₦airaland Forum

Professional course if you are already in work and need to climb the career ladder

Master's if you are a job seeker and need to present yourself as the best candidate among the tons of applicants. As they always say, "Every little helps"

However, if you are in the field of IT then bother not about MSc degrees. You need professional courses as these usually count has valuable experience when we sieve through application forms

How about you send him back to the cave he crawled out from?

Now this is a red flag that ought not to be overlooked since you guys aren't married yet. You need to sit him down and find out about his other archaic reasoning as they need to be addressed before you go any further.

breadplanets:
Happy sunday my online family. Im here again for advice. Yesterday while chatting with my fiance *he's in lag im in d east* there was a short pause in the conversation and when he came back online he said he just saw a babe pass dat he has been standing by the window looking. I now said why is he wasting time he should run downstairs and chyke the babe na. That he should not forget to give me the full gist later. He now said that by the time he got downstairs that d babe had gone far. I told him to take his seat closer to the window so that he would see the next one on time and we laughed and he said no he doesnt need that that the one he has is way better than all those ones. So we continued with our conversation. Later when what happened came up when i was discussing with a friend of mine she said that what i said was wrong that im encouraging him to cheat! But i dont see it that way at all. House what do you think? I know say i dey ask too many kweshions abeg make una no vex.

This is a bit dicey as on one hand you are single-handedly shooting yourself in the foot whereas on the other hand you are trying to make your man extremely comfortable with you by showing in an extreme/matured way that you aren't the jealous type.

Here are the problems/risks:
1) There seem to be some sort of lack of disrespect coming from your man by him telling you how he is checking a pretty girl out. You guys might be pretty comfortable with the idea in the past but there is a serious consequence that could manifest if temptation sets in

2) Nothing wrong with sharing jokes about the opposite sex with your man/woman. You shouldn't cross the line by actively suggesting he/she makes the move. Relationship is not a game so don't treat it as such

3) What happens if he starts comparing you to these hot chicks that he is seeing about the place?

I want one as well

How about you lock the money on a monthly basis into TBills or fixed deposit where he won't readily have access to it.

I'm sorry, you will only have yourself to blame at the end of the day if you don't take drastic actions.

Do you guys have a budget plan?

What kind of financial arrangements do you guys have, does he take care of all household bills and feeding or you have a sharing formula?

goodheart4God:
Jaybee thank you. You have raised valid points and I will give you answers to them. We have talked about these things at every point. Night day or even after a hit steamy sex.

You’re welcome
I’m kind of worried that you seem to have ready answers for things. Don’t you think second-guessing possible outcomes might actually stop you from taking measurable steps in solving all these problems?

Yes your husband is probably a crafty old fox but if he loves you as in genuine love then he will listen as well as willing to try

goodheart4God:
Point number 1 his answer will be that you are the one putting yourself through a lot of stress that you don't have anything to worry about. But will I be worried if you are talking with one chic for a month and later I get to see that money is exchanging hand.

I sort of expect you to steer the communication along these lines:

Baby, do you realise that I’m now only able to sleep 4 hours daily just because I’m consistently worried that you my husband is probably counselling some other girls about their relationship problems. Effect of this inadequate sleep is that the quality of my work is now being noticeably under par. I wouldn't want to lose my job because of these worries that you can help put a stop to by firm positive actions from you.

Baby, I’m now consistently worrying about money and future of our kids due to your inconsiderate generosity. As much as I want you to help, I sincerely think you are exposing us your family to some financial difficulties that if not taken care of will implode in our faces.

goodheart4God:
Point 2 his reply will be that because of the little money he gives out will make you not to save or invest. You must be a selfish woman and want to have it all.

Baby, I’m happy to be called selfish if my primary concern and responsibility is to provide some sort of financial assurance for us going forward. I’m not asking you to stop helping, I’m only asking you to set aside a fixed amount of money every single month that all your planned charitable donations will have to come out from.
This is not asking for too much my love cos at the end of the day, these people will survive if we didn't have money to give them so why should we displease ourselves to please others

goodheart4God:
Point 3 you want to kill him by taking him off his gadget. He is addicted to nairaland and other forums. I don't have issues with that but please it is the balance we quarrel about. So me don learn well well. Nairaland na my second home now.

You are not taking him off his gadget. You are only insisting on him creating Me time for you. If he loves you then he shouldn't have a problem with that.
Your Me time could be an hour or even 30 minutes. He needs to be able to realise the impact of these distractions on his family

goodheart4God:
Joint account? We tried and it isn't working. Cos when he has expended his own money finish. The next place to come borrow na the joint account to take care of siblings fees or extended family feeding. Me no go fit say no cos he says na borrow but he hasn't returned one. So no more contributing to it. I keep my kobo else where.

No point making plans if you going to turn back and dance to his tune. Your marriage is a partnership and you also have a say on how it’s run. You need to start seeing yourself as a co-driver rather than a mere passenger.
Absolutely nothing wrong in saying NO if and when he comes back asking for more money

prowitin:
Well I am not yoruba but am a youth who leaves on a yoruba land and I can tell they are not all endorsing GEJ
BB Pin: 24C632E3

What's with the bb pin though, perhaps you want to negotiate your own egunje to enable you join the bandwagon?

how much?

hispinkolo:
@jaybee3
We are always happy to have male posters.I'm happier when they write epistles

I believe I saw the where can we meet in one of her posts,or maybe im imagining things.
If he likes giving,that's fantastic but his own is to give for nonsense reasons..How can someone be taking money from my Dh to fix human hair when I'm fixing darling yaki(not by choice o!).
How do you coax such a person from the behaviour when he believes he's right to do it because he's a man?
Greatheart4God is in a lot of pain.How will she now know genuine from fake?What are the odds that nothing fishy is going on especially as he's excessively defensive and obstinate.

