₦airaland Forum

achieverme:
Your comment shows you are a pinhead. You left the main issue of oppression and you start addressing something meaningless. Why is your life so rotten?

How exactly did you manage to tag her experience as oppression?

Her account (which has allegedly been linked to FFK) had a prior no debit flag

It's best practice for the bank to invite the police when a suspect tries to withdraw money from a flagged account. (That's what happens in western countries)

Why would the girl go all the way to Ekiti to withdraw money when she supposedly reside in Lagos/Abuja with no connection whatsoever to Ekiti state

patriotic9jaboy:
Useless woman married to a thief. They should have locked you and the baby in separate prison because the boy automatically will become a looter tomorrow like his dad took after his grandfather. Over bleached barbie forming opinion. Spits on her Tura-soap induced skin

Relax bro

Haba

We all ask the "What are you bringing to the table" question albeit indirectly during the getting to know you phase of a relationship

Where is the car located?

Liftmaster:
Jaybee3, can Tehn help facilitate the payment if I donate through the organization?

Technically, YES but Let's discuss via email before making any payment

veave:
i'm not saying the op is right, in fact if you ask me i'll say she even needs therapy. There are so many ways one can make another do his/her bidding without imposing. doesn't sound nice at all.

I get your point but she is already showing empathy by being on this thread and providing logical suggestions to the problems

Feedback doesn't always have to a sympathy undertone for it to be tagged as effective

Her selling the tab or at least showing willingness to consider all available options simply means she is ready to get herself out of the mess, No?

veave:
I do not like the way you are commanding her.

Do you realise it's insensitive for someone with a luxury asset to ask other people that are possibly worse off for help?
Nigeria is tough and a large percentage of people that usually donate on NL probably don't own a tab


So here is a scenario to get you thinking:

How would you advice a business man that owns a house in Ikoyi but unable to continue funding his businesses because of bankruptcy. Wouldn't you advice the business man to downsize since his current status can't fund his usual lifestyle?

tearoses:
Good morning and well done to everyone. Nairalanders are indeed caring.



Please do not make her feel under pressure to abort or adopt. Only the mother of the baby has the right to decide if she wants an abortion and since she doesn’t want it, then that’s her right of choice.
Moji and Moji alone will deal with the guilt and aftermath of an abortion or adoption, so it has to be her decision only to do this.

I do pray that there is a happy ending for Moji, her mum and the innocent child/ren involved in all this.

CC caracta

No one is pressuring her into making decisions she is uncomfortable with. She is an adult and can make her own decisions but it's necessary to suggest all options that would normally help her get back on her feet.

Onegai:
Yes I do. I have a very strong ulterior motive. But I will sit my hands down and leave her to her fate, whilst you sit your butt somewhere and moralise and do nothing and be acting judgey. Please sit tight.

Well said!!!

That's why i detest morally upright idiots that will shout up and down about their faith or whatever without proffering solutions to the problems at hand

This is a girl that has openly prostituted but yet we should be objective with our suggestions

Phew

bukatyne:
Examples abeg

Your engilish na waya

Which kain yeye english


As an example:

Cleaning the house vs Mowing the lawn

Cleaning the house -
Dusting
Hoovering
Cleaning the toilet and bathroom

In absolute terms, those are 3 specific tasks needed to complete that categorized Job

Whereas

Mowing the lawn is a single task


3 is far greater than 1 in absolute terms

BUT

The single 1 is probably more difficult to achieve than the combined 3

On average, it will probably take you 2 hours to clean the house whereas it might take 3 hours to keep the lawn clean


I know you will come back with the argument of frequency but it's just a simple illustration of how chores can be equally shared

bukatyne:
Both.

I believe in both parties doing whatever they like with few exceptions like their strengths when they have the time/resources to do so.

Meaning you agree they can be equally shared if we factor in the degree of difficulty and resource needed to execute each chore

bukatyne:
> The chores are attended to with equity (I don't believe chores can be shared 'equally')

Interesting.

Why not?


Do you want to compare the chores in absolute terms or the resource needed to execute each chore?

bukatyne:
Share now... irrespective of loaction

You want specifics?

