to Zenith Capital makes me suspect there are some goodies there too. A former colleague of mine in Vetiva, with masters from Cambridge, did that.

PS: This is just a well-intended sharing of job information. No intention of bad-mouthing any organization, just as any figure quoted here is not authoritative.

Investment banking has different aspects(Corporate Finance, Stockbroking, Wealth/asset mgt, Trade/project finance etc), and some of these institutions have different aspects as their stronghold. For example, when I was in one of these institutions(Vetiva, to be precise), we were very strong in Corporate Finance and in fact there was hardly any big merger and acquisition and capital raising exercise we didn't partake in, whether as issuing house or financial adviser. Our hands were full then, and we even had to be rejecting some offers we considered too small. This was during the banking/insurance consolidation period. However, we were not very strong in stockbroking and asset management. When it comes to asset management, IBTC easily had it then.

Overall then, IBTC were rated first, BGL second and Vetiva third.

I'm no longer in this system and I have lost touch of happenings in the system. So I can't comment on their current standing now.

yousouph:
Good news to all the players who were called & begged to play for their fatherland but shunned all the adversaries because its africa. We have players to represent SE than Shola Ameobi & Dennis Aogo. They should all ask Sean Dundee who chose to play for Germany instead of South Africa in the 90's when he was ruling bundesliga with goals. After about 3 caps, he never call again

Exactly my point too. Obafemi Martins benches Amoebi in Newcastle, and this same Martins is not even guaranteed first team shirt in Nigeria. The only lost player that will be relevant to Naija by this rule, for now, is Agbonlahor.

AjanleKoko:
The 526k is an analogy, just to show what the salaries really look like. I doubt any fresher is getting 526k in Nigeria.

I also doubt it oooo! The highest I've heard is 350k per month(net, take-home).

KnowAll:
It is unfortunate his(Soludo's) re-denomination of the naira policy was not allowed to see the light of day. Although Yaradua initially said that the policy might be revisited but up to the last few minutes of soludo Governorship nothing was mentioned. I hope sanusi will not hijack this commendable policy which would have yanked Nigeria out of the unneccessary over devalution of her currency. Even though some economic pundits say sanusi is a man that can cut it in finance I wonder what a man who has qualifications in Islamic studies and Arabic studies from sudan in his later years has to contribute to the economic growth of Nigeria, I might however regret this utterances, but we wait to see sanusi's opening gambit. [/b]

I disagree strongly with the bolded.
You ignore the fact that he had two degrees and Economics and vast experience in banking, and only isolated his Islamic studies degree. His degree in Islamic studies has not taken away those of Economics. And so far, his career has been related to his knowledge of Economics.

He definitely has a personal reason he enrolled for a course in Islamic/Arabic studies, especially voluntarily resigning as a Bank Manager at 30, and pursuing the course.
Remember he's a direct Kano prince, and who knows, he may be nursing an ambition to, later in life, become the Emir of Kano. Islamic knowledge will definitely enhance his chance, as the kingmakers can easily screen him out for being too western, and with no islamic knowledge.

For now his Economics knowledge is being put to use, and maybe in the future, his Islamic knowledge will be more relevant for him. And there is nothing wrong in gathering knowledge in as many fields as you can, depending on your future plans.

davidif:
Ehn , were we watching the same match? The French had at least 4 chances on goal, if not Enyeama, the match would have been over a long time. Can you imagine what would have happened if Thierry Henry, Florent Malouda or David Trezeguet had played. Omo, let's put this into perspective, we beat a good French team and not a great one.

Davidif, I disagree with you here. You can't look at it from one side. An average Nigerian team defeated a good French team. That's it. Nigeria also did not parade it's strongest 11. We can easily argue that Nigeria would also have done better with Martins, Yakubu, Mikel, Yobo.

A team that had Ribery(best french player at the moment), Anelka(fresh from EPL as highest goal scorer), Vieira(one of the finest Midfielders to have graced the game of football), Benzema(a world-class forward) and Evra(one of the best left-backs in the world) is a great team by all standards. Or do you expect Benzema,Henry,Trezeguet and Anelka to play together?