It's very simple. she needs to do the following without nagging and probably in the middle of the night:

1) Reiterate how the impact of his actions is putting strain on both the relationship and the family finance

2) Present verifiable proof of how lack of funds has impacted on some key activities or family life

3) Proffer solutions such as:
- Increase in daily family time - This will slowly force him off that bbm/nairaland
- Opening a joint account that you both can save money into every month - He won't dare take money from the account to buy hair for other girls

4) Reassure him that even though your preference is that he didn't have that many female friends, that you understand and in order for things to work as smoothly as it can be, he needs to make sure he doesn't ignore these concerns of yours

chaircover:
Dundu and Akara for lunch is not bad

Yes oooo

You can always automate those repetitive process that's stressing you out bro

goodheart4God:
He was like this when we were dating but people kept saying that he will change when we are married. During marriage now, he has become discreet about it. No one should even suggest communication cos I have done my best but he seems to think that I want to control him. So I am not talking about it again but I am dying in silence.

You weren't comfortable with his ways while dating but decided to accept and accommodate his shortcomings with the hope that one day he might change.
It's hard to tell if his relationship with these women would manifest into undesired outcomes but the fact that can't be denied is how it's making you feel.

The only way forward is constant communication of how his actions and/or inaction are affecting you and the relationship.

Good luck

chaircover:
You need to IGNORE your boredom

I'm hungry... I need suggestions

chaircover:

I'm bored...
I need counselling

Telling porkies as usual

What was he doing in Brazil in the first instance if not smuggling drugs?

How many times has he been to Brazil?


Abegi make them send him straight to kiri kiri

chaircover:
Sir Jaybee

Sisi-Sia-cover

HumansOfLagos:
my house rent expires in a few weeks’ time and I can't renew cos the house is dilapidated and there are so many other issues and my worst fear is that it might probably collapse soon.

You’ve already concluded that this isn’t an option

HumansOfLagos:
I currently work in the Island and at the moment I have been able to save up money to rent a self-contain or mini flat but the problem is that I'm stopping work in a few months’ time and from January I'm focusing on 2 business I've been doing freelance on the side while at my current job. The problem is that I don't know if I should go ahead and rent the house with all the available funds I have knowing fully well that next year Jan will be tough and it will take me a few months to find my feet in my biz since I won't have a sure monthly income coming in again.

What sort of income is the freelance gig bringing at the moment?
Why do you have to go all the way to the Island if your current employment is coming to an end in a few months’ time?
How about finding a cheaper alternative, perhaps a single room apartment until you are able to find your feet?

padeolu:
I'm glad you acknowledged Buhari as being a great man, but can same be said of GEJ? No.


SaiBuhari_2015

Nuff said!!!!!

location?

jweasley:
Hello buddies.... One of a brother needs help on how to write a CV, he is an undergraduate still schooling but he is on holiday... He wants to do a summer holiday job and he is asked to write a CV and he needs help on how to do that.... Its based on teaching.... Can someone please write it out.. Thanks... Save a bro...

You obviously have access to the internet so why don't you just google template CV then amend to suit your need

Don't be lazy

Just focus on your education for now young man
At 19 you shouldn't really be indulging in things that would most certainly affect other aspect of your life.

Your success alone in the future is enough attraction for ladies IF only you stay on course as well as staying clued

All the best

joshbouy:
Yeah Am currently staying in Nigeria, and Am currently studying Pure and applied physics. am taking it step by step, after I receive my PhD in Physics I will know what to do next then.

You do realise Nigeria isn't a manufacturing country nor among the industry lead in research and technology

All the best

Why won't they be the best if the statistics of them being the highest paid is anything to go by.

BTW: Absolutely no correlation between course of study and psychological/behavioral pattern needed to excel in relationships

joshbouy:
Am aspiring to be a physics researcher. Basically on Atomic physics!

I'm guessing you live in Nigeria right? If yes, what next after receiving your Phd in Physics?

what are you currently studying?

ugborakson:
Mr. Proffessor you are the embarassment. Your speech does worth your person, know that Jonathan is the peoples president and not your self centered thinking about him.

Get it right man!!!!!!!!!

what's his approval rating bro?

joshbouy:
Pure and applied Physics

Then do what with it?

Why is this dude drawing attention to himself rather than his actions?
Jeez

@Ladychaircover

Hi All,
Thanks to each and everyone of you that partook in the voting exercise. Please see attached image for the final results.

@Iamdejman
Can you please send us an email to => Nairalandcharity@gmail.com


Regards

TeHN

#Just Saying

There is a problem when you trap a man because of few financial gain
There is a problem when you knowingly disregard the importance of a child having a balanced upbringing
There is a problem when you knowingly reduce your chance of ever finding that life partner after your self directed journey into single motherhood