Here you go:

If my wife happens to earn more than me (Highly likely considering we are both highly educated with years of experience) then she has to contribute equally
If she earns equal or less than me then I contribute more

However much she earns, the house chores will be shared simply because it’s the logical thing to do

I can’t expect a woman that has gone to work all day to come home and start making food for me. I’m only her husband not her boss

I can’t expect her to start fixing mechanical/electrical things because that isn’t her expertise

Children are the responsibility of both parents so time resource will be equally devoted to that

bukatyne:
What's your view on the money & domestics thingy.

I believe in fairness and equity but my views would be different IF location plays a factor

However, no matter the location and income disparity, I strongly believe couples should work together as one however way they decide but ensure contribution isn't skewed in order to have deserved equity

ifyalways:
@Thorpido, Welldone and God bless.

What does she need money for?

Business according to her

What sort of business can someone who doesn't appear to have basic skills nor experience do?

What level of investment is needed to set her up so it doesn't go down the drain? (probably a million a two considering she will potentially feed 3 people)

Who in this current economic climate would be willing to invest in her considering her history of making wrong choices?

How easy is it to approach people to contribute towards any business investment when it will simply mean they are validating her poor choices without consequences whatsoever

I just can't see how she can be helped without tackling her core underlying problems


PS: Thorpido has done the right thing by initiating a resolution through her mum. I think that has to be followed up as a matter of urgency before deciding method of approach

Dyt:
Ehhhhhhh

Efemenaxy

Onegai

Funjosh

I have been begging for a raise of the money I lost and no one could help
See how jaybee3 dished my side

I'm sure you would have contacted me via our usual hangout if the appeal was genuine

Eketem:
Thank you very much for your gesture I really appreciate it.

However I am very financially comfortable my brother, just working extra hard so we can save for the rainy days and the period when work is slow. Plus this economic inflation.

Taking money from anyone would be wicked of me, I really appreciate this my brother.

No problem my sister BUT it's nothing to me so i will leave the door open IF and When you reconsider

Eketem:
As I am today I left my child barely a year and I am working in another town for a few days just for extra money to add to our earnings then I should carry my money I am sweating for away from my child and dash her

Abeg if you don't mind ehn, I go like send you a small token just to encourage you further. Hard work pays and your efforts shall be crowned with sustainable growth..Insha Allah

PS: Send me a PM if you are comfortable with my gesture

Onegai:
Eketem, tearoses, fynbabe, keepingmum and blank, it's the same girl.

To slap person dey hungry me right now, chei. Baby no.3 will show up very soon and she will be helpless again.

Exactly

It sucks that she isn't being realistic

We should only reward people that genuinely try not those that have a false sense of entitlement

It's hard to disregard her history of making poor choices hence why i've been going on about finding a lasting solution to her problem which obviously doesn't include money at this time

Money does not solve all problems

Thanks raumdeuter

Nothing more to add

5minsmadness:
I think the word is dangerous, not expensive. At 3months the placenta is fully formed and very tenacious. A lot of uncontrollable bleeding can occur and lead to death.

Hence why it's expensive right?

I know it's a difficult and unethical position but she already has a child which she is unable to cater for, She also has history of prostituting herself so why then should she be allowed to bring another innocent child into the world.

I'm just thinking out aloud

I don't see how any help can be far reaching without tackling the obvious issue of her lackadaisical attitude to her selfworth

Onegai:
Jaybee3, it's really expensive to terminate after 3 months (if she's upto that sef).

I honestly don't mind paying for that with additional family planning or whatever

Her history suggests her major problem is self control hence the need to solve the pregnancy ish

Please you guys should CC me once the case is fully verified

Thanks Y'all

keepingmum:
I remember this lady posted whilst in SA regarding her baby daddy and how he had deceived her 2 come bk 2 9ja. Her mum was very disappointed in her for coming bk home wt an extra mouth 2 feed/ no source of income etc and she had being having challenges with her mum. ....this was on a thread about 2 yrs bk.