Their goal-scoring chances missed were not because they didn't play it well, but because our keeper and defenders were wonderful. Henry or Trezeguet would not have done better. Don't mention Malouda.

davidif:
Ehn , were we watching the same match? The French had at least 4 chances on goal, if not Enyeama, the match would have been over a long time. Can you imagine what would have happened if Thierry Henry, Florent Malouda or David Trezeguet had played. Omo, let's put this into perspective, we beat a good French team and not a great one.

Davidif, I disagree with you here. You can't look at it from one side. An average Nigerian team defeated a good French team. That's it. Nigeria also did not parade it's strongest 11. We can easily argue that Nigeria would also have done better with Martins, Yakubu, Mikel, Yobo.

A team that had Ribery(best french player at the moment), Anelka(fresh from EPL as highest goal scorer), Vieira(one of the finest Midfielders to have graced the game of football), Benzema(a world-class forward) and Evra(one of the best left-backs in the world) is a great team by all standards. Or do you expect Benzema,Henry,Trezeguet and Anelka to play together.

Their goal-scoring chances missed were not because they didn't play it well, but because our keeper and defenders were wonderful. Henry or Trezeguet would not have done better. Don't mention Malouda.

experts:
1. Gov Bukola Saraki
2. Gov Fashola
3. Benue state gov

These are my 3 too, but in this order:
1,Fashola
2,Bukola
3,Suswan(Benue)

I respect Soludo, especially for his great grasp of global economy, despite being home-grown.
Soludo is a world-class Economist, and to me, one of the Top 3 Nigeria has ever produced in that field.
Aluko was calling the shots in the 1970's through the 80's, was regarded and consulted as the encyclopedia of Economics and moving repertoire of economic policy options.

Like any other field, Economics has various branches, and I'm not oblivious of the fact that Soludo specializes in Monetary Economics, but he was outstanding in this field. Nigerian varsities are dominated by Professors that know no more than theory(with due respect; not their fault really, but the system is just not permissive), but Soludo has distinguished himself, proving that the Economic theories he teaches in classrooms are really practicable.

Soludo's erudition is also profound. I was opportuned to listen to him live in 2006 when he came, on the invitation of Ife Law Students Society, to deliver a lecture on Economic development, and the way he dealt with the topic was spell-binding. I have also laid my hands on a number of lectures/speeches he made. I have read the policy statement he read on June 5, 2004 at the bankers' committee meeting to officially unveil his 13-point banking reforms agenda(recapitalization was just one of his 13-point reform agenda) and I still have a copy of his recent presentation on global meltdown as it affects Nigeria in my car. No, Soludo's brilliance can only be doubted by an ignoramus.

My take has been that Soludo should be given another term, but Sanusi is not a bad choice either, to me. Sanusi may not have an intimidating academic credential like Soludo, but the guy seems promising. I listened to him as he answered questions fielded by the Senators, and he also exuded brilliance.

Sanusi appears tilted towards focusing on ethical/supervisory role of central banking, and if it's that area he's able to tighten up, while not relaxing Soludo's policies that have strenghtened the system, then at the end of the day, a healthier financial system, and by extension economy, might not be far from sight.

All the best to Soludo as he bowed out. Good luck to Sanusi as he steps in.

The rule that a player that has played for a country at the junior level, can not switch to another country after 21 years has been cancelled. I think Africa will be the greatest beneficiary of this rule change.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/africa/8083006.stm

When next I go to Kwara, I will take the pictures.

1st tym i got ds mail, also nearly fell, tanx 2 an area in d form i found unclear and complained 2 gtb, only 2 b told dey didnt send any form 2 me. Lukd so much lyk gtb www. Since den i've got tens of such mail,wich i simply delete

jalether:
anyone who thinks Drogba and kanu deserves to be africans best player this season

needs a serious intervention, Eto'o is more like it.

Essien hasn't played enough games this season due to injuries to merit the award

Didier Drogba: i dont even need to do an indept evaluation on him, just look at his form this season

Kanu: this is actually a joke, there is absolutely no consideration for papilo, he is past his prime

I hope you looked at the date this thread was started before commenting.
This was a 2007 thread, talking anout 2006 APOTY.


APOTY is so far a one-horse race in 2009. . . . and you know who the only horse is!

@Poster, please change 'Dreamed' to 'Dream' in your title.

Having said that, having the opportunity to attend Ife is one of the greatest things that had happened to me in my life.
Learnt so much from the school. Beyond what you learn in classrooms, you learn a lot from interactions/discussions with other students in your hostels, relaxation centres, religious and political gatherings etc.

OAU is a community on its own, an egalitarian community. A school where people hardly care about how expensive you shoes are, but how loaded you are, upstairs. The most popular students on campus are not those that use the flashiest cars, but those that have the mightiest GPs.

Ife campus politics are too intriguing and interesting to be totally ignored, no matter how apolitical you are. Oh, manifesto nights, the campaigns around halls of residence! How about the debates and arguments in TV rooms? Aluta nko? Maximum and ferefe shishi. Hall weeks. Aro.

I need not mention the aesthetics. What a cool environment! Sprawling, expansive, and ever neat, Ife campus is a sight to behold!

Let me save the talk about respect you get outside for another day.

Above all, academics. It is only in Ife that students taht students have positive attitude to academic success. In many schools, all you hear your 'senior' students tell you as orientation are 'you can't make a First class, no matter how you try', 'you can't pass so so course', but in Ife, what you hear as Jambite is the story of a guy that in 1985 broke school record, story of a guy that had 2.0 GP in year 1 and still made First Class, story of one efiiwe in Chemical Engineering part 5, story of one guy that never had used hsi hand to write and have B(meaning he had A in all non-practical courses) etc. These stories motivate you. , and it is only in Ife taht you hear that.

I wrote this article about Awo hall, my hall of residence in Ife(2001-2006)
http://www.thenationonlineng.com/dynamicpage.asp?id=40464

[quote author=Frank-C link=topic=278498.msg3970402#msg3970402 date=1244032783]The problem i see with the operators of the present system is that they seem not to be coherent. When the world is in global financial mess, experts around the world are saying that this is the time for developing nations to demand for a larger role in the global economy that is hitherto dominated by world powers. Any serious nation need a man with spine, courage and chest to stand his onions in the comity of nations to demand her fair share. I think Soludo fit that profile, not that he is only one, but he has build a global profile that is intimidating and respected anywhere in the world. To me, this choice shows how myopic the present leaders are. So, Sanusi will have to start by building such profile when one already exists. He may be good, but this decision is strategically wrong if you have a global mindset and not clannish mindset. Which role does Nigeria intend to play in Africa and the world tomorrow? How does swapping Soludo for Sanusi serve that goal? How does it fit into Mr President's talk of Vision 20:2020? Look, any serious leader does not retire his best generals during war time even if they have reached any retirement age. The world is globally at war.

The question is whether Sanusi's advent is addressing global strategic goal save possibly for petty issues of insecurity, intellectual inferiority complex, and other such mundane interests. This man's team keep getting worse by the day! My luck to Sanusi anyway. He better be better that Samsudeen under whose watch the Finance Ministry had three budjets.[/quote]Wow, this sets me thinking. . .very brilliant contribution!

dominic tj:
Sanusi dosent have the capacity to confused these half baked senators who keep asking stupid questions and in the process prolonging the final verdict on whether he is competent enough to head the apex bank or not.
I remembered in 2004 when Soludo faced the senate scrutiny, he confused them with economic terms each time a question was thrown before him and the session ended without out much delay.
I beg carry that fulani man commot jo, make e go rear cattle

. . . and you that don't rear cattle can't distinguish between 'Convince' and 'Confuse'!

donjon:
Lordy lord!
I just died and went 2 heaven!
Who is dat guy<becomerich>?

Becomrich, formerly known as Nigeria1, is a veteran comedian on NL politics section. . . .and the funnier thing is that he doesn't know!

otokx:
Congratulations Nigeria but its not eureka yet. A lot still has to be done especially as regards our counter attacking ability.

Good point. I'm also worried about this. We don't look dangerous in counter-attack. Too slow. Slow build-up, leaving opposing players to recover, and eventually not utilizing counter-attacking opportunity.

v3nom4eva:
@jarus
E dey okay, i'm not disputing your facts or anyfin. . .I'm juz saying if Henry were in THAT squad it woulda been shameful to see em lose to nigeria. . I'm a barca fan so pls 4give my shortcomings

Ok. I misinterpreted you then.