For the life of me I cannot understand how you can get pregnant again for another man who hasn't married you. You can barely feed urself not to talk of the 1st child .

I do not think you need antenatal. You need to terminate this pregnancy , get urself busy making hair. I am sure there are areas in igando where ladies go 2 make hair. Go there daily with ur child and you ll get customers and be able 2 feed.

After a few months when you hv established ur customer Base, redirect them to ur house and continue frome there.

Raising a child is not beans and NOBODY owes you nada!!. Your mum has done all she can for u and whatever else she chooses to do is a bonus not an entitlement.

Finally, learn to have protected sezz. A condom/contraceptive is cheaper than a pack of pampers.

Nairn landers who want to help pls help this lady bit encourage her to utilize her time . I know she is genuine. I know these because I recall her earlier thread ...with a similar moji type of username

GBAM

Someone is thinking rationally

Thank God

MizMyColi:
If you see the way she eulogized the boy on Whatsapp, you will know it's not even an option.
Cute Kid too.

I understand the need for logic, but let's also apply empathy.

Mynd has done well to hide those posts.

I don't think she's lying.

Yes she might have done sex work on NL and beyond to make ends meet, but then, perhaps she was forced to cos she felt she has no other choice.

It is true she opened this account newly.
I will do same if I were in her shoes.

Why would I use an account for prostitition to ask for help, no one will take me seriously.

Perhaps, she smuggled her way into South Africa. More like runs girl things.

I may not know all the story.
But my intuition doesn't fail me just like that.

This woman here needs help.
She might have used all the Tecno tablets and power banks in this world. She might have f*ked Obama himself, but as it stands now, she needs help. Monetary, then psychological help.

A look at her posts suggests that she hasn't found it funny in the hands of men....
True, she put herself in that position.

But then....

Don't you think it's the genuine empathy that's making us devote resource (time) to this?

I just think it's important to be realistic with expectations. We can't provide solutions to all her problems AND whatever solutions we provide must be sustainable else there really isn't any point

moji26:
if Tehncan provide me a little money to start business, fine

These are the same questions TeHN would ask you as they don't just hand money over without being absolutely convinced it would impact on your life going forward

Here are the basic things you need to put into consideration:

Your issues are as a direct result of poor choices and thus wouldn't attract as much sympathy as someone with a medical condition or extreme deprivation.

You are being receptive to ideas that might otherwise provide you with a longer term solution until you are able to get back on your feet

You don't have a lot of options so i implore you to be realistic with your expectations

Onegai:
Check the dates of her postings. It's not her past, check the dates! Which girl gets pregnant and immediately in the first month of pregnancy, turns to prostitution when she has stuff she can exchange for money? Read thar suzzy16's posts and ask yourself if she sounds genuine or like a hustler. How come she did not have a bank account, had zero idea how to open one today, yet for the past year on NL has been chatting with foreigners and trying to make friends with people who didn't want to contact her? Does that sound logical? Does any of that past match up to the person you read about in the first post?

I honestly get your point Sis. I'm just worried about us losing sight of what's important even though it hasn't been verified. I don't support anyone sending money without the case being verified

Yes it's possible that she and others might want to take people's goodwill for granted and all but we can't ignore the following until proven otherwise:

Suicidal thoughts
Absolute poverty
Pregnancy
Emotional Imbalance

etc

moji26:
i dnt want to

So what specific help do you need then since you aren't necessarily open to suggestions

Do you realise things will only get worse with an addition to your current situation?

Do you realise majority of people that might be inclined to donate don't have the luxury of what you are insisting on?

Do you realise it's insensitive to be procreating in this difficult economy?

Contact TeHN once you are realistic with your expectations

Have a good day

I honestly think everyone should relax about this scam busting charade

Are we going to throw her under the bus even if her stories are proven to be true just because she has a questionable past?

moji26:
i dnt want to abort d baby, as God seems me, it's like killing an innocent child and my life may even be in danger, pls help me out people

How about giving your child up for adoption?

@OP

How deep are you into the pregnancy?
How old is your first child?
What skills have you learnt from the training you mentioned?

Answer truthfully and let's see what can be done to remedy the situation