[quote author=al-qaeda link=topic=204761.msg3878267#msg3878267 date=1242504723]JIGGA, if i was you, i'd close this thread. you can't sell anything here on NL. no one here has even 400 naira to recharge his phone. they're just making you look like a fool. from 1m down to 850k. thats too much. its like ur begging them. THOSE THAT ARE OFFERING YOU 800K, TELL THEM ACCEPTED AND YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN. just stop this thread and put the car in the market. BROTHERLY ADVICE.[/quote]I hope you know there are millionaires on NL. I'm serious.

v3nom4eva:
@post

FOOTBALL TIE WRAPPER YESTERDAY. . . THANK GAWD SAY HENRY NO PLAY, NA BIG DIGRADE E FOR BE. . The Uche brovas(thumbs UP), Osaze aka Fabregas (U get mouth), the beautiful bride(Kanu Nwankwo) u get mouth. . .All the best. . .to our team. . .UNA do 9ja proud laznyte

I hate to hear this. Don't give any excuse. A team that paraded Ribery, Vieira, Anelka and Benzema was strong enough. I doubt if Henry could have made any difference.
In any case, Nigeria also missed key players in Martins/Yakubu, Mikel and Yobo( even though their presence wouldn't have any difference).

Still not the entertaining Eagles we had in 1994 and still want to have, but a good game altogether.

Excellent:
Enyeama: Confident, even more than ever. Good saves. MOTM

Very Good:
Ike Uche: Wondering why this guy is still in Getafe. Not still a Barca/Man-U first team player, but he's good enough for Arsenal, Liverpool.
Kalu Uche: Good playmaking role, especially in the first half. This guy, to me, is better than Mikel
Olofinjana: I have totally lost confidence in him, and still feel his time is up in SE, but put up a good performance yesterday

Good:
Adeleye: Solid defending, though sometimes raw.
Kanu: Added fluid to the ball in first half. Good distribution, great passes, deft touches. I still believe he's relevant for SE.
Osaze: He only needs to work on end-result of his moves. Great moves but less-than-great results.
Echiejine: Though still can't bench Taiye Taiwo(best left back in Ligue 1), but at least will keep him on his toes. We now have someone to fall to if TT is fumbling.


Others also put up a decent show.

Naija beat France? At last we av sumtin 2 brag about now. Make I go make mouth 4 ghanaweb

@kobo, na true yarn o! Make i go learn big vocabs 2 be bombing my co-debators with on NL , lol

. . .scholarly mehu-mehu

@ Mai-Suya, are you sure this is English? Hope this is not Hausa?

Mai Suya:
The gratuitous predilection of some members to utilize grandiloquent aphorisms as the exclusive means of dissipating their scholarly mehu-mehu, being unmindful of the wanton discombobulation such actions evokes on the diminutive comprehensive capabilities of an illiterate suya seller like me and possibly our OP, is rather unbecoming of them.

The likes of Dede and Jakumo pls desist from aggravating the em. . .

una don kill me 4 NL ooooo This got me laughing thunderously in office, ignoring my boss that was around.

Are you guys trying to prove to the thread starter that he aint seen anything yet?

@poster
Ever noticed that insults, criticisms and other negative comments are best conveyed in big Grammar? The bigger the grammar, the greater the effect on the insulted! I'm talking from observation, not experience o

And admittedly, I personally have learnt a lot in terms of grammar on this forum and other discussion forums I belong. But it's a pity most of the 'new words' and 'new grammar construction styles' are negative.

Oh sorry, in my friend's imagination:

Enjoy:

Today is May 29, 2009. To 150 million Nigerians, it is not just another day, it’s Democracy Day! My nation has suffered from destructive forces within and without. Colonized by Britain, raped by oil companies, decimated by a civil war and tyrannically ruled by one despot or the other since independence, Nigeria was free at last when democracy came (again) some ten years ago. People’s voices will now be heard, crime rates will go down, corrupt officials will now be prosecuted and we will now have our place in the comity of Nations, or so we thought.
I will discuss at length how I think we can get out of this mess…but that is for another time.
For now, I just want to share with you a conversation that took place between two leaders and for one reason or the other, it escaped the watchful eyes of the media. CNN, BBC, NTA and even SaharaReporters failed to report it…maybe because it happened in my imagination. Enjoy!

Yar’Adua: Welcome to Nigeria! The whole nation is happy to see you.
Obama: Thank you!
Yar’Adua: We were all happy that our own son is now the President of America.
Obama (looking uneasy): Thank you
Yar’Adua (walking gauntly on the red carpet): How did you find the journey? Tiring?
Obama (walking besides him with a steady gait): Interesting, actually.
They then drove off in armored Hummers.
Yar’Adua: Your book was one of the best I ever read.
Obama: Which one?
Yar’Adua: Have you written any other one since the Audacity of Hope?
Obama: No. I wrote one before that.
Yar’Adua (looking stupid): Oh! I see. (giving an affected smile)
At this point, power supply went off and an automatic generator quickly kicked in.
Yar’Adua (smiling squirmingly): Those generators are powerful, Mikano brand, from Japan.
Obama (soliloquizing): How can a people living in darkness [be expected to] reason in the light?
Yar’Adua: I beg your pardon?
Obama: Will you say that power generation is the most important problem facing your country?
Yar’Adua: No.
Obama (surprised): huh
Yar’Adua: I will rate the Swiss bankers as my number one problem. Can you believe those Europeans won’t release over a billion dollars illegally stashed away in their vaults to me, to us…I mean to Nigeria? I don’t know how the West can help us in this regard.
Obama: There are channels you can explore to recover stolen public funds. The Economic Intelligence Unit is a good starting point. They will need facts and figures though and not hearsay. Some monies were recovered recently; I hope they have been put into good use…
Yar’Adua (cutting in): I hope so too. It’s just that the money received so far is not enough.
Obama: [/b]So how are you going about the power generation problem? I understand that generation has plummeted from 3200MW two years ago to below 1000MW now.
[b]Yar’Adua: We have invested over $15 billion in the power sector and there’s nothing to show for it. Can you believe that? Nothing! There are people bent on sabotaging our efforts.
Obama: Who are those?
Yar’Adua: [/b]I don’t know. Maybe the generator dealers, diesel suppliers…
[b]Obama: Maybe? Are you using Hydroelectric, coal, gas or geothermal plants?
Yar’Adua (exasperated): I don’t know these things.I don’t know. We appoint Power Ministers every now and then but they don’t deliver. They don’t. (looking resigned)
Obama: Nigeria is an influential player in the AU and critical in maintaining peace in this region so it is in our interest to make sure she is stable. How can the US collaborate in peace keeping efforts?
Yar’Adua: We need help in fighting the Niger Delta militants. We need better bombs, snipers (the ones that took out the Somali pirates) and more helicopters.
Electricity was back so the generators were switched off. Yar’Adua excused himself apparently to give a stern warning that electricity must not be interrupted again – they should just stick with the generators since they are more reliable.
At this point, Obama checked his Blackberry to read the updated CIA reports on Nigeria: he read about the Ekiti re-run election, MEND and JTF, the sale of the embassy at Washington DC, the Seven-Point agenda in the light of actual deliverables, James Ibori, the newly emasculated EFCC, Nuhu Ribadu US hearing…
Yar’Adua (stepping into the room): So you see, we are fighting on many fronts. We need help.
Obama (speaking loudly to his aide so that Yar’Adua can hear): Can you please give me the name of a country, in Africa, whose President was actually elected rather than selected, whose President will not be “planning” to carry out his campaign promises two years into his term, whose oil discovery doesn’t translate into killing of women and children, who would quit whining about saboteurs who he has power to deal with but refuses to…
Aide (cutting in): But we are here already.
Obama: I’m not afraid to own up to my mistake. Coming here is a mistake. I just want to go where the leader seems to have at least an appearance of respect for the people whose lives are daily touched by the decision he makes…I’m sure there should be a country like that even in Africa that can boast of uninterrupted power supply.
Obama(checking his Blackberry again, read the last line of the CIA report): Ghana will be a better country to pay a visit. But going to Aso Rock will be, well, revealing

That was a thoughtful piece by a friend which I have asked for permission to share on NL.